Dirty deeds

3 January

Last day at Malfoy Manor today, and so all of us to be loosed onto the unsuspecting world. Harry and Draco to go back to connubial bliss of flat in London, Ginny to go back to her studies at Oxford, and me to go back to my job. Felt mild sense of depression. Usually love job, as involves lots of research into abstruse matters that no one else understands. Gives you lovely sense of own importance when every day surrounded by people telling you how right you are, or it should. Unfortunately what I am surrounded by is people telling me that they don’t understand, and surely that the distinction between three times counter-clockwise and twice counter-clockwise isn’t all that important, and why did their hand drop off when they did that, surely that wasn’t supposed to happen?

Had sudden surge of sympathy for Severus. At least I never ended up teaching. Wonder not that sarcastic defensive bastard but that not actually homicidal bastard. Temptation must be almost overwhelming to be just a little slow on the intervention that would prevent Longbottom from blowing himself up. Not to kill necessaribut but perhaps to incapacitate for a while.

And a potions master can’t even bite his fingernails – goodness only knows what would happen if you inadvertently gnawed an unpredictable combination of potions ingredients and started seeing green and white striped elephants.

Severus hadn’t snored at all in the night and prospect of being parted from him for weeks made me feel, well, affectionate.

Have heard – Ron dropped frequent and unsubtle hints – that man’s fantasy to be woken with blow job. Well, if you’ll pardon the pun, blow that for a game of soldiers. Severus would have to do something pretty bloody stunning to warrant that.

Also have decided that men like dogs and need to be trained. And not just because of their habit of urinating up all kinds of structures in public.

If you allow a puppy to sit on the sofa then he will expect to sit on it as a grown dog – which is ok if it’s a whippet and can apply gentle foot to nudge him off when unwelcome but a hell of a problem if it’s a Great Dane and nothing short of a crane will move him. Severus seems to me to be more of a Great Dane than a whippet and therefore important that ground rules established very early on. Blow jobs obviously important part of warm and loving relationship, particularly if want the reciprocal process, however they should be strictly rationed. Spare the rod or spoil the man.

To continue the canine analogy wonder if collar and lead……no, best not go there. At least for now. Better keep in reserve the rolled up newspaper of authority for spanking the naughty bottom of rebellion though. Training Snape’s the Granger way. You can’t get them to sit or stay, but if you know the right hand signals you can certainly get them to stand. It may not be a hot mouth and a prehensile tongue, but it was definitely welcome.

Severus certainly isn’t one for conversation in the morning.

Severus had clutched me to him all night, as if I might try to run away. Whenever he wakes, there is always this tiny moment of surprise on his face, as if he doesn’t expect me to be there. As if he doesn’t expect anyone to be there. I don’t suppose that he gets much company in Hogwarts dungeon, but when I noticed it I was filled with an urge to bring James Potter back from the dead. I’d hang him upside down over the giant squid and see how HE liked it. Obviously not told Harry this as would upset him, but still it isn’t right that anyone should have that look in their eyes. One day I hope to see him wake up and simply smile, just to look happy.

Somewhere along the line it looks like I have decided that Severus is permanent in my life. I can only hope that he feels the same way. At some point we are going to have to have ‘a talk’. Believe that men are genetically predisposed to avoiding this sort of thing. Never mind Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus; it’s more a case of Men are thick, lazy bastards who have wax in their ears who expect the world to revolve around them, and Women seem to be happy to do that.

Never understood it myself. Neither had Ginny bless her. Always had her mother’s example before her, and could see where being earth mother to eight children very little different from being a doormat.

Both Not-so-little Severus and Severus were stirring.

Have to find other name for Not-so-little Severus, as its quite a mouthful.

Indeed.

