Undesirable - COMPLETE
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
31
Views:
43,507
Reviews:
301
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
31
Views:
43,507
Reviews:
301
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Improper
Chapter Number/Total: 10/31
Chapter Title: Improper
Words: 1777 Words
"We're back," Draco said soothingly as he led Potter back into his home, breathing his own sigh of relief as well. He set the box with the Firebolt on a side table and led Potter into the sitting room.
Harry didn't relax yet, still clinging to Malfoy even as they walked inside. He was holding the remaining ice cream cone in his other hand and it was making it go slightly numb from the coldness, but he didn't notice or care.
Draco settled Potter in an armchair and then knelt in front of him. "You going to eat that?" he asked, looking at the ice cream melting down the man's hand.
Harry lifted his hand and began to lick at the caramel and vanilla ice cream that was dripping down his fingers and slim wrist without much thought. "There were so many people ....”
Draco swallowed hard, watching Potter's tongue slide over his own fingers and then lick at his lips. The blond unconsciously ran his tongue over his own lips. "Um, yes," he said.
"Thanking me again," Harry continued, making sure to get it all off before he started on the ice cream in the cone. "I wish they'd stop."
"I understand," Draco said softly, struggling to focus on his job and not that tongue. "You did something amazing, but they don't understand what it cost you."
"I know, I just ....” Harry bit his lip, looking down at his ice cream cone and licking around the edge.
"You don't remember any of it? Not even in your dreams?" Draco asked, settling down onto both knees now as he looked up at the other man.
"I remember everything in my dreams," Harry said sadly, holding the ice cream out for Malfoy. He had noticed that the other man didn't have a cone.
Draco smiled at him and leaned forward, taking a lick of the ice cream.
"I just can't remember all of that," Harry sighed, leaning in as well to take a lick of his own.
Draco drew back, giving him room, but his eyes were drawn to the other man's mouth, watching him as if hypnotised.
Harry kept holding it out for Malfoy, so they could continue to share it that way. "I just ... sometimes I don't feel like I deserve all of that." Harry was admitting more than he ever had before.
"Why not?" Draco asked quietly, alternating licks on the ice cream with the other man. He understood Harry was frightened of crowds, but wanted to get a better sense of why people's gratitude upset him.
"Because I can't remember any of it," Harry repeated, looking down. "How do I know if I was even the one to do it?"
"There were Death Eaters who survived and were questioned under Veritaserum," Draco said softly. He didn't add that Potter had still been clutching Voldemort's wand when he was found.
Harry swallowed and sighed, sure that there was no way to deny that. The ice cream was melting again so Harry concentrated on just that, licking it so it didn't drip down his hand again.
Draco sat on his knees, quietly watching the other man. He felt they had made a lot of progress today. Harry had actually spoken with someone besides Draco and had behaved nearly normally. He smiled, eyes drawn to a spot of ice cream on the man's chin, resisting the urge to rub it off, or even better, lick it clean. Not an option, he reminded himself.
Harry eventually ate enough of the cone to satisfy himself, and held it out for Draco to have the rest. "Thank you again, Malfoy.”
Draco took the remains of the cone from him, nibbling at it. After a moment, he cocked his head. "Do you like calling me that?"
"It's your name," Harry said, pulling his knees up to his chest and sighing. He felt tired now.
"It's my family name," Draco said. "You know my name."
"Draco," Harry said, the name sounding strange in his mouth. And yet, it felt better than "Malfoy" because that name also meant someone he didn't like to think about. "Draco," he said again.
Draco smirked a bit at that and nodded. "Do you like it when I call you Harry?" he asked. He knew he had slipped into using it more lately.
"Okay.” Harry nodded, thinking that it made more sense given that they were living together. That train of thought led him to wonder things about the other man that he hadn't yet answered. He wrapped his arms around his legs tightly. "Draco?"
"Yes, Harry?" the blond answered.
"Why aren't you married?" Harry asked.
Draco's eyes widened and his brows shot up. That hadn't been a question he had expected. True, most pure-bloods were married before they were out of their teens. But Harry hadn't asked anything about his life since he started working with him. It took him a minute to try to compose an answer. "I guess I haven't found the right person," he said.
