To Teach
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
27
Views:
21,362
Reviews:
113
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
27
Views:
21,362
Reviews:
113
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Unloaded burdens
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are all JK Rowling\'s. I don\'t own a single one. I\'m borrowing them for a little debauchery, then, I\'ll give them back.
A/N: Great big hugs to all of my reviewers!! Tonight you get two chapters!!
Papaya: Quietly raging emotion...I like that. It\'s all about control, who has it, and who completely loses it. *grins* I like to think that I\'ve got a pretty good grasp of the English language. My English teacher in high school and all three of my Comp teachers (yes, I took Comp I twice LOL!) would probably strangle me if I didn\'t by now. LOL! With this story, I\'ve worked really hard to get my readers to care about the characters. It\'s those in between, human moments that I think are what pulls on a readers heart. Thank you for your wonderful reviews. I\'m like a friggin\' kid at Christmas logging onto this place!
Kat: Squeeeeeeee! I\'m so glad you found my story!! I appreciate your review and hope beyond hope you\'ll keep reading! I\'ll give you a little bit of a teaser...in the coming chapters, the plot thickens, and there\'s going to be some smut!! =D
Relicwitch: I know, I\'m such a bad, bad author. Stupid evil cliffies!! *scowls at self* I\'ve almost got you guys caught up with what I\'ve got written! Only about 9 more chapters! *gasp*
On to the story, shall we???
Severus spent most of the day in the study. He knew that he had to do something to occupy his mind, so he took to copying down a couple of especially complicated potions instructions. Only, his head wasn’t really in it. His thoughts kept straying to the young man somewhere in the castle. He wanted to go to Harry. He wanted to tell him everything that he was thinking. Severus wanted to tell Harry that he loved him. Severus knew that he could not do that. He knew, in his heart, that Harry was twenty years his junior and that a day would come when the young man would see him for what he really was, a washed up has been and an ex-death eater. He gave up trying to concentrate and decided that maybe a walk in the labyrinth would clear his head.
When he made it to the garden, he saw that Harry had the same idea. The young man paced slowly through the maze of grass and stone with his head bowed. He was oblivious to everything around him and Snape just watched him for a time. Harry wandered from the edge into the center and back and it did nothing to keep the thoughts in his head from racing. The movement did loosen up his ankle and work the majority of the soreness from it, but the physical pain he felt was much more welcome than the emotional struggle he was having.
When he made his way back to the edge, Snape spoke. “Seems, Potter, that we had the same idea.”
Harry looked up wide eyed at the smirk playing across the man’s lips. Dropping his head, Harry mumbled, “It’s ok, it’s not helping me too much, you can have it.”
Harry headed back to the castle without a second glance back. Wow, his mind is really screwed up today! Surely he doesn’t think…
Snape decided against the labyrinth and trotted back up to the castle to find Harry. The young man was sitting on the southern balcony watching the trees in the distance. “Care to unload that heavy burden Potter?”
Harry sighed and just shook his head. Snape sat in the chair beside him and took his hand. “Well, it’s safe to say that something’s bothering you. I’ll wager to guess that it’s about what happened yesterday.”
Harry looked at him in mild surprise. Snape continued, “Harry, you should know that I’m not good at this…stuff. I’ve always been a snarky bastard for a reason. I…I just really don’t know what to say.”
Harry, feeling a little more confident looked at the man beside him. “You said I was a temptation. Does that mean that I could be a conquest? Does it mean something deeper?”
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Harry, I don’t have ‘conquests.’ That’s absolutely absurd. But, as to that comment, yes, it meant something much deeper.”
He turned to Harry, and took one of his hands. “Harry, I’ve always been one to keep my emotions strictly in check. I had to, doing what I did for so long. Even before that, I had to because any sign of emotion could be misconstrued as a weakness. You tempt me to let everything go, to forget who I am and what kind of an image I convey to people. You make me want to smile and never stop. Just how do you think it would look for me to waltz into my potions class with a smile on my face?”
