Angelica's Sorrow

CHAPTER TEN

Dawn peeked over the horizon as wind swept towards Hogwarts. Other locations requiring attention weren\'t as dire, hence the frequent return. Progress had been slow the last few days and the delay chaffed. Circumstances not pertaining to wind\'s efforts were at fault. Speed decreased as the goal neared. The quick path being taken around still fragile structures was reduced to a caress, patience was required this day.

Severus allowed Narcissa to take his arm as they walked out a side door. She had asked for a stroll in the early morning light. He suspected it was to take her mind from what was to come. Wind whipped hair rose to his face from her head and gave a brief scent of gardenia. The gust quickly died to a breeze and her hair withdrew.

\"When will you begin?\"

\"As soon as we return inside.\" His reply caused the hand to tighten it\'s grasp.

\"I don\'t know whether to keep you here as long as possible or hurry my steps.\"

Snape noted prominent, dark circles under her eyes. She appeared to have lost a considerable amount of weight as well.

\"What else is occurring, Narcissa? It\'s difficult to believe Draco\'s condition would contribute this much to your - careworn appearance.\"

\"Never much of a diplomat, were you?\" A smile twisted her mouth. \"At least you didn\'t say I looked like hell.\"

\"An insult was not intended. I am concerned and wish to know the reason.\"

\"Several things weigh heavily, Severus.\" She paused. \"It\'s not all Draco. The freeze on our accounts won\'t be released until they confirm Lucius\' death, therefore money is tight. I\'ve changed and doubled the wards around the estate, but being here has finally given me a full night\'s sleep. Fear of his retribution disturbs my slumber and dulls my appetite.\"

Narcissa stopped to admire one of Dumbledore\'s prized roses. Severus bent and broke the stem of the flower, giving it to her.

\"Don\'t worry about thorns. Albus has managed to persuade the roses to grow without them. If you require money, I can easily assist you, Narcissa. I have few expenses living here and still haven\'t touched what was left to me by my parents.\"

Her head dropped to smell the fragrance of the rose as they continued their walk.

\"I appreciate your offer and the time may come when it becomes necessary, but for now I have sufficient funds. I\'m just glad there are no more extravagant parties for Lucius to host. Of course, I should be grateful to them in a way. They were the means I used to squirrel away a modest sum. Between that and the amount the Ministry allows me to withdraw, survival is possible.\"

\"Lucius actually relinquished enough control to allow you to pay the bills?\" Snape sounded astonished at the implied contradiction in character.

Her release of musical laughter lightened his heart. \"No, I\'m afraid not. I made - well, shall we say, arrangements with a few of my trusted merchant friends to add a little to each bill presented for payment. They were quite sympathetic with my plight.\"

\"May I inquire why you wanted the money?\"

\"Well, I can\'t very well say I wanted for anything, now can I? Lucius was ever conscious of appearances. If I didn\'t change my wardrobe with every shift in fashion, he did. Everything for show, always the best, the newest. I - as soon as Draco was grown, I planned to leave him and I knew I would need at least some money.\"

\"Things were that bad between you?\"

\"The only time they could have been considered good was before Draco was born. After Lucius had an heir, I was delegated to the public side of his life. The ultimate, glittering ornament on his arm. My responsibilities and duties were clearly spelled out for me. Loving wife was not one of them. I\'ve lost track of how many mistresses he went through over the years.\"

\"He told you about them?\"

\"Not directly, no. He loved to watch me discover the clues. At first, I thought they were accidental, but in time I realized it was a form of slow torture he designed, just for me.\"

\"Bastard!\"

\"Yes, he was, wasn\'t he!\" Her laugh trilled forth again. \"Don\'t care so much, Severus. My love for him died a long time ago. I only continued to play the game so he wouldn\'t devise a new torture.\" She sobered. \"I couldn\'t take the chance it might involve Draco. As long as he thought I still cared, still loved him, it was enough.\"

\"My estimation of your intelligence increases with each new revelation, Narcissa.\"

Snape\'s admiration had indeed grown during their conversation. His worries over her welfare eased considerably. \"I know they haven\'t located him, but when he apparated from the battle field he was gravely wounded. Without immediate aid, his chances for recovery were slim. His wand hasn\'t been used since.\"

\"Until, when and if his body is found, I doubt I will find peace of mind.\"

Their shadows were growing shorter in the garden.

\"I need to go inside soon.\"

\"I know. May we sit for a moment? I have a question and before you answer I wish to be seated.\"

Severus led her to one of the benches and settled beside her.

\"What is it, Narcissa?\" He asked after a short period of silence.

\"I dread making a fool of myself.\"

She continued to study the rose, twirling the stem in her hand. Snape reached over with one hand, stilling the rose while the other hand gently raised her chin.

\"You are one of my oldest and dearest friends, Narcissa. I don\'t have many and treasure them accordingly. Ask your question before I have to leave.\"

\"What would you say - do you think you could ever again look upon me as more than a friend?\" She noticed a slight stiffening in his posture as the hand holding her chin dropped. \"I would guess that\'s a no.\"

\"I don\'t have an answer for you, Narcissa.\"

\'Bloody hell! How to explain without upsetting her?\'

\"I haven\'t exactly spent the last twenty years pining for you, but I can\'t say I don\'t love you. It\'s mellowed from passion into love for a friend. I do not know if a return journey is possible.\"

The worry emanating from him was evident and Narcissa allowed a gentle smile.