Sleepily he moved his mouth along the curve of my neck, and murmured a good morning, before moving on to nip at my earlobe. One of my hands was gently fluttering along his thigh, the flat of his stomach, and then down again, without ever touching him where he so obviously desired to be touched. The other hand was stroking the nape of his neck and tangling in his hair, in just the way he liked. I pulled him closer into a kiss, and lazily we played at come and go. Not battling for possession, but advancing and retreating each in our turn.

But then the mood changed, and he rolled over and above me, his hands moving to grip my shoulders tightly, and his tongue was aiming for the depths of my throat, and it was just like the evening of the party when he had had me up against the wall. Except this wasn’t over-excitement or enthusiasm, this was desperation.

This wasn’t a dog who needed to be kept off the sofa in case he started taking things for granted, this was a dog who knew he wasn’t supposed to be there and was expecting to be kicked off at any moment.

In fact, Severus thought that once we went our separate ways after breakfast that would be it. I thought we were both of the same mind, that the relationship was like one of Albus’s damn sherbert lemons – let’s suck it and see – but he hadn’t even thought that fheadhead. He was just sitting on the sofa whilst the sitting was good. Felt strong urge to add Sirius to list of people to bring back from the dead to punish, and ditto Remus – someone I had previously liked before – although would have necessitated killing him first.

Had split seconds to make the decision, could let him carry on to the natural conclusion and then part amicably enough. He would retire to the dungeons and lick his wounds in silence, and I presumably would find someone else. Someone easier, nicer, who didn’t snore, was housetrained, duller, and who probably couldn’t do tricks with his nose.

Hard to tell whether acute sensation of pain in ribs and feeling of sickness due to strength of Severus’s grip or heartbreak, but suspected the latter.

Therefore course of action clear, and take advice offered to Ron oe tie timing of suggestions of buggery – shag him senseless and then make my move when he was still recovering his breath and would agree to anything.

Proceeded to put plan into action. One knee – very carefully – placed between his legs, and sudden surge, and he was on his back with me wriggling around on top of him.

He was uncertain at first, perhaps his other partners had never taken the lead before, maybe he just didn’t expect it from me. But he warmed to the idea soon enough. I soothed him with gentle touches, then followed where my hands had been with kisses. I stroked his neck and whispered in his ear of how desirable he was. Every time he moved to return the favour I pressed him down on the bed, and told him not to move. By the time I was kissing the soft surfaces of his inner thigh he was whimpering.

I rose up over him, straddled his thighs, and took Not-so-little Severus in my hands. He watched me with smouldering, hooded eyes as I slid down to claim him as entirely mine. I’d never done this before, for some reason Ron was vehemently opposed to me taking the dominant position, probably because it threatened his masculinity – what little there was.

So at first it was tricky finding the right angle and movement, but he was patient. I soon noticed that clenching my muscles as I rose got a very satisfactory response. Severus moved one hand to my hip, and encouraged me to move faster. The other hand was busy between my thighs. I kept a steady pace, but always just a little slower than he liked, teasing him until he told me that if I didn’t get a bloody move on he would kill me.

And so I did.

He lay under me gasping for breath, and the sense of power and control I had over him was exhilarating. I felt the familiar spiralling begin, and I saw his face contort as the final climax took us more or less together. I slumped down on his chest and started giggling. ‘I thought death threats weren’t acceptable, Severus.’ He rolled me over, and came to rest with his lips pressed to my throat. And then I was rewarded with possibly the rarest sight on the planet – he laughed.

And while he was happy and relaxed and fundamentally defenceless I pounced. A few quick questions determined that he didn’t need to go back to Hogwarts that night, that he would like to have dinner at my flat, and that he was free next weekend.

Hallelujah.

Double hallelujah.

Triple hallelujah with knobs on.

Being a sex kitten is a lot easier than I thought, and I still hadn’t had to fall back on Pug-faces tricks like fluttering eyelashes, winding curls round fingers, and generally pretending to be thicker than bottled pig shite.

Not sure that Pug-face pretending

Can’t call her Pug-face anymore.

Damn.

Must now say that not sure that Pansy pretending.