Harry chuckled at the image of a happy Snape. It really was an absurd image. “Why won’t you allow yourself to be happy, though? Voldemort is dead, his minions are long gone, and you can have a real life. Do you not want that?”
Snape dropped Harry’s hand and leaned up, putting his elbows on his knees. “Harry, I’m not sure I know what happiness is. My life has been devoid of anything remotely resembling that emotion.”
Harry brushed back a strand from the man’s face. “That’s not true and you know it, Severus. Your potions give you happiness. Developing new potions does, too. It’s like when I fly, but that kind of happiness isn’t something you can carry around with you. It’s not a lasting happiness, so to speak.”
“Until I was told that I was a wizard, I didn’t live, I existed. The Dursley’s treated me like utter shit, like a slave. You know what, though, my quiet time in the cupboard made me happy. I didn’t have Vernon screaming at me, or hitting me. I didn’t have Dudley bullying me. I didn’t have Petunia cringing every time I walked by. There I could just be Harry. Granted, it was only me and the spiders, but I was Harry. There was nothing resembling happiness in that home for me, and until I went to Hogwarts, I didn’t know that. I didn’t know happiness. So, if anyone in this world understands having a void in his heart where happiness should be, it’s me.”
Severus looked at the young man next to him and could see the unshed tears in his emerald eyes. “I still don’t know Harry. It’s just so foreign for me. I understand emotions like anger so much better.”
Harry smiled causing his tears to fall. “Severus, I do too. Let’s take the next three months day by day. I want to try to find happiness, and I would really like to try to find it with you. Behind the façade of ‘greasy git’ and ‘sarcastic bastard’, there’s a very gentle person. He’s kind, caring, and brilliant. I like that person. I like that person even more knowing that ‘git’ and ‘bastard’ are simply masks he wears.”
The young man looked into the obsidian depths of Severus’ eyes, and saw a flicker of something. Harry equated it almost to a flame that Snape had tried to drown out, and couldn’t. He knew that he’d gotten through to him. Snape smiled. “Let’s take it day by day, Harry.”
He kissed Severus on the forehead, turned, and walked in the castle.
A/N: Great big hugs to all of my reviewers!! Tonight you get two chapters!!
Papaya: Quietly raging emotion...I like that. It\'s all about control, who has it, and who completely loses it. *grins* I like to think that I\'ve got a pretty good grasp of the English language. My English teacher in high school and all three of my Comp teachers (yes, I took Comp I twice LOL!) would probably strangle me if I didn\'t by now. LOL! With this story, I\'ve worked really hard to get my readers to care about the characters. It\'s those in between, human moments that I think are what pulls on a readers heart. Thank you for your wonderful reviews. I\'m like a friggin\' kid at Christmas logging onto this place!
Kat: Squeeeeeeee! I\'m so glad you found my story!! I appreciate your review and hope beyond hope you\'ll keep reading! I\'ll give you a little bit of a teaser...in the coming chapters, the plot thickens, and there\'s going to be some smut!! =D
Relicwitch: I know, I\'m such a bad, bad author. Stupid evil cliffies!! *scowls at self* I\'ve almost got you guys caught up with what I\'ve got written! Only about 9 more chapters! *gasp*
On to the story, shall we???
Severus spent most of the day in the study. He knew that he had to do something to occupy his mind, so he took to copying down a couple of especially complicated potions instructions. Only, his head wasn’t really in it. His thoughts kept straying to the young man somewhere in the castle. He wanted to go to Harry. He wanted to tell him everything that he was thinking. Severus wanted to tell Harry that he loved him. Severus knew that he could not do that. He knew, in his heart, that Harry was twenty years his junior and that a day would come when the young man would see him for what he really was, a washed up has been and an ex-death eater. He gave up trying to concentrate and decided that maybe a walk in the labyrinth would clear his head.
