The 'Normal' Life of Harry Potter

Disclaimer: I’m not making any money off of this. I don’t own Harry Potter. Wish I did. Then we’d see a little more HPSS action. Oh yeah...
Note: This is an AU fic. And I don’t care what happened in HBP. I started writing it before, and even though a lot happened in that book this fic isn’t changing. You no like it? Don’t read. Also, this is a yaoi fic which means it has guy on guy action. You no like? You no read! It’s really that simple. It’s also a vampire fic because I have this obsession with vampires. Again, you no like? You no read it! Anything else? It’s a big AU. There’s no way (even if for some reason Harry and Sev did get together in the real books) that they would be vampires and that they’d act the way they do here. Sorry for killing their characters but I have warned you... -dpa06-

-Chapter Nine-

“I brought the picture I was talking about. Is this the guy?” Harry pulled the cloth off the picture so they could see. He held it up so Natalya and Felicia could get a good look at it.

“Oh yeah,” Natalya said, almost immediately. “I’d know James anywhere. That’s definitely him.”

“Mr. Tall-Dark-And-Snarky himself,” Felicia agreed.

Harry covered the picture again, sighing in defeat. Another reminder of Sev. He couldn’t leave this part of his past behind though. He needed these two. Not only would they keep his secret, but they would help him. He picked the picture back up and said a mumbled good-bye to the two women before turning to leave. A hand on his shoulder stopped him. “You must be hungry,” Felicia said from behind Natalya as she took the picture out of his hands and leaned it against the wall. Natalya released his shoulder, but pushed him toward the bed where Felicia now sat. “Come on. Let’s get you fed.”

“You two don’t know how much I appreciate this,” Harry whispered as he kneeled upon the bed and leaned over Felicia slightly. “No idea at all.”

* * * * *

Severus Snape was never a fair man. A hard life early on had taught him that some things needed to be dealt with a harsh hand, and he applied this thought pattern to his teaching methods. He favoured Slytherin House, knowing Voldemort would see anything other than this as a weakness and the key to Severus’ betrayal. When Harry had come along, he’d really hated Gryffindors. But once he saved Harry and began to get to know and love the man, his harshness calmed some. He was a bit more fair, though he still favoured Slytherins for appearance’s sake. But now Harry was gone. And Severus was intolerable. It wasn’t only the students who were complaining either.

“It’s getting ridiculous,” Minerva said to Rolanda. They and a few other teachers were in the teachers’ lounge, drinking coffee and tea and talking about Severus’ recent behaviour. “He snaps at every little thing. If you’re writing with your left hand instead of your right, if you stir with a medal rod instead of a pewter one, if you don’t chew your food enough times! I love Severus as much as any of us, but this has gone too far.”

“Here here!” Filius agreed. “He yelled at me just the other day for putting ‘too much sugar in my tea’. As if there were such a thing!”

“He tried to tell me how to fly,” Rolanda added. Everyone got quiet then.

“He didn’t,” Poppy breathed.

“I most certainly did,” Severus sneered. Everyone turned to see the man leaning against the door. “It was no wonder that we have so many children falling off broomsticks and such with the way she was teaching. I was going to set her straight, because somebody needs to.”

“Allow me to set you straight, Severus Snape,” Minerva growled, standing and pointing her finger square into Severus’ chest. “You think you’re all high and mighty, but you’re not. Somebody needs to set you straight, and soon before you alienate yourself from the few friends you have left.”

“I don’t need any friends. You’re all on the same side anyways. He’s been missing for over two weeks now and none of you have done anything about it. No one has gone to look for him, no one even asks about him. Albus had a replacement in under a day,” he hissed.

“That’s what all this about?” Julia asked. Julia Grapheme was the replacement for Harry. “Look, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done to piss you off, but I think you need to cool it. All you’ve done since I got here was growl at me and stalk me and sneer at me and criticize me. I have just as much right to be here as you do, so take a chill pill. A big chill pill.” The American witch had some good points, and almost everyone agreed with her. However, they also knew that keeping Snape’s temper under wraps was a better option than pointing out that he was wrong. Everyone lay in waiting for Severus to curse the witch back to America.

