Outside the Potions Classroom

Outside the Potions Classroom



Chapter Nine


After his encounter with Granger and Dumbledore, he felt the need to be cautious. Especially now that it seemed like Dumbledore had something up his sleeve and Granger, well, who the fuck knew she could be contrite?

It’s not that he had a problem trusting people, but he had lived his life. For the most part, people remained as deceptive and selfish as ever and it was up to him to change his tactics.

While he had never imagined himself as a father, it was a role he was beginning to enjoy. He saw the way Hadrian lit up when he entered the room and he felt something soften inside him. He felt wanted and accepted, things he had never felt before in his life.

When he was younger, he had always envied the easy popularity of Potter and Black. What made those two prats loved and him despised? Why did the strong bully the weak? Why did the sun shine? He might as well ask all those questions and hold his breath. Life just went that way.

He would have thought that at 49 he would be accepting of his fate and of his isolation, but that was not the case when it came to Hadrian. He just had to catch his son’s stare and he felt weak – but not in a negative way. It felt good to know he had a legacy when he passed on, that he had something to bestow upon the earth other than damned Potions. He hadn’t even wanted to be a Potions Master, and look where he ended up. Teaching the fucking subject!

Granted, Granger was technically the reason he had this new source of contentment, he might be willing to forgo his retribution strategy against her. He now would have Hadrian to himself, free of her influence and ready to mold in his own image. He had all the basic needs met and learned, but he still needed advanced life training. He was too trusting, for one thing, and gullible beyond reason. He also had to learn how to catch opportunity and seize it for all it was worth. He was too much a dreamer for Severus’s taste, too.

Father/son stuff, of course, nothing but essential. Hadrian’s mother had done a fine job, but now was his time to take over.

So he had to wonder, why had she given over control so quickly? That woman was such a mystery. She showed little to no remorse when he first saw her after eleven years, what had inspired her to make the leap? What was her angle?

Her behavior had always eluded him, especially when she was younger. Why did she pretend to accidentally douse both of them with the aphrodisiac? Whatever did the golden brainchild of Gryffindor see in the feared Potions master? He thought it might have been seen as a challenge to the ever so smart Hermione Granger, shagging her professor. He wondered if she did it to increase her grade, or gain access to his private library. He had often considered her ulterior motives for entering his bed, and more often than not they were not good.

Maybe she had wanted to carry his child. Maybe she had found a sort of blocking spell to counteract the contraceptive charm and thus become pregnant. She must have realized any child their combined essences created would be powerful. Leave it to a know-it-all to want a child to follow suit.

But that didn’t make sense. Why would she get herself pregnant for that reason? She didn’t seem the type to want to live through someone else, she was a go-getter. She would just do it herself.

It was slowly driving him insane, understanding her reasoning. He kept telling himself he didn’t want to know, he really didn’t want to know, but as he spoke more with his son and began to let his subconscious win, it spent more and more time at the top of his mind.

He was so busy thinking about stupid Granger even Hadrian noted his mental absence in their conversation.

“Dad!” The word interrupted his thoughts completely. They had techincally known each other only three weeks before Hadrian used it, and that was sparingly. It was October and the word still came as a shock. He must have looked rightly startled, because Hadrian began to blush. “Sorry sir, I wanted to get your attention. You’re not really listening, are you?”

“I apologize. I was in a sense, but I have a lot on my mind. That’s not fair to you,” he said, and meant it. “You know, you can call me that if you want.”

“Dad?”

Severus nodded, thinking the word over and over in his mind. It was amusing how three letters would mean so much. It was so...personal compared to 'father,' and not as infantile as 'Daddy.' Dad had a nice connotation. He had never refered to his father as 'Dad.' “But I will remind you to refrain from using it in public –I am still your professor after all.”

Hadrian was beaming. It made Severus feel warm inside to know he caused someone so much joy. “Of course! I don’t want to give you anything but respect in front of others. I don’t want them to think I’m getting more favoritism than I already am.”

Severus’s eyes narrowed. “And just who thought such a thing?”

Hadrian sighed, propping his head on one hand. “Pretty much everybody. They think I’m your spy or something, too. Last week Carlos and Ann snuck into the kitchens for a snack after curfew and didn’t invite me. I caught them coming back and they were bribing me with blood pudding to keep me from telling you. It was really insulting. I don’t even like blood pudding.”

