Up the Duff
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
31
Views:
26,381
Reviews:
172
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
31
Views:
26,381
Reviews:
172
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Revenge and Hangovers
:::::::::
Eventually Tom Riddle decided that he couldn’t really be too angry at Lucius Malfoy for slipping Severus Snape a few drops of... Ummmm... “relaxing” potion.
Severus was sleeping with his wife and also going to be the one that Lucius grandchild would know as its grandfather after all. Considering the circumstances, Tom was well aware that Lucius could have done much worse.
They eventually peeled Severus up off the floor of his potions classroom and carried him off to bed. The potions masters pupils were dilated, and he was as dizzy as a loon but it would seem that there had been no permanent harm done.
“So that’s it then Lucius?” Tom inquired. “No further revenge on Severus. I have your word on that.”
“Yes, yes.” Lucius agreed. “I swear it... of course.....”
“What?” Tom eyed him suspiciously.
“Well....” Lucius smirked, “there is a small chance that he might have a TEENSY hangover when he wakes up.”
“A hangover?”
“Yes.”
“But you’ll do nothing else to harm him in any way.”
“Nothing else.” Lucius grinned. “On my word as a wizard.”
Severus slept for several hours. He awoke to feeling a pain in his head like Hell itself wouldn't have it.
“Ahhhhhh....” Narcissa cooed softly as she noticed he was conscious. The small sound sent hot knives of agony slicing through his brain.
“Professor!” Draco smiled down at him brightly. Then his Godson, who he had always liked until that very moment by the way, did the unthinkable. He yelled. “Severus is awake Harry!”
It hurt so bad. Severus would have sworn on a stack of potions text that he could actually see the pain. It was a pure white mist in his peripheral vision.
“He does seem to be in quite a bit of discomfort.” Tom observed, watching as Snape tried to bury his head up under his pillow in self defense.
“Yes.” Lucius smiled evilly. “Poor baby.”
Draco and Narcissa kept trying to coax him out from under his pillow. Severus felt a warm body settle down on his other side and knew that it had to be Potter, come to join the party. Yay!
“Severus!” Narcissa tugged at the pillow. “Come out so I can give you a hangover potion.”
Severus dared to peek out at the mention of hangover potion. “There you are.” Narcissa smiled. “Now just stay there and ill get the potion.”
Reluctantly Severus nodded, even though the moonlight shining through the window was clearly trying to stab out his eyeballs.
Draco patted his hand. “There, there.... It will all be all better soon.”
Severus gave his Godson a cynical look. Narcissa must have had the hangover potion stashed somewhere in Siberia and under several unbreakable locking spells considering how long it was taking her to fetch it. HOURS had gone by. (approximately 30 seconds)
Potter kept breathing beside him. Severus was fairly positive that he was doing it on purpose. Probably so. Sperm Donors were notoriously spiteful and loud, huffy creatures by nature.
Finally, Narcissa returned to the room and held out the tiny vial which Severus snatched from her and guzzled down his throat. The wondrous elixir began to work, and the throbbing in his head abated almost immediately.
Severus sank back on his pillow with a soft sigh of relief. Thank Merlin for hangover potions.
“So.... that’s it then.” Tom Riddle sighed. “You swear.”
“I did, and I do swear.” Lucius smiled, “I will do NOTHING ELSE in any way harmful to Severus Snape.”
Tom breathed a sigh of relief.
“Of course....” Lucius looked thoughtful.
“Of course WHAT Lucius?” Tom snapped. “You said you wouldn’t do anything else.”
“Oh, its nothing really.” Lucius assured him. “I was just wondering if I had forgotten to mention the slight delayed LAXATIVE effect of this particular potion.”
The words had barely left Lucius’s mouth before Severus stomach let out a sound like glass rolling over gravel and the potions master made a sudden frantic lunge for the lavatory door. Slamming it firmly shut behind him.
“Severus!” Draco called, as he hesitatingly knocked at the door. “Are you okay?”
From the other side of the bathroom door came the most hideous shriek any of them had ever heard, followed by a string of vulgarity so inventively crafted, it could only have been equaled by his own father.
SQUIRT! FART! PlUbBUBbUBTUTtt!!! SkLoOPOoORoshhh!!!
Deep in the forbidden forest werewolves began to howl.
“Ummmmm.... Sev?”
SPLAT! Blut! plut! SprRploOoAoOoROsh! Fart! Fart!
“We’ll just umm... Come back later.” Draco said as he held his nose and dragged a pitilessly cackling Harry Potter-Malfoy off his godfathers bed.
FART! Splaaaaat! Splurrrttth! Glug! Spliisssssshhhhh! FLAART!
Narcissa held her nose with one hand and waved goodbye to them with the other.
Unnnnh! Unnnnh! Spllloooosh! BlARARAaT! Squirt! Squirt!
“Malfoy.” Tom Riddle whispered, visibly in awe. “I think I could have loved you.”
From the other side of the door, Severus Snape yelped like a shot dog.
Kersploooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Ahhhhggggggggggg!!!!!!!! Kluruuuuppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!
