Thank you, Miss Granger

Thank you, Miss Granger
Disclaimer : See first chapter.


Many thanks to Corazon and Estrilda who did a great job to make this chapter readable, and to Caelestia for her support.



Chapter Ten : Pawns hate Pity


Hermione looked at the wand and the young man in front of her.

She didn\'t feel threatened or in danger. She felt sad. Why did it have to be always so complicated? Right now, she wanted to hug the boy for a long time, without talking; but clearly it was not what was expected from her. She stuck to her position.

His mouth was bitterly twisted and his eyes burning with rage. She had absolutely no idea what could have provoked such wrath. Finally, he spoke.

\'I could cast Crucio. I know how to do it. I could even kill you.\'

She observed him awhile before answering carefully, detaching each syllabus.

\'Why would you need to kill me?\'

He snorted.

\'Do I need a reason?\'

The corner of his mouth was shaking a bit but his arm was firm.

\'Well, I suppose, you have a good reason for wanting to kill me now. It\'s not an insignificant desire.\'

He frowned and his face hardened.

\'Why would I need a reason? It could just be fun.\'

Hermione could see the tip of his wand under her nose but she forced herself to remain focused on the young man\'s dark eyes. Her mind was peaceful and she could perceive the emotions he was experiencing so easily. She even began to understand what might have provoked them.

She thought she was right at the time she had made the decision, but one cannot make somebody else happy against his will. Maybe she should have stopped when he had asked her. There would be nothing to regret now. She sighed pensively.

\'It was the first time.\'

That was no question. He straightened under her inquiring gaze.

\'Who cares?\'

\'I do.\'

There was another moment of silence. So what\'s next? she wondered. Is he going to say he didn\'t want a blow job? Or what? What was the point? She had not forced him, after all.

She felt a bit cold thinking back about the scene, remembering him protesting and her just pushing him back to the table. She had considered his protestations at the time as an expression of his anxiety. Nothing to be taken seriously. After all, she knew what was good for him, or so she thought.

She had liked that moment when he was under her control, his pleasure depending on her will. It had completely changed the way she saw fellatio. Men\'s sex were so sensitive. She had had the impression she could control his entire body and soul just pressing at the right place. Which was not that far from the truth, considering the way he hawillwillingly abandoned himself.

She had forced him a bit, actually, even if he was willing to be convinced. So what? What the hell? He had come so hard she had nearly choked. And that was definitely not part of the mission! She forced herself to remain calm. She was the elder, she had to keep her blood cold.

\'I do. I wanted it to be good for a first time. I felt responsible for you.\'

He shook his head fiercely.

\'You don\'t care about me. You\'re just interested in the potion.\'

There was a blank in Hermione\'s head and her mouth gaped slightly, like a perfect illustration of astonishment.

It took her a little while to recover and get in control of the furious urge she had to slap his face very hard. Slapping had never made people more intelligent and considering his wand still aiming at her face, it was not the best option at the moment.

He seemed to take her silence for an acknowledgment since he added boastfully:

\'I know what you feel. I know what you think.\'

\'What do I feel?\' She asked icily.

He grinned.

\'You are furious because your plan is wasted.\'

Actually, that was true, although he was mistaking about the nature of her plan. She also realized he had missed what was going on in her head during the intercourse, otherwise, he wouldn\'t make such paranoid stupid conclusions. And right now, she thought, he did not seem to be very perceptive either but then, she realized, he was so sure of his conclusions he probably considered it useless to check. In a way, he was so used being despised that he could not accept being loved.

From that observation, she could conclthatthat strong feelings blurred his Legilimens perceptions; therefore, as long as he was under pressure, her mind was on safer grounds. On the other hand, it was pretty useless if the result was a Crucio or something worse. What could she expect from a future Death Eater? That unpleasant thought brought back the headache she had almost forgotten. It was time to calm down the game.

\'Do you really think I\'m furious?\'

\'Yes.\' The answer came immediately.

He made a pause before adding.

\'And I think you\'re being manipulated.\'

Actually, she could not deny it. Since the beginning of the mission, she had the feeling she was a pawn. Whatever she decided to do, she always had the impression she was not completely free, that her decisions had been planned, anticipated. While she thought she was going away from the mission, having a bit of fun and tenderness with a young boy, she might have been doing exactly what was expected from her. She shivered. It was horrible how predetermined her life and decisions could sound considering the situation from that point of view.

She sighed and stretched her arms, ignoring the wand pointing at her face.

\'Who knows, you may be right after all. You\'re kind of an intelligent boy.\'

She smiled, as his reaction was to search her face and mind, as if to make sure she was telling the truth.

\'Intelligent,\' she laid on the word, opening her mind to let him know she believed every word she was saying, \'and also a bit paranoid.\'

He looked at her suspiciously for a long time. It seemed like ages before he finally let his wand down slowly, still surveying her.

\'I may have good reasons for that.\'

She couldn\'t help her gaze to rest on his injured hand.

\'It mustn\'t be easy to have a father like yours.\' e loe looked puzzled and then, when he realized she was staring at his bandage hand, and he held up his chin as to dare her to pity him.

\'He is hard but for my own good I guess. He doesn\'t want me to be a boastful fool like... others.\'

\'No need to ask for names,\' she thought.

\'Is it why Siri... Black and Potter are so upset with you?\'

\'They\'re afraid of what I know about them. Afraid to be expelled because they didn\'t respect the rules.\'

He had a sour smile. Hermione was not sure she wanted to hear more unpleasant stories about Sirius and James. There was something odd however. If he had Legilimency skills, how come Sirius Black had managed to fool him in the Whomping Willow\'s case?