The potions master stared at the petite woman before him, knowing she could put up a fight when she wanted to. He knew that his anger would beat hers any day though. His left eye twitched as they stared each other down in the teachers’ lounge. Just as began to open his mouth to tell her off for so many imaginary wrongdoings, he felt the pull from the sun. It was going down. Night was approaching. It was time to search for his childe. “I have to go look for Harry,” he announced, then turned and stalked off in a swirl of black robes. The teachers stared after him, some in shock at his abrupt departure, some in relief of that same departure.

* * * * *

The usual nighttime inhabitants of Diagon and Knockturn Alleys were used to seeing Severus by now. They moved out of his way, not stopping to talk to him as he continued on his quest. They all knew he was searching for Harry Potter, though none of them knew why. Reports had said he was off at a training camp to fight Voldemort better. After a few hours in Hogsmeade, Severus made his way to the two closest magical communities and looked there. With the same results. He went back to Hogsmeade and then out to muggle London. Around three am, he returned to Diagon Alley to look one last time before returning to Hogwarts. It was his nightly routine. No one had seen his beloved. No one would ever see him again Severus was sure, but he didn’t want to think those thoughts. Harry was out there somewhere, he just didn’t know where.

So fixed on teaching, avoiding everyone, and searching for Harry he was, he stopped feeding. Only when he was truly hungry did Severus bother with such ‘mundane’ things anymore. Poppy chided him for it often enough, threatening to keep him in the hospital wing if he got much worse. To keep the chit happy, Severus fed every Friday night before going out to search for Harry. That way, he was able to search all weekend without returning to Hogwarts until Monday morning. And this was his schedule month after month.

* * * * *

Harry had returned to his apartment that night and re-hung the picture of him and Sev above his telly. A few days later he bought a journal on his way home form Felicia’s. At first he only wrote simple things in it: what he’d eaten that day, what colour flowers were growing in the fields he could see out his window, what his neighbour had complained about. But soon, it became a healing method for him. After a particularly tiring session with Natalya and Felicia, he grabbed the journal he’d begun to keep and wrote in it. After a few times of beginning to write and then stopping himself, Harry sighed and just started writing his thoughts and feelings down.

I wish Sev were here. I say that every entry, at least twenty times. But it’s the truth. Had he never died, I wouldn’t be here. We’d be snuggled up in bed. Or maybe he’d be screwing my brains out. He was always a better topper than I was. I can only remember a few times when I would sink into him. That just wasn’t me, and we were both quite happy with things the way they were. Fucking Voldemort. Had to go and ruin everything, didn’t he? I swear, I’m going to kill him just so I can die and find Sev. That’s all there is to it. Kill Voldy, kill myself, find Sev. Merlin, that’s depressing. What would you say if you were here now, Sev? If you were reading this right now? Something along the lines of ‘Stupid Gryffindor. Why would you kill yourself and leave all your adoring fans behind? What would the world do without their great and powerful leader, Harry Potter?’ You know I hated my fame; I hated when I had to use it and I hated the way everyone acted around me because of it. If you were here right now, I’d crawl into your lap, and nuzzle your neck, and just fall asleep wrapped up in your arms because I’d know I’d be safe and okay. Everything was okay when you were there. Even when you were sneering at me, for show. That’s all it ever was, a show. It still hurt. I wish I could have told you that. I wish we could have told everyone about us. I’m going crazy in this apartment Sev. If I don’t do something soon... But I’m afraid too. What if someone recognizes me? I can’t go back. I’m tempted to move out of the wizarding world altogether. I used to be a muggle, I can be one again. The only reason I stay now is because I have to defeat Voldemort. Merlin, why was anything placed on the shoulders of someone so young? It ruined my life. I wish you were here, just so I could tell you about all the fears I had when I was younger. I promise, when I see you in the next life, we’re going to talk. Truly talk. But not tonight. Tonight, or rather today, I am going to sleep. Maybe I’ll get a job soon. I got my contacts yesterday. I have blue eyes now. And I don’t wear my glasses. I know you hated them. Well, they’re gone now. I guess this is another good-morning. I know you hated it when I slept in, Sev, but after everything that’s been going on lately, can you really blame me? I know I wouldn’t blame you. I promise to write again soon. Good-morning my sire. ~‘dean’~