"I'm holding you back," Harry said softly, resting his chin on the top of his knees. Draco should have a home of his own, some place more important than being here with Harry.
"I am doing my job, Harry," Draco said, though he knew it was far from the entire truth. Most Healers did not live with their patients. "I am not particularly interested in dating at this point," he continued.
"You've never loved anyone before?" Harry asked, rocking slightly. He didn't know why the subject upset him, but it did.
Draco frowned, noticing the body language. Harry was agitated. "So why does my love life, or lack of one, bother you?" he asked.
"I'm holding you back,” Harry whispered, biting his lip.
"No, I am right where I want to be at this point," Draco assured him. "Why? You think I am getting old?" he teased then, hoping to get Harry to smile.
But Harry didn't smile. "Yes," he replied honestly. "You have your whole life ahead of you ....”
"Yes, and I am only twenty-two. Did you know your birthday is coming up?" he asked, reminded of it now. And he was more comfortable steering this conversation away from his absent private life. Truth was that he had had lovers, but no one who he wanted to stay with, no one who mattered to him. And no one to whom he mattered anymore.
Harry went still, watching Draco. "It is?"
"Yes, today is the sixteenth of July," Draco said. "You do remember your birthday, don't you?"
Harry remembered his birthday, but he couldn't remember the last time it was celebrated. "The thirty-first," he whispered.
"Yes," Draco encouraged. "Is there something you would like for your birthday? Something you would want to do?"
"I don't know," Harry said, shaking his head. There was one thing ... but Harry didn't think he was ready for it. And he certainly didn't think the other man would agree to it.
"It's still a couple weeks away, so you let me know if you think of anything," Draco said. He smiled as he finished the last bit of cone, licking his fingers as he did.
Harry looked down at Malfoy's hand for a moment, slowly beginning to rock in his seat again. Something about the way Draco licked his lips stirred something in him and he wasn't sure how to handle it. "Okay," he said, taking a deep breath.
"You must be tired," Draco said. "Do you want a nap? Can I get you anything?"
"Nap," Harry said, reaching out for Draco.
Draco got to his feet and took Harry's hands, leading the man up to the bedroom. He sat him down on the bed, and knelt again to remove his shoes and socks.
"Will you stay?" Harry asked, slowly pulling off his shirt and holding it out for Draco to take.
Draco set the clothing aside. "You want me to stay in here?" he asked.
Harry shrugged and laid down on the bed. "If ... if you want," he said hesitantly, reaching for the blanket. Something told him that he'd be having yet another nightmare, but now he knew that having Draco near him seemed to help.
"Harry," Draco said softly, moving to tuck him in again. "The question is what do you want."
Harry bit his lip, but nodded, not used to having anyone even bother to ask what he wanted, let alone actually giving it to him. "I want you to stay," he whispered.
"Do you want me to sit beside the bed again?" Draco asked, willing to do that but realising his back still hurt from the night before.
"No, lay down with me," Harry said, remembering the look of discomfort on Draco's face.
Draco arched an eyebrow. It was improper, but maybe if he left his clothes on .... He nodded, removing his own shoes and socks. "Move over," he said.
Harry was already comfortable on his spot in the bed. He always slept in it. He didn't want to move, but there was no space on the other side of the bed for Draco to get in, so he ended up shifting over to the side.
Draco lay down on the bed, a little nervous when he didn't know what to do.
Harry didn't move closer, but he held out his hand for Draco to take.
Draco smiled and took his hand, lying on his back and trying to relax. He knew he should not enjoy holding the man's hand this much. Yet, there was something that just felt right about it to him.
Harry was afraid of getting closer to Draco, even when he knew for a fact that the man had said he wouldn't hurt him. That was something Harry wanted, to not be afraid anymore. To be able to control his own mind, and to be who he couldn't exactly remember being years ago. To love someone. To be loved in return. He looked at Draco, biting his lip in thought.
Draco turned his head to look at the other man. He could see a struggle behind those green eyes and wasn't sure how to interpret it. "Does this work?"
"Yes.” Harry blushed softly and looked down at their hands before closing his eyes for sleep.
Draco smiled and tried to relax. He watched as Harry drifted off to sleep. He remembered the way he used to watch Potter in school. He had had years to think about what their rivalry had meant to him. He found himself wondering about the question Harry had posed. Why couldn't Draco find someone to settle down with, to love? The simple truth was that he didn't know the answer.
