Leaving Behind

Chapter 11

Pairing: Harry/Severus

Rating: Strong R/NC-17

Beta: Thanks to my new beta Angel. *on fanfiction.net I'm known as Light Vamp* As well as my second beta Wingscythe02 for looking if we missed anything. You both are just great really. Thanks for all the hard that you do for me.

Spoilers: All Books if you have not read all of the books don't read this.

Warning: Cussing, Slight Beatings, SLASH! Lemon later on.

Summary: Harry goes back to the Dursleys after 5th year. He learns some new things and runs away from the Dursleys. When goes back to school only to push the only friends he has ever known way. Can Severus being back the Harry they all once knew or is he lost forever.

A/N: Well by now most of you have read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. If not well I am not saying much on it so no spoilers. Just that the fact that the book has come out will not change my fan fic in anyway shape or form… I might later on put a little of what happened in the book in my story but I have not quite gotten to that point yet. But most likely it won't happen. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. Miki

Another AN: Dear manx, I can honestly say I have never raised children or even a brother or sister. But I can say that if I was faced with something like Harry (I know that is rather impossible but) I would react in the end like Harry. This is why it is fan fiction I just write sometimes I don't even plan to do what ends up just writing it' self. About me going on and on about thing… that more has to do with I hate not having enough information for a reader cuz I hate reading stories that have less then no really detail. This is just how my writing is and I can't really do much about that. One other thing I have a learning disability… my spelling or missing words is what it is. I try but sometimes you miss things and even betas miss things we are only humans. Thanks for reading my story and reviewing.


Last Chapter:

"Oh Harry Potter is a great wizard coming to see Dobby," Dobby gushed, but again before Harry could escape, Dobby had flung himself at Harry's and was again hugging his legs. Once prying Dobby off his legs, Harry exited the kitchen and headed towards the dungeons where the Occlumency classes were to be held.

He stood in front of the classroom door hoping that this year the professor would have more patients then he had previously with him. He had been working on it and had found books and read up on the subject he was still not all the way great at it for you could not truly master Occlumency if you did not have someone there testing your skills at all turns. For there were still times Harry would wake up in the middle of the night and his scar burning in pain as his eyes stung with unshed tears at the horror he had seen in the visions Voldemort would send him. Though now he was able to block out most of the pain that seemed to come with these visions. He could feel the victims' pain as they were placed under various painful curses, raped and tortured either by Voldemort himself or one of his many Death Eaters. He could now tell which ones were starting to waver from their lord, for they look as if they wanted to die every time he ordered them to do something. The only thing that kept them under his orders was fear of death. For when you said 'no' to Voldemort it was an instant death sentence, he did not like to be second guessed or said 'no' to. Harry had seen first hand what he had done to those who have dared to question his orders. He made them an example to the others of what not to do in his presence by killing them in the most horrendous way Harry had ever had the misfortune of seeing. He often spent days following visions like that studying or running out by the lake on in his trunk gym, for the stronger he got the closer he got to killing the mad man that hunted every breath he took.

It still sometimes felt like a never ending battle. There had been times, many times in fact, that all Harry wanted to do was give up, just stop, but he knew he could never do that, he had to fight on if not for himself then for the ones he cared about. He brought himself out of his musing and knocked on the door to the potions classroom.

"Enter," came the voice of Professor Snape from behind the door. Harry turned the knob on the door to enter the classroom. The desk and chairs had been moved to the side of the room all but one lone desk sat in the middle of the room presumably where he was supposed to be sitting. "Sit behind the desk Potter," Snape said, his normal cutting voice missing. Harry sat and watched as Severus passed behind his desk. "Now, as the Headmaster insists we are to meet more than once a week. So I will be teaching you Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Charms, and Occlumency. I also thought it would be good to learn Dueling." Harry nodded he head but said nothing. "You will do your work, you will not complain, you will have extra homework from me for all of this, and you will have it all done before our next meeting. The assignments will be turned in on time to me at the beginning of every session. They will be essays on what we will cover in the session. If you do not do the essays you will be lost and you will miss that lesson. There are no make-ups. I will not go back and do that lesson if that should happen. No excuses because I really don't care. So unless you are on the brink of death you will do the lessons I have set for you. If you truly do not understand the lesson we will stop and you may ask questions on what you do not understand, and I will try to help you so you do understand. But if you think for one minute that I am here to try and help you when you refuse to do anything then you are sorely mistaken. If you get too behind with the lessons then I will cancel them from here on and you can find someone else to teach you. Are we understood?"

"Yes Sir." Harry said.

