Life From the Start

Chapter 10: Stuck Between Past and Present

“Draco… my head hurts,” Harry muttered, the heel of his hand rubbing against his temple. “Is something wrong with me? Everything is sorta blurry…”

It had been two days since Harry turned seven. After finding out that Harry remembered things from his three-year-old stage, Draco panicked and had immediately fire-called Severus, telling the Potions Master everything. Snape had been shocked, to say the least. But then he composure himself and told the blond to be calm; it was possible, after all, that there was a chance for Potter’s real memories to mingle with the ones from his de-aged days. Snape told Draco to be ready for Harry to slip suddenly into a memory relapse mode, and then, be back to normal in a flash.

After hearing that from Snape, Draco sort of went into shock and walked numbly back to the dining room, where Harry was still happily eating his breakfast. For the rest of that day, Draco watched Harry closely, sometimes noticing little blank looks from the green eyed boy. As sudden as those looks came, they were gone in seconds. It was never long; Harry would zone out, whatever he was doing would stop, and when Draco called out to the boy, Harry would blink and the seven-year-old would be back, smiling as if nothing happened. Malfoy noticed that whenever Harry had the relapses, the boy would furrow his eyebrows as if he was deep in thought; his green eyes would dim and were fixed onto one spot in front of him.

Draco was scared and worried that the memories of Harry hating him would slowly trickle back. That worry intensified when the blank stares from Harry were sometimes directed at him. Harry would frown at Draco, blink, and then, Harry was back to his kiddy self.

Draco hoped that day never comes.

Now, two days later, Draco was attending his Ancient Runes class with Harry sitting quietly next to him. Harry had taken the miniature Firebolt with him this morning and had been playing with it through Draco’s classes. When the young boy complained about having a headache, Draco was immediately concerned and stopped writing his notes.

“Can you see what’s written on the board in front?” Draco asked; he had been wondering when to give Harry his glasses back. Now, it seemed his question was answered.

Harry rubbed his forehead before looking up; he squinted at the blackboard and let out a huff.

“I can’t really see… but I can make out some white squiggly lines.” Harry muttered then looked up at Draco worriedly. “Is something wrong with me?! Do I need glasses? I remember some round glasses…” Harry trailed off and frowned.

Draco chewed on his bottom lip when Harry started to zone out again, his green eyes turned lifeless.

“Glasses… I had them before.” Harry murmured and turned to Draco. “You have them… You kept…” Harry winced and then put both of his hands over his eyes; he began wagging his head. “Draco… it hurts… my head, it hurts…”

Draco picked up the shaking body and held Harry close to himself. The whole class had quiet down and the students were now staring at Draco and Harry, muttering things under their breath. The blond paid no attention to them and just rocked the young boy in his arms, whispering soothing words into Harry’s ears.

“What else do you remember, Harry?” Draco asked; he was ready for this… Snape did warn him two days ago.

“I-I just… I don’t know! Everything’s blurry… there are pictures in my head… I see myself but I think I look older… and-and I don’t know…” Harry whimpered and buried his head into Draco’s shoulder, “Make it stop Draco… My head really hurts. Why is this happening? Am I a freak like my auntie and uncle said?” Harry sniffed and looked up; Draco noticed that Harry’s eyes were not longer out of focus. They looked normal, which meant… Harry’s relapse was over.

“No baby… you’re not a freak. Never believe what your uncle or aunt said. They don’t know anything.” Draco whispered, “When we go back to our quarters, I’ll give you your glasses back alright?” Harry nodded and Draco smiled lightly, “Just try to relax… don’t think too much.”

“Kay…” Harry murmured and buried his head into the crook of Draco’s neck.

Draco looked down at the resting boy and then he picked up his quill again. When Harry had quieted down, the rest of the class also resumed to their own things. Draco’s mind wandered as he wrote. Harry had mentioned his ‘auntie and ‘uncle and the blond assumed Harry was talking about his Muggle relatives. What made him scowl, however, was how Harry said they had called him a freak. Just by that one single word, Draco knew Harry’s childhood wasn’t a happy one.

“… you may go.”

Draco looked up; the Ancient Runes professor had just dismissed the class. Students filed out one by one; Draco shook the sleeping boy in his arms gently, waking Harry.

