Saving your life

He could hear sounds, or at least he thought so. It was more like a buzz actually. Everything was dark, but he wasn’t sure he had his eyes open. He tried to move but his whole body felt too heavy. He didn’t even feel pain, but he knew he was hurt. The noise was closer now, he was almost sure someone was talking. Then he drifted back to calmness.

He felt pressure under his body, like dozens of hands lifting him from the ground, and that voice was there again. He felt something going down his throat and he chocked. He started coughing and all the pain came back, but just for a few seconds. Then it all went away.

The next thing he felt was something warm and wet on his forehead. He tried to open his eyes again, but as he did, the light from the outside blinded him. He parted his lips, tried to get up, but was he really moving? He couldn’t tell. The hands on him were careful; whoever it was wasn’t trying to hurt him, and that was confusing. He passed out again.

He was kneeling in a dark room, where he could only see the shape of his Master towering over him. “Severus” he said, and he could hear the venom in his voice. He was hit by a Crucio, his own screams echoing in his ears. After what felt like an eternity, the curse was lifted, and as he gasped for breath, he heard him speak again.

“I am disappointed in you, Severus. I believe you know what that means.”

“I’m sorry, Master, but it wasn’t my fault. There was nothing I could do, they had been tipped off,” he didn’t even hear him cast the curse before it hit him, searing pain all through his body again.

He opened his eyes startled, but found himself in a different place. There was light coming from a window and it hurt his eyes. The pain was still there, but he felt better, stronger.
With all the strength, he could gather and lifted his upper body slightly. The room looked familiar, but he couldn’t place it. Then he saw a figure walk through the open door. The voice of a woman calling his name as the things she was carrying fell to the floor.

He heard a mumble, but couldn’t make out the words. He was dizzy and confused, he couldn’t think straight. Tender hands pushed his shoulders back onto the bed, as the woman leaned over him, one of her hands now on his forehead.
The room was beginning to clear in front of his eyes, and he could finally recognize the figure sitting next to him.

“Miss Granger?” he asked uncertainly

“Thanks God you’re awake. I was so scared,” he could hear her voice shaking.

“What’s happened?”

“I don’t know. I just found you here, unconscious and bleeding. You were burning up. I’m so glad you’re awake, I didn’t know what else to do, I was about to go find some help.”

“I… I don’t…”

“Shhh,” she interrupted “you need to rest now. Take this, it will help you sleep,” she said, as she carefully lifted his head and helped him drink from a glass. Just a few more seconds and everything went dark again.


He was back in the black room. He didn’t want to be there.
He was screaming again, and he could hear his Master laughing.

“You said someone told them you were going.”

“Yes, My Lord,” he said. Perhaps if he kept talking he wouldn’t hurt him anymore. “I had told you I thought there was a spy among us, Sir.”

“Who?” he asked, but his voice didn’t show any interest.

“I think it was Nott, Sir. He tried to kill me when I attacked one of them.”

“Nott is dead.”

“Yes, Master. I had to do it to stop him.”

“Well, that’s extremely convenient, isn’t it, Severus?”

“I’m telling you the truth, Sir.”

“Even if you are, you still were the one in charge of the mission. I’ve lost many followers, and got nothing in return.” Another curse aimed at him and his screams filled the room again.


“Professor.”

The voice sounded so far away he could barely hear it. He felt warm hands on his face again, then the voice grew closer, and he slowly opened his eyes.

“Professor, wake up.”

“Wha… where am I?”

“We’re in your house in Ireland, don’t you remember coming here?”

“What’s happened?” he asked, as he carefully tried to get up from the bed. Pain shot through his body as he did it, and she helped him sit, leaning him against the headboard.

“You were twisting in bed and screaming. I think you were dreaming.”

“What are you doing here?” she looked a bit taken aback at first but then answered in a shy voice.

“Well, I hadn’t heard from you in a few days and was worried. I came here to see if you were alright.”

“Days? How long has it been?”

“Well, I came here five days after the attack.”

“Five days?” he asked, shocked

“Well, yes. I had been looking for you before that, but I didn’t think of coming here till then,” she answered, sounding guilty “that was almost two days ago.”

“What?”

“You were unconscious when I found you, barely breathing. I was so scared.” She whispered the last part, looking down at the floor. She took a deep breath and continued. “I didn’t know what to do. There were some potions here, but they didn’t have any tags on, so I didn’t really know what they were. I found some ingredients and brewed a few potions myself, but I wasn’t sure they would work.”

“What potions?” he asked. His head was slowly starting to clear.

“Well, a few blood replenishing ones, since you had bled quite a lot. I also made basic healing potions and a few more for the pain. I found some helpful books on the library.”

He looked down at himself. He was wearing only his underwear, but his skin was covered in a mixture of blood and potions.

“The problem was the fever wouldn’t go away. You were hallucinating, I think. I tried a few more potions for it, but they just wouldn’t work. I had decided I would have to go find you some help when you woke up.”

They stayed in silence for a few moments, and then she finally sighed and stood up.

“You really should get some more rest. I’ll go downstairs and make something to eat; you’ll need your strength.” She was just walking out the door when she turned around and looked back at him “I’m really glad you’re better,” she said, and left before he had time to say anything else.


A few minutes passed, or maybe more, he couldn’t tell. He decided he needed to get up; he wasn’t one to stay put.