"Good good. Now, as I have said these essays are what we will be doing the practical work on in the next lesson. I will give you the work at the end of Occlumency lessons. Starting today we will set up times for you to come and do the other lessons. These lessons will not be easy so if you are looking for an easy time you might as well leave now and ask your werewolf to teach you." Severus stopped his rant as he stood behind his desk hands pressed firmly to the desk top in front of him.

"I know what I am getting myself into this time sir. I won't cause you any trouble," Harry said, looking Severus in the eyes. Severus nodded. "I will do my work and work hard for it means my life and the lives of others if I don't." Severus stared, not really sure what to say to that comment, so he cleared his voice and changed topic.

"Now you have told me you have been working on Occlumency over break. Tell me, how that has been going?"

"Well I'm not having as many dreams as I've had before sir," Harry stated lamely.

"Well let's see on how well your practice stands up to practical measures. I will tell you the times of your other lessons at the end of the lesson as well as your first few essays. Now, stand up, take out your wand, and try to stop me from entering your mind." Harry stood and thought about his wand, causing it to spring out of the invisible holder on his wrist into his hand. He quickly flicked his wand towards the desk and chair and they soared over to the side of the room to join the others. Severus stood with his wand raised, pointing it at Harry.

"Now on the count of three." Harry nodded. "One… Two… Three… Legilimens!" Harry felt, Severus trying to get into his mind. Severus was pushing hard almost lovingly prying to find a weak spot and take advantage of it. Harry was doing surprisingly well. Neither of them was aware of how much time was passing but both of them were starting to show signs of wear, both panting as sweat ran down their brows and dripped off of the tips of there noses.

'Just a little more,' Severus said to himself. 'Ah there!' Severus gave one hard push and the walls around Harry's mind crumbled around. He was in.

Harry watched as he used the Oblivious Charm on his relatives. Then as after one particularly hard training session he crawled over the couch in his library and tried in vain to pull himself up onto the couch, and as he ended up passing out half way up and sliding onto the floor with soft thud. Then he watched long fingered hands trail up his neck and body as dark eyes looked into his with such passion, love, and desire that it about made his heart melt again.

"NO!!!!" Harry screams, and the walls around his mind are slammed back into place. Severus is thrown from Harry's mind so fast that he looses his balance and falls to the ground, dizzy from the force.

Harry shook himself of the memories that where just flashing across his mind and realizes that he is lying on the ground, his scar pricking, his breath heavy, and his emotions high. Painfully slow, Harry pushes himself up onto his knees, keeping his eyes towards the ground. Slowly, he brought his eyes up to look at Severus who was getting to his feet.

Severus stood, not sure of what to make of the flashes that he got from Harry's mind. He could have almost sworn that those eyes that held so much emotion towards Harry had, in fact, been his, and those long fingered hands that ran over that neck and body in such a loving caress had also been his. It couldn't be, it was not possible that this beautiful creature before him had been having those thoughts about him. It was just not possible. Severus shook his head to dislodge the thoughts and watched as a very red Harry Potter looked at him. 'It can't be true. It just can't,' Severus told himself firmly.

"You did well." It was the first complement Harry had ever received from the man in all the years that he has known him. "I can tell you have been practicing Occlumency a lot over break. You still need a little more work though. It is one thing to practice it, but a whole other thing to put it to practical use when someone is trying to force there way into your mind and test you." Severus beckoned, Harry to stand. "Now let's try that again. One… Two… Three… Legilimens!"

Harry felt that same constant pressure on the walls of his mind, though this time, instead of just holding them in place, he started to make them stronger, filling in places that seemed to be weakening and reinforcing the others. He was not going to let his mind be taken over again. He has so many things to keep secret now more so then ever, his life after he ran away from the Dursleys, his new home and his house elf Sunny, not to mention his trunk and all of the things he was learning in there. He wanted to tell the man on his own time when the time was right, not have it come out in one of these lessons and be forced to tell. He knew that soon he was going to have to tell Severus about the trunk and everything. With even more lessons with the man, it would be hard for Severus not to know something is up. Especially when the other lessons began since Harry learned most of the spells and potions he had been teaching to himself all break. So far the only really good lesson that he could see would be of the use was Dueling, for that is what he really needed. It was one thing to know the spell and be able to cast it at a moments notice, but a much bigger thing when you have to cast it against someone you are fighting against. Harry was so caught up in his thoughts that his walls where starting to slip again.