Maybe the answer was in his eager eyes. She could not read thoughts as he could, but his emotions were as clear as crystal: pride of his personal abilities, contempt of the others who were weak and a deadly desire to prove he was right. Aire,ire, which like any desire, was blinding. She wished she could save him the unpleasant experience of the Whomping Willow. Would that really change everything in the future? What if she tried to do it in a subtle way?

\'Do you think they\'ll try to do it again?\'

As she spoke, the headache went back, like an old wound awaking.

\'I know they will.an tan tell.\'

The pain was becoming more present, as to warn her she was going on forbidden grounds. Where did it come from? The boy in front of her didn\'t seem to be aware of it. He was beaming with pride.

\'I\'m a Legilimens. I can read minds. I can tell when people are lying. I can tell when you are l.\' .\'

She hardly repressed a smile at this boastful statement, but then the painihinihilated any thoughts in a flash. It was so timely she could not prevent herself from thinking it had a meaning, or at least a definite purpose.

He was right, she was a pawn and it was an unpleasant feeling. Especially watching the young man in front of her. Another pawn.

e yoe you ok?\'

\'Yes.\' She was breathing with difficulty but managed to put a faint smile on her face. \'Just a moment of painful lucidity.\'

He smiled back but his gaze was somehow tainted by bitterness.
\'I know it\'s a bit scary. Actually, it\'s a mixed blessing; sometimes it\'s better not to know what people really think or feel. Sometimes I think it would make my life easier.\'

Hermione nodded but she couldn\'t speak. The feeling of a lump in her throat was overwhelming. The boy\'s words echoed in mindmind and she knew there was nothing she could do. She had hardly ever felt so powerless. She did not only heard the words, she knew what they implied, she could almost feel the chain of events that was about to take place. It would lead to the Whomping Willow incident and ultimately to a young boy becoming a Death Eater.

Severus did not look at her. He was lost in his thoughts, which was probably for the better in terms of strategy. She had no idea how he would react if he tried to read her mind now. The boy seemed already so bitted yed yet so eager to progress and to learn. She knew the balance between Dark and Light forces was not lost at this point, but it would be soon.
If only she could...

At this point, the pain was so thrilling she had to close her eyes.

\'What is it?\'

\'Nothing. Just a reminder.\'

She opened her eyes to find him so close. He seemed to hesitate, not sure fferffer would be appreciated. She liked the way he looked at her, no hypocrisy nor pity, just attention and concern. She liked his pride and the way he refused to be pitied. She liked the way he applied the same exigency to others. But whatever she liked and felt, she knew what had to be done. Empathy was a mixed blessing, she had already learnt that.

\'We all have wounds,\' she said, to answer his non-formulated question, \'Wounds to prevent us from making the same mistake over and over again.\ \'I \'It looks like you want to do the same mistake again, then.\'

\'Probably.\'

Was it because she had managed to relax a bit, or because their eyes met? A flash of understanding went through his face. Again, she felt him very close, and suddenly moving inside her head.

But she could not stand the pain. With her arms and mind, she cast him away, violently. And fainted.


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She opened her eyes to find herself lying on the floor with an unpleasant taste of blood in her mouth. He looked anxiously at her. His concern seemed genuine as he helped her to stand up. She felt unbalanced and dizzy.

\'What happened?\'

\'I don\'t know, it is as if some parts of your mind were locked and something or someone was pushing me outside.\'

She nodded.

\'What is it? Do you know?\'

He remained silent for a moment, clearly considering to what extent he would answer.

\'It felt like a spell. A Dark spell, I would say. Do you have any idea who may have done that to you?\'

She looked at him with horas sas she remembered the little pain she had felt during the discussion with her Potions Master. As if to reinforce her conclusions, the pain became more accurate as his image continued to delve in her mind. She felt like crying or bursting into laugh hysterically.

\'The bastard, the fucking bastard...\'

The young boy in front of her was at lost for words as she grabbed his robes to pull him back to her. She wanted to dive into the black eyes, she wanted to forget about the mission and the pain.

\'Is there anything I can do to help?\' he asked.

At this point, her nerves broke down and she burst into a long hysterical laugh.

*End of chapter*

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Many thanks to all my reviewers for their critics and encouragements.

More specific answers:

Hopelsydreaming - Very happy with your comments about my writing. The use of the word \"penis\" (\"her mouth was soft and warm on his penis\") was the idea of my precious beta-rr Cor Corazon. I let her know you liked it. About the cliffie... I know, I know. But I have to save some ans for for the next chapters, and that\'s the way my story is developing in my head, step by step. I\'m not sure I understood your comment about Snape considering Hermione as his lover though... ???

Alicia - Thanks for the encouragements!!!

Ladyshiva - I\'d like to see Hermione and older Snape have some \"interaction\" when she gets back \"Interactio Err Errr... Do you regard it as likely considering the way the story is evolving?

Greenstuff - I\'m not sure if I\'m more sorry for Young Sev for being royally fucked up, or for the Adult Sev who saw Hermionein his class first year and was like \"what the??\" LOL. Interesting point.

Deb - Thanks a lot. Very happy you like my view of Severus Snape\'s past and found the chapter coherent as a consequence. Not seeing your review immediately, I wondered what had happened. I\'m getting old, getting all fuzzy when my habits are changed. LOL
Hope you\'ll enjoy the end of the story.

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