Triumph Out of the Bitter Taste of Ashes

Rilla: Yeah, I kinda feel sorry for \'em too, and *I\'m* the one putting them through it. lol
Andrian: I\'ll take that as a compliment, thank you. : ) And only time will tell, but that\'s certainly the way it seems.
Deb: Agreed! Thanks. And, um, here you go. lol
AnaNg: well, don\'t know if this *really* takes care of the cliffy or not, but here\'s the next chapter. : )
Zephyr: You\'re wish is my command . . . this time. LOL And I\'m always open to offers. ::smirks::
Geekgoddess: Really? I\'m glad I could hold out a surprise or two. : ) And the answer to your question has been hinted at, but Chapter Eleven and Twelve go into that in a bit more detail.

I\'m currently stuck on first drafting chapter 14. It\'s just *not* going. So I\'m starting it over from a different POV, hoping that will work better.

QUESTION: Y\'all have got a choice, since the writing (at least at the moment has slowed a little). I\'m currently only 3 chapters ahead in first drafts. If I continue posting the way I have been, I\'ll probably be caught up in 2 days. After that there may be spaces of a day or two between chapters when I hit rough patches. Would you all rather that, or a guarantee of one a day for at least the next week? Let me know which you\'d like. I\'ll be happy to continue posting the way I have been if that\'s what the majority want.

Chapters 10 through 12 heavily feature Draco; though, only one of these chapters is from Draco\'s POV.

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Chapter Ten
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Ron stared at the suddenly empty main hall, blinked. **Hermione\'s alive!** He grinned, frowning immediatelyer. er. What the hell was she screaming about? \"Come on, Draco. I\'m going to find out if she\'s going to be okay.\"

When he got no response, Ron turned and gasped. Draco was just standing there, way too pale, and shaking so hard Ron could see it. Now torn between checking on Hermione and the immediately problem in front of him -- neither of which he understood in the slightest -- he stepped closer to Draco, laying a hand on the blond\'s shoulder.

Draco jumped, then swallowed so hard Ron swore he looked like he was trying to swallow his adam\'s apple. \"Why?\"

Ron frowned. **Why what?** \"I don\'t know why she screamed like that, mate,\" he replied, glancing the direction everyone had disappeared. \"I guess--\"

\"No!\" Draco shouted, jerking away. \"Why does he ruin *everything*?\"

Okay, he admitted it. He didn\'t know what on earth Draco was talking about. He *really* wished there was a professor around. \"Who, Draco?\"

\"My *father*!\" Draco spat.

Opening his mouth to reply, Ron shut it again without saying anything. **Huh?** \"Draco, I hate to break it to you, but your father can\'t ruin anything,\" he said finally, really not sure what else to say.

Draco didn\'t respond, moving away so fast he was almost running.

\"Draco! Where are you going?\"

\"Out!\" Draco snapped without breaking stride. \"I\'m not discussing this where anyone can overhear.\"

**Where are all the bloody professors?** Ron wondered frantically. At this point, he\'d even be thankful to see Professor Snape. \"Wait up,\" he shouted, darting after Draco. Just as they reached the front door, Ron thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye, but when he jerked his head around there was no one there.

Draco didn\'t wait for him, but didn\'t object to his presence when he caught up.

Ron didn\'t say anything, he just fell into step beside his confusing friend. They hadn\'t been friends long, and Ron didn\'t have any known words of comfort. He hoped his quiet presence would be enough to help. It had been for Hermione when she was upset, and despite his joke earlier, he\'d discovered the the last few months that Draco had more in common with Hermione than he\'d probably ever be willing to admit.

As soon as they were outside, Draco\'s urgent stride slowed to a normal walk, and Ron was grateful. He hadn\'t been looking forward to ra all all over Hogwarts\' grounds. They didn\'t talk, just walked, stopping every once in a while as Draco seemed to scan the horizon. Ron was pretty sure he was looking to make sure no one else was around; though, Ron wouldn\'t have wanted to swear to it.

Just when he was beginning to think he\'d taken the wrong track with Draco, the blond spoke suddenly, the subject wasn\'t what he expected however. In fact he didn\'t see how it applied.

\"Everything is so different now,\" Draco offered quietly, folding himself to sit on the ground facing the lake.

\"Yeah, it is, Draco,\" Ron replied, not sure what else to say. He wasn\'t exactly a counselor. Quite the opposite, he was the one who always ended up with his foot in his mouth, invariably saying the one thing to make everything worse. He was scared he was going to do it now, too. He was so worried about Hermione, and on top of that worried about Harry, who\'d been so withdrawn for the last two weeks, and now, Draco was acting strangely.