“Come on, Harry. It’s time to go.” Draco said softly; Harry looked up groggily at Draco and nodded. The brunet scrambled off Draco’s lap and then stood next to the table, leaning against it. “Do you want to go back or go have lunch in the Great Hall today?”

Harry shook his head and looked at the blond miserably. “My head still kinda hurts… I want to go back and sleep.”

Draco nodded, closing the flap of his school bag. He bent down and picked Harry up. As they were walking to their private quarters, Harry remained quiet and Draco didn’t ask why. But when they were near their rooms, Harry lifted his head away from Draco’s shoulder and spoke up.

“How come I remember round glasses, Draco?” Harry asked with a frown on his face. “I never had them before have I?”

Draco stiffened, ‘Questions… How the hell am I going to answer them?!’

“Well… maybe you saw somebody with round glasses,” Draco suggested, “That person could’ve walked by and uh… you saw the glasses.”

Draco hated lying to Harry.

Harry frowned and then he smiled, all traces of sadness were gone. “I guess… Oh well. It doesn’t matter where I saw them.” Harry sighed and laid his head back onto Draco’s shoulder.

“Yeah… it doesn’t matter.” Draco muttered.

When they finally made it to their living quarters, Harry was half awake; his eyes were drooping. Draco chuckled and carried the brunet to his bedroom where he gently placed Harry onto his bed. Draco grabbed Eddy the teddy and laid it next to the green eyed boy. Harry smiled sleepily at Draco before rolling to his side and held Eddy close to his small body. Shaking his head, Draco pulled the blankets over Harry.

“I’ll wake you up later alright?” Harry nodded once and then went into a light slumber.

Draco looked down at the sleeping child and reached forward to play with Harry’s hair. He chuckled softly when Harry moved closer to the teddy bear and pressed his face into the soft hairs of the stuffed bear.

‘My time is definitely running short…’

HPDMHPDM

Draco was sitting on the couch in the living room, redoing his Ancient Runes notes, when Harry came out from his bedroom. It wasn’t until the brunet let out a huge yawn did Draco realized the boy was there. Malfoy looked up from his book and then snickered at Harry’s bed-head. Dark brown hair flopped in twenty different directions; the top looked like Harry had slept while doing a headstand. When Draco waved Harry over, the young boy half skipped to the couch and plopped down next to the blond.

“How do you feel? Does your head still hurt?” Draco asked the boy; Harry shook his head and knuckled his eyes.

“Nah… I feel better now.” Harry looked up and smiled at Draco, his green eyes sparkling. “Do you have the glasses? I want to see them!”

Draco snorted and plunged his hand into his trouser pocket, producing an oval, thin-wire framed glasses. Harry’s smile widened and plucked the glasses out of Draco’s hand; he examined the frame before putting it on.

Draco chuckled, “I resized them so that they would fit better. So is everything clear to you now?”

Draco looked on as Harry tested out his glasses by looking at things around the room. This pair of glasses was smaller than Harry’s old ones. First of all, the frame was not the hideous round circles anymore. Second, the wire was much thinner than the old pair. Draco never liked Harry’s old glasses anyway.

“Oh wow! I can see, Draco! Everything’s not blurry anymore… Oh look! I can even see that spider above the fireplace!” Harry said excitedly and pointed directly in front of him. “Can I keep the spider as my pet?”

Draco narrowed his eyes and followed the path of Harry’s pointing finger. Right there, above the mantle, was a black spider, crawling slowly upward. Draco’s eyes twitched; he turned to the beaming Harry and smiled lightly.

“No Harry, you can’t have the spider as your pet. Now, can you go fetch me some tissues?”

Harry gasped and looked at Draco, and then at the black spider, then back at Draco.

“Are you going to kill it?!”

“Of course; spiders do not make good pets, Harry.” Draco said calmly; Harry pouted and then nodded slowly.

“Okay… You’re right. Spiders don’t make good pets do they?”

Draco chuckled and ruffled Harry’s hair, making it messier. “No, they’re not really good pets. Now go on, get me some tissues.”

Harry then hopped off the couch and zoomed straight to the bathroom. Draco watched the spider through narrowed eyes. Normally, he would’ve hexed the damn spider right off the wall. Draco would do so without blinking an eye. But since Harry was here, Draco had to kill the spider in a nicer way. A moment later, Harry came back out with a handful of tissues; he waved it in front of Draco’s face, waiting for the blond to take them.

