Dating Habits of Wizarding College Students
Chapter 11 - Holland Park
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I own no portion
of the Harry Potter world, including Severus Snape.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> All characters and characterizations from the
world are property of JK Rowling.
Dianthus
are solely of my imagination, however.
I welcome comments
and reviews, including harsh criticisms and flames.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I may delete them after a time, to reduce my
personal embarrassment, but rest assured that I will read them and take any
appropriate statements to heart.
I cannot emphasize
enough that you must read Dianthus
Stories in order for this tale to make any sense at all.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> In fact, you’ll note that this is actually
part III – parts I and II are both contained in Dianthus Stories, so go read that one first.
Also, smut picks
up again in Chapter Twelve, if that’s what you’re looking for.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That’s perfectly fine.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But I say again you may be a bit confused
when you get there if you don’t slog through the chapters leading up to it.
*****
Chapter Eleven –
They walked separately
and in silence through the hotel lobby, and Snape motioned to the concierge for
a cab. He didn’t try to touch her as
y way waited, but when a cab finally pulled along the curb, he opened the car
door and bowed her inside.
“
“Home,” Dianthus
said angrily. The driver looked
questioningly at Snape in his mirror, which only added to her ire.
“
“Fucking men,”
Dianthus sneered, and she threw herself back on the seat.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Snape held onto the armrest rather than her
hand as they rode through the streets.
When the cab
reached what she assumed was the park, Dianthus refused to get out of the caspanspan
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You stay here,” she snarled, when Snape held
his hand out to her from the curb. “I
told you I was ready to go home.”
“Get out,” Snape
said coldly. She scuttled further away
from him along the seat. “Get out of the
fucking car, Dianthus,” he said threateningly, ducking his head and shoulders
in through the open door. She sneered at
him, and before she knew what was happening, he had grabbed her around the
waist with both hands and dragged her bodily from the cab.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Passersby looked curiously at them, but no
one intervened as she cursed him profusely.
“You bastard,” she
panted, jerking away from him and yanking her skirt down.
“Don’t you move,”
he said in a lethal voice. Dianthus
fumed with her arms tightly folded over her purse while he paid the cab driver,
and she looked pointedly away when Snape returned to her side.
“Sit on that
bench,” he said, pointing behind her. Dianthus
grimaced but did as he instructed. Snape
sat next to her and took her hand, tightening his grip when she tried to yank
it back. “You will tell me right now
what is wrong,” he said flatly.
“Why are we here?”
she said listlessly. The park was
beautifully manicured and seemed to be quite a hot spot for walking
couples. Dianthus followed one with her
eyes as they passed the bench hand in hand.
“Did you bring your Muggle fuck here, too?”
“God damn it!” he
exploded. “She was work, Dianthus!”
Dianthus stared at
him. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means I was working
as a Death-eater when I fucked her,” he said, his words as brutal as a slap in
the face. “She thought she was getting a
courteous, attentive lover, when she actually ended up getting something quite
different in the end.”
Dianthus thought
she might throw up. “Did you kill her,
Severus?” she whispered. She tugged her
hand from his; he didn’t try to stop her.
“No,” he said, so
quietly she could barely hear him. “I
didn’t.”
Dianthus breathed
through her nose for thirty seconds before saying, “But – but–”
“Please don’t ask
me anymore,” he said. “Please,
Dianthus.”
“I
can’t go on like this with you, Severus,” she whispered.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She didn’t know where the words came from;
they weren’t what she meant to say, but as soon as they were formed she knew
they were the truth.
Snape
started visibly, his body going as rigid as a board.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Dianthus, I’m begging you, don’t do this,”
he said hoarsely.
“I
want to know everything about you,” she said, tears running down her face
again. “I’m not talking about
women. I don’t give a fuck if you’ve
slept with a thousand other women. I’m
talking about you.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I want to know you.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And there’s too much you won’t tell me.”
Snape
braced his elbows on his knees and lowered his head to his hands.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I can’t, Dianthus.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I can’t tell you.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He looked despondently at her.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You would never want me to touch you again.”
“Tell
me something,” she begged.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Don’t I deserve that?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Tell me why you came back to Hogwarts.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Tell me why you’re not a Death-eater anymore.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Tell me what happened.”
“It’s
dangerous for you,” he whispered. “It’s
dangerous for you to know.”
“I
need something from you,” she said seriously.
“I need it, Severus.”
Snape
didn’t hesitate, though it seemed to cost him a great deal.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He lowered his head again and spoke in a
resigned voice. “I became a spy for
Dumbledore before the Dark Lord fell,” he said.
“I will do it again when the need arises.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I can’t tell you why I’m no longer a
Death-eater, because I am still a Death-eater, Dianthus.”
