Lions, Snakes, and Traitors, Oh My.

DEAR READERS: I AM SO, SO SORRY that it has taken me this long to post another chapter.  To be honest, I've had so much going on the past few years (including finishing a Bachelor's in History) that I lost interest in writing outside of classes altogether.  But the muse has struck me again and here we are.  Another chapter will be posted soon.  ENJOY!

Chapter Ten

The pathetic form collapsed in front of Voldemort and kissed his bare feet gratefully after finally being released from the Crucio curse.



“You will bring her to me—alive!  No more excuses!  You have failed me for the last time.”



“Yes, Master.  I am deeply sorry.  Please forgive me.  I will not fail again.”



“I expect Harry Potter’s Mudblood friend at my feet the next time we meet, or I’ll see to it that you have an agonizingly slow and painful death.”



“Yes, Master.”



“Be gone.”



“As you wish, Master.”

_____



Hermione hadn’t slept well in days.

 

The NEWTs were upon her in mere hours, and with their completion, the promise of sexual and emotional exploration with Professor—Severus—Snape.  

She’d never been so torn in all her life.  What would a relationship with him mean?  What would happen to her friendships with Harry, Ginny, and Ron?  

Snape was the most-hated man at Hogwarts, by more than just the Gryffindor population whose house points suffered when he doled out punishments.  He wasn’t exactly liked by many of the staff, either, although most respected him.  Those within the Order who knew of his sacrifices and loyalties might not support their relationship but at least they wouldn’t accuse him of being a Death Eater.



Or, would whatever they shared be hidden away?  Ginny and Dumbledore already knew of their previous encounters, but no one else did.  Perhaps he’d want to keep it that way.  



Maybe he’d change his mind altogether?  



What if Voldemort found him?  What if he died?



His life was in danger, and the safest place for him was at Hogwarts, where the Order’s members were numerous as were the wards protecting the school.  

The weight of exams and the uncertainty of what was to come in nearly every avenue of her life—it was almost too much to bear.  Regardless, the NEWTs began and as she scribbled her name onto the fresh parchment in front of her, she barely registered that soon she would be a graduate of Hogwarts, which for most, was a cause for celebration instead of worry.

______



When she finished, she trod to the Great Hall, where she found Ron and Harry having lunch along with the rest of the houses.  Some of the students were obviously distressed, having found out their results from the NEWT testing.  Others were cheering.



Ron and Harry, like many others, opted not to take the NEWTs, and so they had been studying for their normal classes in the interim.



“So, how did you do?” Ron asked her through a mouthful of pudding, as she piled a salad onto her plate.



“I exceeded all expectations.”



“That’s great, Hermione!” Harry squeezed her shoulder.



“I wish I could owl my parents.”



“They’ll be okay.  I’m sure Dumbledore’s already told ‘em,” Ron put his hand on her other shoulder.  “I miss my mum and dad too.”



“Thanks, Ron.” 



Just then, Snape strode into the Hall.  He had regained his strength fully in the past week, and was back to his old surly self, handing out detentions and deducting house points like he hadn’t nearly died.  But Hermione could see the stress in his eyes.  She knew he was suspicious of every student and faculty member that walked by him.  He wasn’t normally a paranoid man, but with the revelation that no member of the Order had betrayed his true loyalties was alarming and he was on edge.  Anyone else looking at him would have just assumed he was irritated with everyone and everything, perturbed as per usual. Hermione knew better.



His eyes scanned the room, and landed on hers.  He raised an eyebrow as he passed the trio and continued walking to the head table where he began eating his lunch while reading a text Hermione couldn’t identify. 



“What was that about?” Harry questioned.



“I’m sure I’ve no idea,” Hermione answered a bit too quickly.



Harry and Ron exchanged glances behind Hermione’s back and shrugged.  They talked about inanities while they finished their lunches, when a thought crossed Hermione’s mind and she suddenly felt the need to find Dumbledore.



In a lowered voice, she said to them, 



“I’m going to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore.  The other students will be leaving soon to go home for the summer.  Obviously, we can’t.  I assume we’ll have work of some sort to do, anyhow.  I’ll see you two later.”



Before they had a chance to respond, she rushed off.  She hadn’t noticed that Snape was no longer in the Hall.

_____



Elevated voices greeted her as she walked up the steps.

_____

“Severus, you cannot possibly be thinking that leaving Hogwarts is a good idea!”



