Never Piss Off a House-Elf

"We leave you alone to talk and you've been snogging?!" Ron yelled from the doorway. Hermione was still clasped in Severus's arms, tense and close to tears.


"Mr. Weasley, you may stop ranting at my . . . fiancée," Severus said, tasting the title on his mouth. More than that, however, he was enjoying the pain on the younger man's face. It was high time he received recompense for having to teach such a large family of dunderheads. "I believe you should be congratulating us on such a fortuitous union."


"You're a bastard!" Ron yelled, and Albus put his hand on the redhead's shoulder. Ron stopped and looked at him. "But, Sir."


"Mr. Weasley, I am afraid our Potion's Master is correct. When one cannot change something, one does best to accept it," Albus said, trying to comfort the boy. "But perhaps for today we can forget about the pain caused by this edict and instead focus on the joy it will bring in the end."


Harry and Ginny shared a look from behind the Headmaster and Ron. They'd jumped through the hoops, and they knew they would be happy, but they worried about Ron. Everyone worried about Ron. He only ever seemed right with Harry and Hermione.


"Severus, if you would join me, I would like to speak with the rest of the Order about this development. We'll let the four of you," the Headmaster turned to the teenagers, "get re-acquainted. Plenty has happened since you departed from one another."


The men left and Hermione was faced with her friends.


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"Albus, I can't believe that you've let this go so easily," Severus said, eyes on his employer, mentor and friend. Albus stopped in the hall and looked at his friend.


"I have no choice, but do not think I am entirely glad for this situation," Albus said seriously. "You know better than to sign anything without thoroughly examining it. I have always desired great happiness for you, my dear boy. I will admit that I hoped this edict would force that happiness upon you."


"Am I now supposed to think that you are behind this?" Severus said, smirking. "I think even you know better than that by now. I don't suppose you have a solution to this up that crescent moon-encrusted sleeve of yours?"


"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."


"Why didn't you share it with Miss Granger and myself?"


"Severus, you should get used to her name."


"But you said you have a solution."


"I do. Marry her, have a child, and find a way to love one another."


Severus choked as the Headmaster made his pronouncement. "That's not exactly what I thought you'd say when you said you had a solution for us, Albus."


"Severus, I can't give you a solution that doesn't exist. You two share the blame for this situation, and you will share responsibility for making it work. You can trust me when I say that while I wished happiness for the two of you, I believe I should have been more specific as to with whom. Be happy that I am the first to know of this; I expect Minerva will be descending upon you at any minute to demand reparation for her dearest student," Albus said quietly. "That aside, I will do everything in my power to make this easier for the two of you."


"Albus, that doesn't change the fact that I am her instructor, and have been for the last six years. Surely this won't stand legally, and she'll have this year to get sorted out," Severus said, but he was thinking more that in the coming year he could. . . but there was no hope for it. He just wanted to put the entire thing off for a year.


"No. This is already being dealt with at some of the smaller institutions, people marrying employees and employers, students with their instructors, and the like. For the time being, this is the norm."


The two men started walking again, silence gathering around them like a cloud. the arrived at the kitchen door and stopped. Albus moved aside.


"You first, my boy."


Severus glared at the Headmaster. Minerva would probably descend on him almost immediately.


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Back in the sitting room, Hermione was fielding questions from her friends, some of them concerned, some jealous, and some of the questions down right lewd. Of course, the concerned questions came form Harry, the jealous and nasty ones from Ron, and the particularly lewd ones from Ginny, which proved to lead to even more fun: Ron had no idea that his baby sister knew which questions to ask.


Ron chased Harry around the room for a few minutes before Hermione had stopped laughing at them long enough to cast mild stunners on each. Ginny bat-bogeyed her brother for good measure, and set about comforting Harry. Ron looked longingly at Hermione, who shook her head.


"I'm sorry, Ronald, but the magic won't let me. And I can't risk the magic throwing you again, as it did earlier," Hermione said, her eyes soft. Ron looked pinched, as if he were an allergic suddenly not allergic to peanut butter, but it wasn't made anymore.


"'S'alright, 'Mione," Ron said, his voice hoarse from yelling at Harry. He cut his eyes to his best mate and his sister. "Why didn't you tell me they were ~-- y'know. . ."


Hermione laughed. "And get myself bat-bogeyed by the bat-bogey queen? Sorry, Ron, but it was just something you'd have to learn on your own."


Everything calmed down for a few minutes, and then the real questions started.


"When are you going to have the ceremony?" Harry asked, pushing his glasses back into place.


"I have no idea. I guess I'd rather it be towards the end of the school year, if not right after graduation. It isn't as if we've had any time to discuss it," Hermione responded, chewing on a lock of hair.


"Ya, you were too busy being busy to talk about it earlier," Ginny giggled, and Hermione glared at her. She couldn't speak of what Snape had told her, but she didn't think she'd share something so personal even if she could.


"What about the whole kids thing?" Ginny asked, more seriously.


"That's why I want to put off the wedding itself. From betrothal, the couple has one year to wed; from the wedding, the couple has one year to conceive," Hermione said, making a face. "Conceive. With the Professor. Rearing children. With the Professor."


"But, 'Mione, you never wanted kids," Ginny whispered, leaning close to her friend. She was trying to be quiet, but Ron was sitting too close.


"You didn't want kids?" Ron asked, his eyes wide. He'd had plans, and obviously they were quite different from Hermione's. "But if it were you and me. . . "


"No, Ron, I didn't really want kids, not even with you. Now I don't have a choice," Hermione said miserably. "I dreamed about them, but I would never make a good mother! I like to study, and to learn. Not change diapers and make dinner!"


Ron and Ginny stared at Hermione for a moment before they both got up and left without another word. Hermione saw that and dropped her head into her hands. Harry patted her back in a soothing way, but he wanted to tell her she shouldn't have said those words. Instead, he kissed her on the cheek, speaking before he left her as well.


"Hermione, have a little faith in yourself. If things get bad, Ginny and I can help, once she cools off," Harry said, slipping out of the room and closing the door behind himself.


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AN: Wow, sorry about that. I'll admit that Hermione's having some very common conflicts (read: I've felt that way myself) running through her head. And Albus ~-- my, my. I like the fact that he's not orchestrating this whole thing, but rather accepting it and offering some very solid advice. His solution makes sense, even if this all seems kind of defeatist. I got tired of reading all the Deatheater plot ML stories, and then you add the ones where our favorite Headmaster plotted the whole thing. . . I mean, he likes to meddle, but usually he meddles in a way that is not completely and uttering binding (Yes, I remember the Dursleys. Them aside. . . )