Harry blew on the ink to dry it before he closed the book and went to bed. The sun was pulling at him as it rose to its peak in the sky. If he were at Hogwarts with Sev right now, he’d be entering the Great Hall and listening to Sev sneer about how the ‘great Harry Potter had finally decided to grace everyone with his presence’. Harry stripped and slid between the sheets. Tears came unbidden, as they had every night and morning, and he silently cried himself to sleep.

* * * * *

True to his words in his journal, Harry went out to find a job the next afternoon. He walked around Diagon Alley, and Hogsmeade, even thought about going down Knockturn Alley. But Knockturn had Sev written all over it, so Harry kept to the lighter side of the magical community. He finally dropped into a small apothecary and asked for a job. The man asked for references and talent. Harry admitted that he didn’t have any references, but that he had graduated from Hogwarts. He wasn’t at the top of his class, but he was close in the potions department. The man looked thoughtful for a moment before asking who his professor was. When Harry answered Severus Snape, he was hired on the spot.

“Anyone taught by that man who managed to pass with scores like these doesn’t need references,” he had said.

He put Harry to work with small things first: cleaning and sorting. It reminded Harry of detentions when Severus would make him categorize his potions store room or clean cauldrons. After a few weeks, he was allowed to help Mr. Dyson when he brewed potions and things. It wasn’t until the latter part of November that he trusted Harry enough to watch the shop while he was out. Harry proved himself capable of running the small apothecary enough that Mr. Dyson gave him a pay raise, even though Harry assured him it wasn’t necessary.

His cravings had begin to die down a bit, lessening from wanting to feed several times a day to once a day. Although he only fed once a day anyways, the craving had actually left him. December was rolling around. The small amount of happiness he’d allowed his somewhat normal life and new job to bring him was squashed. He missed his friends and Severus all over again. His cravings came back, stronger in his depression. He went shopping, buying presents for Ron, Hermione, the other Weasleys, Minerva, Albus, Filius, Rolanda, Poppy, and Severus. He wrapped them and put them under the tree in his front room. He hung stockings for himself and Severus over the fireplace. He placed other decorations around his home in false happiness and glee. When it got closer to Christmas, he went to the owl post office and had his presents delivered. All except Severus’. That one he left under the tree.

He had to beg Mr. Dyson to let him work on Christmas Day. The man argued that he must have family or friends to visit. When Harry told him he was an orphan and that his lover had died recently, he didn’t mention it again and let him return to the shop early that December morning. They exchanged gifts, neither expecting the other to get him something. Eventually though, Harry had to go back home to his apartment. When he did, he drunk himself into a stupor that would leave him with one hell of a hangover the next morning. Christmas soon passed and the New Year came. Promises he knew he wouldn’t keep were made. Slowly, the Christmas decorations were taken down and put away in a box in Harry’s spare closet. The unopened gifts of his and Sev’s remained unopened in another box in that same closet. January third saw Harry back at work for Mr. Dyson. Seeing as how it was so soon after the holidays they had a lot of customers for hangover brews. Harry laughed inside at these people, knowing that just days ago he had been suffering from the same problem.

* * * * *

Severus growled anytime someone wished him a Happy Christmas. He growled when he saw decorations and festivity and smiling faces and kissing under the mistletoe. He gave out a week’s worth of detentions with Filch if he caught any students out of bed snogging somewhere. When teachers exchanged gifts, he bought simple things they might need and thrust them into the hands of his co-workers before stalking out of the teachers’ lounge in search of his childe once more. When he returned to his chambers that Monday morning, there was a small stack of presents on his kitchen table. He put them in the back of his closet... behind Harry’s dress robes...