“But
– He-Who-Cannot-Be-Named is dead,” she breathed.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Harry Potter killed him.”
“The
Potter brat did not kill the Dark Lord,” said Snape quietly.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “He defeated him, yes, but he didn’t kill
him.”
“What
does that mean?” she said, growiore ore frightened with every word he spoke.
“It
means the Dark Lord will return, perhaps stronger than before,” Snape said.
“And
you are still one of his followers,” she said, shaking her head.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t believe it.
“Officially,
yes. At the moment, they’re all reeling
from the defeat of their master, but there are still many of them out there
awaiting his return. And I am considered
one of them. The Death-eaters accept me
as one of their own. When they meet, I
will join them.”
Dianthus
took a ragged breath. She was getting
clammy; she thought she might be going into shock.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Her head was spinning.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He was still a Death-eater.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She stared at him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You should have told me this before.”
“I
know.” He looked at her again, and his
eyes were anguished. “It would have made
a difference to you, and I knew it would have, but still I kept it from
you. I wanted you.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I wanted you to want me.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I told myself that I wouldn’t have to say
anything until much later. I hoped
against hope that I would never have to tell you.”
Dianthus
leaned back into the bench and closed her eyes.
She didn’t know what to do or what to say.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> For several long moments they sat in
silence. Finally she said the only thing
she could think of. “I love you,
Severus,” she said jerkily. “I love you
more than anything, more than everything.
More than I love myself.”
She
opened her eyes. He was staring at her,
still as a stone. She continued, “I
don’t know if this would have made a difference or not.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I guess it probably would have.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m sitting here, telling myself that it
should make a difference now.” She paused
and took another shuddering breath.
“That I should get up and walk away and never look back.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Tears dripped down her face and onto her
dress. “I don’t know what to do,” she
whispered miserably.
Snape
knelt before her, blatant desperation in his face.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He looked like a man whose existence was
shattering before his bewildered eyes. “Tell
me,” he pleaded, with his hands trembling slightly on her knees.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Tell me what I can do, Dianthus.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I would give anything not to have you look at
me as you are right now. I cannot change
what I feel for you. But I cannot be
something I’m not. You were the only one
of us who was untainted when we became lovers.”
The
intensity in his gaze was too much to bear.
Dianthus looked up at the night sky instead.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She thought of the pure-blood mania the
Death-eaters shared in common. “What
will the Death-eaters make of me?”
“I
– I don’t know,” he said uneasily. “I
don’t know what they would make of a witch born of Squib parents.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> That didn’t bode very well, but Dianthus
wasn’t sure she could deal with any further discussion on the topic, so she
took another tack.
“Can’t
you just tell Dumbledore you can’t do it anymore?”
“I
willingly gave Dumbledore my loyalty,” Snape said.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I am not going to withdraw if he needs me
again, Dianthus.”
“I
know,” she said softly. She looked down
at him. His face was ghostly white; he
looked younger suddenly, and much more vulnerable.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Her heart hurt for him, and for herself.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She sniffed loudly and Snape immediately
withdrew a kerchief from his jacket. He
wiped her tears and handed it to her to blow her nose.
Then
he stood up and turned away from her, obviously steeling himself
for the worst. “What will you do now?”
he said hopelessly.
She
laughed grimly. “I’ll tell you what I’m
thinking, Severus, how’s that? I’m thinking
that here’s one more fucking thing I can’t tell anybody.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Not that one more thing should make much of a
difference. I love you to my detriment,
and I have only one person I can tell how happy you make me, and how bloody angry
you make me.”
Snape Dianthus “That’s “Excuse “Hi,” “Dianthus,” “Now “Severus, He “I “You “I “You “I Snape “Kiss He “Dianthus,” Eventually They “Good “That’s “Close They “Well, He The “Undoubtedly She “Oh, Snape And But “Severus,” “Are “class=GramE>Don’t be an ass,” she laughed.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I – have – to – use – the – bathroom.” He “You “What “Did Snape “Oh, “Too “Yes, that must be it.”
hesitated, and then said slowly, “You could tell Erin and Martine.”stylso-sso-spacerun:yes'> He didn’t turn around, but his body relaxed minutely.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “That would make three pe.”
stood up, suddenly taken with a wild impulse.
“You know what, Severus? I think
I will. But that’s not good enough for
me right now.” She marched into the path
of a man and woman who happened to be passing.
“Hi,” she said, reaching out a hand to stop them.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> They looked politely confused.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “My name is Dianthus,” she continued, and she
pointed behind herself at Snape. “And
this is Severus. We are lovers, and have
been for a while. I love him.”
