Change My World

And I look, and I see, you could be breaking souls again
-- The Doves


\"You almost killed him!\" How Snape managed to get there before Dumbledore was utterly beyond anyone. Madam Pomfrey had sent for both Heads of Houses as well as the Headmaster, but two minutes after the call went out Snape had blustered in like a panicky father as if he\'d expected such a summons. Perhaps he had. He seemed almost rehearsed in his accusations of Harry just beyond Draco\'s bed in a spot that would have been out of earshot had they not been shouting.

\"Not intentionally! And it\'s not-- he can take care of himself,\" Harry snapped back as he once again ran his fingers over the livid bruise growing on his jaw where the besieged Slytherin had punched him as he struggled for air.

\"He shouldn\'t have to!\" Snape argued as he peered back over his shoulder to see Pomfrey smoothing her fingers over Draco\'s fine flaxen tresses. The boy lay there motionless; his breathing was regular and steady. \"Are you sure he\'s asleep?\" the Professor asked.

\"So far as I can tell. Most healing potions do have the side effect of drowsiness,\" she answered. \"Although if you keep shouting I imagine he won\'t be asleep for much longer,\" she fussed before turning on her heel and heading back to her office to start writing up her diagnosis and course of treatment.

Snape looked at the fair-haired boy in the bed for a moment longer and then turned his glower back onto Harry and snapped over his shoulder, \"So long as he\'s comfortable. Draco doesn\'t deserve to be in this kind of pain.\"

Harry had no response to that. It wasn\'t as if he wanted Draco to hurt. That wasn\'t even in question. However, Snape\'s behavioral implication that Harry should leave wasn\'t affecting him in the least. The stubborn Gryffindor simply crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the Potions Master. \"Well if he\'s sleeping then clearly he\'s fine,\" Harry said as his chin moved up to gesture towards Draco. As much as he wanted to continue to give Snape the evil eye, his vision was constantly distracted by his worry for his boyfriend.

Loved him. Draco loved him. He\'d said it. Draco Malfoy had said it and in response Harry throttled him. Well, no. It wasn\'t Harry strangling him, but it was all the same to Draco. Harry couldn\'t help but stare at Draco\'s motionless body and wonder if he still did love him. Would he still love Draco if the roles were reversed? The anxiety of the act and the horror and humiliation of what had happened caused Harry to tighten the blanket around his body.

After he felt his fingers clamping down over Draco\'s larynx, Harry fought hard for control of his body but it was in vain. He was grateful that he and the rival Seeker were of equivalent weights, as it made it easier for Draco to throw Harry off. He couldn\'t stop thinking about the look of alarmed terror in those bulging grey eyes as the pale boy started to flail. For an appalling moment, Harry saw an almost resigned look on Draco\'s visage as if he were going to accept his fate as a strangulation victim. But then Draco rallied and his fingers tightened into a ball and his arm pushed into a hard swing and his fist bashed into Harry\'s jaw. The pain caught Harry\'s psyche off guard enough that it shook Voldemort\'s possession of his mind off. Once in control, the brunette recoiled from the gasping blond.

The infirmary. They had to get to the infirmary. Harry was desperate enough to get them to the infirmary that the Room of Requirement responded immediately. Later Potter would reflect that it would have been helpful to know the previous year that the enchanted room had the power to transport you to different locations. Even though it was fantastic to be there so quickly, it left both boys naked on a cot and thrashing about covered in sweat and each other\'s emissions. The lovers were flush with humiliation for participating in such a scene before Madam Pomfrey, but she simply walked in, assessed the situation and distributed blankets for the boys to cover themselves with.

