Who, What and Where am I?
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
17,297
Reviews:
44
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
11
Views:
17,297
Reviews:
44
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Just Harry
Title: Who, what and where am I?
Summary: ‘Severus sat down hard as he extracted his mind from Potter. This could not be happening. It couldn’t be true! Potter was a spoiled brat, selfish and self-centered! He was not ‘boy’. He couldn’t be!’
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing! JK Rowling and her Publishers owns Harry Potter and anything associated with it.
Hope you enjoy the fic and if you have any suggestions please put them in a review and I will have a look at them.
Thank you for your reviews guys!! I went through my whole story again and saw quite a few mistakes. I’ll take the time to correct the mistakes over the weekend and repost it by Monday.
AN: This is in answer to a question stated in a review. The question was by lightgoddess but I’ll put it here as an AN for anyone else who felt the same way.
She wanted to know if the fact that Severus referred to himself as ‘a boy’, ‘the boy’ and so on was supposed to be creepy. Yes, it was. Severus doesn’t want to confront his past and he sees it as happening to someone else, someone whom died when he was young because of the treatment from his family. For him ‘sonny’ no longer exists as he has suppressed that part of himself. Hope that clears it up.
Another AN Savitus Snape is the name of Severus’ father in my fics. I’m referring to him during the fic and just wanted to point that out to avoid any confusion.
This chapter is a bit disturbing, just wanted to warn you.
Chapter 10
Just Harry
The only thing you could have done different was finding someone to talk to about it. But now you did. Now you do .
The boy couldn’t possibly think that he would talk to him about his childhood, did he?
No, he must have misunderstood that part.
The fact that a part of the deep ache he had always had in his heart had lightened a bit when the boy told him that what had happened was not his fault was forgotten.
Potter was still staring at the scene in front of them with horrifying fascination. Suddenly the room dissolved around them and they once again found themselves in another memory.
Severus realized almost immediately that this was where everything had gotten worse.
So much worse.
It was the first time his father had gone further than hand jobs or blow jobs. Potter could apparently feel the tension in the air and looked at him quizzically. Severus shook his head and returned his attention to the bed.
Severus watched as the ‘adult’ brutally ripped into the young boy. He heard Potter’s breath hitch but found himself incapable of looking away from the scene in front of him.
The grunts and moans from the older man were drowned by the frantic screaming and whimpering from the young boy.
‘Sunny’ suddenly looked up and it seemed as if he was staring straight at Severus. The pain in his eyes was too much to bear and Severus looked away. Instead he found his eyes locked on equally pain filled green eyes.
The eyes were pleading with him to do something. Stop the pain maybe? Help the boy? He didn’t know what those eyes wanted from him but whatever it was, he couldn’t do it.
Twin screams of pain reached his ears and he stared in horror at Potter as the boy sank down on his knees. His eyes were glazed and Severus knew that Potter wasn’t seeing anything in front of him.
The memory they were in must have triggered something in Potter’s mind and he was now reliving his own horrifying memories.
‘Sonny’ was once again looking straight at them but the screams didn’t subside any. Potter was whimpering and his arms were flying wide around his body as if to fend off an invisible enemy.
The confusion in his brain was taking over but Severus pushed it to the back as best he could. He had to help them. Both Potter and the young boy needed his help and some part of his brain realized that he would only be able to help one of them.
Kneeling down beside Potter he took hold of the boy’s shoulders and shook him frantically. It did help in a way. The glassiness left the boy’s eyes as he became aware of his surroundings but he flinched back violently as he registered the hands on his shoulders.
The screams still coming from the memory was raging havoc with Severus’s emotions and he reached forward once again. Grabbing hold of Potter he pushed them both out of the memory. They landed sprawled on the floor in his office and Potter scooted as far away from him as possible.
This had NOT gone according to plan.
“Potter!” Severus snapped with as much venom as he could manage at the moment.
The boy stopped whimpering and peeked at him from under the arms folded in front of his face.
Severus could see the moment Potter became aware of his surroundings. The boy relaxed the slightest bit and Severus could see the old Gryffindor courage coming to the front again.
No one spoke for a few minutes and Severus stood up to pour himself a drink.
“How old were you at the time sir?” The voice was so soft that Severus almost didn’t hear it. He tensed but didn’t have time to reply immediately as the boy went on.
“You looked barely seven years old. Was that the first time it happened? That would be a year younger than what I was when it happened to me.” Potter trailed off and Severus was sure that he was once again going to fall back into a memory.
*----------------------*
Harry found it difficult to focus on his Professor. The memories were swarming in his mind, trying to find a place to hold on to and torment him again.
He felt relief rush through his body as he was once again distracted by his Professor’s voice.
“It happened on my seventh birthday. ‘Sonny’ had been such a good boy that year that Savitus Snape had decided to reward him. Yes, it was the first time he had done that. ‘Sonny’ had not been able to sit for two days. If I had been doing magic since I was a baby I would probably have suffered permanent damage. The fact that my parents refused me a wand had helped me that day. With the magic building up in my body and finding no release for seven years it was able to help me in my ‘time of need’. ‘Sonny’ had never been more thankful for the fact that his parents forbid him to do magic before he entered Hogwarts.”