\"I wanted to know your answer, Severus, I wasn\'t declaring undying love. My feelings for you are the same. The last few months have made me wonder how my life might have been different if I\'d chosen you.\"

\"You wouldn\'t have Draco.\"

\"True.\"

\"I must go. Do you wish to remain here or accompany me?\"

\"I\'ll stay here. The breeze feels good after being shut in for so long. May I give you a kiss on the cheek for luck? Friend to friend.\"

He leaned forward as her hands rose to hold him. \'A butterfly,\' was his thought as her lips pressed a kiss on his cheek. Severus rose and held her hands once last time with a gentle squeeze.

\"Albus or I will contact you as soon as possible.\"

Narcissa watched as he turned and retraced their path. Friend or lover, he was a magnificently, complicated man.



\"Memoriola captivis corporeus transfundo.\"

Words spoken in a deep baritone generated a phenomenal power. Draco was on a raised cot with Severus\' left hand on his forehead. Snape\'s wand hand pointed into the enormous pensieve, feet and legs wrapped around a tall stool, allowing maintenance of the position. Severus was a living conduit for the stream of memories. No access was gained, but he could feel them flow up, over into the receptacle. Snape\'s arms and the back of his neck tingled in response.

Angelica had drawn herself up as small as possible, watching from the farthest corner. This wasn\'t the person the dark wizard desired. This was a boy, not a girl. Salazar\'s use of numerous spells left her leery. She would not approach while the spell wove its course. A distant tug on her senses. Was it the same one? Would it draw her back? Angelica\'s desperation to leave increased. The binding tightened, refusing to relinquish its hold.

Awareness of Angelica\'s building emotions caused a frown to appear between Snape\'s closed eyes. A change had occurred in the stream, but appeared only to be a steady thinning as if the end was near. He had no idea how long it had been, but would be heartily glad to move again. Severus had never been so completely, thoroughly bored in his entire life.

\'Can\'t even wave the damned wand to take out the cramp in my arm. Potions are clearly still superior, at least a book can be read, or a walk taken while they brew.\'

Shortly thereafter it was done. Severus slowly unwound his legs from the stool. He didn\'t dare stand yet, but contented himself by flexing and stretching. Before beginning the sifting he was going to demand a padded seat, his arse was totally numb. Snape stretched out a hand and felt for Draco\'s neck. A strong beat gave a measure of satisfaction, at least something was going right.

Snape slowly lowered his body and was glad of a hearty hold on the stool as deadened limbs initially refused cooperation. Grasping the rim of the pensieve, he forced his legs to move as pins and needles gave way to painful knots. A hot bath would be in order later, dinner was out of the question.

\"Why have you done this to the boy and not your obsession?\"

Snape paused for a moment, eyes narrowing at Angelica\'s question.

\"I would think that your apparent ability to read my thoughts would have answered that for you.\" Exhaustion was demanding, but the opportunity to learn more was paramount.

\"I draw my conclusions from visions of sorts, composed of feelings. I have no access to words from your mind.\"

Severus began his second trip around the rim, walking was less painful.

\"Did Salazar give you this ability?\" he inquired carefully, wanting to keep the contact active.

\"Anguish was the only thing he gave. Answer me.\"

\"I do this to help four people who are trapped inside their minds, Angelica. He was the one picked to participate at this stage.\"

\"How will robbing him of memories help?\"

Severus gauged the shift of emotion. \'Excellent, she\'s more curious than angry or sad.\'

\"We need access in order to find the cause. They will be returned whole and untainted. I have answered your questions, will you now answer mine?\"

Silence greeted him, \'Damn.\'

\"Angelica?\"

\"Yes, that is my name. Is that your question?\"

Laughter found its way out of his throat in tribute to her sarcasm. \"I wish I could see who is undoubtedly one of the more interesting people I have met in my life. No, that was not my question. When did you gain the ability to read emotion? It\'s not a common gift.\"

\"What do you mean, gift?\"

\"Please, answer me in turn.\"

\"It was always part of me. After Salazar ripped my body from me there was an increase in perception.\"

\"I see, that explains part of why your fourth child was a full witch. I\'m surprised you weren\'t. Very few witches or wizards can lay claim to being empathic. Why didn\'t you speak to Albus five years ago while he read the diaries?\"

\"The passage of time goes by unmeasured. As to why I chose not to speak? I resent the reminder of normal life, an intrusion upon what is left of me. Your plans angered me and broke my apathy, nothing more.\"

Severus looked at the ceiling. \"You must believe me, Angelica. I mean no harm. What you felt was my concern that I would be tempted to repeat Salazar\'s action. I was afraid for her, not planning.\"

\"My judgement is reserved. Trust does not - \"

Albus chose that moment to step through the fireplace causing her voice to retreat.

\"Four hours have elapsed, Severus. Was it successful?\"

Snape\'s annoyance abated with the reminder this interruption had been planned.

\"I believe so, Draco appears stable and the pensieve is approximately three quarters full. The decision not to use Sibyll or Molly has been vindicated. Theirs\' would surely have overflowed.\"

Blue eyes assessed the slow, stiff steps and the hand still holding the rim.

\"And your welfare?\"

\"I will survive, but admit to fatigue. Salazar must have had a great deal more stamina to withstand a full five hours.\"

\"He wasn\'t recovering from a major battle. I will summon Poppy to sit with Mr. Malfoy while you obtain some needed rest.\"

Severus nodded while moving toward the bathroom.

\"I plan a hot bath and then sleep. Do not wake me for dinner, Headmaster, unless you want someone to lose their head.\"

\"You haven\'t had lunch, Severus,\" Albus warned, \"I don\'t think Poppy will be pleased if you miss dinner as well.\"

\"Fine, a clear broth before bed. Make sure she understands I can\'t tolerate anything else. I don\'t feel the need for a lecture.\"

He shut the bathroom door behind him as Albus turned to the fireplace.


A/N - rough translation of spell - memories captured of the body transfer from vessel to vessel