TRYING TO REMEMBER

It was close to eight o’clock and Sirius was jittery. Remus has been woken to eat something they gave him a clear liquid diet since he hadn’t eaten in a few days and might still be feeling the effects of having the tube down his throat. Remus was content at making small talk.

“Can we talk about Harry?”

“Sure.”

“How old is he?”

“Eighteen.”

“Did you raise him after you know?”

“No. His aunt and uncle did.”

“He looks troubled for such a young man.”

“He’s had a lot to deal with. Remus had you thought about what I asked you before? About checking yourself out?”

“Sirius I don’t think I’m ready and if the doctors don’t agree I can’t do it.”

“You’ll be going to a good hospital.”

“What’s the name of it I’ll ask around and if it’s as good as you say then I’ll go.”

Sirius heard footsteps. He looked around and there was Ron Weasley who just nodded his head.

“About time.”

“Remus, this is Ron Weasley. He’s a friend of Harry’s”

Remus stuck out his hand, “Very glad to meet you.”

Pulling Ron aside.

“I thought you were never going to show up.”

“Fred and Lee got busy, and this stuff isn’t legal to sell you know. It cost a fair few galleons.”

“They charged you?”

“Only Harry doesn’t get charged.”

“Did you tell them what it was for?”

“No you said keep it a secret.”

“I’ll get your money back it’s the least they can do for the marauders.”

“Is everything okay over there?”

“Sure Remus.”

Sirius then heard a slight tap on the window. If people ever looked up they would see two people levitated in front of a window. But it was Hermione and Harry on a borrowed thestral. This is a magical beast that can only be seen if you remember witnessing a death.

Sirius turned to Remus, “Sorry babe.”

Pointed his wand and Remus was unconscious. Ron did a warming drew the curtain and did a warming charm on the room. Harry made the window disappear. Sirius pointed his wand at the closet and magically dressed him of what was left of his clothes. It seems the hospital in it’s fury to treat him cut them up pretty bad. Sirius lifted Remus out of his bed. He wrapped his cloak around him and placed him between Harry and Hermione. Harry sitting behind him tapped his head for the disillusionment charm he did the same to himself and Hermione did as well.

“Take care of him. See you at St. Mungo’s.”

“Ron, are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be. You know I fancy Hermione and I won’t really be Remus.”

“Afraid I’ll fuck you right here or something. Please you may have the equipment but doesn’t mean you know how to use it.”

“Hermione thinks I’m good.”

“You’re her first and probably be her only. She wouldn’t know what hit her if either I or Remus got a hold of her, especially if Remus got a hold of her. Got the potion? Here’s the hairs.”

“Sirius where did you get it since they shaved his head and his beard.”

“Don’t ask.”

“Oh gross.”

“Just drink it.”

Ron drank the potion and a few minutes later he was transformed into Remus Lupin.

“Let’s get Remus out of here hopefully it won’t take too long.”

“Hi Diane, Remus wants to check himself out.”

“I don’t think that’s advisable.”

“Not that the staff here isn’t brilliant but he needs to go where they can really help him.”

“We need to run more test.”

“They can do it there.”

“Let me get a doctor.”

“Why don’t we just run?”

“Because then they’ll think I kidnapped you or something.”

“But you did.”

“That’s only because he wouldn’t agree. We have five days before the full moon. You want to explain to the staff what happened to the kind considerate Remus Lupin after the sun goes down.” Ron shook his head no. “Neither do I.”

Finally the doctor on call showed up.

“I want to leave. Thank you for doing all you did for me, but I need to go where they will help me with my memory problem.”

“We’re checking him into here in the morning.” Sirius held out a brochure. “He’s starting to get some of his memories back too.” Sirius looked at Ron sternly. I recognized the red head man as Ron Weasley and now remember that Sirius is my lover. Do you want to hear details?”

“No thank you. We can’t keep you here. Sign the release form. There are three sets you have to sign.” Ron signed all three sets as Remus John Lupin although the first he almost signed as himself. He looked at the clock and was starting to get frantic. The hour was almost up. Sirius was getting nervous too but not only for that reason he knew the spell he put on Remus wouldn’t last much longer. The last thing he wanted was for Remus to wake up at St. Mungo’s without him there.

“We just need to get him a wheelchair.”

“A wheelchair?”

“It’s hospital policy with a head trauma case.”

“I’ll be right back.”

As Diane left Sirius and Ron took off. Ran for the stairwell and apparated.

Diane saw them take off and called security that ran for the stairwell but no one was there. They just disappeared.

Ron and Sirius arrived at St. Mungo’s.

“That was a bit close.”

“The marauders have had closer calls.”

“C’mon I just hope Remus isn’t awake yet.”

Sirius pulled a chair beside Remus. Harry, Hermione and Ron decided to go for a spot of tea in the visitors tea room, though Ron could use something stronger.

“We thought something went wrong.”

“They were just slow. How’s Remus?”

“Slept like a baby.”

Down at the Dai Llewellyn ward, Sirius was holding his hand and stroking his head with his other hand waiting for Remus to stir. The staff couldn’t help but sneak a peak. Here was the notorious Sirius Black in their hospital stroking the head of their favorite patient like there was no one else in the room.