Severus felt his way around Harry's mind searching, for any kind of weakness in the walls that was blocking his entry. Severus did have to admit, he was very curious about this new Harry Potter. This boy who seems to hold the world in his hands at such a young age,(though that had been the wizarding world's fault for putting him in that position before he was even old enough to know just what he had done). His attitude towards everything had changed as well, whether dramatically worse or for the better, Severus did not know yet. When before there used to be an arrogant, relatively happy child, now standing before him stood a serious and determined man, a young man, but a man none the less. This boy who seemed to have grown up way to fast, faster then is really healthy for a person. Harry Potter had old eyes, eyes that had seen and done more things in their short life that most people will never do in their life time or even dream of doing. He had felt the hardship of losing someone close numerous times in fact. That's what war did to people, it makes them desperate, even if it means they put all there hope in one young boy. Severus knew though that Harry could do it if he put his mind to it for that was the kind of person Harry was.

'What was he doing during the break? He never told me when we would talk over the break just said he was busy and had finished his school work and then left it at that. What was the meaning of that flash I got of him crawling into some room and passing out on the floor before he even got to the couch? I'll just have to work on getting him to tell me,' Severus thought to himself just as he found a weakened spot in the great wall that protected the mind he so desperately wanted to get to know, for Harry was someone Severus wanted to know. Harry was a case that Severus wanted to crack no matter how long it took.

Severus admitted to himself that he had been so very wrong about Harry Potter. In their world you just hear the name "Harry Potter" and you think hero, spoiled, loved, and, hell, worshiped by some. His childhood had not been what Severus had ever imagined, but then again these thoughts where for another time, right now he had a mind to break into. Severus pushed the thoughts to the side for the time being and, giving a great heave with his mind, the wall fell and he was in. Flashes of memories passed before his mind. Harry talking to Mr. Brasse about something, though it seemed important, Harry going through boxes of papers at Gringotts with one of the goblins, Harry standing in a vast but empty room that seemed to go on forever, wind whipping around him as though Harry himself were controlling it.

The walls again were forced back up and Severus came back to himself. He opened his eyes and saw that, this time, Harry had stayed standing, though he was rocking slightly as though that same wind he had seen in the flash of memory was again blowing around him.

"You did well, again, but I think you got distracted with something and lost your hold. I think right now you need more work on holding the walls up while still letting thoughts pass through. That is the hardest part to concentrate on, thinking while remaining aware of what's going on around you as well as keeping others out as you do it. I want you to work on keeping your walls up while going about your everyday activities. Once I think you have grasped the basic concept I will start to test you at random times through out the day. I won't try to stay in your mind for long if I do break into it, but you still need to learn how to shut someone out after they have broken in, you still are lacking there. You do well holding the walls and reinforcing them, it's just that when someone does get through you get discouraged and it takes longer to dispel the person then it should. We will start working on that next lesson. I, by no means, want you to just let me in your mind. I want you to fight, but if I do get in I want you to work on getting me back out as fast as you can so that I only gather a little information." Harry nodded his head.

"Well I think our time for tonight is about done, I just need to go over the other lessons with you. Normally we will be meeting for these lessons Saturday and Sunday starting at noon and then ending at curfew or even after, there will be one subject before dinner and then one after. Bring that blasted clock with you in case the lessons runs into overtime." Harry nodded again but said nothing as Severus went on talking. "This week all I want you to do is look up potions, spells, and even a bit of the dark arts that you would like to know the most. We will still do others, but I want you to make me a list of what you want to learn most so that we can get that done as soon as we can because we never know when the Dark Lord will attack next." Harry nodded his head in agreement. He never knew if Voldemort would attack early on this year or at the end like all the rest. He did know that learning more about every type of magic would help increase his chances of winning against Voldemort whom had been doing magic for over fifty years. "Now your lesson plans will be broken down into the following; Saturday- starting at noon Defense Against the Dark Arts, dinner, and then Potions and Sunday- Charms at noon, dinner, and then Dueling. After every lesson I will give you what the next lesson will be about so you can look it up and write your essay about it so that it might better help you understand whatever it is we are doing that week. This week though, we are just going to be getting together on Saturday to discuss this list and you will have your first set of essays on what we decide what to start with." Harry nodded and started to gather his things for he had taken out parchment, quill and ink to mark down what he needed to do for the lesson. "If you are asked about any of these lessons make something up." Harry nodded again as he picked up his bag that lay beside him and turned to leave.

"Well, you are dismissed, take this." Severus wrote out a small note and handed it over to Harry who looked at him questionably. "It's a note for if Filch or any of the other teachers catch you out since it is passed curfew."

"Thanks you sir. Goodnight." Harry said quietly before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. Severus just looked on after him, thinking of how much the young man had changed in such a short amount of time. He sighed to himself before going to his room. He had much to think about before sleep would come.


A/N: Merry Christmas everyone!