Lascivus Wanton

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. The characters and the settings belong to J.K. Rowling, however the story is my own.

WARNING: This story contains adult scenes and situations which may offend some people, including slash, minor (16y.o) sex, and swearing.


Chapter 10: The Pain of the Spurned

He watched the class file in; Harry was at the end talking to Ron and Hermione. He looked up at the potions master as he passed but looked away again immediately. The boy didn\'t look as miserable as he had expected, certainly not as miserable as he himself felt, and would almost certainly look if it wasn’t for the pepper-up potion he had enjoyed with breakfast. Maybe he had misjudged, maybe the young man hadn\'t really cared for him at all. Good; the sooner they could put this nonsense behind them the better. He gave the class their work, watched them collect ingredients and settle back in their seats. Harry didn\'t look at him.

He seen Hermione whisper something in Harry\'s ear and saw his face go red as he shook his head. Curious the professor stood and circled the room, slowly drawing closer to the threesome.

\"So are you going to Hogsmeade with her next weekend?\" Ron asked happily.

\"Not sure… \"

\"Go on Harry, you and Ginny were meant to be you know.\"

Snape felt his heart clench in his chest. All weekend he\'d been in anguish, did he do the right thing? Now, Harry had already moved on. He knew they couldn\'t be; there were too many forces against it, too much risk… but he didn\'t want this. Didn\'t want Harry to immediately start seeing someone else.

Start seeing someone? Maybe he\'d always been seeing her… Harry had always been close to the Weasley\'s, and Ginny was a pretty girl. Maybe he\'d just been a fling, a side-project, maybe Harry had been glad it was over, and he could concentrate on his girlfriend. Maybe he\'d just been curious about his sexuality, and Snape had been a way of exploring that before he moved on to what he really wanted.

\"50 points from Gryffindor. No talking in class you three.\" The green eyes flashed at him, the expression in them unreadable, before turning back to the cauldron.

What are you worried about? Snape asked himself. Why do you care? Did you really think anything would ever come of it? He is James\' son. The first time you had sex was basically rape, basically revenge for who he is, did you really think anything worthwhile could come of such a start? He is a stupid, selfish, arrogant young man, and you hate him… remember? He felt himself shaking, close to losing control in a way he never had before he started sleeping with Harry. He wanted to hex the man for making him feel this way, for not even caring about making him feel this way. He wanted to scream and run and punch him in his pretty, stupid face! Fuck! Why did he care so damn much?

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He had heard. Good! Let Snape know he didn\'t care about him at all. He watched the retreating back, watched him pause near the desk, his fists clenching and unclenching by his side before he turned to sit. His face was blank, but his eyes were black, so black; they were unfocused, staring through the back wall of the dungeon. I\'m still attracted to him, Harry realised, I still want him. He wished he knew Legilimency, he longed to know what was going on behind those eyes. Was he actually upset? But it had been his decision to end it.

Ron was watching him, looking angry. His two best friends didn\'t know what had happened between him and Ginny, he was pretty sure Ron would try to use an unforgivable on him if he did. But when they\'d come into the common room together, looking happy and smiling at each other Ron had assumed Harry was over his temporary insanity and they were going out. And when the notice went up saying next weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend Ron had immediately suggested Harry go with Ginny. Ginny had just smiled sadly and said it was up to Harry. The girl was so beautiful when she smiled. He wanted to forget Snape. He would be so happy now if nothing had ever happened between them, he could just enjoy being with Ginny, they could be normal and in love, as it was they were both hurting, and Harry didn\'t know what to do about it. He shouldn\'t have slept with her, he knew that. As much as she insisted she didn\'t expect anything from him Harry knew she was lying. She didn\'t know the reason he\'d suddenly lost interest, and her pride was seriously suffering.

He realised Snape was looking at him; they were staring into each others eyes across the room. Harry looked back down at the mess of potions ingredients before him, trying to forget about his seriously screwed up love life.

#####

The walked side by side on the road to Hogsmeade. She was dressed in a pale green robe, it really set off her hair, she looked wild and beautiful. And sad and confused. He hated seeing her like that, hated even more that he was the one who caused it.

\"Ginny…\" he started, \"I like you, but… it\'s confusing. I have a problem.\"

She looked at him, her golden brown eyes reaching out to him, demanding an explanation. She looked so broken, because of him. He owed her.

\"I think I might be gay… or bisexual, er… I\'m attracted to a man.\" Her eyes widened, looking hurt and so so sad.