Chapter Title: Improper
Words: 1777 Words
"We're back," Draco said soothingly as he led Potter back into his home, breathing his own sigh of relief as well. He set the box with the Firebolt on a side table and led Potter into the sitting room.
Harry didn't relax yet, still clinging to Malfoy even as they walked inside. He was holding the remaining ice cream cone in his other hand and it was making it go slightly numb from the coldness, but he didn't notice or care.
Draco settled Potter in an armchair and then knelt in front of him. "You going to eat that?" he asked, looking at the ice cream melting down the man's hand.
Harry lifted his hand and began to lick at the caramel and vanilla ice cream that was dripping down his fingers and slim wrist without much thought. "There were so many people ....”
Draco swallowed hard, watching Potter's tongue slide over his own fingers and then lick at his lips. The blond unconsciously ran his tongue over his own lips. "Um, yes," he said.
"Thanking me again," Harry continued, making sure to get it all off before he started on the ice cream in the cone. "I wish they'd stop."
"I understand," Draco said softly, struggling to focus on his job and not that tongue. "You did something amazing, but they don't understand what it cost you."
"I know, I just ....” Harry bit his lip, looking down at his ice cream cone and licking around the edge.
"You don't remember any of it? Not even in your dreams?" Draco asked, settling down onto both knees now as he looked up at the other man.
"I remember everything in my dreams," Harry said sadly, holding the ice cream out for Malfoy. He had noticed that the other man didn't have a cone.
Draco smiled at him and leaned forward, taking a lick of the ice cream.
"I just can't remember all of that," Harry sighed, leaning in as well to take a lick of his own.
Draco drew back, giving him room, but his eyes were drawn to the other man's mouth, watching him as if hypnotised.
Harry kept holding it out for Malfoy, so they could continue to share it that way. "I just ... sometimes I don't feel like I deserve all of that." Harry was admitting more than he ever had before.
"Why not?" Draco asked quietly, alternating licks on the ice cream with the other man. He understood Harry was frightened of crowds, but wanted to get a better sense of why people's gratitude upset him.
"Because I can't remember any of it," Harry repeated, looking down. "How do I know if I was even the one to do it?"
"There were Death Eaters who survived and were questioned under Veritaserum," Draco said softly. He didn't add that Potter had still been clutching Voldemort's wand when he was found.
Harry swallowed and sighed, sure that there was no way to deny that. The ice cream was melting again so Harry concentrated on just that, licking it so it didn't drip down his hand again.
Draco sat on his knees, quietly watching the other man. He felt they had made a lot of progress today. Harry had actually spoken with someone besides Draco and had behaved nearly normally. He smiled, eyes drawn to a spot of ice cream on the man's chin, resisting the urge to rub it off, or even better, lick it clean. Not an option, he reminded himself.
Harry eventually ate enough of the cone to satisfy himself, and held it out for Draco to have the rest. "Thank you again, Malfoy.”
Draco took the remains of the cone from him, nibbling at it. After a moment, he cocked his head. "Do you like calling me that?"
"It's your name," Harry said, pulling his knees up to his chest and sighing. He felt tired now.
"It's my family name," Draco said. "You know my name."
"Draco," Harry said, the name sounding strange in his mouth. And yet, it felt better than "Malfoy" because that name also meant someone he didn't like to think about. "Draco," he said again.
Draco smirked a bit at that and nodded. "Do you like it when I call you Harry?" he asked. He knew he had slipped into using it more lately.
"Okay.” Harry nodded, thinking that it made more sense given that they were living together. That train of thought led him to wonder things about the other man that he hadn't yet answered. He wrapped his arms around his legs tightly. "Draco?"
"Yes, Harry?" the blond answered.
"Why aren't you married?" Harry asked.
Draco's eyes widened and his brows shot up. That hadn't been a question he had expected. True, most pure-bloods were married before they were out of their teens. But Harry hadn't asked anything about his life since he started working with him. It took him a minute to try to compose an answer. "I guess I haven't found the right person," he said.
"I'm holding you back," Harry said softly, resting his chin on the top of his knees. Draco should have a home of his own, some place more important than being here with Harry.
