Be Careful in the Dark

The bathroom was everything the living room was not. Rich, blue tiles on the floor and around the enormous, sunken bath that really deserved the name tub. Fluffy, white towels and... bath oils. Ginger, myrrh, and sandalwood. Why, Snape, you closet hedonist you! She grinned at that. Not quite what she would have chosen for herself but good enough. Ginger would do for today, given her aching muscles. She filled the tub with steaming hot water and then lowered the lights until they were at an acceptably dim level. She climbed in and could not stop the sigh of contentment escaping her lips. She wasn't going to move for a week. She wet a cloth and put a few drops of sandalwood on it. Draping it over her eyes, she let herself drift.

She didn't sleep; she just floated between awareness and sleep. She had to pull herself back together. She couldn't have had a nervous breakdown before she fired off the letter. Oh no, she just had to wait until Severus Snape showed up to rescue her. She snorted at that.

Can I trust Snape? Worry hovered in her head for a moment before she dismissed it. Snape was a bastard but he could be trusted. Probably. As much as anybody. Besides, he didn't know anything. She was going to have to come up with a story to explain her unwillingness to return to Hogwart's, a version of the truth that he would believe. She felt a surge of irritation; the constant lying was taxing.

You could always tell him the truth. She giggled and rolled her eyes under the damp cloth. She could just imagine Snape's expression if she spilled her story. Then he'd run right to Dumbledore. No, irritating or no, she now had secrets that needed to be kept.

She felt like somebody had shelled her out and splatted everything she was against a wall. What the hell do I do now? Flashes of the past year popped up behind her eyes and she felt a tightening in her gut. I am not going to vomit. She took several breaths, in and out, in and out. She started to cry. Making little strangled sounds of distress she curled up into a ball in the warm water.

I want to go back. I don't want to have done the things I have done. I don't want to know the things I know. I am going to end up a monster just like THEM!!!

She didn't know how long she remained in the tub or how long she cried. When she was finished she strongly resembled a prune and felt a lot better; exhausted but she no longer felt like she was coming apart at the seams. She was going to play the what-to-tell-Severus game by ear, though she had some ideas. One in particular was pinging around with like a nervous tick. Had she called him Severus? She had meant Professor Snape. Really.

Having little desire to climb back into her previous clothing, she slipped into the giant terrycloth robe hanging on the back of the door. Snape was quite a bit taller than she was and it dragged ridiculously behind her but it was better than being naked. Maybe Snape would transfigure her some pants or something.

Bundling her old clothes into a pile, she traipsed back down the stairs, wondering if Snape had anything to eat.

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Snape was sitting in his kitchen, drinking a cup of tea. He looked up when she entered the room and she thought she saw his face twitch in an effort not to smile.

"Anything to eat in the bat cave?" Hermione asked and then couldn't believe the words had come out of her mouth. Good going, genius. You're about to lie your ass off to a double agent and you start by insulting him. She willed her rising blush down and met his glare.

"I hope you like insects, Miss Granger." Snape drawled.

"At this point, anything sounds acceptable. And do you think you could call me Hermione? Please." Exhaustion crept into her voice. She hadn't really gotten a lot of sleep during this ordeal.

"Hermione." He said, as if testing it out. Then he stood and opened a small wooden cupboard. He pulled out a steaming plate of steak, potatoes, and corn. He closed it and opened it again. A chilled goblet of pumpkin juice had appeared. He set the plate and the cup in front of her before sitting back down.

"Thank you." She said and Snape just lifted his lip it at her. "I borrowed your robe."

"I can see that."

"I didn't... really... want to put my old clothes back. In fact, if you could set them on fire for me, that would be great." She gave him a sickly smile and then dug into the steaming food.

"Why don't you do that yourself... Hermione?" Snape grumbled at her.

"Because I don't have my wand."

"And you did not see fit to tell me this why?" Snape actually looked angry now.

"It wouldn't have mattered. Malfoy burnt it." Hermione replied. This, at least, had been a planned lie. No need to publicly keep a wand that had cast an Unforgivable. Snape started.

"That's... I see." He curled long, supple fingers around the steaming mug and glared at her. Supple? Jesus, girl, get a hold of yourself.

She relished the silence as she ate. It was comforting to have the sound of nothing in her ears, though it wasn't really quiet. Snape rustled now and again very slightly. The stool she was sitting at creaked as she shifted her weight. Snape's tea cup clicked softly against the counter top. Her fork scraped across the porcelain of the plate. But they were all normal, comforting sounds that amounted to silence in her head. For the time being, she did not have think or lie or do anything unpleasant. She could just enjoy the feeling of being alive.

She cleared her plate and then pushed it back with a sigh. Snape stared at her with hooded eyes.

"He wanted me to be his mistress." She said softly into the quiet of the room. Snape choked on his tea, spluttering and coughing he set the cup down roughly. Hermione had not realized her professor could turn that particular shade of red. Finally, he managed to control himself.

"I see."

"I really need you to stop saying that." Again, the words came out before she could stop them. She dropped her head in her hands and closed her eyes for a moment.

"I... what would you like me to say, Miss...Hermione." Snape's hand trembled slightly as he once again attempted to pick up his cup. "Do you understand what he was really after?" Snape's face closed up as if he regretted asking the question. He probably thought he was going to have to explain how exactly a wizard could drain his mistress to death through the link. Hermione wondered idly if there was a female equivalent to the connection.

"Yes." She had thought about making Snape explain it but decided it was a little cruel. "He was quite explicit."

"And did he mention that it had to be voluntary."

"Oh yes. In fact, he rather relished that aspect of it."

Snape was silent.