Harry had a hard time keeping up with what his professor said. The man spoke in such a way that it almost seemed as if he was referring to two different boys.
It was disconcerting to say the least.
“So your magic helped you, healed you, whenever your father became that vicious?”
Harry nodded his head in answer to his own question. It made sense. He had felt his own magic when he was five and it had already built up to quite a magnitude. At seven the magic would have been enough to heal basically any wound - as it had - Harry remembered. It had healed him both in his own time as well as when he was ‘Severus Snape’.
“Sonny.” Harry spoke softly but even so his professor flinched violently. “Sonny. You could not have done anything differently. Your father was a vicious bastard who should never have done that to you. I know how you feel. It happened to me as well. We can talk about it. Tell me how you feel, how you felt at the time. ‘You’ are the one who’s helping me at the moment and as loath as I am to admit it, it’s helping. I want to extend the same help to you.”
Harry could see the exact moment Snape regained control of himself and he cursed himself for his last sentences.
As soon as he had uttered the words ‘You’ are the one who’s helping me, the professor had regained his control and was at the moment sneering down at him.
“That’s right Potter. I’m the one who’s helping you at the moment. Why I even bother is beyond me but as you are my student and I don’t want to have a suicide on my conscience I’ve decided to dog you no matter what.”
The horrifying truth of the matter became clear at that moment.
Snape was helping him because he had to. Because he was the teacher and Harry the student. Because Dumbledore would NOT be pleased if Snape was, even indirectly, responsible for any harm that came to Harry.
Why he had ever thought different was beyond him.
Why he had thought that Snape had finally seen something more than just James Potter reincarnated was a mystery to him.
No, he was still Harry-Bloody-Potter, the Boy-who-lived-to-torment-Severus-Snape. He was still only ‘boy’, or ‘freak’, or even ‘sonny’. He was never Harry.
Just Harry.
The door banged loudly behind him as he ran but he didn’t care. He had to get away. Had to put as much space between himself and everyone else as possible.
He was their savior. Their shining light. Their celebrity to step upon and trample when they felt like it.
But he wasn’t.
He was Harry. Just Harry.
End Chapter 10
Errr…. Don’t know what happened. My fingers took a mind of their own and this is the result. I’ll mend all the wrongs done in this chapter again, don’t worry. Snape will come to his senses and the fic WILL have happy ending, even if I have to go over my estimated word count of 15 – 20 000 words.
What did you think?
Review please!!!
Summary: ‘Severus sat down hard as he extracted his mind from Potter. This could not be happening. It couldn’t be true! Potter was a spoiled brat, selfish and self-centered! He was not ‘boy’. He couldn’t be!’
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing! JK Rowling and her Publishers owns Harry Potter and anything associated with it.
Hope you enjoy the fic and if you have any suggestions please put them in a review and I will have a look at them.
Thank you for your reviews guys!! I went through my whole story again and saw quite a few mistakes. I’ll take the time to correct the mistakes over the weekend and repost it by Monday.
AN: This is in answer to a question stated in a review. The question was by lightgoddess but I’ll put it here as an AN for anyone else who felt the same way.
She wanted to know if the fact that Severus referred to himself as ‘a boy’, ‘the boy’ and so on was supposed to be creepy. Yes, it was. Severus doesn’t want to confront his past and he sees it as happening to someone else, someone whom died when he was young because of the treatment from his family. For him ‘sonny’ no longer exists as he has suppressed that part of himself. Hope that clears it up.
Another AN Savitus Snape is the name of Severus’ father in my fics. I’m referring to him during the fic and just wanted to point that out to avoid any confusion.
This chapter is a bit disturbing, just wanted to warn you.
Chapter 10
Just Harry
The only thing you could have done different was finding someone to talk to about it. But now you did. Now you do .
The boy couldn’t possibly think that he would talk to him about his childhood, did he?
No, he must have misunderstood that part.
The fact that a part of the deep ache he had always had in his heart had lightened a bit when the boy told him that what had happened was not his fault was forgotten.
Potter was still staring at the scene in front of them with horrifying fascination. Suddenly the room dissolved around them and they once again found themselves in another memory.
Severus realized almost immediately that this was where everything had gotten worse.
So much worse.
It was the first time his father had gone further than hand jobs or blow jobs. Potter could apparently feel the tension in the air and looked at him quizzically. Severus shook his head and returned his attention to the bed.
Severus watched as the ‘adult’ brutally ripped into the young boy. He heard Potter’s breath hitch but found himself incapable of looking away from the scene in front of him.
The grunts and moans from the older man were drowned by the frantic screaming and whimpering from the young boy.
‘Sunny’ suddenly looked up and it seemed as if he was staring straight at Severus. The pain in his eyes was too much to bear and Severus looked away. Instead he found his eyes locked on equally pain filled green eyes.