"I am doing my job, Harry," Draco said, though he knew it was far from the entire truth. Most Healers did not live with their patients. "I am not particularly interested in dating at this point," he continued.
"You've never loved anyone before?" Harry asked, rocking slightly. He didn't know why the subject upset him, but it did.
Draco frowned, noticing the body language. Harry was agitated. "So why does my love life, or lack of one, bother you?" he asked.
"I'm holding you back,” Harry whispered, biting his lip.
"No, I am right where I want to be at this point," Draco assured him. "Why? You think I am getting old?" he teased then, hoping to get Harry to smile.
But Harry didn't smile. "Yes," he replied honestly. "You have your whole life ahead of you ....”
"Yes, and I am only twenty-two. Did you know your birthday is coming up?" he asked, reminded of it now. And he was more comfortable steering this conversation away from his absent private life. Truth was that he had had lovers, but no one who he wanted to stay with, no one who mattered to him. And no one to whom he mattered anymore.
Harry went still, watching Draco. "It is?"
"Yes, today is the sixteenth of July," Draco said. "You do remember your birthday, don't you?"
Harry remembered his birthday, but he couldn't remember the last time it was celebrated. "The thirty-first," he whispered.
"Yes," Draco encouraged. "Is there something you would like for your birthday? Something you would want to do?"
"I don't know," Harry said, shaking his head. There was one thing ... but Harry didn't think he was ready for it. And he certainly didn't think the other man would agree to it.
"It's still a couple weeks away, so you let me know if you think of anything," Draco said. He smiled as he finished the last bit of cone, licking his fingers as he did.
Harry looked down at Malfoy's hand for a moment, slowly beginning to rock in his seat again. Something about the way Draco licked his lips stirred something in him and he wasn't sure how to handle it. "Okay," he said, taking a deep breath.
"You must be tired," Draco said. "Do you want a nap? Can I get you anything?"
"Nap," Harry said, reaching out for Draco.
Draco got to his feet and took Harry's hands, leading the man up to the bedroom. He sat him down on the bed, and knelt again to remove his shoes and socks.
"Will you stay?" Harry asked, slowly pulling off his shirt and holding it out for Draco to take.
Draco set the clothing aside. "You want me to stay in here?" he asked.
Harry shrugged and laid down on the bed. "If ... if you want," he said hesitantly, reaching for the blanket. Something told him that he'd be having yet another nightmare, but now he knew that having Draco near him seemed to help.
"Harry," Draco said softly, moving to tuck him in again. "The question is what do you want."
Harry bit his lip, but nodded, not used to having anyone even bother to ask what he wanted, let alone actually giving it to him. "I want you to stay," he whispered.
"Do you want me to sit beside the bed again?" Draco asked, willing to do that but realising his back still hurt from the night before.
"No, lay down with me," Harry said, remembering the look of discomfort on Draco's face.
Draco arched an eyebrow. It was improper, but maybe if he left his clothes on .... He nodded, removing his own shoes and socks. "Move over," he said.
Harry was already comfortable on his spot in the bed. He always slept in it. He didn't want to move, but there was no space on the other side of the bed for Draco to get in, so he ended up shifting over to the side.
Draco lay down on the bed, a little nervous when he didn't know what to do.
Harry didn't move closer, but he held out his hand for Draco to take.
Draco smiled and took his hand, lying on his back and trying to relax. He knew he should not enjoy holding the man's hand this much. Yet, there was something that just felt right about it to him.
Harry was afraid of getting closer to Draco, even when he knew for a fact that the man had said he wouldn't hurt him. That was something Harry wanted, to not be afraid anymore. To be able to control his own mind, and to be who he couldn't exactly remember being years ago. To love someone. To be loved in return. He looked at Draco, biting his lip in thought.
Draco turned his head to look at the other man. He could see a struggle behind those green eyes and wasn't sure how to interpret it. "Does this work?"
"Yes.” Harry blushed softly and looked down at their hands before closing his eyes for sleep.
Draco smiled and tried to relax. He watched as Harry drifted off to sleep. He remembered the way he used to watch Potter in school. He had had years to think about what their rivalry had meant to him. He found himself wondering about the question Harry had posed. Why couldn't Draco find someone to settle down with, to love? The simple truth was that he didn't know the answer.