I'm Beautiful, Damn It!
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
21
Views:
11,318
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Draco/Hermione
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
21
Views:
11,318
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Pansy And The Potato Sack
We don’t own Harry Potter, but we wish we did.
Chapter 10
Pansy and the Potato Sack
Pansy stood in the doorway tapping her foot furiously, in what she must have thought was sexy lingerie.
Draco stood up and staggered over to her. He tried to whisper, but it came out as more of a scream.
”What are ya doin here Pansy?” he slurred. “I’m trying to snog a beautiful drunken woman” he leaned in close and said in a terribly loud whisper “thats her, not you” giving her a wink.
“And you just ruined it all! Bad Pansy! Back to the Bell Tower!” he pointed to the door.
Hermione waved at Pansy.
“Its lovely to see you again, dear” she slurred. “Why are you wearing a potato sack? May I introduce you to my date?”
It was Draco’s turn to wave.
Hermione broke into snorts of laughter.
“Her name is Daisy, isn’t she pretty?”
Draco smiled sheepishly and fluttered his lashes.
“Draco, darling!” Pansy shrieked. “Why are you wearing eye shadow??” she asked, completely shocked. She leaned in close to his face “And is that.....lip gloss???”
“Why yes, Pansy my pug faced little bitch” he smacked its lips “Strawberry! It makes my lips shiny!”
Hermione raised her hand high in the air.
Draco turned to her and pointed to her nonchalantly “Yes, Ms. Granger, you?”
“I came up with that name! That was mine. Me” she pointed to herself, proudly.
“Indeed it was dear, 5 points to Gryffindor”
Pansy was outraged.
“You\'re both drunk!” she cried. She walked over to Hermione.
“What did you do?!” she demanded.
Draco called from behind them.
“Oh! Oh! She did Kareoke” he declared.
“You did WHAT?” she bellowed. “Oh, I’ve got your number Little Ms. Round heels!”
Hermione checked her feet.
“You’re just trying to steal my MAN AGAIN!” Pansy shrieked.
Hermione turned to Draco, he simply looked at her, covered in make up, with his hair sticking up in odd places.
Hermione managed to get out seriously.
“I’m not trying to steal your man....if you can call him that at the moment. We were just playing a little dress up.” she slurred.
“Oh well,” Pansy stated, still tapping her foot angrily. “Guess what I’m dressed up as?”
Draco’s hand immediately shot into the air.
“Yes, Draco?” asked Hermione.
“A pug faced bitch!” He announced. “I’ve seen that costume before, but if I were you, I would try not to look so constipated. Throws off the whole ensemble.”
Hermione began to snort again, but Pansy simply smirked.
“Nooo” she drawled. “I’m dressed up as the person whos going to tell McGonagall that her pride and joy is shit faced drunk and trying to hump the head boy whos VERY MUCH TAKEN?”
“Taken?” Draco asked. “Taken where? I wanna go byebye. Can we take her too? I like her, shes pretty and I almost got to feel her boobs...but you shot that all to hell didn’t you? 50 points from Slytherin Pansy for cock blocking!” he announced angrily, before breaking into fits of laughter.
Pansy looked at him disgustedly before turning and heading out the door.
Draco was walking behind her, mimicking her prissy walk and laughing, but her words shocked Hermione back into reality. She realized how serious their situation was. They could lose their badges.
“Draco.” she said.
“What?” He asked still laughing at Pansy, who had just left the common room.
“She is going to get McGonagall”
Draco smiled and nodded.
“So you realize what the means, yes?”
The grin fell from his face. He scratched his head.
“Shes bringing more whiskey?!?” he announced hopefully.
“No, Draco that means if we’re caught, we could lose our badges. You need to get cleaned and dressed immediately!” she demanded.
He snaked his arms around her waist.
“But I don’t wanna. I like being in my knickers with you.” he smiled happily.
She tried to shrug his arms off, but he held her tight.
“Draco!” she pleaded. “We’re going to be in so much trouble! Please, go put on clothes. I’ll do anything. Anything!” She was on the verge of tears.
“Anything?” he asked smiling.
“Yes, Draco, anything!” she plead.
“Thong!” he said excited.
“What?” she cried.
“You well wear that thong I picked out when they leave!” he said thrilled. Hermione thought about this a moment.
“Fiiiine!” she yelled.
“Okay! let’s get temporarily dressed!”
He ran to his room and for the first time, he happily said “Crotch Pheasant!”
