War for Peace

10

He didn't know when they had fallen asleep, that didn't seem to matter now. Draco was panicked and was threating Harry with hexes as he moved to collect himself and open the door. Harry couldn't move, he'd never seen anyone so terrified in all of his life. He felt his mouth move, but no words had made there way out. The door opened and shut and the sound of Malfoy's running was quickily lost and there was a deep silence. Harry sat perfectly confused as to what exactly happened, but judging from the warmth that lingered at his side, they had fallen asleep in the others' arms. Draco seemed to be terrified of any physical contact from what Harry could see.

Reamus was on order bussiness, so Malfoy had been allowed to live there for the duration of the war. Harry swallowed as he realized Draco had no home anymore. It was likely now swarming with aurors. Harry felt an even deeper guilt for that because he knew now what he had cost Malfoy. Yes, he thought. He had cost Malfoy a great deal by never trying to see past his exterior. He saw Draco cry last night, perhaps a rare sight, it haunted him. The empty eyes that Malfoy had pleaded to him with. He tried to tell himself he had more pressing issues to think on, like destroying Voldemort, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Malfoy. He didn't understand this at all.

Draco ran faster than he ever remembered. He tried to force air into his lungs. What the hell had he been doing with Potter last night? He shook his head violently enough to make himself drop to his knees. He let out a growl. 'No' He tried to stop. He felt his body burn. He let out another horrific growl. 'Stop Draco, you fool!' He hissed in his mind, but it was no use, the transformation had already gone to far. He growled in agony as his joints popped and muscles swelled. He saw the school through his normal eyes, then they changed to Grey yeallow, his teeth grew sharp and his face was now that of a monster. He was no longer Draco, he gave into the violent bloodlust in his heart and headed right into the forest.

"Draco, if I have to catch you again!" Dyanna hissed in a whisper. She'd seen him charging toward the school before he'd changed. She didn't know how he had changed without the moon. She didn't take the time to debate it, she headed toward the forest on her broom. She didn't really think about danger as she put her broom in her transfigured bag. She searched slowly, she knew Draco, she'd tracked him a few other times. She let her eyes wash across the ground. Her heart beat hard against her ribs, she knew she'd made a mistake coming alone, but she dared not turn around. The eyes she'd seen so often the last few months started at her in bitter anger.

She acted fast, grabbing her wand and casting a shield charm just as Draco's beast form pounced. She stared at him, without so much as a hint of fear in her eyes. Her face suddenly brightened with thought. She remembered what Hagrid had told her if this ever happened. She used her wand and cast a firework charm. Not only did it surprise Draco as the sparks shot up, but most of the school could see she was in danger.

"Nice Draco, real nice, did someone make you mad again, maybe it was Potter?" She smirked at the creature's now focused growl. She didn't even flinch as he slammed his large claws against her sheild spell, which flashed with white hot bursts of light. "Dumb brute." She spat. Draco continued to try and knock down the shield with his fists now. Dyanna was considering charging him per hour, despite the fact that at times, she liked his company. She smiled again as a familiar set of footsteps aproached behind her.

"Malfoy jus' calm down!' Hagrid barked. This had not phased the creature, who drew itself to it's full 7 foot hieght and growled so loud that Dyanna covered her ears. Hagrid prepared to defend himself as Draco charged him, head on. The half giant grabbed the animagus by the head and held it's jaws open just enough to prevent a deadly bite. Dyanna dropped her shield once she felt the man had the creature's attention sufficiently, she then whispered a spell and a yellowish hue erupted from her wand and Draco's form relaxed to stiffness, then transformed to Draco's human form, quite naked.

"You move fast." Dyanna breathed in relief.

"Got ta, in my line o' work miss." Hagrid sighed and checked himself for wounds. "Any idea what set 'im off?"

"None." She said flatly.

