The Diaries of Hermione Granger and Severus Snape

August 8, 2000 (Part Two)

 

I went back to my quarters that afternoon and researched. I
am going to bring Snape to his knees, he will beg me to give him release and
then I will make him wait some more. And I have created the perfect plan to
accomplish this. However, I must first finish the day from Hades. Remember, all
this occurred back on August 6.

 

So, I spent my afternoon in seclusion and silence. I even
planned to skip dinner, but I received a floo message from Dumbledore telling
me that my presence was required at dinner. I guess that means he had his three
orgasms. Merlin, I cannot believe I thought that, let alone wrote it down!

 

Anyway, I now find myself heading to the Great Hall for
dinner. I have not come in contact with anyone thus far, and I begin to wonder
if I am avoiding people or if they are avoiding me.

 

When I arrive in the dining hall, everyone else is already
there, even Severus. I find that I am still banished to the student’s table and
I quickly take my seat. Dumbledore asks me how I am doing. I respond that I am
fine. I return the question to him. He responds that he had an outstanding
afternoon, one that he has not experienced in these many years. I feel my eks eks turning red and I quickly turn to my dinner.

 

I once again eat my dinner in silence and prefer to listen
to the conversations around me. I hear Dumbledore and Minerva discussing how
long it took them to release the hex on them. So, not what I needed to hear.
Apparently, Dumbledore took an hour, while Minerva took 3 hours. Minerva then
began explaining that she figured she should enjoy it while she could. At this,
I told my mind to stop the images and for my ears to stop listening.

 

As usual, owl mail arrived at precisely 6:15! Typically, there are only a few owls when the students are not here, but tonight there are over
50 owls flying around the G Hal Hall. The owls dropped several letters and
packages to Dumbledore, but the majority of the owls were flying in a circle
over my head. A large, grey owl dropped a letter in my plate. I flipped it
over and saw the crest of Hogsmeade’s local Apothecary, so I opened it. Inside
was an invoice of my recent purchases, only I had not been to the Apothecary in
weeks. I quickly perused the invoice.

 

A deep foreboding feeling was building in my stomach. It was
confirmed with the drop of a package, a large, multi-pack box of tampons. My
face is scarlet, completely on fire. I guess Severus was still pissed about
the night before, because he was determined to have me on my knees. But no matter
how red my face may get, I will not crack. I reach for the box of tampons and
move them to the chair beside me.

 

I no more move the box off of my plate than another package
arrives. This time, I am the proud recipient of a tube of yeast infection crème.
I will not crack. I will not crack. I will not crack.

 

The crème is followed by several brightly colored bras
falling through the air. The matching panties are next. They fall on the table
all around me. By now, Sirius is having a serious coughing fit. I guess he
thinks no one can hear the laughter underneath all that coughing. Imbecile! Minerva
me me if everything is okay. I respond that I simply picked some things up in
Hogsmeade and decided to have them delivered. Her face tells me that she does
not believe me, but I smile at her again and she nods in acquiescence.

 

The next three owls bestow me with a collection of feminine
deodorant spray. At least I’ll smell good, no?



The box that followed was the Piece de Resistance! Two owls
flew by carrying an open box. They gracefully flew back around and dumped the
contents on me. Now, I was covered in condoms. Yes, I was adorned in
fluorescent colored condoms that had been charmed to play “I’m a Slave for
You.” Yep, you know what is coming next…

 

I am also, now, the proud owner of a concubine costume. It
floated through the air with such grace. Too bad, the owls draped it over my
head. This was followed by jeweto cto complete the ensemble. Apparently, the
Potions Master has a control issue too.

 

I will not fail. I will not fail. I will come out on top. I
will come out on top.

 

As I came out of my self-induced pep rally, I find Dumbledore
on the floor laughing. Sirius had tears streaming down his face he was laughing
so hard. He somehow regained enough composure to ask me if I was becoming
sexually repressed; and if I was, would I consider him as a possible outlet.
All the men, sans Severus, laughed at this. The women shook their heads in disgust.
For once, I was receiving “Girl Power” help; they understood it was so like a
man to take advantage of such a strenuous situation.

 

Seeing my distress, Madame Hooch, Minerva, and Professor Sprout
came down to my table. They kept their distance (I WAS still orgasmically
active), but told me that they would make sure the items got to my room
tonight. And, that it might be best if I finished dinner in my rooms. I said
that Dumbledore had said attendance to dinner tonight was required.

 

Minerva gave a great huff at this and turned to Dumbledore.
He was no longer laughing. In fact, one might say he had a guilty look on his
face. Minerva turned back to me, rolled her eyes then closed them and muttered
what sounded to be “that’s what I thought.” However, she recovered quickly and
looked at me with what can only be described as clear insight. Oh gods!
Dumbledore had requested me to be here on behalf of Severus’. It all madnse nse
now.

 

I could not be upset with Dumbledore. He was merely keeping
the peace by helping us both. However, Severus was another story all together.
It was time to take off the gloves and fight dirty.

 

Minerva and the other women must have noticed the glint of
determination in my eyes because they smiled at me. Not a regular smile; no,
one of those smiles that you know was caused by a very, evil thought.

 

“Hermione,” Minerva said, “We will persly mly make sure that
these items are brought to your room by, say, 9pm tonight.”

 

I responded with a grin and a wink. I left the hall.

 

I think you know what happened at 9pm that evening. My quarters were taken over by a female SWAT team. Plans were discussed, decided
upon and now, I am sitting here waiting to make my move. Tomorrow, I retaliate.