\"After *it* first happened, everyone was so quiet, so careful. No one dared say the least thing wrong, and when anyone laughed, they felt bad about being able to.\"

Ron nodded in understanding. \"Yeah. It\'s like there was this feeling of how can we laugh when things are so bad.\" **What\'s that got to do with what\'s bothering you?** he added silently, frustrated. He felt the incredible urge to just ask outright what pro problem was, but didn\'t dare. Draco could still be so . . . prickly sometimes. If he asked, and it was the wrong thing to do, or if asked in the wrong way, Draco would never open up to him, he\'d just bury it all inside.

\"Now, things are finally starting to settle. Even the little kids are starting to act like kids again.\" Draco smiled a tiny rueful smile. \"And no, I never thought I\'d be worried about things like that.\"

Ron sighed. This was as bad as the day they\'d talked about Crabbe anyle.yle. He\'d been just as lost then, just as unable to understand what was really wrong. He had the sneaking suspicion that he\'d stay just as lost this time in finding out what the *real* problem was.

He tentatively reached out and grasped Draco shoulder, giving as much comfort as he thought the blond would allow.

Shuddering, Draco let out a sound of disgust. \"I feel so bloody . . . *guilty*, and I don\'t like it!\" he snapped. He jerked his head around to glare at Ro\"Ho\"How do you make it stop?\" he demanded.

Ron\'s eyes widened. \"You\'ve never felt guilty before?\" he asked, not able to keep all the shock he felt out of his question.

Wincing, Draco shook his head. \"Not until recently.\"

Ron hesitated, knowing that somehow, now, they were finally getting to the root of what was bothering Draco, and *knew* he was going to mess this up somehow. He shrugged helplessly. He\'d felt guilty about so many different things and gotten over it, but he had no clue about *how* he had. He just had. \"It might help,\" he suggested hesitantly, \"if I knew what you\'re feeling guilty *about*. I mean, seems to me, you haven\'t done anything . . . recently . . . to feel that way.\"

\"I\'m worried.\"

**Okay, that helped muddy the waters. Let\'s try for some clearing.** \"There\'s a lot to be worried about,\" he offered quietly. **Could I get any more lame?**

Draco shot to his feet, hissing in annoyance. \"I\'m worried about *me*!\" he shouted, disgust clear in his voice. \"People are dead. Others mutilated. Others gone completely round the bend. And . I\'m . Worried . About . Me!\" Draco dropped back to the ground, refusing to look at Ron. \"I\'m supposed to worry about me. It\'s what I waoughought up to do. It\'s the smart thing to do. But right now, I hate it. Compared to a lot of people, I\'ve got it great. Even if--\"

**Oh!** \"Even if?\" Ron prodded, clenching his entire body tightly to prevent himself from pushing too hard.

Dropping his head onto his knees, Draco muttered beneath his breath. \"Even if I do lose mmff.\"

\"Lose what, Draco?\" Ron asked scooting forward. \"What are you afraid of losing?\"

\"You know, I\'ve never really had a friend before,\" Draco said suddenly, sitting all the way back up. He still didn\'t look at Ron, though.

**Oh.ch. ch. OH! Wow.** \"Not to make all sorts of assumptions here, Draco, but, umm, just in case, I\'m a pretty hard friend to shake.\"

\"I think my father\'s the whe who hurt Hermione,\" Draco said flatly, almost daring Ron to make something of it.

\"What?!\" Ron shouted angrily, jumping to his feet.

Draco flinched and closed his eyes.

**I\'m such a prat!** Ron thought instantly. He wanted nothing more than to rant and scream and shout and just plain stomp his fin rin rage. He slumped, and found himself on the ground without making a conscious decision to sit down. \"Because of the way she screamed when she looked at you,\" he said flatly, his volume *very* carefully controlled. He knew his temper. He\'d better; it had certainly gotten him into enough fixes. If he didn\'t work very hard at it, he went kinda berserk sometimes, acting without thinking at all.

Part of him wanted that right now. It wanted him to launch himself at Draco, the living representation of all that had hurt Hermione. Yes, he believed Draco was right. It made sense. He didn\'t know how he did it, but he managed *not* to lash out.

Draco nodded. \"He was there that night, you know.\"

Ron stayed silent, clamping iron control on his anger.

\"From what I could piece together, Professor Snape is the one who killed him.\"

Ron moaned, and was startled to find Draco suddenly looking his direction, slate grey eyes boring into his, a sad question lurking in their shadows.

\"How can you stand being around him?\" Ron asked in a hushed whisper.

\"What do you care?\" Draco demanded harshly. \"You hated him.\"

\"Yes, I did, Draco,\" Ron admitted, \"but I care about you.\"

Draco\'s expression turned incredulous.

\"Look, you\'re right,\" Ron retorted defensively, just as if Draco had called him a liar. \"I didn\'t like him, enough said on that. For all I know he was the best dad imaginable.\"

Draco coughed, or maybe it was snorted, Ron didn\'t know for sure. All he did know, was that whatever it was, it sounded like a very clear \'not in this universe\' to him.