“I don’t know how many you want… So I got a whole bunch!” Harry laughed; Draco shook his head with a smile and took one piece.

Malfoy strode over to the fireplace and with great precision, smashed the damn spider with his tissue-covered hand. Harry laughed when the blond pounded the spider; Draco sniffed and crumpled the tissue before tossing it into the fire. The Slytherin walked back to the couch and sat down again, picked up his textbook, and resumed writing his notes.

When Draco started writing, Harry peered over Malfoy’s arm and glanced at the page the blond was on.

“Draco… what is that? They look weird…” Harry furrowed his eyebrows together, his eyes scanning the page from top to bottom, “They all look like squiggly lines to me.” He then jabbed a pudgy finger at the first line on the page.

Draco laughed pulled Harry closer to him; the brunet gladly fell against Draco’s side and stayed there.

“These are runes. You won’t be able to understand any of them.” Draco said and went back to his notes, leaving Harry alone.

Harry shrugged and turned his attention away from Draco; he stared ahead, into the crackling flame. The usually bright emerald orbs began to dim, and finally, they looked lifeless.

“… Between magic and power…” Harry murmured; he continued to stare straight ahead, eyebrows knitted together, and not blinking even once.

Draco’s quill stopped moving and he dropped it on his parchment, making a blotch of black ink in the middle. He turned and attentively placed a hand on Harry’s leg.

“What did you say?” Draco whispered; Harry jolted from his stupor and looked up into Draco’s grey eyes. He tilted his head and gave Malfoy a lopsided grin.

“Silly Draco… I didn’t say anything!” Harry laughed; his eyes were bright once more. Harry looked at Draco’s notes and snickered, “You better hurry up, Draco… or else we won’t make it for dinner!”

Draco picked up his sheet of notes and muttered a spell, clearing the ink blot.

“I still need to write a bit more… Why don’t you go ahead and take a shower first, Harry?”

Harry giggled and nodded, “Uhm okay! But don’t come inside like last time Dray; you thought I didn’t know how to wash myself.” Harry smiled cheekily at the blond, “I’m gonna lock the door this time.”

Draco rolled his eyes and playfully shoved Harry off the couch. Harry laughed and ran off, making a beeline to his bedroom.

When Draco heard the slam of Harry’s bedroom door, he slid down on the couch and threw his book to the side. Malfoy rubbed his face tiredly and let out a sigh. Harry’s relapses were occurring more frequently. Just now, he knew he wasn’t hearing things; Draco heard exactly what Harry had said earlier.

The brunet had muttered the first few words of a sentence on the page from Draco’s Ancient Runes book.

It wouldn’t be surprising if it was the seventeen year old Harry that had said those words. After all, Harry was in Draco’s class and the page the blond was on, they had gone over before.

Before Harry’s accident.

Draco tilted his head back and rested on the couch. He could hear the soft sounds of water running in the bathroom. Draco smiled when he heard Harry singing in the bathroom—in his squeaky, childish voice (mostly, Harry was just going ‘la la la’). Draco sighed and closed his eyes.

He needed to talk to Snape about Harry’s problem.

HPDMHPDM

“Professor, I need to talk to you. It’s important.” Draco stared at the sitting Potions Master, who was correcting some essays.

Snape looked up from the papers and smirked; he meticulously put down his quill and stood up from his chair.

“Very well. Follow me, Mr. Malfoy. We’ll be going to my private office.” Snape swept away and Draco was right behind him.

Once the door was tightly closed, Draco began pacing back and forth in front of the Potions Master.

“Sir, you know I told you about Harry’s problem. His real memories are coming back faster than before. He’s been having those relapses more often now.” Draco paused and took a deep breath. “I’m worried about Harry’s mentality… I don’t know if he can cope. Hell, if I was him, I think I would’ve gone mental by now.”

Snape nodded and folded his hands behind his back, “I know, Draco. I understand you are worried about Potter, but there’s not much we can do. All we can do is wait.”

“I don’t want to wait!” Draco grounded out, “Almost everyday Harry gets headaches. He spends most of his time sleeping and moaning about pictures in his head!” Draco stopped his rant and stared at the door, where he knew Harry was outside waiting for him to come back out. “Sometimes… Harry looks at me… I am scared that he would start to remember our relationship before the accident.”

Severus walked over to the blond and placed a careful hand on his shoulder. “I know you don't want any of this to happen, Draco. But really, there is nothing that we can do to help Potter.”