He broke down then. He dropped to his knees in the large closet, clutching a dark sapphire robe to his face as he wept as silently as he could. It wasn’t long before Albus came to him, worried when a prefect came to him with the news that the potions master was not in his classroom. He checked the teachers’ lounge and the kitchens since they were on his way before heading to Severus’ chambers. There he was met with the sight of the dour and stern potions master on his knees crying for his lost childe. He moved a hand to his shoulder to comfort him, but Severus recoiled and stood in one fluid movement, tears vanishing immediately.

“Don’t touch me,” he hissed. “You’ve done nothing. And you will continue to do so.” With that, Severus walked out of his chambers and into his classroom, ignoring Albus’ calls for him to go back and listen. He burst into his classroom, slamming the door behind him. The upperclass Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were immediately silent. “Don’t do anything. Don’t say anything. And you will live to see your next class.” He stalked to his desk, sat in his chair, and put his head on his desk. For several minutes it was silent until one Hufflepuff boy leaned over to his neighbour and whispered something. “Mr. Williams, do you have a problem understanding orders?” Severus asked, not raising his head off the desk.

The class looked back and forth from the boy to their professor, wondering how he knew who it was without even looking. When there was no answer, Severus slowly raised his head to look directly at the boy. “Are you deaf then? What part of don’t do or say anything didn’t you understand?” The class looked on his shock as their acerbic teacher’s appearance finally settled in their minds: the normally pale face was so white it was almost transparent; the eyes were narrow, but elongated to give them a look of dilation and reduction; his hair was... unmentionable; his pale lips seemed to stand out even though they nearly matched his skin; the unmistakable tear tracks on his cheeks were probably the most noticeable thing one saw once they got past the paleness. “What?!” he snapped. “Mr. Williams, answer me!”

“N-n-no si-sir,” the boy stuttered.

“And is that an answer to my first question, my second question, or my third question?”

“Fir-first a-and s-second sir.”

“And what of the third?” The bell rang, dismissing them from class. “No one move!”

“I u-understood i-it all, s-sir.”

“Then why did you disobey me, Mr. Williams?”

The boy noticeably swallowed. “Your... your appearance, s-sir.”

“And what is wrong with my appearance?”

“N-nothing!”

“Apparently there is something wrong since you so decided to ignore my commands. So out with it boy.”

He was silent a moment. “You’re so-so pale, sir. Paler than n-normal. A-and you b-been cr-crying.”

Severus’ eyes flashed. “Everyone out of my classroom. I have more classes than just yours to teach.” Nobody needed to be told twice. As soon as everyone was gone, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor first years began to trickle in. One Ravenclaw girl, Lisa Eason, was wearing a red mini skirt that flared slightly with white trimming around the bottom and a red top with the same white trimming around the neck, arms, and bottom. In her hair were different colour greens. All decorations for the upcoming holidays. Her black students robes were sitting on her shoulders as they should be, but simply unbuttoned. Unluckily for her, her professor was already in a bad mood and it was simply getting worse. She and her friend, Valerie Turnbinff, walked to the front of the room and set their books down.

Before sitting, however, Lisa looked at her professor and gasped, “Professor Snape! Are you okay?! You look dreadful!” The few students that were in the classroom already froze and stared, wondering what their short-tempered teacher would do to the poor girl. “Do you need Madame Pomfrey or Professor Dumbledore, sir?” she continued.

“What I need,” Severus said quietly, “is for you to sit down and shut your trap. And close your school robes instantly, you stupid girl! We have a dress code for a reason! That is twenty points from Ravenclaw! Now, sit down.” Lisa immediately sank into her chair, biting her lip to keep from crying. Valerie followed suit, putting her arm around her friend to comfort her in case she started to cry for real. Everyone else sat quickly and silently. “Everyone is to sit down and shut up. No potions, no papers, no work. Just... silence. Think you dunderheads can manage that?”

No one said anything. Class went by and Severus dismiss them as soon as the bell rang. He didn’t even realize it was third period: his period off. When no one came into his class he left directions on the board, in case they decided they felt like coming, and went back to his personal chambers. A glass of brandy was his friend for the next two hours. He skipped lunch and yelled at the house elf you came to bring him a tray. When fourth class came around, Slytherin and Ravenclaw seventh years this time, Severus didn’t enter the class until half way through. His instructions were still on the board:

Sit down. Don’t speak. Don’t do any work.