Pomfrey asked no questions at first but instead tended to Draco\'s trachea noting aloud that often such injuries were tricky and needed treatment immediately. Harry gradually backed away to allow her space to work as he soothingly rubbed at the tender spot on his jaw. By the time she\'d finished hovering over the Slytherin, Draco\'s eyes were shut and he was breathing regularly as if dozing. Harry started forward to stand by Draco as he gave Pomfrey the explanation of his possession, only to be waved off by the nurse who cast a quick glance at Potter\'s jaw and handed him a cold compress and a cream for a the discomfort and muttered that she needed to send for the headmaster.

\"I just have one question, Mr. Potter,\" Snape drawled.

Harry\'s green eyes peered back toward Snape and he gave a nod.

\"Did he know?\"

\"Know what, sir?\"

\"Did he know this could happen?\"

\"What could happen?\" Harry asked insolently.

\"Mr. Potter, did you tell Draco of your connection to the Dark Lord?\"

Harry looked down.

\"Did you? Did you warn him what he\'d be risking in being with you? Did you BOTHER to inform him what might happen? Did you explain that he might be seen? Did you take any precautions at all?\" Snape badgered on. He moved closer to Harry, bearing down on the boy with his arms crossed. Snape\'s colorless sneer grew more menacing with each step.

Closing his eyes, Harry shook his head that he hadn\'t. He hadn\'t said a word. But how could he explain to Snape that they didn\'t talk much? That as involved as they were physically they just hadn\'t gotten to that point... or to any real point where talking was concerned?

\"You just let him walk into this? Blind-sided? Frightened? YOU COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!\" Snape snapped as he slammed both of his hands on Harry\'s shoulders and shook the boy angrily.

In response, Harry\'s hands flew up to Snape\'s pasty digits digging into his arm and he grabbed them tightly as he jerked away. \"YOU NEVER FINISHED MY OCCLUMENCY LESSONS! IT\'S ALL YOUR FAULT!\"

Snape drew back and was quaking with rage as he glared into Harry\'s reddened face. \"You stupid, insolent little fool! Are you going to use me as an excuse for all of your problems? To escape all of your responsibilities? You\'re arrogant and pompous and you\'re so lackadaisical as to allow these things to happen to people who love you. People around you don\'t just die... you KILL them with your thoughtlessness, you supercilious irritating little-\"

Harry had drawn his wand and he could feel the hair on the back of his neck prickle as the wild magicks that often escaped with his rising temper began to swarm around him. Likewise, Snape pulled his own wand looking all too eager to finally dual his troublesome student. The Gryffindor\'s mouth opened as he started to seriously believe he had enough anger to make the Cruciatus Curse work when his wand flew away as an old and familiar voice bellowed, \"Expelliarmus.\"

Collecting the wands from the air, Dumbledore shook his head at them both; he was unsure of which of the two he was more disappointed by. Behind him, Professor McGonagall looked sheepish as she observed Harry huddled under a blanket and the young Slytherin dozing on a cot a few yards away. Once the pair was disarmed, she stalked forward to an ashamed Harry and stood behind him to gape at Snape who had not relinquished his glowering at the youth.

\"Severus,\" Dumbledore said to lure the potion Professor\'s attention away from the Gryffindor. \"I apologize that it took so long for me to get here. I was required to inform the Ministry of this situation. Once apprised of it, they felt it was important to check on the state of Draco\'s family. I was regretfully informed that Narcissa Malfoy was--\"

\"Mum?\" a small and gasping voice cried out desperately from across the room. To emphasize his displeasure with what he knew Dumbledore was about to announce to the room, Draco\'s head shook back and forth as his pained eyes begged for the older man not to say it. His mother? She\'d never done anything! She didn\'t even know Draco was seeing anyone... that he was with a boy... that... \"No.\" he whispered again and then pulled his pale hands up to his face as his shoulders shook.

