A Chance at Life

A Chance at Life

Chapter 8 (Part 2): Consequences

January 24, 1968 (continued)

Harry groaned when he saw Severus and Eileen looking at him like he had grown a third eye or something. He conjured up a mirror and took a fortifying breath before taking a look…

“Oh…well at least it doesn’t look like an American highway map anymore, though I could easily join a circus now.” Harry joked.

In his opinion, he looked like a tattooed weirdo with cheap contact lenses but he was used to being different and as long as Severus and Eileen didn’t mind his new look the rest of the world could go hang. But he still felt a little weird about his scars. He had spent his life so far being instantly known because of one, any scars on his face made him feel vulnerable somehow.

“What’s a circus?” Severus asked with a frown.

Eileen shot Severus an unhappy look, she still didn’t know how they had gotten bitten. She knew from Severus’ note that he had followed Harry somewhere. She assumed they had been in the Forbidden Forest, but what exactly had happened?

“Forget about it, I’ll explain some other time. Eileen, do you have any painkillers in stock? It would make it easier to sleep tonight….How about we talk about this in morning?”

Harry flexed his body cautiously; the bites on his arms and chest still stung, but Noodle had been able to remove most of the remaining venom so in all probability he’ll be fine in two days if not sooner. This fast healing ability was one effect about the whole Chamber of Secrets fiasco he felt grateful for, though…he could really do without everything else that came with it.

HPSSHPSSHPSSHPSS

January 25 (2:17am)

Severus couldn’t sleep; he couldn’t stop thinking about the consequences of his foolishness. He had gotten Harry and himself hurt and almost killed. He felt stupid for thinking Harry would leave him. People don’t run into a nest of giant spiders to rescue someone they don’t like, much less cuddle the reason for their injuries while they are still in pain themselves.

That was another thing about Harry. He was different from everyone else. Severus hated to be cuddled, patted on the head, or any other such thing. Such actions always made him feel like they were looking down on him or thinking him weak. He didn’t feel like that with Harry at all.

Maybe it was because Harry was so special. He didn’t seem to think like anyone he had ever met. His beliefs and way of looking at things always managed to surprise him somehow, and in the end he felt secure that whatever Harry might think of him, he won’t think him weak or look down on him for allowing that physical closeness.

Tobias always saw physical signs of affection as womanish nonsense and thus a show of weakness. All other men he had ever observed or met were always careful not to seem ‘womanish’ when among other men, including their sons. Even women seemed to find such behavior normal, which is why he didn’t like his mother to touch him like that too much. She saw things like everyone else did too. He knew she loved him and he loved her, but it wasn’t the same as with Harry.

Now he had to deal with this guilt he was feeling. He knew that for all his understanding ways, Harry still felt self-conscious of his scars. He had seen Harry’s expression when he had looked at the new changes to his face. Not only did he have another, bigger, scar on his face, he had to deal with the other changes as well. Severus didn’t know what a circus was but he was certain the reference had not been a positive one.

After fighting with himself for a few minutes, Severus finally decided to go see Harry and check if he was awake too.

Severus entered Harry’s room without knocking; he didn’t want to wake him up if he was sleeping. The room curtains were open and the waxing gibbous illuminated the bedroom in enough silver moonlight to make out Harry’s sleeping features. Thus, as soon as he entered he saw that Harry was indeed asleep. He was a little disappointed but not really surprised, it was the middle of the night after all.

He was just about to leave when he heard Harry call out to him. “Severus? What is it?”

“I couldn’t sleep….Did I wake you?” It seemed to Severus that all he did was keep finding new things to feel guilty about. He had not meant to wake him up.

Harry didn’t answer; instead, he smiled at him and patted the empty space beside him on the queen-size bed. “Come on, you can lie here while we talk.” Severus didn’t need further prompting. He removed his slippers and slipped under the covers, facing Harry.

“What’s the problem?”

“I’m sorry you got hurt because of me. I feel so stupid….” Severus told him, scowling into his pillow.

“We all feel stupid sometimes, just like we all make mistakes. The only thing you can do now is learn from your mistake.”

A moment of silence.

“Sev, why did you follow me yesterday?”

Severus sighed. “It’s stupid.”

“Your actions were undoubtedly foolish, but your reasons, your feelings, could never be stupid.” Severus looked up at that and raised his hand to take Harry’s hand in his smaller one.

“I was scared.” Severus whispered, focusing on their joined hands. He would have never admitted such a thing to anyone else but this was Harry. Harry would never make fun of him for admitting it.

