How They Fell

Chapter Ten


Harry spent the rest of the night thinking, accompanied by Ron’s gentle snores.

Thinking about it now he was surprised that he had never though about being gay before. After all, he had gone through the whole of last year without looking twice at anything female. At the time he had just put it down to the pressure of expecting to be Avada Kedavrad at any moment and that dreadful relationship with Cho the year before.

Of course now Harry had a better idea why their relationship had been so terrible. But he had been very attracted to her for the whole of Forth and the majority of Fifth year. Perhaps he was by? Or she had put him off women forever. Harry snorted at that idea.

Although, at the time his ideas about sexuality had been very limited. Yes, she was pretty, but it was possible that her short hair and Quidditch playing had conned Harry into seeing her as more masculine than she really was. Perhaps that was why it had always shocked him when she cried, or, thinking about it now, did anything girly.

Harry also realised that he noticed the presence of men much more than girls. Most of his friends were boys, his enemy’s were boys, upon entering the Apparation classroom his eyes had immediately shot to Blaise, not Margaretta. He was even more focused on the male teachers, take professor Snape for example. Harry’s face screwed up in horror. ‘No, no, no, NO! He was defiantly NOT sexually attracted to Snape. Ewww! Horrible, horrible mental picture! Think about something else Harry – your gay…Oh look, that worked!’ He muttered to himself sarcastically.

Harry supposed that Ed and Bill just reflected the end of his ability to repress his sexuality. For Christ’s sake! He was a teenage boy! He should have spent the last year trailing after anything remotely sexy and then jerking off about it afterwards! Instead he repressed his desires for men using his imminent demise as a cloak to subconsciously explain why he wasn’t doing the usual teenage boy things.

At two thirty in the morning, Harry had come to the conclusion that he was gay, and he wasn’t unhappy about it. He had never seen it as a bad thing, and for him it was a good thing if it meant that he got to date and kiss men as sexy as Bill. His initial reaction had been mainly shock, and even now Harry was sure that it would take a while for him to get used to the idea.

However, Harry really wasn’t sure how the wizarding community would react. He could imagine the headline in the Daily Profit; ‘The-Boy-who-lived-to-take-it-up-the-arse!’ Harry snorted, ‘let them think what they like.’ But the Weasley’s, Ron and his friends, he cared what they thought and he wanted them to be ok with it. He’d have to tell them, he couldn’t hide it forever, especially not when he was so bad at hiding it. Harry blushed again remembering dinner.

So by quarter past three Harry had decided that he was gay, he was telling his friends about it soon and he should really go to sleep. Accordingly he did just that, feeling both relieved and terrified.

* * *

Plans for their Animagus transformations continued surprisingly quickly. Harry was pleased to find that Ron and Hermione agreed with his original ideas. Upon mentioning his uncertainty about the potions ingredients, Hermione had tutted exaggeratedly and snatched the piece of parchment out of his hand.

After looking at it intently for a while, she looked back up at Ron and Harry with a smile. “It’s not as hard as I feared it would be, I mean it’s a very complicated potion, but figuring out the correct ingredients should be relatively easy. Then all we have to do is use Arithmancy to work out an estimation of how much of each one we need, do a couple of variations just to be sure, and we should be there.”

She looked up at her friends happily, only to find two rather bemused faces. “Oh! Honestly! Look, if you have powdered horn of a bicorn as well as blood from a belua, mixed with lacewing fly’s and the pollen from a luminous ribosis, there are very few other ingredients which will work in such a concoction. Oh Harry you made a list, good!” She then proceeded to mutter to herself. “No, can’t use those two, they don’t like acidity, that one wont work unless we heat it to forty two degrees and that would ruin the lacewing flies, that one will work, not that one, it would cause an explosion, that’s ok, that’s ok, that’s not, and nor is that one…Ok, what we need are fluxweed, knotgrass and moss alarmitas.” Hermione looked up, smiling and flushed with success. Ron and Harry just gaped back at her.

* * *

The next morning as Harry sleepily sat eating his breakfast the Hogwarts letters arrived. There was a pause as every eye flicked to Hermione who had gone pale.

She picked up her letter with trembling fingers. Slowly she broke the wax seal, opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. Harry had never seen Hermione so reluctant to read anything, and if the situation weren’t so tense he would have laughed.

