Preparedness -- Snape Answers the Door Challenge

Severus sighed tiredly. It\'s been two weeks since the war, people should have forgotten him already by now. Would they never leave him alone? First it was McGonagall with expensive wine, then it was Flitwick with a collection of muggle CDs with classical music, then it was Hagrid who brought him a blast-ended skrewt as a peace-offering... who was it now?



He opened the door.



On the doorstep stood Kingsley and Potter. Harry Potter.



"What?" Snape asked in a very unfriendly way.



"Um, it\'s kind of a long story," Harry said hesitantly.



"Why don\'t you write it out then," Snape suggested.



"Well, it\'s also quite urgent... see, er... you are... um..."



"Oh, for crying out loud, Harry, let me explain!" Kingsley said irritably. "Snape, you\'re a Death Eater, and the general public is not happy about you roaming around freely. On the other hand, we don\'t want to imprison you either, you know, the Order and Dumbledore\'s Army would go mental and probably blow up Azkaban trying to rescue you... so we\'ve come up with a compromise."



Severus found the vein on his temple twitching slightly. "What kind of compromise?" he asked in a dangerous voice. "And before you answer, let me tell you that me hanging myself in the bathroom doesn\'t count."



"What? Oh, no, no, no. The compromise is that you will become Harry\'s slave. It will appease the people, satisfy everyone\'s desire for justice, and everyone will be happy."



"JUSTICE??? Happy???"



"It won\'t be so bad," Harry assured him gently, clearly noting Snape\'s disgusted expression. "I\'ll only spank you when you\'ve been disobedient... and I\'ll let you have some money.... and I won\'t insist that you bear me more than three children... I\'ll want to name the first one after my dad and Sirius, but the rest of the names are open to negotiation... and I\'d never make fun of your underpants, I swear!" Harry added as an afterthought.



Snape glared at both of them. "This is very poor taste. Not even remotely funny."



"Honestly, Snape, it\'s your only option," Kingsley said kindly. "Think about it - what else CAN you do?"



Quickly and decisively, Snape slammed the door in their faces.



~ * ~



"Oh. Well that answers that question," Harry mumbled. "He simply shut the door."



"Tricky bastard."



"Yes. Very clever. I didn\'t think he\'d think of that."



"Well, he wasn\'t a spy for nothing, you know?"



~ * ~



Snape smirked to himself. Stupid Kingsely. Stupid Potter. Stupid public opinion.



Though a family might have been nice, a sudden thought crossed his mind. For a few brief moments he indulged in nostalgic thoughts - on what it would have been like to have children, change nappies, argue about baby names...



Severus sighed, walked to the window and looked outside. In the backyard, securely tethered, the blast-ended skrewt was grazing on lawn.



"I name you James Sirius Snape," Severus told the animal solemnly.



The creature grunted.



Yes, Seveurs thought, the name definitely had a ring to it.