"I know, Professor. I just don't want to admit it I guess."

HPDMHPDM

Harry smiled at his finished drawing; Draco had given him some parchments to draw on before going into the room with Snape. When Malfoy asked Harry to sit outside and wait for him, Harry did not question the blond; he only smiled and said he would wait for Draco.

It had been ten minutes or more since Draco disappeared into the room. Sometimes Harry could hear shouts coming from inside. The brunet wanted to go in just to see what his Draco was doing, but then Harry thought it was rude to do so.

Harry sighed and put his crayon down; he looked around the classroom, and had a feeling that something was familiar with it. He let out a short gasp when suddenly, his inner mind was bombarded with flashing images…

“I is sowwy Pwovesir Slaps.” A three-year-old Harry said.

The look on Snape’s face was absolutely horrible…

-flash-

“Damnit Malfoy! Stop checking your nails!”

Draco lowered his hand and turned to face Harry, a smirk etched across his face.

-flash-

“You make poshuns? Can I helps?”

“I don’t know… You might make a mess.”

“No I not!” Harry pouted, “I wants to help you.”

Draco sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “Fine… When I ask you for something, you hand it to me okay?”

“Kay!”

-flash-

“Come on Dway, make da cuppy to a teddy bwere!”

“Alright, alright!”

Harry opened his eyes and saw the biggest teddy bear he had ever seen…

“Look love, do you like the teddy?”

“I wuv da bwere! Dank you Dway!”

Harry gasped and whimpered; his head was hurting again. Tears swelled in his eyes and Harry folded his arms on top of the table and pressed his forehead down. Why did he look older in the pictures? But Draco looked like he was now. Also, the look on Draco’s face, that smirk, it was as if Draco didn’t like Harry… The brunet shuddered, feeling rather cold all of a sudden.

“Draco… Please come back… Don’t leave me alone…” Harry sobbed; he looked with teary eyes and found the door was still tightly shut. “I want the pictures to go away… Draco, make them go away…” Harry sniffed and laid his head down, “My head… it hurts… it really hurts.”

Harry coughed a few times and swallowed; his throat was really dry and scratchy. All he wanted right now was for Draco to come out and hold him. Harry looked up again, only this time, his eyes were devoid of all brightness; they were dull and dead.

“Draco… Do you hate me…?”

HPDMHPDM

When Draco came out from Snape’s private office, the first thing he saw was Harry with his head on the table, crying. The blond rushed over to the young boy and picked him up. Harry immediately wrapped his arms around Draco’s neck and buried his tear-covered face into Draco’s shoulder.

“Harry, what’s wrong? Is your head hurting again? Did you see something?” Draco asked, alarmed.

Harry nodded once and sniffed, “I saw the pictures again… I don’t want to see anymore, Draco! Make them all go away… I hate them. My head hurts… they make my head hurt.”

Draco rubbed his small of Harry’s back and made shushing noises. Harry hiccupped and nuzzled Draco’s neck; it was warm and soft. Draco held back a flinch when Harry’s wet nose touched his skin. All that mattered right now was to get Harry to calm down and rest.

The blond turned to face Severus, who had been watching the whole scene.

“I shall take my leave now, Professor. As you can see, Harry needs to rest. He had enough for today.” Draco bit out, his voice was slightly bitter. “Can you send a note to my DADA professor? Tell him I won’t be able to make it to his class today; I have to take care of Harry.”

“Of course, Mr. Malfoy.” Snape said, “I’ll ask Professor Ramiel to send the homework up to your rooms.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Draco murmured and made his way out of the dungeons.

Once they were outside, Draco looked down at Harry, who was staring up at him with red, puffy eyes. “What do you say we head back? I’ll let you sleep next to me today, how does that sound?” Draco smiled when Harry’s face lit up a bit.

“I can nap with you today? On your big bed?” Harry asked; Draco chuckled and wiped a tear from Harry’s cheek.

“Yes, you can. I remember you telling me that when you hug Eddy, you would pretend Eddy was me.”

“Yeah… I sleep faster that way. You make me feel safe, Draco.” Harry smiled and blushed. “I promise I won’t squish you too hard.” Harry added and grinned at the blond.

Draco laughed and ruffled Harry’s hair.

“Make sure you don’t.”

HPDMHPDM