Hermione dashed for her bathroom. She began to scrub the make up from her face and pulled on a large nightshirt.
She ran back out into the common room.
Draco emerged from his portrait.
“Tada!!!” he yelled.
He was still in his boxers. The only thing that had changed was it seemed his hair was sticking up a little more.
“Draco!” Hermione cried. “You’re not dressed! Nothing’s different!”
He looked at himself.
“I knew I was supposed to be doing something...”
She grabbed him by the arm and drug him into his bathroom.
She used a spell to smooth his hair. She began to scrub the eye makeup off his face, but when she reached his lips he began to protest.
“Noooo” he cried, slapping her hands away.
“Draco, please! McGonagall can’t see you in lip gloss! She’ll know something\'s up!” She attempted to wipe his mouth again, only to be swatted at again.
“NO!” he cried “It makes my lips shiny.”
“Draco I’ll give you the whole damn tube! Just let me wipe your mouth!” she pleaded.
He reluctantly allowed her to wipe the lip gloss from his lips.
“There!” she said. “Now to get you dressed!”
“Temporarily!” he reminded her.
She dug through his trunk and come up with a pair of green and silver pajama pants.
“Oh Hermione, what are pajama pants?” she mocked him, dangling the pants.
He grinned broadly.
“I fooled you!” he said proudly.
“Ugh, whatever, put ‘em on!” she tossed him the pants.
He turned them around and around for a second.
He clumsily put his leg in one of the holes.
“Quickly, quickly!” she urged.
He staggered for a moment before pulling them up around her waist.
Hermione ran for her bedroom, only to find Draco following her happily.
“No no!” she said “Back to your room. Pretend to be asleep! If she knocks on your door, don’t tell her anything! Let me do all the talking.”
He staggered back into his room.
Hermione dashed about the common room picking up the mess of food and trying to find a good place to stash the fire whiskey bottle. Her head was spinning and she felt slightly nauseas. Though she had been shocked back into reality, she was still quite tipsy.
She dashed back to her bedroom and into her bathroom. She quickly ran a toothbrush over her teeth to rid her mouth of the smell of alcohol.
And just in time as well.
“Ms. Granger, may I see you a moment?” called Professor McGonagall from the common room.
A/N: And thats chapter 10, folks! We’d like to thank everyone for their nice reviews! You guys rock so hard! You\'re really making this fun and we love you for it. :o)
Chapter 10
Pansy and the Potato Sack
Pansy stood in the doorway tapping her foot furiously, in what she must have thought was sexy lingerie.
Draco stood up and staggered over to her. He tried to whisper, but it came out as more of a scream.
”What are ya doin here Pansy?” he slurred. “I’m trying to snog a beautiful drunken woman” he leaned in close and said in a terribly loud whisper “thats her, not you” giving her a wink.
“And you just ruined it all! Bad Pansy! Back to the Bell Tower!” he pointed to the door.
Hermione waved at Pansy.
“Its lovely to see you again, dear” she slurred. “Why are you wearing a potato sack? May I introduce you to my date?”
It was Draco’s turn to wave.
Hermione broke into snorts of laughter.
“Her name is Daisy, isn’t she pretty?”
Draco smiled sheepishly and fluttered his lashes.
“Draco, darling!” Pansy shrieked. “Why are you wearing eye shadow??” she asked, completely shocked. She leaned in close to his face “And is that.....lip gloss???”
“Why yes, Pansy my pug faced little bitch” he smacked its lips “Strawberry! It makes my lips shiny!”
Hermione raised her hand high in the air.
Draco turned to her and pointed to her nonchalantly “Yes, Ms. Granger, you?”
“I came up with that name! That was mine. Me” she pointed to herself, proudly.
“Indeed it was dear, 5 points to Gryffindor”
Pansy was outraged.
“You\'re both drunk!” she cried. She walked over to Hermione.
“What did you do?!” she demanded.
Draco called from behind them.
“Oh! Oh! She did Kareoke” he declared.
“You did WHAT?” she bellowed. “Oh, I’ve got your number Little Ms. Round heels!”
Hermione checked her feet.
“You’re just trying to steal my MAN AGAIN!” Pansy shrieked.
Hermione turned to Draco, he simply looked at her, covered in make up, with his hair sticking up in odd places.
Hermione managed to get out seriously.
“I’m not trying to steal your man....if you can call him that at the moment. We were just playing a little dress up.” she slurred.
“Oh well,” Pansy stated, still tapping her foot angrily. “Guess what I’m dressed up as?”