“I thought that you had started leaving the house to look for someone else to help. Like you helped me…but someone that wasn’t a vampire or that would hurt you like I did that day I got mad.”

Harry squeezed his hand gently. “Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. You had never left us alone before. But you started going out and not eating lunch with us the day after I hurt you. I thought maybe you were too nice to tell me that I really was a monster-“

Harry cut him off before he could even finish the sentence. “You are not a monster. Don’t ever say that about yourself, especially because of what you are. What matters to me is who you are. If you’re a good person I don’t care if you are turned into a banshee with blue skin and three eyes, you will still be Severus. And I definitely wouldn’t call you a monster.”

“A blue banshee?” Severus giggled and saw Harry’s smile flash in the moonlight as he looked at him.

“Harry, if you are not going to leave us, who are those carvings in your room for?” As soon as he said it he blushed and hoped his face was shadowed enough to hide it from Harry who was the one facing the window.

“You searched my room?” Harry asked him with an arched eyebrow.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to know where you went. I didn’t take anything I promise!”

“I’m not worried about you stealing; I’m just confused as to why you didn’t just ask me.” Severus was quiet for a minute. He honestly hadn’t thought of that.

“Could I really have asked you? Mom said that we are not to bother you. I’m not sure but I think she believes you work doing something illegal. When Tobias worked he usually left early and didn’t get home until after have never done that and well, you know…because you have a lot of money but you have never told us how you earn it and still spend a lot of time at home. ”

Harry burst out laughing so hard the bed shook.

“I don’t do anything illegal.” He told him between chuckles. “I gamble. I better remember to clear that up with her in the morning…”

“Gamble? At what?”

“Quidditch games. I have quite a knack for betting on the winner and I don’t place small bets either. It’s quite lucrative and allows me to manage my time as I please.”

“Mmmm…so about the toys then…”

“They are for the centaurs’ young in the Forbidden Forest. I wish to befriend them. They are our neighbors after all.”

“What?! Why? They are dangerous creat-” Severus cut himself off. Many would consider him a dangerous creature, and a dark one at that. Just by associating with him Harry demonstrated his lack of prejudice, it shouldn’t surprise him that it extended to others as well. Which reminded him…“Harry, why are you so different?”

He quickly realized how offensive the question sounded. “I mean, you obviously don’t think I’m a dangerous dark creature, or centaurs, and I remember you said you hated the werewolf registration act…Even the way you treat me and how you act. You admit liking to cook and you always hug me or ruffle my hair or…”

“I’m sorry, if I was making you uncomfortable you should have-“

“NO, no, it’s not that. I hate it when other people do it but it’s okay when you do it. It doesn’t feel like your babying me or make me feel ill at ease when you do it. It feels different…I can’t really explain it.” Severus said frustrated.

“The answers to your questions are related in a way. You see, when I was a child I lived with relatives that hated anything that they didn’t consider ‘normal’ or acceptable by society’s standards. They had never liked me to begin with, since I became their ward when my parents died, I was nothing but an unwanted burden to them.”

“How old were you?” Severus asked softly, he had wanted to know more about Harry ever since he rescued them. He was not about to waste this opportunity when Harry was talking about himself of his own free will.

“My parents died when I was a year old. I had no other relatives so they had to take me in, but they did so grudgingly. Things just became worse when they learned I was a wizard. Before I turned eleven they had kept me around doing chores, cooking, and things like that. After that however, we barely saw each other, much less speak to one another unless we had to. So when I was about twelve or thirteen I promised myself that I would never be like them. I would not change myself to be whatever society found acceptable, nor would I ever judge others just because everyone else believed them to be a certain way.”

“So that’s why you’re okay with me being a vampire and the centaurs and the werewolves…”

“It’s a big part of it.” Harry told Severus and looked out the window for a second before continuing. “That is also part of the reason why I’m so demonstrative with you. As I grew up there were many times I wished for someone to hug me or just touch me with a little bit of affection. I promised myself that if I ever had children of my own, I would never deny them that. I know you are not my son but I do consider you my family now. Nevertheless, please…promise me that if you ever feel uncomfortable in any way you’ll let me know. I don’t want you to feel as if you have to put up with me, if you don’t like something just tell me and I won’t do it again. Promise?”

“I promise, but like I said before, it’s okay.”

