In the Lurking Darkness

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Severus screamed and thrashed about as a blade was pressed against his chest. Strong hands held his arms down so he began to kick as he fought for freedom. Suddenly a weight landed on his hips, pressing him down into soft grass. Through the thundering blood rushing through his ears, he could hear someone desperately calling his name, but the fear only brought more screams.

Severus suddenly found one arm released from it’s painful confinement, but before he could react, he felt a sting on his cheek. He gasped in shock as he was back-handed across the other cheek. His eyes snapped open and he struggled to focus on the familiar face looming over him.

“Wake up, Sev!”

He blinked several times as a cool hand gently caressed his hot cheek. The grip on his arm eased and the weight holding him down lifted slightly, while his chest continued to heave.

“Pot- Potter?” he stammered. “Harry?” His voice was low and uncertain as he tried to force his mind to comprehend what had happened. He placed his own shaking hand over the one on his face and stared up into worried green eyes.

“It’s okay, Severus. You were dreaming. You’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen to you,” Harry assured him gently.

Severus nodded slowly as the soft words registered in his dream clouded mind. He whimpered slightly when Harry removed his hand and carefully got off Severus’ sweat soaked body. As soon as he was free, Severus rose and shakily made his way to the bathroom, closing the door softly and leaving Harry sitting nervously on the bed.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to sooth his rattled nerves as he waited for Severus to return. He looked up sharply when he heard a clang from behind the closed door. He rushed over and knocked on it.

“Severus? Are you all right?”

He waited several moments, then finally opened the door. Severus stood naked in front of a full length mirror staring at his reflection, at his feet lay an old fashioned metal hair brush. Harry watched closely, curiously, as Severus traced the tips of his fingers over his chest, a look of wonder and inquisitiveness on his flushed face, as though he was trying to piece together a difficult puzzle.

“Severus? What is it?”

“There was writing…” Severus cocked his head to the side for a moment, then suddenly he took a deep breath and shook his head. He turned away and stepped into the shower, ignoring Harry.

“Do you need help?” Harry asked softly, watching Severus closely.

“No, thank you,” Severus responded simply as he started the water.

Harry sat on a small stool and continued to watch the older wizard. He felt strangely comfortable, even while watching his professor cleansing himself of the nightmare sweat that coated his pale skin. He noticed the calm that had come over Severus and couldn’t help worrying about the sudden change. The fact that he didn’t even acknowledge Harry’s presence in the bathroom served to worry him further.

The lost, frightened shell of a man he had been caring for seemed to have vanished, leaving only a ghost behind. There seemed to be no fear left, but nor was there hope, or light from within him. There was nothing at all but a blank, cold face. Harry shook his head sadly as he reached for a large soft towel, which he held out as Severus stepped out.

Harry helped Severus dry off and wrapped a warm robe around his bony shoulders. Severus said nothing, letting Harry help, swaying slightly on his feet. Harry guided him into the sitting room and onto the sofa. He thought perhaps this would be the best time to try to get Severus to talk.

“Severus, why are you afraid of the dark?” he asked gently. Severus’ eyes focused inward and for a moment Harry was certain he wasn’t going to get an answer.

“It’s not the dark that bothers me… It’s… It’s the absence of light. Can’t let the light go out…” Severus spoke almost too softly for Harry to hear and his face began to cloud over, tears glistening in his eyes.

“Don’t let the light go out?” Harry asked, but Severus’ jaw was clenched tight. “Can you tell me about your dream?”

“It was…” Suddenly, Severus’ breathing began to quicken and his slack face tensed up and took on a look of deep fear. A knock on the door, shook Severus back to the present. He answered the door and blinked at Minerva McGonagall blankly.

Minerva tried to give an encouraging smile, but Severus looked so frail and beaten that she couldn’t manage more than a tight-lipped grimace.

“Good morning, Severus. How are you feeling?” she asked kindly.

“Fine. What do you want?” Severus replied blandly. He couldn’t even muster up any anger at the motherly intrusion.

“Well, I’ve been doing some research into dark transfigurations, looking for counters in case the Dark Lord tries to use them, and well… You wouldn’t happen to have, or know where to find… ‘Verto Fatum Tabula’, would you? It was supposedly written by Salazar Slytherin himself.”

Severus thought for a moment. He recognized the title, which translated to Transform Destiny Tablet. He thought she might be correct about the author, as well.

“I believe I can find you a copy. I will bring it to your office later today,” he said, starting to close the door.

“Oh, thank you, Severus! I-“ Minerva huffed indignantly as the door was shut in her face.

Severus turned and looked at Harry, who had been watching him closely. He sighed and walked over to one wall that held several torches in sconces around a large mirror. He pulled out two and lit them before holding one out to Harry.

“Come on, Harry. You can help me find it,” he said simply as he moved toward the door. Harry gave him a quizzical look, but followed.

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