Harry watched nervously with the rest of the Weasley’s as Hermione’s eyes scanned the parchment. Then a wide smile spread over her face. A cheer went up around the kitchen and hugs and congratulations were poured on Hermione lavishly.

The Head Girl badge was brought out and proudly pinned to her jumper, accompanied by Ron’s laugh of, “keep it away from the twins!”

After one more round of hugs from everyone present Hermione went upstairs to write to her parents and Harry sitting down still grinning opened his letter. It didn’t contain anything untoward, he was Quidditch Captain again and the letter also had the usual list of books and equipment.

The rest of the day was spent celebrating in true Weasley fashion, i.e. everyone ate a lot and spent the rest of the day lying around, clutching their full stomachs and talking occasionally. It was only on the following day that they all made their way to Diagon Alley (Ron and Harry made a big deal about Apparating there) to do their yearly shopping.

Once Harry had filled his wallet full of gold, silver and bronze he made his way, along with Ron, Hermione and Ginny to Madam Malkin’s. Harry was happy to note that he needed brand new robes thanks to his growth spurt. He was officially five foot nine, taller than Hermione, but still only reaching Ron’s nose, something’s would never change.

They all spent ages in Flourish and Blotts watching Hermione move from one shelf to another, trying to decide which books she wanted. They then went to restock their potions ingredients and to discreetly buy those things that they would need for the Animagus transformation.

After lunch Mrs Weasley left her charges to get all of the catalogues from the furniture stores and Harry voiced his intention of doing some clothes shopping. Ron looked flabbergasted at this statement.

“But why Harry?” He asked for the fourth time.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Because I no longer have to pretend to the Dursleys that I have no money and I want to remove every single trace of them, which means these,” Harry indicated his clothes, “and these,” pointing to his glasses, “are going!”

Ginny perked her ears up rather noticeably at this moment and looked at Hermione meaningfully. “Hermione and I know of a place to go. Come on!” She said, grabbing Ron rather forcefully as Hermione tugged at Harry. Ron groaned and glared at Harry in a ‘what the hell have you subjected me to?’ kind of way. Harry shrugged in reply as Ginny and Hermione manhandled them into an alleyway off the main street. “In here.” Bossed Ginny opening a door and pushing Harry and Ron inside.

The next hour passed in a multicoloured blur for Harry. Ron sat in a corner of the shop looking sickened and bored out of his mind, but Harry was rushed from shelve to shelve standing passively as the girls pinned different clothes to him and scrutinised the effect. Harry was sure after the first fifteen minuets that he would never be able to forget the look on their faces when they were analysing him. It was almost comic the way they both moved their heads to one side and frowned slightly. But Harry was beginning to think that his suggestion to bye a whole new wardrobe should have been more carefully thought through, or at least just not mentioned in front of Ginny and Hermione.

After a while Harry started to feel like he was getting the hang of this, and he even ventured to express some of his opinions, not that they were taken into account. However, Harry was then thrown into the deep end again when Hermione and Ginny shunted him into the changing rooms. They unceremoniously placed the armfuls of stuff on a small stool and told him to get changing.

Harry then tried of every single item of clothing and was sure that he was going to go berserk, although he was doing better than Ron who’s facial expressions seemed to be unable to decide between murderous and despairing.

As they finally made their way outside into the light once more after what felt like days in the shop, Harry wanted nothing more than to go back to Grimmauld place, sit down and spend the evening trying to persuade himself that it had simply been a dizzying nightmare. Unfortunately Hermione and Ginny had other plans.

“Come on!” Cried Ginny happily, “plenty more shops to go!”

Horrified looks were shared between Harry and Ron.

“What?…No!” Was Ron’s desperate exclamation, to the vast amusement of the girls who promptly cracked up. Harry realising that they were being teased let out a sigh of relief, before he became aware that Ginny was dragging them off again.

“Then, where are we going?”

“Oh honestly Harry!” Hermione moaned, exasperated, “new glasses remember?” Harry noticed that Ron looked slightly ill.

Indeed when they got to the shop called, Oswald’s Ocular Opticians, it did seem like Ginny and Hermione were going to begin the same process as before, but this time with glasses frames which all looked exactly the same as each other.