“I am putting the school and her students in danger every moment I remain in this castle.”



“You are no more putting them in danger than any member of the Order who remains at Hogwarts is, myself included!  You’ll be killed for sure if you leave the grounds!”



“Minerva, please spare me your concern  We all know if I dropped off the face of the earth, no one would notice.”



McGonagall sputtered at this, and opened her mouth to retort, but Dumbledore raised his hand.



“Please, enough, both of you.  Severus, Minerva is right.  I implore you to remain here until we know who betrayed the Order.  You know as well as I do that it is not wise to leave the grounds; Voldemort will do all he can to find the whereabouts of other Order members and use you to get to Harry.  Miss Granger, you may enter.”



Snape and McGonagall spun around to find Hermione opening the door.



“Professors, Headmaster…I am so sorry to interrupt.  I can come back later.” 



“Nonsense.  Please take a seat.”  Dumbledore greeted her, hands gesturing to an oversized chair.  She sat down, immediately uncomfortable.  The giant cushions seemed to be sucking her in and she struggled to sit up straight.  



“You’ve passed your NEWTs with Exceeds Expectations.  I believe congratulations are in order.  I’ve sent word to your parents.  They are with the Weasleys and wanted me to tell you they love you and are so very proud, as are we all.”



Hermione blushed as she finally found a comfortable position.



“Thank you, Headmaster.  But…I wanted to know…”



“If you would be joining your parents?”



“Yes.”



“In time, yes.  For now, the Order maintains that the best place for you, Harry, and Ron, is within the walls of Hogwarts.”



“Did the Order decide that was the best place for me as well?” Snape sneered.



“Severus, if you truly wish to leave, you know no one can stop you.  But you have to think of the consequences if you are found.”



“I daresay I’ve prepared for being captured, Albus.  I won’t live long enough to be tortured for information, if that’s what you’re concerned about.  We are getting nothing accomplished by me staying here—in addition to the threat my presence poses.  Whoever betrayed the order will not be sussed out by watchful waiting.”



Hermione gasped at Snape’s mention of suicide.  He turned to look at her, as if really seeing her for the first time she’d entered the room.  



His voice softened slightly.



“Come now, Miss Granger.  You can’t be shocked that I’ve contemplated suicide.  Who wouldn’t at the hands of the Dark Lord?” 



McGonagall threw her hands up in the air.



“This is utter ridiculousness.  You are being selfish, Severus.  Sacrificing yourself won’t help the greater good.  We need you.” Minerva snapped. 



Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in exasperation.



“Minerva is right.  We need all the help we can get,” Dumbledore added.



“I refuse to be treated like a prisoner or worse, a child.  I’m leaving tonight and that’s the last I’ll hear on the subject.”



“Professor Snape, if I may…”



“Miss Granger, you may not.  This isn’t a subject up for debate.”



Hermione’s face turned beet red.  She leapt from her chair, hair wild and eyes on fire.



“I’m not a child either, Professor, and I have a right to speak!”



His eyes narrowed and he clenched his fists, resisting the urge to shout.



“Go on, Miss Granger.” Dumbledore encouraged her.



“Professor Snape,” she began, her voice growing more calm and steady by the moment.  She raised her hand to stop him from objecting, surprising everyone in the room.  “You may have a distorted image of yourself, but the rest of us understand your knowledge, expertise, and skills are needed if we are to stop Voldemort.  Harry can’t do this without you.  None of us can.  Surely, you realize that?  Surely, you want the Order to succeed.  Surely…you realize your life is worth more than what he would reduce it to.”  



“Guilt, Miss Granger?  I thought you were above that tactic.”



“It’s not guilt, it’s the truth.  Please stay.  Stay, at least for the time being.”



Snape’s stance relaxed, though his arms were still crossed over his chest.



“Miss Granger is wise beyond her years, Severus.  And, she’s right.” McGonagall smiled, knowing she’d won.



He sighed.  If he had been about twenty years younger and had half of the ego he possessed in his youth, he’d have rolled his eyes.  Instead, a scowl marred his features.



“Headmaster, what can I do to help right now?”



“That’s very kind of you to ask, Miss Granger.  Keep your eyes and ears open for anything out of the ordinary, and report anything odd to one of the Order members.  In the meantime, helping Professor Snape replenish healing potions for Madame Pomfrey would be most helpful.  We need to be prepared for any situation that might befall us.  Severus, you and Minerva are aware that Voldemort’s followers are gaining, and there is increasing talk of attacking Hogwarts.”