– that’s very nice,” murmured the woman, looking nervously at her friend.
us,” said Snape, hurrying up behind her.
Dianthus smiled at the strangers, moved out of Snape’s reach, and ran as
quickly as she could toward another couple.
she said.
Snape hissed, catching her arm. He hauled
her away from the bewildered pair and whispered, “Have you gone completely
insane?” “You’re freezing.”
that you mention it, I am.” As if in
response to their both having noticed, her teeth started to chatter.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Snape removed his jacket and helped her into
it, then stood rubbing her arms fussily.
Dianthus looked behind him:
another happy couple was approaching.
“Hi,” she called over his shoulder.
Snape dragged her back to the bench and pushed her down on it, holding
her in place with both hands.
this is Muggle London,” she said giddily.
“If I can’t say these things here, where no one gives a good goddamn
about me, where will I be able to say them?”
looked carefully at her. “You…love me,”
he said.
love you,” she said, louder than him.
want me.” This was said with some
incredulity.
want you,” she said, quieter.
don’t want me to go away and never come back.”
would hunt you down and kill you,” she assured him.
looked like the sun hisenisen on him after a year in the dark.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He stroked her face wonderingly.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Cara mia,” he said quietly.
me,” she said.
did, hesitantly at first, as if he wasn’t sure she was telling the truth.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She slid one hand around his neck and pulled
him closer to her, and he relaxed against her, sighing and drawing her tongue
into his mouth at the same time.
he breathed. “I love you.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She had thought she might hear the sound of
trumpets in the air when he finally said those three words, but there was
nothing like that that. And she didn’t
need anything like that. She already
knew he loved her.
Snape pulled away and rose from the bench, then held out a hand to her.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Let’s walk for a bit.”
walked in silence for a few minutes, until Snape stopped a man walking by
them. “Good evening,” he said.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “My name is Severus Snape, and this is
Dianthus Brandywine. I am in love with
her, and have been for some time.”
on you, mate,” said the man, grinning.
not what I said,” giggled Dianthus.
enough,” muttered Snape.
took a complete turn around the park and then Snape spied a horse and carriage
for hire. “Shall we?” he said, inclining
his head toward it.
we are here,” Dianthus said coolly,
before she took off like a shot toward the carriage, with Snape directly behind
her.
kept sending the driver around one more time.
Dianthus didn’t see much of where they were going, nor did she
care. Snape spent the entire ride making
his full appreciation of silk obvious. Unfortunately,
he pulled one of the earrings off between his teeth, and they had to fish down
the front of her dress for the backing.
He tried to convince her that the other backing had fallen down her
dress as well. She gave him a scathing
look before putting both earrings into her purse.
driver se com completely unaffected by their display; Dianthus supposed he must
get a lot of young, and probably not so young, lovers in his carriage.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Severus,” she whispered suddenly.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Do you think this is sanitary?”
it isn’t,” he said, sitting up. His hair
was disheveled – so was hers. The bobby
pins were gone, probably fallen on the floor of the carriage.
sat up, too, and hitched his jacket back around her shoulders. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Do you think we should just go home after
this time around?”
god,” he groaned. “I wish I’d taken you
home in the first place. At least we’d
already be there, and these fucking pants would have been off an hour ago at
least.” He ran one hand up her
thigh. “Can we go now, Dianthus?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I mean immediately?”
stopped the carriage and paid the driver.
Dianthus wondered if his Death-eater activities had paid for the trips
around the park, and the dress, and dinner, and the whole thing.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> But she resolutely put that thought out of
her mind. It didn’t matter.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She’d made her decision, and she was standing
by it.
she would floo over to Martine’s first thing…well, sometime the following
week. Obviously, she would need to
impress upon
only. Snape’s newfound generosity had
only been borne of his desperate desire to keep her, she was sure. style='mso-spacerun:yes'> And Dianthus guessed he wouldn’t want any
Durmstrang students, or anyone outside of her inner circle, to know just yet.
that would change, too, eventually.
Things would change.
she said very seriously, stopping him before he could hail a cab.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I have to go to the bathroom.”
you going to have another cry?” he said anxiously.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Because I’m fairly certain that I would have
to kill either myself or you, Dianthus, if you’ve changed your mind.”
sighed in relief. “There’s one over
here.”
didn’t answer me,” she said as they walked with their arms around each other, toward
the house at the southern end of the park.
are you babbling about now?”
you bring your Muggle fuck here?”
rolled his eyes. “No, I didn’t bring any
Muggle fuck here. Or any witch fuck,
either, for that matter.”
good,” she said contentedly. “Ooh,
Severus, don’t squeeze so hard. I really
do have to go to the loo.”
much wine,” he said knowledgably.