Don’t touch anything. Don’t. Move.

Unless you’re blinking or breathing.

Luckily, these students had enough common sense to do as the board told them to.

* * * * *

Albus hadn’t let Severus search for Harry during the day unless it was Saturday or Sunday. He had to attend at least one meal in the Great Hall everyday. He had to be nicer in class, or he was to have daily chats with Professor Dumbledore in his office. Severus began to re-teach the simpler potions. He began to pass everyone unless there was something drastically wrong with the potion. He stopped taking points unless absolutely necessary. He didn’t insult people, he didn’t yell at people, he didn’t talk to people. He did what was required of him.

And then his cravings got to him. He’d run out of blood packets and ‘hadn’t had time to order new ones’ in the latter part of November. Now he was paying for it. He needed blood. And soon. Because of his recent behaviour, Albus called him into his office to talk to him. He asked if Severus wanted tea or a lemon drop. Severus accepted both. This put Albus on immediate alert. After pouring the tea, he set the tea pot down and looked his co-worker and friend in the eye. Or tried to, since Severus wouldn’t look up.

“You’re only hurting yourself, doing this,” he began softly. “If Harry were here-”

“But he’s not, because you won’t let me go find him,” Severus interrupted.

“If Harry were here, he’d be sadly disappointed in you. He’d not want you to act this way, as if you were some child demanding attention from a parent. While your attitude change is for the better, the reasons it was changed and the results of the change on you are unhealthy and counterproductive. I think, although I am shocked to hear myself say this, that you need to go back to being Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

“And I think I need to tell you that were Harry here, I wouldn’t be in this depression. I know what it is. I know why it is. I know I need to change. I know I did change. I know that change is not healthy for me. What you need to know is that I don’t give a rat’s arse. Without my childe, my life is useless. He knows, and therefore I am useless as a spy. If you can replace Harry, the best Defense teacher we’ve ever had, in one day then you can replace your best potions teacher in just as much if not less time. I should be out there looking for him. He needs me. I need him.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

“Lunch, two hours ago.”

“Not what I meant.”

“November 27.”

Albus choked on his tea. “You’ve gone without feeding for nearly two months?! What is wrong with you boy?!”

“I am not a boy!” Severus yelled, jumping from his chair and showing an emotion he had not shown in many weeks now: anger. “I am not your pawn! I do not live to do your bidding! I should not have to walk on eggshells around you just because I don’t want to piss you off! Has it ever occurred to you that I have a life? It’s name is Harry Potter! Do you remember him? I do! He’s about yea high with messy black hair, emerald green eyes, black round glasses, a knack for getting into trouble, a saving thing, and a bloody scar on his forehead! He’s supposed to defeat the Dark Lord for you, because he’s another pawn for you to play with. He’s a vampire, and a fairly new one at that! If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find your Golden Boy and bring him back here.”

Severus turned to leave, but was stopped by a few words from Albus. “Go see Natalya.” He froze, then swirled back around. “Yes. I know you haven’t fed because your supply is out and you’d rather die than replenish it. Go. See. Natalya. She will help you once more. Don’t come back until you are the snarky Severus Snape all the students fear and the faculty respects. And if you don’t, I will know. I will be asking Natalya, Severus. Go now.”

With a growl, the potions master stalked out the door, down the stairs, down the hall, out the front doors, and past the apparation wards before apparating to an alley close to Natalya’s ‘workplace’.

* * * * *

‘James’ began to frequent Natalya’s and Felicia’s establishment every Thursday night. At first he was depressed, and they thought of telling him about ‘Dean’. However, when ‘Dean’ came in with a big smile on his face Saturday night, they thought the two had gotten back together. They both continued to frequent the place, but they paid no mind to that. Even ‘James’ began to come out of his depression after a few visits. He was never happy, but he was definitely in a better mood.