“And Potter?  Weasley?” Snape drawled.



“They will be working with the other students who are members of the Order on spellcasting.  And if time permits, they’ll assist you with potions.”



“Bloody fantastic.”



“I’m afraid you’ll have to agree you’ve been defeated, Severus.”  Albus smiled knowingly. 



“Bloody infuriating.” Snape muttered. 



He ignored all of them as he swept down the steps, past Hermione and to the door, slamming it shut behind him.



“In all my years of working with Severus, I believe this is the first time he’s ever listened to reason.” McGonagall mused.



“Well, this is the first time in a while he’s been faced with how much he matters.  I believe we have Miss Granger to thank for talking some sense into him.”



“Oh, certainly.”



McGonagall and Dumbledore stood, looking at Hermione expectantly.



She shifted on her feet and stood uncomfortably for a moment before politely excusing herself from the room, missing the smile exchanged between the two elder wizards as she rushed to catch up with Snape.

____



“Professor!  Please wait.”  Hermione sprinted until she was beside Snape.



“Leave me be, Granger.  I’m not in the mood for discussing my personal life any more with you, or anyone else.”



“Will you just stop?  I need to talk to you!  Please!”

He did stop suddenly and caught her by surprise, grabbing her wrist and dragging her to the right, into a darkened corner.  He stood, towering over her with arms on either side of her body.  She was trapped.

Defiantly, she met his eyes, barely visible in the darkness.



“All right, I’ve stopped.  So, just what do you think you were doing in there?”



“I’ve finished my NEWTs, as you heard.  I’m no longer a Hogwarts student, officially.”



“That is not an answer to my question.”



“Why would you leave now?  Why?” 



Snape let out an exasperated sigh. 



“If you’re implying that I’m leaving to avoid a relationship with you…”



“No.  I’m implying that you truly believe your life is worthless and you think you’ve nothing to contribute to the cause.  And by that token, you don’t think you deserve a relationship with anyone.  Please don’t think me so childish.  We have so much to do and we have a responsibility to stop Voldemort.  So many people are depending on the Order…on us.  But yes, I do care that you thought so little of me as to even consider my feelings, just a bit.  I was trying to make you see that you matter!”



A bitter laugh escaped him and echoed against cold stone walls.

 

“I’m not long for this world, girl.  Your feelings aren’t going to fix that.  I don’t have the luxury or the time to worry about whether or not I matter.  Surely you don’t think you’ll be the one to somehow make me see that I do, after all these years.”

“Gods!  You do matter!  Why can’t you just accept that?  Isn’t it obvious after the discussion you had tonight?  Look at how the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall care for you!”

“Enough!”  He slapped the wall for emphasis, beside her head.  “I’m done arguing with you.  We may have been in a position to explore whatever was happening between us at one point in time, but things have changed since we last spoke.  It won’t be long.  It’s coming, the war.”



“I’m aware.  And I might die, too.  Have you ever considered that?”



“So why in the name of Merlin would you want to spend your last moments with me?”



“Because I like you, and I’ve missed you, abrasive as you are.”



He leaned in and his mouth brushed her ear as he whispered lowly, “You like me.  You have missed me.  How sweet.  Miss Granger, why do you insist on being insufferable?  Gods, you try me.”



She shivered then, goosebumps rippling across her arms and the back of her neck as his warm breath tickled her skin.



“You’re not exactly a walk in the park either.”



“You’re almost eighteen years old.  I’m approaching forty.”



“Haven’t we been through this already?”



His voice bit harshly into her ear.  He couldn’t yell at her for fear of passersby hearing their conversation, but he made it clear he was irritated. 



“And we’ll go through ‘it’ again, until I get it through your seemingly impenetrable skull that I am not someone you can save, or mould into a better person!  I will never be someone you can show off to your friends.  They will hate you for being with me, and they’ll never believe you chose me of your own volition. Whatever idealistic world you’ve imagined cannot happen.”



She hissed back into his ear with just as much irritation and passion.



“What I ‘imagine’ is far from idealistic.  What I ‘imagine’ is depraved and dark, and it all involves you.  You’ve occupied my every thought outside of my NEWTs for the past few months.  I have never been attracted to anyone the way I’m attracted to you.  Try as you might to ignore it, you feel the same way, which is why you haven’t called me a silly little girl and dismissed me completely.  I don’t want to save you.  I don’t want to mould you.  I just want you to realize that whatever life you’ve got left is worth living, and that you should live it with me.”