“Quick mate, do something!” Came Ron’s pleading gasp.

Harry looked around desperately, trying to find a way to stop Hermione and Ginny. His eyes flashed over to a rack of glasses frames, quickly searching for a pair.

“These ones!” Cried Harry. The girls stopped dead, mid way through pushing glasses frames up Harry’s nose. Harry heard a sigh of relief from Ron.

“What?” Said Ginny

“These ones!” Repeated Harry.

“Oh!..” Ginny sounded surprised. “Well, put them on then.”

Harry quickly pushed them up his nose preying they would be ok. His heart sank as Ginny and Hermione bent their heads to one side and looked at him, analysing the effect.

“Mmmmm.” They both said thoughtfully. “Yes Harry they do quite suit you. But I’m not sure that that’s the right colour…ah black, here you go.”

Looking at his reflection in the mirror Harry realised that the glasses did quite suit him. They were much more rectangular than his old pair, but still with curved corners. The frames were also thinner and the overall effect, as Hermione explained (with the sound of Ron retching in the background) was that they emphasised his eyes.

Relief washed over Harry as his choice was accepted. Hermione and Ginny led him to the counter were his eyes were tested and the glass in the frames magically changed to the correct curve and thickness for his sight. Harry paid four Galleons and seven Sickles for his new glasses and they all left the shop, making their way back to Grimmauld place.

* * *

Harry spent the rest of the last week before school arguing with himself. He knew he had to tell Ron and Hermione soon. He didn’t want to do it when they were back at school, but he didn’t want to do it in Grimmauld place in case they refused to speak to him ever again.

By the last night before school Harry was getting desperate, his internal debate reaching new heights. With out pausing to think he grabbed Ron and Hermione and pushed them into his bedroom after dinner. After locking the door and placing a silencing charm over it he turned back to his friends, uncertainty evident in his face.

“Um…I – um, I have to tell you guys something.” He then stopped, bowed his head and stared at the floor.

“Oh my God!” Harry’s head shot up at Ron’s expletive. “It’s not about you-know-who is it?”

Harry sniggered in relief and also at the ridiculousness of the situation. Why was it that he would be more comfortable telling his friends about his worst enemy who was out to kill him, than his sexual preference? It was ridiculous!

Harry took a deep breath and started again. “No it’s not Voldemort. It’s why…why I was upset the other day. You know when we passed our tests and Bill came round.” Hermione was smiling at him encouragingly and Ron was looking blank. Harry paused again.

“Well? What is it? It can’t be that bad, what ever it is!” Said Ron.

Harry took another deep breath, closed his eyes and clenched his fists. “I’m gay.”

There was a pause and Harry tentatively opened his eyes. Ron looked thunderstruck, but Harry couldn’t see any hint of disgust on his face which was very relieving. Hermione smiled at Harry again, stepped forward and hugged him.

“Thanks for telling us Harry.”

“You knew?” Harry spluttered.

“I guessed. You really weren’t very subtle with Bill you know.” Harry blushed again, “not that I can blame you,” continued Hermione. “He’s gorgeous!”

Harry grinned at this and nodded his head slightly, blushing.

“Wait! Wait! Bill!…Harry’s gay and he fancies Bill?”

Hermione glared at Ron, trying to stop him from saying anything which would hurt their friend. “Ron! Anyone with eyes fancies Bill!”

“Oh!” There was a pause as they both nervously watched Ron work through the information. “Well…um, Harry – it’s a bit of a surprise. Um, but if, if it makes you happy, um, then I guess its ok.” He finished with a weak smile. Harry smiled back.

“Thanks Ron, Hermione. It means a lot.”

“Um, Harry?”

“Yes, Ron.”

“Er…you don’t – you don’t, er, fancy me do you?”

“No Ron, I mean, you’re my best friend, being gay doesn’t change that.” Ron let out an exaggerated sigh of relief.

“Well, I guess its ok then.” And stepping forward he gave Harry a very manly hug, with a rather awkward pat on the back. Harry smiled to himself as he returned the hug. It was ok! He was gay, he had accepted it and so had his friends and he was going back to Hogwarts tomorrow.

Harry smiled even more when Hermione started to berate them for not having started their packing.



Author's note: Please, please, please reveiw!