In February, Harry decided it was time to take a new step in his life. He needed a companion. Contrary to popular belief, vampires are not solitary creatures. That is one of many reasons that sires and their childe or children remain close in most cases after the childe is turned. Harry went to talk with Felicia and Natalya one Thursday night. He was told he would have to wait because they were with a customer. So he sat and waited for them, for their opinion really mattered to him now. He saw Felicia walk from a hallway toward the man that had told him to wait. She looked over at him, a concerned expression on her face. “Dean? Are you okay? You’re not supposed to be here for two more days.”

“No no. I’m fine Felicia. I just wanted an opinion from you and Natalya. I-”

“Thank you Natalya. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“You know you don’t have to thank us James. We’ve done it before and we don’t mind doing it again. We’ve told you that. Now get out of here. We’ll see you next week. Good bye- Dean?” Natalya had caught sight of Harry and was also wondering why he was there. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

Harry didn’t say anything. What was there to say? ‘James’ was Sev. Sev was dead. Sev... was here. Tears came to his eyes immediately. They went unnoticed. His knees gave out from beneath his as the tears began to freely fall. “Sev,” he gasped out, causing ‘James’ to turn and look and the man on the floor. “I... you... Oh Merlin, you’re alive!” He began to sob loudly as he rubbed the foundation off his forehead to reveal his scar. “Sev,” he sobbed again.

* * * * *

A/N: Ooher! Cliffie of doom! LOL! I finally figured out what was wrong with my computer, so now I can see the chapters I've uploaded as well as all the reviews I've gotten. Also, the ends of some of the chapters have been left off. This makes me sad. I am going to go and fix those. So... Let me reply to all the reviews I haven't replied to yet. *deep breath*

Lioncourt- Yeah, you were the only one who reviewed. And I try to review all the stories I read because I want everyone to review my story. And I know not everyone does, but I am uber grateful to those who do. Like you! *huggles* Also, don't kill Sev in your smothering hug. Not that he needs to breathe or anything, but he is taken. Even if Harry is gone... ~dpa06~

hermione said so- Thanks for the review. Yes, I had to make that chapter sad because... just like you said. Severus is alive, but Harry doesn't know it and has run off. It's just... *sigh* sad. Thanks again. ~dpa06~

nari-chan- Hello again! Haven't seen you in a while. I can't tell what happens in upcoming chapters. You'll have to continue reading to find out. It's going to get good, I promise. ~dpa06~

Aurora Jezebel- Thank you so much! I update every Tuesday, usually as soon as I get out of classes for the day since I only have two in the morning. Thank you, once again, for the great review. ~dpa06~

Lincourt- This is one of my favourite chapters. The flashbacks were so much fun to write, and I can just imagine Severus thinking about Harry to get him up the steps. It is kind of sad to think of someone as strong as Sev reduced to such a state. But we all knew Mr. Moldy-Shorts would find out sooner or later. This way, we get some slashy goodness to tide us over. *wink* ~dpa06~

katzies- Thank you! I update every Tuesday! ~dpa06~

nari-chan- Thanks for reading and reviewing, no matter when it is. As for their reuniting, I believe this chapter answered that question a little bit. Can't wait to hear from you again! Also, memories and flashbacks are the greatest, aren't they? It just gives lots of slashy goodness to everyone! LOL! ~dpa06~

MARIA JOAO- Thank you. I update on Tuesdays. Hope you continue to like reading and reviewing. ~dpa06~

Lioncourt- I usually like Dumbledore, but I don't mind reading fics where they bash him and I don't mind bashing him here and there in my fics occasionally. I think it's like him though. Everyone's safe, and that's all that matters really. Also, I can so see Sev teaching during the day and searching all night long. I just... I can so see this! Thanks for the review, once more Lioncourt. ~dpa06~

Lioncourt- Now that's not true. On my author's page on this site I say that it won't let me write what I wanted so I told everyone to go to one of the other sites I post at and read my bio there. This fic is also already posted on Silver Snitch II, as well as Forever Fandom where you read it at. I did get your reviews. So thank you for continuing to review. Love ya lots Lioncourt! ~dpa06~

*wipes brow* Sorry I haven't replied to these before now. As I said before, there's been a problem with my computer. I couldn't see the reviews! It was horrible, really. Now I can. So thanks everyone and see ya next week! -dpa06-