"S'pose we should get 'im to Pompfrey." Hagrid said, wrapping the boy in an animal skin so he could carry the boy with some sense of dignity. Dyanna followed him as they walked to the hospital wing.
~~~~~~

It wasn't until some hours later that she was let in to see Draco. He stood near the open window, not really looking out, but trying to avoid the inevitable conversation with her.

"What the hell happened to you?" She whispered as she came to stand beside him. He shrugged and attempted to avoid her gaze. "Draco, I can't keep protecting you like this, it's dangerous, for both of us!" Dyanna was clearly angry with him. He looked out at the rising sun, he had not been asleep long with Potter before all this happened.

"Nobody asked you to do any of this." Draco said coldly. Dyanna suppressed her urge to hit him in the head.

"Of course not." She said evenly, "But if I don't, who will?" She eyed him, her heart softening at his downcast gaze.

"No one." Draco said in just as cold as before. "It's the way it is, I'll be alright, I don't need anyone." Draco blinked, he didn't believe those words at all. "My revenge doesn't matter anyway." He cut her off before she coul speak. "I can't achieve it the way I want." His eyes shut tight. "I can't use him like that." Dyanna looked confused. "Potter is a good soul, I can't ask him to ruin it for my sake." Her eyes went wide. This was clearly a distraught Draco, surely he still wanted revenge.

"Today, I woke up, we were together last night-I-I think." Draco stammered, he wanted desperately to stop talking, but found himself unable to stop. "Why does he do this? Why is he so perfect?" Draco clenched his fist. "Why can't I-" and he knew he was dangerously close to becoming angry again. "Dyanna, you need to know something about me." Draco said, newly composed.

"What?" She asked suprised that he was addressing her again.

"I need to tell you something." Draco sighed. "You think you owe me a life debt, but you don't. I didn't go in to fight Greyback because he had you. I went in because I wanted to kill him, you just happened to be there, I didn't save your life." He looked away out the window to make sure he couldn't see what hurt he had caused her.

"You idiot, of course you did." She said. "You asked him to let me go, you said that it was between you and him." Dyanna didn't show a hint of emotion in her voice, but her confusion was evident on her face. Draco's face drained of color, she was right, he had said that. He was in shock. He'd never really considered that he'd saved her until now. It didn't make him feel particularly good, but he had saved someone. Self-doubt, Self-loathing, they had always been his companions. He was fighting them now.

"I don't want to be here." Draco said finally. "I don't belong here, I should be dead." Draco's face screwed up in frustration. Dyanna was even more confused now. She had followed the subjects, now she was getting somewhere. She waited for Draco to speak. "Everyone I have ever known has paid for my mistakes. My mother, my father, Dumbledore. I have never once stood on my own actions and taken the consequences." Dyanna felt like she was wading through a pool of endless self-pitying bullshit, she was going to stop Draco when she realized something.

"You feel guilty." She said suddenly.

"Yes, I fucking feel guilty." Draco cried in pain, tears escaped, unwanted onto his robes.

"Don't do that, don't do that." She pleaded frantic, she hated when people cried.

"Will you do me a favor?" Draco asked, sniffing and wiping his eyes. "I have to talk to Potter." He said as he composed himself.

"Alright, do you know where he was last?" Dyanna asked kindly.

"Left him in the cottage, probably very confused I bet." He watched her turn to leave. "Thanks." He said to her back.

~~~~~~~~

She returned with Potter in tow about a half hour later. Amazed to find that Draco had not moved more than an inch from where she had left him. Once she'd lead him into the room, she left with not a word to either of them. Draco and Harry stood together at the window for several silent moments, neither of them sure of how to start talking. Harry thought he should wait since Dyanna had indicated to him that Draco had requested he come.

"I'm sorry Potter, I'm not sure where to start." Draco sighed in frustration.

"How about what happened at the cottage?" Harry suggested.

"I guess, not my first choice but-" He straightened his shoulders. "I was afraid." He cursed under his breath. "I knew I had already attacked you, or tried." Draco gritted his teeth to force his thoughts to make sense.

"You mean in your animagus form." Harry spoke. Draco looked at him in wide eyed embaressment.

"How did you know?" Draco asked shocked, his jaw a bit slacked.

"Dumbledore told me." Harry said truthfully. "But let's not get into long drawn out questions, you wanted to tell me something."

Draco swallowed. "I've been having trouble controling my other self." Draco fiddled with a piece of loose string from his robes.

"Other self?" Harry raised an eyebrow.

"The side that comes out when I transform. It usually happens under heightened emotion, or when I feel threatened. Usually it happens right after a dream." Harry nodded. "It happened right after I left the cottage, I didn't want-" But he cut himself off.

"I see." Harry said, "well that solves that."