"He was also quite explicit about how he was going to snap my mind in two until I begged him for the privilege of being his latest pet." Hermione's whole body trembled. This was tale she was weaving was close enough to the truth that she felt a little sick to her stomach.

"You do not have to tell me this." Snape sounded completely neutral and she couldn't tell if he wanted to know or didn't.

"I know. But I'm not sure I can tell this to Dumbledore. So I'm going to tell you so you can do it for me."

Snape ran a hand through his hair and nodded, looking tired and worn.

"That's about the time he gave me a lust potion. I'm not sure which one."

"You said he did not rape you." Snape grated this out and if she didn't know better she would have said he was furious though whether it was at her, Malfoy, or life in general she really couldn't say.

"He didn't."

"If he used a lust potion, it was rape."

"He. Didn't. Rape. Me." She spoke very slowly and met his eyes. Within moments, understanding dawned in his eyes.

"He made you beg for it and then he pushed you away." Snape said, very softly.

Hermione nodded and found herself crying. I thought I was done with that. She sniffled. Snape looked panicked and she giggled unexpectedly.

"Don't worry Professor. I don't think I'm ready to handle sympathy just yet."

Snape nodded sharply.

"Good."

She was really laughing now. She knew it was hysteria but it felt better than crying. Snape just looked at her with a tiny smirk which, for whatever reason, just made the whole situation funnier. Finally, her laughter wheezed to a stop.

"Miss Granger, are you still, experiencing..." Snape cleared his throat and Hermione wondered at the discomfort on his face. "... side effects."

He was a Potions Master. He would have something to make her reactions to the potion stop. Bless him.

"Yes. It's low level but... yes."

Snape nodded and left the room. He was back within moments and in his hand was a vial. He handed it to her and she swallowed it without hesitation. Within moments, the arousal running through her system came to a complete halt. She could not stop the shudder of relief that rolled through her.

"Thank…that is... thanks." That was articulate, Granger. Ok, maybe something to distract from her foolishness? "He's dead, right? You killed him, right?" She knew the question was abrupt but Snape nodded, almost to himself.

"He's dead but I did not kill him." Snape replied.

"You didn't? Who did?" Hermione asked. Snape opened his mouth and she held up her hand. "For once in my life, I don't want to know."

"Then all is well because I don't know either." He seemed frustrated at this admission.

"Oh." A long pause. "Was it painful?"

"I imagine it was not pleasant. He had a rather large knife sticking out of his chest."

"Good." She hissed fiercely. She blinked at him, exhaustion coming over her in waves. Stifling a yawn, a thought occurred to her. "I really need to sleep."

"The bedroom is upstairs, on the right."

Hermione paused. Was her idea stupid or would it actually work as a method of distraction? Would Snape find helpless Hermione sympathetic or would it just make him suspicious? She took a deep breath and steeled herself. There was only one way to find out.

"Professor, we don't have the sort of relationship that I can really ask you for a favor but I'm going to do it anyway." She paused for a moment and decided if she was really going to say it. Ah, fuck it. "I really don't want to sleep alone." Keeping Snape off balance seemed like a good idea and she ignored the niggling voice in her head that suggested maybe it was the truth. Even if he refused she would have confused him.

"Miss Granger, are you suggesting..." Snape's mouth worked in horror. Hermione had to shove another bout of giggles down.

"No, I'm not. I really mean sleep. Being alone right now... I'm not sure I can handle it. And I think you're among the least likely people to be interested in doing anything... err... inappropriate...and I kind of need that too." Hermione shifted and wondered if she had made a mistake.

Snape just stared at her. Hermione tried to give him time to come to a decision but after a while, it seemed clear that he had given her his version of an answer.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have... I'm sorry..." She stuttered, mortified she had even asked.

Snape raised one hand to silence her. His lips were pressed into a flat, white line.

"If you breathe one word of this, to anyone... anyone... I will make sure you serve detention every night for the rest of your life."

"I would expect nothing less." Hermione managed evenly and hoped the surge of relief she felt didn’t show. She turned without a word and headed up the stairs. Her heart began pounding furiously in her chest when she heard Snape's sure tread behind her. Don't trip on the robe. Don't tribe on the robe. Shit, I tripped on the robe.

"Careful, Miss Granger." Snape said very softly behind her. She nodded in response. She opened the dark wood door slowly, feeling like she was invading Snape's privacy. Which, of course, she was. The bedroom was full of sandy colored wood and forest greens. It was a surprisingly comforting room. The bed was enormous and up against the farthest wall. Hermione swallowed. The reality of her request washed over her.

"Professor, do you think you could transfigure me something a little more comfortable for sleeping in?" Hermione kept her tone neutral and snuck a look at him. Snape's face had not relaxed an iota from its pinched position. With a round loop of his wand, he transfigured the robe she was wearing into a pair of flannel pajamas. Hermione stifled a giggle at her puritan garb. It covered every inch of her body except her fingers and was at least a size to big.

"Thank you."

Snape nodded in response.

Hermione walked over to the bed and crawled in under the covers with a contented sigh. Snape just stood, as stiff as ever, in his black robes. His black eyes peered out at her from behind his greasy, lanky locks and he looked incredibly uncomfortable.

"Perhaps we should rethink the sleeping arrangements." He said.

"I would very much like you to stay though I can understand if you are uncomfortable. I hope you are prepared to listen to me screaming in the middle of the night because I can promise at least one scream-worthy nightmare." Hermione looked at her hands as she spoke. He would most likely cave if he felt he was free to leave.

"Nox." With an irritated wave of his wand, most of the lights in the room went out. "Go to sleep. I will remain here."

Hermione nodded and curled up in the large bed.