“I’ll trust you on that.” Harry told him squeezing his hand once more before releasing it. “We better sleep now. Your mother will want a full explanation in a few hours. You better rest before you face that inquisition.”

Severus groaned; he was going to be grounded forever - if not longer.

Harry laughed. “I’m sure it won’t be too bad. You can sleep here tonight if you want. The bed is more than big enough for the two of us.”

Severus groaned again and pulled the covers over his head. The last thing he heard as he drifted off to sleep, no longer bothered by a guilty conscience, was Harry’s soft laughter.

HPSSHPSSHPSS

When Harry woke up in the morning he felt warmer than usual. He opened his eyes and saw that Severus had moved sometime during the night; the surprising thing was that Harry hadn’t woken up. He was a very light sleeper and because of the war he was used to waking up at the slightest disturbance (which is why he had woken up when Severus entered his room during the night).

Severus was laying half on him, his head and torso on Harry’s stomach, one arm around Harry’s waist.

Harry smiled. He had no idea how Severus ended up in this position but now he had to figure out how to get up without waking him. He slowly and gently separated himself from Severus, leaving him to settle down again with a bit of sleepy grumbling and hugging the pillow instead of Harry.

“Harry have you seen Severus? I just went to his room but he’s not there.” Harry heard a worried sounding Eileen ask him as soon as he stepped out of his room.

“He’s sleeping in my room. He had a guilty conscience crisis last night and couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh…” Eileen said with a frown.

“Were you going to wake him up so early? You two can talk while I cook if you wish.” Harry offered since he already knew everything. So, that’s exactly what happened after everyone was assembled in the kitchen.

After an intense discussion Eileen grounded Severus with no potions and no new books for a month. Severus had told her what had happened while skillfully avoiding mentioning what had prompted his behavior in the first place, but Harry didn’t mention Severus’ fear. Not only would he be breaking a confidence if he did, but it was not his place to butt in between Severus and his mother.

Harry only spoke up again once breakfast was ready, after calling Noodle.

“Good morning masters, mistress. Everything fine?” Noodle said as soon as he popped in.

“We are fine, don’t worry so much.” Harry assured him after Eileen and Severus greeted him. “So, just out of curiosity, what do the two of you think I do for a living?” He asked Noodle and Eileen.

“Sell dangerous potions ingredients, like acromantula venom.” Noodle answered with a pointed look.

“And you Eileen?” Harry asked her with a smirk.

“Ummm…well…whatever you do is fine with me as long as it does not endanger Severus or myself…you have never brought anything like that home so it does not really matter I suppose..”

He arched an eyebrow, an answer worthy of a Slytherin: polite evasiveness that completely ignored answering the question.

“I’m afraid I will have to disappoint you then. My profession is very boring and lacking in dangerousness or adventure of the kind Noodle imagines…I am but a gambler.”

“Since we are all here right now let me just go on record and say that you can always ask me anything. I am not saying I will always answer but if I don’t want to answer I will inform you of it...So, let’s have it: any question you’re just burning to ask?”

“You are Noodle’s master, you are kind and Noodle has never been happier. I do not need to know anything else.”

Harry was familiar with house-elf loyalty but it still warmed his heart to hear that Noodle was indeed happy living with them.

“I’m glad you’re happy Noodle. I made a little something for your mother. Which family does she serve? I don’t want to get her in trouble so I rather request permission for her to wear it before giving it to her. It’s a simple gift really, muggles call them friendship bracelets.” Harry told him while taking out a thin, hand woven, silver and blue bracelet made out of embroidery thread.

“House-elfs don’t need things, Mas-Harry, but mamá will be happy to know you made something for her, even if she can’t wear it… She serves the Malfoy family you see.”

“Ah.” That was sure to be an unpleasant meeting. “I’ll try to arrange a meeting soon anyway.”

The truth was that Harry had interwoven his magic into the threads as he wove them into a bracelet. It worked as an alarm system, letting him know if she was in danger or gravely injured. It was only fair that after saving Severus from days of pain he look out for her at the very least.

“How about you Eileen?”

“Yesterday you mentioned your blood was different somehow. If this is so how did it happen and how can you be sure that it won’t harm my son?”

Harry nodded; she had the right of a concerned mother after all. “What I am about to tell you can never be discussed again unless absolutely necessary. Is this clear?” He asked in complete seriousness and did not continue until they had all agreed.

“When I was younger I was bitten by a basilisk and with a lot of luck and even more help, I survived. However, my survival came with a price. One was a natural resistance to poisons, as far as I know there is no poison that can kill me at the moment. The other, well, I am sure you have noticed how young I look?...I stopped aging when I was 17.”