Remus started to stir, he looked around quizzically he was in a room that was a little larger than the one at St. Francis. It had six beds and right now there were only he and another patient there. The room was rather dingy unlike his other hospital room which was clean and sterile. For the first time since he woke up he felt Sirius did not have his best interests at heart.

“Where are we?”

“St. Mungo’s”

“What was wrong with the hospital I was in?”

“It isn’t for you. It doesn’t treat our kind.”

“Our kind? And what is our kind?”

“Witches and Wizards, Remus you’re a wizard.”

Remus was laughing hysterically.

“What are you laughing about?”

“I thought you said wizards.”

“Remus I’m serious.”

“Yes you are and I’m Remus.”

Sirius shook his head and smiled. “I haven’t heard that joke since school. It’s good to hear you laugh.”

“I don’t laugh?”

“We just haven’t had much to laugh at lately? But you are a wizard a very powerful wizard.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What do you think happened in the machine?”

“It short circuited.”

“Those machines just don’t short circuit. Remus you wanted it to stop and it did.”

Sirius went to Remus stuff he grabbed from the hospital. He grabbed his wand and handed it tot him.

“What’s this stick?”

“Your wand. Watch me. Snap your wrist and say Lumos.”

“Sirius.”

“Do it and concentrate.”

Remus snapped his wrist and concentrated. “Lumos.” And his wand lit.

Remus looked bewildered at Sirius “It’s true then.”

“Yes.”

“Can you teach me?”

“Sure and Harry will help. Get some rest you’re going to need it. We’ll talk some more tomorrow.”

Sirius hated leaving Remus but St. Mungo’s was a little stricter than the muggle hospital. He arrived at Grimmauld Place Ron and Hermione were there and they were joined by Ginny who was still on break from school. Sirius grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey placed it on the table.

“Anyone care to join me.”

“We have training tomorrow and Shaklebolt would be none to pleased if we showed up hungover.”

“James and I always did. Drove Moody crazy. We still did better than anyone else. We were a great team your father and I. I really miss him Harry especially times like this. After the shack incident and Remus wasn’t talking to me he was a great strength. I’m gonna need that strength to get through this next week and probably beyond.”

“I know I’m not my father but I’ll be there for you.”

“Kid you know it’s supposed to be the other way around. That’s how it works godfathers are there for their godchildren.”

“Since when were we ever conventional?”

“Since never, I get it.”

“How’s Remus?”

“Well he knows he’s a wizard. Ginny I was hoping if you weren’t busy during the day you could help me teach Remus. Anyone got their first year books or at least the list so I can get them at Florish and Botts.”

Then Sirius remembered the secret compartment in his desk he had his letters there and maybe the books were in the library. His letters weren’t the only things in that compartment. Pictures of he and Remus he wanted to keep hidden from his family. It was such a time on innocence god he was beautiful then, they both were. Not that Remus wasn’t handsome now, it’s just he looks weathered and it just wasn’t the transformations. Book lists that’s what he was up there for. Sirius gathered his Hogwarts letters and started looking through the books sure enough two copies of all of them. In the past Remus was a fast learner he only hoped that stuck.

The next day Sirius walked into St. Mungo’s with a stack of books in his arms.

“When you get a chance Mr. Black I’d like to see you?”

“Let me just put these books down.”

Sirius walked out of the ward to where the healer was standing.

“Is everything ok?”

“We couldn’t administer the Wolfsbane potion he’s going to have a full transformation.”

“I kind of figured that, but I’ll be there with him.”

“I can’t allow that.”

“I’m an animagus, we’ve been transforming for years together.”

“Normally I would let it slide. I like Remus and the staff adores him. But this transformation will be different. It will be like the first one, if you’re in there it could add to the confusion. He could kill himself or even you. As it is might not survive the night. Does he know?”

“I’ll tell him.”

“We can you know.”

“It’s better from me.”

The days passed and the new year was upon them. Remus was excited at all the wonderful things he learned the past few days. He met new people all the time he really enjoyed his visit from Ron’s brother Fred and his friend Lee. But he also noticed something so sad in Sirius’ eyes he sometimes just caught Sirius staring at him.

“What’s the matter?”

“I need to talk to you about a few things. Tomorrow’s the full moon and you need to know something.”

“What does the full moon got to do with anything?”

“Everything. Have you felt moodier lately?”

“That’s just because I’m frustrated.”

“You want blood don’t you? I can see it in your eyes they’re turning gold.”

“What are you talking about!! GET OUT!!! I WAS HAPPY AT THE OTHER HOSPITAL AND THEN YOU BRING ME TO THIS DUMP, TELL ME I’M A WIZARD AND NOW I’M BLOOD THIRSTY?”

“Yeah you are, you see everyone walk by and your ward mates and you want their blood you just don’t know why.”

“Help me Sirius I don’t want to feel this way.”

Sirius walked toward his bed climbed in next to him and held him. “Shhh. Remus I would never lie to you. What I’m about to tell you is the honest truth. You’re not only a wizard, you’re a werewolf.”

“A werewolf?”

“Here’s some of the better books about it.”

“Was there any part of my life when it was happy?”

“There was a time in your life when you were very happy.”