He was silent and she wondered if he’d heard her at all, or if he just wanted to make her nervous.  Then, he spoke, his voice soft, low, and even-toned at the same time he grabbed a fistful of hair and gently tugged so that her eyes met his and she couldn’t look away.



Every inch of her was throbbing with need, but he stood, hard as stone.



“Depraved and dark, little Miss?  Are you sure that’s what you want?  There is no going back after this.  Think on it.  If you’re sure…meet me in my classroom at seven this evening and we’ll start brewing the potions that Madame Pomfrey requires.”



He backed away from her suddenly, staying just out of her reach.



“What?  What are you doing?  Is that it?” Hermione cried out, exasperated.



“It’s nearly time for me to teach my next class.  Yes, that’s it, for now.  I’ll see you this evening.”



“But…!”



“I’ll see you at seven, Miss Granger.  Don’t be late.”  



Even in the dim light of the hall, she could see the smirk on his face before he retreated, robes billowing around him.  

____



He considered for a moment that he was going mad as he wound his way down to the Potions classroom.



Perhaps he had finally lost his mind, years after playing both sides.  Perhaps, he thought, his impending death was affecting his ability to think straight.  He was thinking with his cock instead of his brain.  Yes, that was it.  Had to be.  One last shag before the end.



There could be no other explanation as to why he had allowed the Granger girl to get so close to him—though it wasn’t as if she knew his every thought and desire—only one had ever been that close to him before and she’d been dead for nearly two decades.  



His heart still ached at her loss, though it was muted.  It always would.  Lily Evans had been the love of his life.  His devotion to her would persist until his dying day, and it was the reason he had become a double agent for the cause against Voldemort once he learned of the prophecy and the decision made by the Dark Lord that Harry Potter was its subject.  After Lily’s death he had to protect Harry, because he was her blood, her child…and the only real hope they had of defeating the evil that threatened to swallow them all.



Nevertheless, Potter reminded him of James and was a constant source of irritation.  Just like his father, he was cocky, headstrong, and seemingly sure of himself.  He knew that wasn’t always true, especially when it was suspected by the students at Hogwarts that he was the heir of Slytherin.

Somewhere in his mind he understood that Potter really was nothing like his father but the resemblance always overrode that realization.  He was petty, he admitted.  Years after Lily rejected him for James, it hurt.  Potter’s very existence was a reminder of what he never could have.



‘Enough of that.’  He chastised himself mentally.  

 

As he passed the Slytherin dormitories, he mused that it was only a matter of time before Malfoy and his lackeys became full-fledged Death Eaters.  It was probable Draco would be the one to kill him, once and for all proving his loyalty to the Dark Lord and securing a prominent place for the Malfoy family.  



What would happen to Granger then?  Who would protect her?  



‘Protect her?  As if you are responsible for her wellbeing?  Damn it all, Severus!  Get a hold of yourself!  She isn’t yours, and whatever this is won’t last for long.  Your time is coming.’



Was he starting to care for her, perhaps a bit?



No.  No!  She was a bloody know-it-all, too smart for her own good.  She would come to her senses.  Or he’d be dead and she wouldn’t have a choice.  



Yet, he felt a pang at the thought of her with the Weasley boy, or dancing with Krum, and he resisted the urge to punch a wall.  



Lunacy!



He stuffed it all in the back of his mind as he approached the Potions classroom to find his fourth-year students chattering noisily instead of reading the chapter on the wit-sharpening potion.  When the door hit the stone wall behind it as he flung it open, all talk stopped and fearful eyes met the tall, lanky frame swathed in billowing black robes that stood before them.



“I don’t recall leaving instructions stating it acceptable to blabber in my classroom instead of following the directions written on the board.  Since you all seem to have forgotten which class this is, perhaps you need some reminding.  Retrieve your quills and parchment paper.  You’ll all be writing essays on proper procedures for safety in Potions so that your minds are ready to work the next time you enter my classroom.  And, twenty points will be deducted from each house represented here today.  I expect all of your essays to be on my desk at the end of the period.”



When the students still hadn’t moved to begin writing, he raised an eyebrow.



“Well, what are you waiting for?  Begin!” He snapped.  



Nothing could be heard for the rest of the period except for the constant scratching of quill against paper.