Draco looked absolutely stunned that the danger Harry was in, didn't register. Figures, he thought bitterly. "The other reason I called you here..." He looked at Harry with a searching gaze. "I want to join you." Draco said and relaxed as if freed from a binding spell. "I have nothing to go back to, he's taken it all from me." Draco fought to stay calm. He didn't feel like running chaos through the school, there were young children here after all. "I have nothing to keep me here, if I died doing something of worth, that would be the best scenerio." Harry realized that Draco wasn't really talking to him, he was thinking out loud.

"I can't really invite you to join this quest Malfoy," Harry said calmly.

"What, why not?" Draco looked positively confounded.

"Because, it wasn't intended for y-" Harry stopped. Malfoy had turned away from him and looked out the window.

"Always the hero, right?" Malfoy cried bitterly. "You're probably right, I'm terrible at that sort of thing."

"Now, I didn't say any of th-" And without thinking he reached out to touch Malfoy's shoulder.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Draco recoiled violently from the approaching hand. "WHY DOES EVERYONE TRY TO TOUCH ME?!" Draco yelled, "I DON'T LIKE TO BE TOUCH-" Harry cut him off with a slap to his face.

"Stop this Malfoy, what the hell is the matter with you." Harry said sharpily. He looked at Malfoy, his wide eyes and then watched the boy's hand trace up to his reddened cheek.

"Pot-Harry, I need to show you something." Harry watched as Draco unbuttoned his shirt and let it slide off to the floor. He then turned around so Harry could see his back. He spoke a spell and the glamour washed off with the air. Harry stared in horror. He looked at Draco's back, where before had been a pefectly toned back, now had a pale flest that seemed too tight. Eight scars about three inches long each of them seemed positioned very specifically.

"This is why my mother died." Draco said softly. He found comfort in having his back to Harry.

"God Dr-What happened to you?" Harry said choking down his own disbelief.

"The Dark LOrd punished me after I failed to kill Dumbledore." Draco said it so matter-of-fact. Harry was in shock as he continued to look at each uniquely placed scar. "He said, this is how I will teach you about pain." He strapped me down," Harry listened, but he didn't want to, his heart churned in his chest, he could only imagine Voldemort's meaning of pain.
"I thought he was going to use jinxes or something, that's when I felt the knife dig in," Harry closed his eyes. Draco's voice was so calm about it. "It hurt so bad, I didn't pass out though." Harry thought Draco was smirking at this little tidbit. "After about the third or fourth time, I stopped screaming. Once he had done all the cutting, he flipped me over and let my blood run into a tub. Said he was collecting it for experiments." Draco laughed. Harry looked at him in utter amazement of how this boy could laugh at a story this horrible.

"You have no idea what it's like to literally feel your heart pump the life right out of you." If it wasn't for my mother discovering me and doing her best to heal me, I'd be dead." Draco turned to look at Harry in the face. "She sent me to the school, I tried to say no." Harry could see how much this hurt Draco to talk about. "But she insisted and then, I was leaving through our secret floo-" Draco tried to get the rest of the words out, but found they wouldn't come.

Harry approached cautiously. "I just-" Draco agonized. "When someone touches me, it's like, I feel his hands on me." Draco didn't back away as Harry closed the space between them.

"Draco, do you think I'll hurt you?" Harry asked looking into the blonde's eyes.

"No." Draco squeaked.

"Will you trust me?" He said softly and extended his arms.

"S-s-sure." Draco Stammered weakily.

Harry did the only thing his griffyndor nature would allow, he hugged his rival close. "I will make you a promise Draco. I will see them pay." But as Harry said it, he knew Draco couldn't hear him. His hand made gentle circles around Draco's back, soothing him with soft hushes as he cried. Harry knew that he had no choice, despite any objections, Draco would be joining his quest.

"Well atleast we both have scars." Draco said suddenly. Harry fought the urge to break down at his words. Draco had said it so innocently, like a child trying to find a common bond. His heart ached again.

"Yours are true scars Draco. Mine is only a curse mark." Harry said softly. "I'll see them pay, for every one, I promise you Draco." Harry and Draco spent the next few minutes quietly in the embrace of eachother.

End chapter 10
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Hope this isn't too violent. Please let me know what you think or what you don't get.