\"Or maybe the worst ever,\" Ron went on, hurriedly rushing to his next point before Draco could take exception, \"Or maybe he was like most dads, good at some things, bad at some, and a complete embarrassment in other things.\"

Draco chuckled, and Ron wilted in relief. Finally, he\'d said something right.

\"What I do know, is that he was your father. He was family. And that\'s gotta hurt once everything\'s said and done. And *that\'s* why I care.\"

\"Yes.\"

\"Hurts?\"

Draco nodded, eyes surprisingly filling with tears.

**Oh Merlin! What do I do now?**

The tears silently spilled dois cis cheeks and Draco angrily wiped them away.

Ron, terribly sure he was doing the wrong thing, reached out and roughly pulled Draco into a hug. It\'s what he would have wanted, and he dearly hoped Draco would too. Draco stiffened immediately, but Ron didn\'t release the blond. He would have protested at first too. It was a guy thing.

He was about to let go when Draco suddenly quit pushing against him, every muscle in his body seemingly relaxing at once. It was followed seconds later by shaking sobs, muffled as Draco buried his head in Ron\'s shoulder.

Before he realized what he was doing, Ron was rocking back and forth slowly, murmuring soft nonsense, and just letting Draco get it all out. By Merlin, though, he wanted to make Draco laugh instead of cry. He wasn\'t sure he could handle this. He wanted to make some stupid, inane quip and just make the pain go away.

\"I hated him!\" Draco said, not moving from his position.

\"It\'s okay,\" Ron replied, hoping he was right. It was followed by a very long silence, broken only by the normal daytime sounds, and Draco\'s quiet weeping.

\"I miss him.\"

**Oh, Merlin! I\'m *so* out of my h heh here!** He wanted to jerk away and ask Draco how he could possibly miss him. He didn\'t -- but he didn\'t know how he managed it.

\"I know,\" he replied instead.

\"He was a first-class bastard, and I miss him.\"

\"Of course you do,\" was the only answer Ron c com come up with. A bloke missing his father was as natural as breathing, or so it seemed to him. Ron couldn\'t even begin to imagine how torn up he\'d be if it had been *his* dad that had died. It would seem like nothing would every be right again. It was bad enough that-- He cut off that train of thought immediately. If he didn\'t, neither one of them would be coherent.

In time, Draco quieted, and their rocking slowed to a stop, the hand Ron had been absently rubbing soothingly across Draco\'s back stopped moving even as Ron realized he\'d been doing it.

Draco shrugged out of his hold uncomfortably, his flushed cheeks tracked with tearstains. \"Sorry \'bout that,\" he mumbled, looking away.

\"S\'okay,\" Ron replied dismissively, \"what eare are friends for?\"

Draco looked back im tim then, wearing an expression Ron couldn\'t decipher. After a long moment Ron\'s heart skipped a beat in his chest. There was something . . . compelling about the way Draco was sitting, looking at him. His mouth not completely closed, the way he tilted his head, it all seemed . . . familiar somehow. It almost looked like-- Before he realized he was doing it, Ron leaned forward.

**Oh bloody hell, Ronald Weasley, what do you think you\'re doing?! He\'s going to kill you! He\'s going to chop you up into tiny little pieces and leave you in Snape\'s lab to be used in potions.**

Staring at Draco\'s suddenly irresistible mouth, Ron didn\'t miss the pink tongue tip that darted out to moisten lips, and he desperately wanted to capture it with his own mouth. Then, his mouth brushed across Draco\'s, the blond\'s lips pliant and responsive beneath his. He moaned, low in his throat, Draco\'s active participation sending a jolt of arousal shooting through him. He\'d expected death and was getting a piece of heaven instead.

Shaking, he pulled back, his eyes darting immediately up to Draco\'s. \"Oh my!\" he whispered even as Draco raised a trembling hand to his own mouth as if to make sure it had really happened.

The overly loud *crack* of a dried branch snapping, had both of them jerking their heads around at the sound. They scrambled hastily to their feet as they located the source.

Ron blushed fiercely. \"Professor Snape!\" he squeaked, thankful to hear Draco\'s surprised greeting hadn\'t sounded any less shaken than his. He and Draco were out in the open. The Professor *had* to have seen what just happened, and Ron was now absolutely positive it was possible to die of embarrassment. He didn\'t dare look over at Draco to see how he was reacting.

\"Mr. Weasley,\" Professor Snape replied drily, his mouth twisted into a knowing smirk that did nothing but heighten Ron\'s mortification at having been caught. \"Mr. Malfoy.\"

**Please ground, open and swallow me right now!** Ron begged silently.

\"Leave, Mr. Weasley,\" Professor Snape said sternly, not even looking in his direction.

Ron hesitated, casting a helpless, apologetic glance to Draco, and wilted in relief when he saw understanding in the pale face. \"Later, Draco,\" he said quickly, darting out of the danger range as fast he could.

TBC
Kiristeen
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