Of all the cheek…Mr. Follows and Miss Carmichael were such annoying little Hufflepuff brats. He mentally decided to watch them closely in class and deduct points for any little infraction.

“Oh, don’t take our House points!” Hadrian must have seen the flash of annoyance that ran through him. Clever. “If anything, take them from me. I usually earn about fifteen every class with correct answers, so I can make them up easily, and it will look like you think I’m a dunderhead like everybody else.”

“Would that help you?”

“Yeah! They would stop being so nervous around me and start getting to know me. Kids can be so immature.”

Severus laughed. “Then kiss your points goodbye.”

“Good!” Hadrian said. “So are you thinking about mum?”

This caught him off guard. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you're face goes like that when you are. Annoyed,” Hadrian stated. “She wrote me and mentioned something about summer hols. Do you really want me to spend them with you?”

Severus nodded. “I want you to see Snape Manor. I also usually take several trips around the world looking for new Potions ingredients and information. It would be pleasant to have you accompany me. It would also give us more time to get acquainted and for you to see the world.”

“Really? Where do you usually go?”

“It all depends. Last summer I spent three weeks in China, and another couple of weeks in Siberia looking for the root of the Hidden Oater flower. As the name suggests, it is not easy to find.”

“Wow! Really? And you want me to come too?” Hadrian was practically jumping up and down in his seat, when suddenly something hit him. “But what about mum?”

“What about her?”

“She’s going to be so lonely without me in the summer. Can she come and visit?”

“Maybe,” Severus answered nervously.

Hadrian sighed. “I was mad at her when I found out that she never told you about me, but she did what she felt was right for me. I know it’s hard for you to forgive her, but we are a family.”

Family. A word he was not accustomed too, let alone could define. He knew what it meant in the literal sense, but not how it came to pass in his own life. He and Hadrian…they were family. Father and son. Granger was Hadrian’s mother, his family. Did that make them all a family...together? They did have a tentative alliance of sorts, maybe that meant…

“I never thought that you and I would work out so well. I always wanted you to…want me as a son but I wouldn’t have blamed you for being scared to find out you were a father. It’s a big deal, being a parent. Mum says it’s the best job she ever had,” Hadrian replied. “And during the Sorting, when I saw you faint, I was so scared. I thought, oh no – I’ve scared him off already! But I was lucky. You were only startled half to death.” Hadrian began to chuckle softly. “What were you thinking before that happened anyway?”

Ah, the accursed fainting incident. Luckily no student dared mention it, although Minerva was teasing him still. ‘Feeling faint today?’ she would ask and he would just glower at her. “I couldn’t believe a Snape was sorted into Hufflepuff,” Severus answered. “Neither could your grandmother. She fainted as well when I told her. It only reminded me that I am her son through and through.”

“I’d like to meet her,” Hadrian replied thoughtfully. “What is she like?”

“Horrible. You’ll thank me for not introducing you to her before you are ready,” Severus shuddered at the prospect. “Thank Merlin your own mother is nothing like mine. Let’s just say loving her son was not a priority.”

“I’m sorry. That sounds awful.”

“It was.”

“I know mum isn’t perfect, but I know she will always love me unconditionally. She learned that from Gramps and Gran. I wish you had the chance to learn that too,” Hadrian smiled softly. “It’s a good thing you have me then, right? I can show you.”

Severus smiled softly. “It is.”

Whether he liked it or not, she was going to be a part of his life if he wanted to be a part of Hadrian’s. He realized what a sacrifice she was making when she agreed to letting Hadrian spend his summers and alternating Christmas holidays with him. Maybe that wasn’t fair of him, now that he thought about it. He hardly knew Hadrian and already couldn’t imagine his life before him as an empty shell. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have something he loved so much taken from him by poetic justice.

Then again, maybe he understood all too well.

“I’ll owl your mother about visiting over the holidays. I think there is still a lot we have to discuss together.”

“Me too?”

“You are the reason we will have to work together, so of course.”

“Do you think…we could all have dinner together? Maybe next weekend?”

Oh, that was a bit too soon, he still had to digest all the information and think… “Sure.” He said it then immediately regretted it.

“Wow! Great! I’ll write her right away!” Hadrian grabbed a quill and parchment from his bag and began to start writing, saying each word as he wrote. “Dear Mum…”

Shit, he meant to say ‘not right now, maybe later, ask your mother first.’

For someone who had only been a parent a week, he was surprised by how easy those words came to mind.


Tbc.