\"Ron?\"

\"NO! Ron… fuck! He would kill me!\" She looked at him expectantly. \"I can\'t tell you, I\'m sorry, we could get in trouble, it\'s so…\"

\"Trouble? Is he in another house? Is he older? Or younger? Or… Harry it\'s not a teacher?\" She watched the revealing blush spread up his cheeks. \"A teacher? Who?\"

They had stopped walking, were standing in the middle of the road, staring at each other. Well he\'d come far enough now, he may as well tell her who. Besides he definitely owed her. He\'d taken her virginity, knowing he could never give her what she wanted.

\"Snape.\"

Her face collapsed, as if naming him finally made it real, made it irrevocable. She was crying, silently, tears filling her eyes slowly before spilling over and trailing down her cheeks. \"It\'s gone further then attraction hasn\'t it? Or else why would you get into trouble?\" He nodded. \"I\'m sorry Harry, I just can\'t… I need to think about this. I might go back to school.\"

#####

He kept walking, he could always meet up with Ron and Hermione once he got there… they would probably want to know why he wasn\'t with Ginny, but they would have to find out eventually anyway. How had he messed up so bad? Ron would never ever forgive him if he found out what he\'d done to Ginny. Shit! He was supposed to be her friend… he wasn\'t sure he could ever forgive himself.

He wasn\'t sure he was ready to face anyone just yet, so as he entered Hogsmeade he headed towards the Hog\'s Head, he was fairly certain it would be empty of students. It was. But there was a small problem; Harry had already taken a seat at the bar and ordered a fire-whisky he knew he shouldn\'t drink when he saw the familiar oily black hair down the bar. God\'s why did he have to be here? It was bad enough running into him at school. He sculled the drink, immediately started to choke and sprayed half the drink across the bar. Ooops! Everyone was staring at him. Including him. Fuck! He turned and walked out, trying to act as if the front of his shirt wasn\'t soaked with fire-whisky. He leant against the outside wall, how did he always manage to fuck up? He was so stupid. The door opened, and there he was. \"Harry… what are you doing ordering fire whisky?\" He doesn\'t call me Mr Potter anymore; does that mean I don\'t remind him of my father anymore?

\"What are you gonna do about it? Hey I\'m old enough to fuck, why shouldn\'t I be old enough to get drunk?\"

The dark eyes bored into his. Something stirred in their depths… guilt? \"Harry…\" Snape leant forwards, his lips barely brushing against Harry\'s. Then he spun on his heel, leaving Harry staring after his retreating back. The man was so frustrating, so maddening. He thought he could just fuck him, leave him, then claim him back whenever he wanted.

#####

He looked so sexy when he was angry. Shit, why did I have to kiss him? That was stupid. What was it about that boy that always made him feel so out of control? Only one person had ever made him feel like this, and now that person was dead. James had always made him vulnerable, weak, out of control. Shit. Just when he was convinced he was over James, had stopped seeing him every time he looked at Harry something reminded him.

Something hit him in the back. Pain shot through his spine, he spun around and another stone grazed his cheek.

Harry was standing in the middle of the road, glaring at him, tears running down his face as he scrabbled in the dirt for another rock. \"I HATE YOU!\" Another rock came spinning at his face and he ducked, running forward.

\"Harry calm down, what are you doing?\" The boy collapsed and Snape caught him, shocked and scared that he was reacting like this. He had thought Harry was over him, if he\'d ever even cared at all… what was he doing, standing in the middle of a very public street screaming and crying? This was not the way to be discreet, this was not part of Snape\'s plan. He scooped the limp boy up, carrying him back towards Hogwarts. Shit. Suddenly he noticed the small crowd of onlookers which had gathered, curious to see what the noise was about.

\"Student, took a bit of a turn… not feeling well. Taking him back to school.\" Shit, Harry\'s friends were there too.

\"Was that Harry Potter?\" \"The boy who lived?\" Whispers followed him down the road.

\"Why here? Why now… I\'ll never forgive you for this Harry.\" The man muttered under his breath as he carried the quietly crying young man back up to the school.


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See? Told you Snarry would be back!

Thanx again for those who have reviewed, and hugs and kisses especially for those who are reviewing consistantly.

To answer a few questions Ginny was a little out of character I guess, I think in the books she is too strong a person to give herself to someone who doesnt really want her, but I try to keep all my characters fairly consistant so I hope I didn\'t deviate too far. Also yeah Harry acted like a real shit and he knows it, poor ginny...

Also had mixed reactions with the harry/ginny pairing... thats fine i appreciate the feedback, still i felt there had to be some compitition for snape, he was getting too cocky. in more ways then one. Plus it was already set up for in the books.

Anyways thanx for reading and PLEASE keep up the reviews... I love them so much... when i first add a chapter I keep reloading the fic page every 10 seconds to see if I got another one so don\'t disapoint me please :P