When he made it to the garden, he saw that Harry had the same idea. The young man paced slowly through the maze of grass and stone with his head bowed. He was oblivious to everything around him and Snape just watched him for a time. Harry wandered from the edge into the center and back and it did nothing to keep the thoughts in his head from racing. The movement did loosen up his ankle and work the majority of the soreness from it, but the physical pain he felt was much more welcome than the emotional struggle he was having.
When he made his way back to the edge, Snape spoke. “Seems, Potter, that we had the same idea.”
Harry looked up wide eyed at the smirk playing across the man’s lips. Dropping his head, Harry mumbled, “It’s ok, it’s not helping me too much, you can have it.”
Harry headed back to the castle without a second glance back. Wow, his mind is really screwed up today! Surely he doesn’t think…
Snape decided against the labyrinth and trotted back up to the castle to find Harry. The young man was sitting on the southern balcony watching the trees in the distance. “Care to unload that heavy burden Potter?”
Harry sighed and just shook his head. Snape sat in the chair beside him and took his hand. “Well, it’s safe to say that something’s bothering you. I’ll wager to guess that it’s about what happened yesterday.”
Harry looked at him in mild surprise. Snape continued, “Harry, you should know that I’m not good at this…stuff. I’ve always been a snarky bastard for a reason. I…I just really don’t know what to say.”
Harry, feeling a little more confident looked at the man beside him. “You said I was a temptation. Does that mean that I could be a conquest? Does it mean something deeper?”
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Harry, I don’t have ‘conquests.’ That’s absolutely absurd. But, as to that comment, yes, it meant something much deeper.”
He turned to Harry, and took one of his hands. “Harry, I’ve always been one to keep my emotions strictly in check. I had to, doing what I did for so long. Even before that, I had to because any sign of emotion could be misconstrued as a weakness. You tempt me to let everything go, to forget who I am and what kind of an image I convey to people. You make me want to smile and never stop. Just how do you think it would look for me to waltz into my potions class with a smile on my face?”
Harry chuckled at the image of a happy Snape. It really was an absurd image. “Why won’t you allow yourself to be happy, though? Voldemort is dead, his minions are long gone, and you can have a real life. Do you not want that?”
Snape dropped Harry’s hand and leaned up, putting his elbows on his knees. “Harry, I’m not sure I know what happiness is. My life has been devoid of anything remotely resembling that emotion.”
Harry brushed back a strand from the man’s face. “That’s not true and you know it, Severus. Your potions give you happiness. Developing new potions does, too. It’s like when I fly, but that kind of happiness isn’t something you can carry around with you. It’s not a lasting happiness, so to speak.”
“Until I was told that I was a wizard, I didn’t live, I existed. The Dursley’s treated me like utter shit, like a slave. You know what, though, my quiet time in the cupboard made me happy. I didn’t have Vernon screaming at me, or hitting me. I didn’t have Dudley bullying me. I didn’t have Petunia cringing every time I walked by. There I could just be Harry. Granted, it was only me and the spiders, but I was Harry. There was nothing resembling happiness in that home for me, and until I went to Hogwarts, I didn’t know that. I didn’t know happiness. So, if anyone in this world understands having a void in his heart where happiness should be, it’s me.”
Severus looked at the young man next to him and could see the unshed tears in his emerald eyes. “I still don’t know Harry. It’s just so foreign for me. I understand emotions like anger so much better.”
Harry smiled causing his tears to fall. “Severus, I do too. Let’s take the next three months day by day. I want to try to find happiness, and I would really like to try to find it with you. Behind the façade of ‘greasy git’ and ‘sarcastic bastard’, there’s a very gentle person. He’s kind, caring, and brilliant. I like that person. I like that person even more knowing that ‘git’ and ‘bastard’ are simply masks he wears.”
The young man looked into the obsidian depths of Severus’ eyes, and saw a flicker of something. Harry equated it almost to a flame that Snape had tried to drown out, and couldn’t. He knew that he’d gotten through to him. Snape smiled. “Let’s take it day by day, Harry.”
He kissed Severus on the forehead, turned, and walked in the castle.