\"I\'m afraid so, Draco,\" Dumbledore uttered. \"She has... passed on,\" he said. After a moment of silence as they all took this in he added, \"Murdered.\"

\"What? Murdered?\" Harry screeched in his incredulity as McGonagall reached up to pat his back gently. \"Why?\"

\"Likely to punish Draco and perhaps also to goad his father. Lucius is still in Azkaban and is unscathed. It is hard to say exactly what treachery lies within the hearts of people so cold, it is-\"

\"She... never did... anything... to anyone!\" Draco half wailed and half gasped out. Professor Snape glared at Harry for a moment more before turning in a mass of swirling robes to attend to the boy he regarded as a son.

\"It is a great loss, but not one anyone could have-\" the headmaster started.

\"Potter knew the risks, he gambled with Draco\'s life and now...\" Snape turned his furious eyes over to Harry as Draco leaned in to push his mottled, bawling face into the murky fabric of the man\'s robes. \"You thoughtless, useless boy! You\'ve killed his MOTHER!\" Snape spat toxically at Harry. Draco let out another low moan against him and sobbed pathetically for his mother.

Draco loved his mother, perhaps even more so than his father. He found her to have a wicked wit and a keen intelligence. She was feisty and not at all the limp housewife that most took her for. Narcissa was manipulative and iniquitous to her enemies, but she took faultless care of her son. She always made sure that he had proper food for his sensitive palette rather than the vile leavings that constituted meals at Hogwarts. How the most perfect woman ever to grace this world had been worthy of being murdered was wholly beyond him.

Despite Snape\'s barbs, Harry wanted to be the one comforting Draco and so he started towards the boy on the cot. \"Haven\'t you done enough?\" Snape hissed to Harry.

\"I didn\'t mean to... I didn\'t think-\" Harry started.

\"That\'s precisely it, isn\'t it? You didn\'t think? Now look at what you\'ve done. Wasn\'t it bad enough that you deprived yourself of parents, now you would take the succor of family from someone you profess to love?\" queried Snape in irritation.

\"That is enough, Severus,\" Dumbledore stated simply as he raised an index finger up and gestured in a sideways motion as if to clear the air of any further rapport that involved blame. \"Though we may feel sorrow for what was and what might have been, we must now deal with what there is. What has happened,\" he said sagely.

Draco\'s sniffles echoed through the stone room but it was evident even by the sound that he was trying to master himself. He hated public outpouring of emotions, but after the roller coaster he\'d been on with the fright of having Harry pin him down, his post coitus confession of love that resulted in nearly losing his life, and now this. The Slytherin boy felt betrayal beset with pain and longing and on some level the realization that perhaps his father was right. Love weakened you. Love made you do and say stupid things. And love, in turn, really hurt. Although he\'d believed it would have been in a figurative sense, this had been thus far pretty literal.

The truth of it was, Draco hadn\'t been asleep. The potion had made him slightly drowsy which had given him the idea of feigning sleep. At first it was simply to avoid having to look Harry in the eye. He knew that Harry wanted to be there for him, but what could the Gryffindor do or say to make it better? And what would Draco say in response? \"That\'s all right, Harry, loads of people strangle their lovers after sex. There, there.\"

The pale Slytherin was frightened. He\'d never understood that Harry was in any way connected to Voldemort. At first the teen had felt guilty for not sticking up for his lover when Snape had gone at him. But the more he\'d listened to the banter between them, the more he was learning. It hadn\'t been Harry who had attacked him. Granted, Draco hadn\'t thought it was, but he had no idea who it was calling him a traitor. Now that at least made more sense, although he felt deceived that Harry hadn\'t mentioned the possibility of Voldemort\'s intrusion. It made the suspicious Slytherin begin to wonder just how much the Dark Lord had seen. But that wasn\'t a place his mind really wanted to go. Ever.

Then there were the abandoned the Occlumency lessons. That must have been what remedial potions had been. He remembered mocking the fact that Harry had needed them. Despite that clearly he did need them. But Malfoy also noticed that the brunette had never actually improved in his potion\'s class performance. Now that made sense. Snape had never uttered a word about what had really been going on in spite of Draco\'s nearly nightly prodding. Up until his own affair with the Golden Boy, Draco suspected that something rather untoward might be going on between Snape and Potter.