Slowly he moved to the side of the bed and then stood up, ignoring the pain. He put on a robe and, leaning on the walls for support, he carefully made his way out the room and then down the stairs, almost tripping a few times.

By the time, he got to the kitchen he was sweating from the effort and shaking from the pain. The moment she heard him she ran to his side and helped him sit on one of the chairs.

“What were you thinking, walking down here all by yourself?” she said bossily, as she walked back to the sink.

He wasn’t used to having anyone worry about him, and it was making him feel uncomfortable.

She put the food on the table in front of him and then went back to cleaning up the kitchen the Muggle way.

He wasn’t sure what it was, it looked like some kind of soup, but as he started eating he realized just how hungry he was.

He had almost finished eating when she finally broke the silence. She turned around, leaned on the sink, and with a worried expression she asked

“Voldemort did this to you, didn’t he?” he winced at the name, but answered anyway.

“What did you think would happen? You thought he would be pleased to hear so many Death Eaters had been caught, especially when I had told him we would certainly win? I’m lucky I’m still alive,” his voice was cold, brisk, and he could see she was hurt by his manners.

“But he thinks you’re faithful to him, doesn’t he? Why would he hurt you?”

“You’re so naïve. You think he cares about that? He tortured me for almost five days because I was in charge of the attack. If I hadn’t convinced him Nott was the one who had warned the Order about the plan I would be long gone by now. That’s just the way it is.”

A few moments passed, and she kept staring at him, trying to understand.

“You can’t go back,” she said, her voice just above a whisper

“Of course I can, it’s my job. You think it’s the first time something like this happens to me? It’s what you get when you’re a spy.”

“It shouldn’t be like that.”

He simply looked away. He couldn’t bring himself to answer. She didn’t need to know about all the bad things that happened to people. She should be with her friends, living a normal life. Away from him.

“I’ll need your help with some potions. I can’t brew them myself but I’ll give you the instructions,” he said, changing the subject

“Of course,” she answered quickly.

They spent the next few hours busy, barely talking to each other, and for that, he was grateful. The new potions would heal the remaining wounds and take away the pain, and he took them gladly. That was all he needed. She helped him back up the stairs and onto the bed, and he quickly fell asleep.

By the time he woke up the sky was dark again. He tentatively moved his arms and legs and was glad to find the pain was gone. He took a deep breath and got up. He needed a shower, badly.

He was already inside his bathroom, his clothes gone, before he heard the water running. He looked up and saw her figure through the glass.

He should just leave and come back later when she was finished, he told himself, but another voice in his head, one he rarely listened to, told him he should get in there with her. He surely deserved it after what he’d been through. It didn’t have to mean anything, it would be just physical. He was probably still a bit confused after everything that had happened, because he decided to listen to that little voice.

He slowly stepped into the shower, noiselessly, and felt her jump as he put his arms around her. A sneer was already on his face as she turned around, her chest heaving.

“You scared me,” she said, scowling, but any trace of anger left her face as he leaned in to kiss her.

After only a few seconds, she broke the kiss. “You’re all dirty,” she said, pushing a lock of hair back behind his ear and pulling him under the water. Her hands were soon all over his body, caressing until there was no trace of blood left.

Even after he was already clean, her hands kept roaming, and soon found their way down to his already throbbing erection. He felt her fingers close around him, slowly moving up and down.

He rested his head against the wall and watched her face through hooded eyes. She was looking intently at him, taking in his every reaction, repeating any movement that seemed to give him pleasure. Soon she picked up a pace that had him hissing and gasping uncontrollably, and he could see the smug look on her face.

“Enough,” he finally groaned, when he felt he could hold back no more. He grasped her by the shoulders and pushed her against the cold wall, trapping her with his body. He crashed his lips on hers in what felt like a mind-blowing kiss, as he let his hands wander through her body. He kissed his way down the side of her jaw and her neck, nibbling as he moved to her breasts. She buried her fingers in his hair and pushed him closer, arching against him at the same time, and he knew the smug smile on his face was just like the one he’d seen on her earlier.

His lips went back to her neck but his hands moved lower, reaching her core. He started rubbing her clit, but stopped as he felt her orgasm building up. He heard her groan in frustration, and after a few seconds, his thumb was moving again, stopping for the second time before she could reach her climax.

“Stop that already,” she said irritably as she moved her arms around his thighs and pushed him closer to her.

“As you wish,” he whispered in her ear and lifted both her legs, resting them around his waist as he entered her.

After just a few seconds, he felt her tense around him, crying out in ecstasy.

He started moving faster, and could hear her back hitting the wall with every thrust. She pulled his head closer and kissed him, their tongues fighting and their bodies moving as one.

He felt her hands on his back, her nails sinking in his skin, and he had to admit he loved the feeling. Her legs drawing him closer, deeper, her head pushed back, her eyes closed and a moan escaping her lips as he bit the sensitive spot behind her ear.

It felt like time had stopped, like there was nothing but the two of them there and then, nothing else mattered. He had never felt that way, but he was just too amazed to feel scared.

She was tensing around him again, her muscles clenching and driving him crazy, and they both came at the same time, groaning and gasping for breath.

They stayed together like that for a few moments, recovering their strength, and finally he broke contact. He looked deep into her eyes and then moved closer to her face, their lips touching, just a light brush as he whispered ‘thank you’, and they both knew he wasn’t talking about what had just happened.

Then he just turned around and stepped out of the shower, stopping just long enough to say, “I have to go back.”