Draco’s hand immediately shot into the air.
“Yes, Draco?” asked Hermione.
“A pug faced bitch!” He announced. “I’ve seen that costume before, but if I were you, I would try not to look so constipated. Throws off the whole ensemble.”
Hermione began to snort again, but Pansy simply smirked.
“Nooo” she drawled. “I’m dressed up as the person whos going to tell McGonagall that her pride and joy is shit faced drunk and trying to hump the head boy whos VERY MUCH TAKEN?”
“Taken?” Draco asked. “Taken where? I wanna go byebye. Can we take her too? I like her, shes pretty and I almost got to feel her boobs...but you shot that all to hell didn’t you? 50 points from Slytherin Pansy for cock blocking!” he announced angrily, before breaking into fits of laughter.
Pansy looked at him disgustedly before turning and heading out the door.
Draco was walking behind her, mimicking her prissy walk and laughing, but her words shocked Hermione back into reality. She realized how serious their situation was. They could lose their badges.
“Draco.” she said.
“What?” He asked still laughing at Pansy, who had just left the common room.
“She is going to get McGonagall”
Draco smiled and nodded.
“So you realize what the means, yes?”
The grin fell from his face. He scratched his head.
“Shes bringing more whiskey?!?” he announced hopefully.
“No, Draco that means if we’re caught, we could lose our badges. You need to get cleaned and dressed immediately!” she demanded.
He snaked his arms around her waist.
“But I don’t wanna. I like being in my knickers with you.” he smiled happily.
She tried to shrug his arms off, but he held her tight.
“Draco!” she pleaded. “We’re going to be in so much trouble! Please, go put on clothes. I’ll do anything. Anything!” She was on the verge of tears.
“Anything?” he asked smiling.
“Yes, Draco, anything!” she plead.
“Thong!” he said excited.
“What?” she cried.
“You well wear that thong I picked out when they leave!” he said thrilled. Hermione thought about this a moment.
“Fiiiine!” she yelled.
“Okay! let’s get temporarily dressed!”
He ran to his room and for the first time, he happily said “Crotch Pheasant!”
Hermione dashed for her bathroom. She began to scrub the make up from her face and pulled on a large nightshirt.
She ran back out into the common room.
Draco emerged from his portrait.
“Tada!!!” he yelled.
He was still in his boxers. The only thing that had changed was it seemed his hair was sticking up a little more.
“Draco!” Hermione cried. “You’re not dressed! Nothing’s different!”
He looked at himself.
“I knew I was supposed to be doing something...”
She grabbed him by the arm and drug him into his bathroom.
She used a spell to smooth his hair. She began to scrub the eye makeup off his face, but when she reached his lips he began to protest.
“Noooo” he cried, slapping her hands away.
“Draco, please! McGonagall can’t see you in lip gloss! She’ll know something\'s up!” She attempted to wipe his mouth again, only to be swatted at again.
“NO!” he cried “It makes my lips shiny.”
“Draco I’ll give you the whole damn tube! Just let me wipe your mouth!” she pleaded.
He reluctantly allowed her to wipe the lip gloss from his lips.
“There!” she said. “Now to get you dressed!”
“Temporarily!” he reminded her.
She dug through his trunk and come up with a pair of green and silver pajama pants.
“Oh Hermione, what are pajama pants?” she mocked him, dangling the pants.
He grinned broadly.
“I fooled you!” he said proudly.
“Ugh, whatever, put ‘em on!” she tossed him the pants.
He turned them around and around for a second.
He clumsily put his leg in one of the holes.
“Quickly, quickly!” she urged.
He staggered for a moment before pulling them up around her waist.
Hermione ran for her bedroom, only to find Draco following her happily.
“No no!” she said “Back to your room. Pretend to be asleep! If she knocks on your door, don’t tell her anything! Let me do all the talking.”
He staggered back into his room.
Hermione dashed about the common room picking up the mess of food and trying to find a good place to stash the fire whiskey bottle. Her head was spinning and she felt slightly nauseas. Though she had been shocked back into reality, she was still quite tipsy.
She dashed back to her bedroom and into her bathroom. She quickly ran a toothbrush over her teeth to rid her mouth of the smell of alcohol.
And just in time as well.
“Ms. Granger, may I see you a moment?” called Professor McGonagall from the common room.
A/N: And thats chapter 10, folks! We’d like to thank everyone for their nice reviews! You guys rock so hard! You\'re really making this fun and we love you for it. :o)