After a long silence in which Draco finally stopped sobbing and Harry broke away from McGonagall to get close enough to take up one of the pale boy\'s hands, Dumbledore said, \"Harry shall obviously have to continue with his Occlumency lessons.\"

\"I must decline. Despite the fact of Potter\'s clear breech of trust with me, it would seem that he can be broken through and it would compromise my position as being a spy for the Order,\" Snape muttered. Still, given what had happened, the dark-clad man tried to resign himself to having to resume the lessons.

\"I was rather thinking your protege...\" Dumbledore said as he gestured beyond Snape.

Harry\'s hand tightened around Draco\'s as he started to bob and weave his head to peer around the potion master\'s body to look at his lover, wanting to confirm via eye contact that Draco could actually do such a thing.

Since Draco\'s father\'s incarceration and Snape\'s subsequent counseling of the boy, it had occurred to the both of them that it would be handy for Draco to be able to shield his thoughts. Whether he would use this for good or for ill was up to him. The Slytherin head of house had firmly believed that Draco would come around and could accompany him as a spy for the Order. He had been mentoring him for months, teaching him both Occlumency and Legilimency. Unlike Potter, Draco had a natural power of concentration and the enviable position of not having a megalomaniac despot trying desperately to fight his way into his mind.

Also in contrast to Potter, Malfoy had never invaded the Pensieve on Snape\'s desk and had remained respectful despite the pain of the lessons and the splitting headaches he would often endure. The fair-haired boy had been an apt pupil, although clearly he hadn\'t had the experience and testing that the ashen potions bully had endured. The elder Slytherin had also been much more patient with Draco in his instruction practicing with him more like a sympathetic father. It was not inconceivable that Draco could teach Harry what he knew, and in reality he was likely the only one with the ability who was in a position to. Should Voldemort see him, well he was already compromised.

\"I don\'t think that\'s a good idea, he\'s already tried to kill Draco once. And now Draco has lost his mother to Potter\'s ineptitude, it\'s not fair to-\" Snape started to complain.

\"I\'ll do it,\" Draco croaked out. The room remained hushed for a moment, all eyes on all they could see of Draco, which was his pale hand conjoined with Harry\'s.

\"That isn\'t necessary, Draco, I\'ll-\" Snape said again, ready to volunteer to protect the youth.

\"No. I want to. They killed my mother... they... he... I... please,\" he whispered as he leaned to one side. Snape turned, finally exposing the blotchy and pinched face of the boy. There were still crescent shaped nail marks on his throat along with red finger bruises that made Harry wince in recognition of his grisly deed. The Gryffindor ached with the knowledge of what he\'d done, and yet, as he looked up at the heir of Malfoy, he wished he would look at him. He wanted to reassure Draco and for Draco to reassure him. His green eyes scanned the Slytherin\'s face, but the grey eyes remained elusive.

\"Very well then. Severus, I shall ask you to provide them a space to meet. Twice weekly. Be close at hand, but do not intrude, no matter how necessary you may think it is,\" Dumbledore warned.

Snape turned his back on Dumbledore and peered down at Draco, who looked up into the inky blackness of his mentor\'s eyes. \"Are you sure you want to do this?\" he asked.

The flaxen-haired teen nodded to him and let out a long breath of air. \"I have to. I want to. I... I need to,\" he finished. \"They stole... He stole my mother from me. I need to be a part of ending him.\"

Though Harry was wounded that Draco didn\'t mention him, he couldn\'t exactly blame the Slytherin and merely squeezed his hand in thanks. At long last, Draco turned his visage towards the unwilling hero. In that instant, Harry wished he hadn\'t met his gaze. There was such sorrow, acquiescence and flat coldness in those ominous grey eyes. \"Draco...\"

\"Malfoy,\" the blond growled frostily through his sneer.