“What? But why? Are you saying you can’t die?” Eileen asked astonished.

“I won’t tell you why, it’s better if you don’t know. And no, that’s not what I meant. I can’t age but I can die just like any other person, I just won’t look any older than this. As for how I know my blood won’t hurt Severus, simply put, he is not the first vampire I have fed. My blood will help him a little actually. Even as a vampire he is still vulnerable to some poisons, with my blood that won’t be a problem. He will still suffer some side effects, like the scars left after Kura’s healing, but it is unlikely any poison would ever actually kill him if he continues to drink from me.”

Eileen looked from Harry to her son, not knowing what to say to that.

“Any other questions?” Harry asked as he drank a bit of tea to soothe his dry throat.

“How was it that you found Severus in the Forbidden Forest? Severus said you apparated right into the throng of acromantulas attacking him. How did you know where he was?”

Harry thought about how to answer for a moment. He didn’t want to reveal his clairvoyance so soon but he could mention his ‘empathy’ for now. What he did was actually closer to ‘feeling’ another person’s magic and by extension their emotions or thoughts, but it was easier to just call it empathy; it made it easier to explain at least.

He needed to talk about it with Severus anyway.

“Do all you know what empathy is?”

Severus and Noodle shook their heads in the negative.

“It’s the ability to feel another person’s emotions, correct?” Eileen asked.

“Basically.” Harry agreed.

“I am a rather weak empath. I usually need to focus on a particular individual to exercise this ability. However, I am very sensitive to Severus in particular. Almost from our first meeting I knew there was some kind of connection between us. It was the reason why I tried so hard to get him to accept my help when I first met him. I knew he needed me…and I was there to help. I always go with my instincts when I can.”

He smiled a little sheepishly at them. “When I first met you I told you the truth when I said I wanted to help you but it was not the main reason why. I couldn’t tell you that I wanted to help because my instincts told me to; you would have thought me a nutcase!”

Severus was grinning like a maniac by now, happy to know he had a special connection to Harry. Noodle just kept on eating; he really liked the little animal shapes Harry made of their breakfast fruit. Eileen was shaking her head, muttering something about how she shouldn’t be surprised by anything anymore or something along those lines.

“So, in order to keep myself from becoming overwhelmed by Severus’ feelings I keep my Occlumency shields as strong as I can. Occlumency is the art of shielding the mind against external penetration, magical or otherwise. However, if Severus’ emotions are intense enough they can still get through to me. Yesterday was one of those times.”

“When I felt him in trouble I merely allowed my instincts to guide me to his side.” He finished with a shrug.

“I see…please don’t take this the wrong way but since meeting you there were times when I did think you a little too sensitive for a male. Not that that’s a bad thing! It’s just unusual that’s all. Your empathy, no matter how weak, does explain quite a few things about you.”

Harry blushed, he hated being called sensitive, it reminded him too much of Malfoy’s taunting.

Severus was scowling at his mother and jabbing his sausage rather savagely; she shouldn’t be making Harry feel bad.

“Anyway, I would like to teach Severus Occlumency. By keeping my shields so high all the time I am limiting what I can perceive. If I’d had them at a normal level, yesterday’s mishaps would have never taken place. If you agree to my teaching him of course...” He told Eileen before Severus got too excited with the idea.

“I don’t see why not…” Eileen said still somewhat hesitant but she was willing to wait and see how things continue to develop. She was still reeling about the fact that Severus had slept with Harry last night, she wasn’t comfortable with the idea of him sleeping with another male. But Severus had not complained about anything when she woke him up…but then again Harry was powerful enough that he could Obliviate them and she’d never know. But if he did that would be going against what he had said under the globe of truth spell …She was getting a headache just thing of ‘what ifs’ and getting no where.

“Great! Let’s get started tonight!” Severus said enthusiastically.

She will just make sure to keep an even closer eye on the both of them, she had no reason to doubt Harry but it was still too early for her to trust him blindly.
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AN: Don't forget to rate this fic, please and thank you! ^_^

Well guys I am updating this chapter early but I don’t know when the next will be up. My baby sister is doing her First Communion and my mom is after me to learn all that Catholic stuff for the Mass and getting things ready for the party, so I’m gonna be busy the next two weeks.

Suggestions and comments are welcome, as always. Have a good weekend everyone! =)

-Lina