Lucius winked at Tom. “What’s not to love?”
TBC..
Eventually Tom Riddle decided that he couldn’t really be too angry at Lucius Malfoy for slipping Severus Snape a few drops of... Ummmm... “relaxing” potion.
Severus was sleeping with his wife and also going to be the one that Lucius grandchild would know as its grandfather after all. Considering the circumstances, Tom was well aware that Lucius could have done much worse.
They eventually peeled Severus up off the floor of his potions classroom and carried him off to bed. The potions masters pupils were dilated, and he was as dizzy as a loon but it would seem that there had been no permanent harm done.
“So that’s it then Lucius?” Tom inquired. “No further revenge on Severus. I have your word on that.”
“Yes, yes.” Lucius agreed. “I swear it... of course.....”
“What?” Tom eyed him suspiciously.
“Well....” Lucius smirked, “there is a small chance that he might have a TEENSY hangover when he wakes up.”
“A hangover?”
“Yes.”
“But you’ll do nothing else to harm him in any way.”
“Nothing else.” Lucius grinned. “On my word as a wizard.”
Severus slept for several hours. He awoke to feeling a pain in his head like Hell itself wouldn't have it.
“Ahhhhhh....” Narcissa cooed softly as she noticed he was conscious. The small sound sent hot knives of agony slicing through his brain.
“Professor!” Draco smiled down at him brightly. Then his Godson, who he had always liked until that very moment by the way, did the unthinkable. He yelled. “Severus is awake Harry!”
It hurt so bad. Severus would have sworn on a stack of potions text that he could actually see the pain. It was a pure white mist in his peripheral vision.
“He does seem to be in quite a bit of discomfort.” Tom observed, watching as Snape tried to bury his head up under his pillow in self defense.
“Yes.” Lucius smiled evilly. “Poor baby.”
Draco and Narcissa kept trying to coax him out from under his pillow. Severus felt a warm body settle down on his other side and knew that it had to be Potter, come to join the party. Yay!
“Severus!” Narcissa tugged at the pillow. “Come out so I can give you a hangover potion.”
Severus dared to peek out at the mention of hangover potion. “There you are.” Narcissa smiled. “Now just stay there and ill get the potion.”
Reluctantly Severus nodded, even though the moonlight shining through the window was clearly trying to stab out his eyeballs.
Draco patted his hand. “There, there.... It will all be all better soon.”
Severus gave his Godson a cynical look. Narcissa must have had the hangover potion stashed somewhere in Siberia and under several unbreakable locking spells considering how long it was taking her to fetch it. HOURS had gone by. (approximately 30 seconds)
Potter kept breathing beside him. Severus was fairly positive that he was doing it on purpose. Probably so. Sperm Donors were notoriously spiteful and loud, huffy creatures by nature.
Finally, Narcissa returned to the room and held out the tiny vial which Severus snatched from her and guzzled down his throat. The wondrous elixir began to work, and the throbbing in his head abated almost immediately.
Severus sank back on his pillow with a soft sigh of relief. Thank Merlin for hangover potions.
“So.... that’s it then.” Tom Riddle sighed. “You swear.”
“I did, and I do swear.” Lucius smiled, “I will do NOTHING ELSE in any way harmful to Severus Snape.”
Tom breathed a sigh of relief.
“Of course....” Lucius looked thoughtful.
“Of course WHAT Lucius?” Tom snapped. “You said you wouldn’t do anything else.”
“Oh, its nothing really.” Lucius assured him. “I was just wondering if I had forgotten to mention the slight delayed LAXATIVE effect of this particular potion.”
The words had barely left Lucius’s mouth before Severus stomach let out a sound like glass rolling over gravel and the potions master made a sudden frantic lunge for the lavatory door. Slamming it firmly shut behind him.
“Severus!” Draco called, as he hesitatingly knocked at the door. “Are you okay?”
From the other side of the bathroom door came the most hideous shriek any of them had ever heard, followed by a string of vulgarity so inventively crafted, it could only have been equaled by his own father.
SQUIRT! FART! PlUbBUBbUBTUTtt!!! SkLoOPOoORoshhh!!!
Deep in the forbidden forest werewolves began to howl.
“Ummmmm.... Sev?”
SPLAT! Blut! plut! SprRploOoAoOoROsh! Fart! Fart!
“We’ll just umm... Come back later.” Draco said as he held his nose and dragged a pitilessly cackling Harry Potter-Malfoy off his godfathers bed.
FART! Splaaaaat! Splurrrttth! Glug! Spliisssssshhhhh! FLAART!
Narcissa held her nose with one hand and waved goodbye to them with the other.
Unnnnh! Unnnnh! Spllloooosh! BlARARAaT! Squirt! Squirt!
“Malfoy.” Tom Riddle whispered, visibly in awe. “I think I could have loved you.”
From the other side of the door, Severus Snape yelped like a shot dog.
Kersploooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Ahhhhggggggggggg!!!!!!!! Kluruuuuppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!
Lucius winked at Tom. “What’s not to love?”
TBC..