The eyes were pleading with him to do something. Stop the pain maybe? Help the boy? He didn’t know what those eyes wanted from him but whatever it was, he couldn’t do it.
Twin screams of pain reached his ears and he stared in horror at Potter as the boy sank down on his knees. His eyes were glazed and Severus knew that Potter wasn’t seeing anything in front of him.
The memory they were in must have triggered something in Potter’s mind and he was now reliving his own horrifying memories.
‘Sonny’ was once again looking straight at them but the screams didn’t subside any. Potter was whimpering and his arms were flying wide around his body as if to fend off an invisible enemy.
The confusion in his brain was taking over but Severus pushed it to the back as best he could. He had to help them. Both Potter and the young boy needed his help and some part of his brain realized that he would only be able to help one of them.
Kneeling down beside Potter he took hold of the boy’s shoulders and shook him frantically. It did help in a way. The glassiness left the boy’s eyes as he became aware of his surroundings but he flinched back violently as he registered the hands on his shoulders.
The screams still coming from the memory was raging havoc with Severus’s emotions and he reached forward once again. Grabbing hold of Potter he pushed them both out of the memory. They landed sprawled on the floor in his office and Potter scooted as far away from him as possible.
This had NOT gone according to plan.
“Potter!” Severus snapped with as much venom as he could manage at the moment.
The boy stopped whimpering and peeked at him from under the arms folded in front of his face.
Severus could see the moment Potter became aware of his surroundings. The boy relaxed the slightest bit and Severus could see the old Gryffindor courage coming to the front again.
No one spoke for a few minutes and Severus stood up to pour himself a drink.
“How old were you at the time sir?” The voice was so soft that Severus almost didn’t hear it. He tensed but didn’t have time to reply immediately as the boy went on.
“You looked barely seven years old. Was that the first time it happened? That would be a year younger than what I was when it happened to me.” Potter trailed off and Severus was sure that he was once again going to fall back into a memory.
*----------------------*
Harry found it difficult to focus on his Professor. The memories were swarming in his mind, trying to find a place to hold on to and torment him again.
He felt relief rush through his body as he was once again distracted by his Professor’s voice.
“It happened on my seventh birthday. ‘Sonny’ had been such a good boy that year that Savitus Snape had decided to reward him. Yes, it was the first time he had done that. ‘Sonny’ had not been able to sit for two days. If I had been doing magic since I was a baby I would probably have suffered permanent damage. The fact that my parents refused me a wand had helped me that day. With the magic building up in my body and finding no release for seven years it was able to help me in my ‘time of need’. ‘Sonny’ had never been more thankful for the fact that his parents forbid him to do magic before he entered Hogwarts.”
Harry had a hard time keeping up with what his professor said. The man spoke in such a way that it almost seemed as if he was referring to two different boys.
It was disconcerting to say the least.
“So your magic helped you, healed you, whenever your father became that vicious?”
Harry nodded his head in answer to his own question. It made sense. He had felt his own magic when he was five and it had already built up to quite a magnitude. At seven the magic would have been enough to heal basically any wound - as it had - Harry remembered. It had healed him both in his own time as well as when he was ‘Severus Snape’.
“Sonny.” Harry spoke softly but even so his professor flinched violently. “Sonny. You could not have done anything differently. Your father was a vicious bastard who should never have done that to you. I know how you feel. It happened to me as well. We can talk about it. Tell me how you feel, how you felt at the time. ‘You’ are the one who’s helping me at the moment and as loath as I am to admit it, it’s helping. I want to extend the same help to you.”
Harry could see the exact moment Snape regained control of himself and he cursed himself for his last sentences.
As soon as he had uttered the words ‘You’ are the one who’s helping me, the professor had regained his control and was at the moment sneering down at him.
“That’s right Potter. I’m the one who’s helping you at the moment. Why I even bother is beyond me but as you are my student and I don’t want to have a suicide on my conscience I’ve decided to dog you no matter what.”
The horrifying truth of the matter became clear at that moment.
Snape was helping him because he had to. Because he was the teacher and Harry the student. Because Dumbledore would NOT be pleased if Snape was, even indirectly, responsible for any harm that came to Harry.
Why he had ever thought different was beyond him.
Why he had thought that Snape had finally seen something more than just James Potter reincarnated was a mystery to him.
No, he was still Harry-Bloody-Potter, the Boy-who-lived-to-torment-Severus-Snape. He was still only ‘boy’, or ‘freak’, or even ‘sonny’. He was never Harry.
Just Harry.
The door banged loudly behind him as he ran but he didn’t care. He had to get away. Had to put as much space between himself and everyone else as possible.
He was their savior. Their shining light. Their celebrity to step upon and trample when they felt like it.
But he wasn’t.
He was Harry. Just Harry.
End Chapter 10
Errr…. Don’t know what happened. My fingers took a mind of their own and this is the result. I’ll mend all the wrongs done in this chapter again, don’t worry. Snape will come to his senses and the fic WILL have happy ending, even if I have to go over my estimated word count of 15 – 20 000 words.
What did you think?
Review please!!!