I Don't Want To Be Lonely Anymore

The window seat where she sat was her favorite place in the whole house. Not only was it in the library, but the window was specially charmed to change the scene to whatever the person wanted. At the moment the window was showing a beach scene at sunset fading into twilight. The sand was silver and the water was green in the shallows and dark blue further out. The last rays of the sun could be seen on the far reaches of the horizon and on the clouds. The colors closer to the horizon ranged from pink to orange to red and the further out they got the darker they became until it was all purples and blues. The first stars were starting to come out as well, shining like far away jewels in the sky.


It was a breath taking view, one of Hermione’s favorites if truth be told, but she was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t see any of it. She didn’t register how much time was passing, nor did she register the small noises of people coming in and out of the library to check on her. It was a little unnerving for the people living in the house, or just passing through, to see Hermione looking so sad and thoughtful. She was usually so happy and always had a ready smile on her face and a kind word for everyone. She listened to other peoples problems and helped out wherever she could. She had a good job and good friends who cared about her. There didn’t seem to be a reason for her to be unhappy, but she was and she wasn’t about to enlighten anyone about what was bothering her either.


It was something that had been hovering in the back of her mind for a long time and had slowly been pushing its way forward. She was lonely. Yes, she was surrounded by people all of the time, living in Grimmauld Place put her at the center of a crossroad where everyone eventually passed through, but it wasn’t the same. What she really wanted was someone to love. Someone to love her in return, to hold her and kiss her. Someone to be strong for her when she couldn’t be. Someone to sleep next to at night and wake up next to in the morning. She hadn’t had that in so long that she was starting to forget what it was like and she missed it terribly.


“Hermione? Hermione!”


“Wha - what? Did you say something Sirius?”


“Yes as a matter of fact I did. I was calling your name to get your attention and to see if you were all right.”


“Of course I’m all right. Why wouldn’t I be?” She didn’t think she had done anything to make him look at her with such worry in his eyes and concern in his voice, but apparently she had.


“Hermione we are all worried about you. You’ve been sitting here staring out the window for the last two hours, no one has seen you move from this position once in that time and your face looks so sad it’s enough to melt the coldest of hearts. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”


Hermione was startled to hear how long she had sat there for. She hadn’t thought it was that long. It had seemed like only minutes. “Has it really been two hours?” He nodded. “Wow, I didn’t realize. Oh well. And there’s nothing particularly wrong. I was just thinking that’s all.” “Then why did you look so sad Hermione? Everyone who came to check on you all said the same thing. That you looked sad and like you were hurting.”


“I’m sorry to have worried everyone, but it really is nothing for you guys to concern yourselves with. Now if you will excuse me I’m tired and want to go to bed. Goodnight.”


“What about dinner? I know you haven’t eaten anything since lunch and even that was small. Aren’t you hungry at all?”


“No I’m not. Goodnight.” And with that she got up and left the library.


Once Hermione was back in her room she closed the door and rested her forehead against the cool wood for a few moments before gathering her things to take a quick shower before she went to bed. She figured the shower would help clear her thoughts so she might be able to get a little bit of real sleep tonight.


In the bathroom she turned on the water to almost scalding hot before slipping out of her clothes and stepping under the steaming cascade. It took a moment for her skin to adjust to the temperature of the water, but once it did she started to relax a little. She was stiff after having sat unmoving for so long and the hot water was working miracles on her tense muscles. Now if only she could keep her head clear of the unwanted thoughts then the shower would be perfect. But of course the moment she thought that she could feel them creeping up on her. She was alone, she would always be alone and so on and so forth. The logical part of her said that of course she would find someone eventually, she just had to keep trying. Just because things hadn’t worked out with Ron or the few other boyfriends she’d had since him didn’t mean that she was going to be alone forever. But her emotions never did like to listen to logic and so the comforting thoughts were pushed aside by the unpleasant ones. Once they started to invade her mind, Hermione lost interest in the blissful heat of the shower and quickly finished washing her hair and body. Once out she brushed her hair and teeth and went to bed.


Downstairs it was quiet as Sirius, Remus, Harry and Draco sat around the table eating and drinking and listening to the sounds from above as Hermione got ready for bed. “Harry,” Sirius began, “you’re her best friend right? Do you have any idea at all what could be bothering her?” Harry looked down at his plate and started nibbling on his bottom lip as he thought about it. “Honestly I can’t think of anything that could be bothering her. As far as I know her work is going well and she seems to be happy living here. She hasn’t said anything to me about anything being wrong or anything to make her worry. This is the first time I’ve ever seen her like this. Even after the breakup with Ron and any other boyfriends she's had she wasn’t like this.” Draco nodded his head in agreement. “And besides, even if she is upset we wont learn anything unless she chooses to tell us. And for some reason I get the feeling that she wont.”


“You know people always go to Granger for help with their problems, but who does she go to? As far as I can tell she solves her own or just doesn’t talk about them at all.” Six pairs of eyes turned to Draco after he said this and he suddenly felt self-conscious. “ Well it’s true.” he mumbled. “Whenever there’s a problem, everyone looks to Granger for help and never mind that she might have some of her own to deal with. She doesn’t like to say no so she always helps. And if she‘s busy helping everyone else, who helps her?” “You know Draco, you have a very good point. She’s always the first person to come to mind whenever there’s a problem I need help with or just need someone to talk to. How come we never realized this before?” Harry said shaking his head.


“It just never occurred to us Harry.” Remus replied. “It just happened. We are each at fault here for not taking into consideration Hermione’s wants and needs over our own. We just got comfortable and didn’t realize what was happening.” Sirius nodded his head at what Remus said and when he thought about it he saw how true it was. Every time he had a personal problem he usually went to Hermione before anyone else to ask her what she thought about it. She was his confidant and apparently she was everyone else’s as well. So who was a confidant for her?


If she didn’t talk to Harry and Ginny like he had thought she did, then there probably wasn’t anyone she shared her deepest fears and worries and secrets with. “So what are we going to do then? We can’t just let her stay sad and depressed all of the time like she is now, but if she wont talk about it to anybody than what can we do to cheer her up?”


They all sat in silence for a few minutes trying to think of an answer to that question. Harry realized there wasn’t much they could do. “The only thing that we can really do is show her how much we love her and appreciate her and care for her. We have to show her that she can come to us about anything the way that we go to her. It’s not fair to her that she has carried all of our problems on her shoulders as well as her own all this time.”


They all nodded in agreement. What Harry said made sense. “Harry you should talk to everyone else about this as well. I know it’s not just us that takes advantage of Hermione like we have been. Sirius and I will talk to anybody that we see as well.”


“Not a problem. In fact, I’m going to the Burrow tomorrow so I’ll start there.”


“Good. Now we need to think of something big that we can do to make Hermione feel loved and appreciated. Any ideas?”


“What about a party? Harry weren’t you just thinking the other day about going gift shopping to find her a good birthday present? We could throw her a giant surprise birthday party.”


“Draco you are absolutely brilliant! I knew I loved you for a reason.” Harry said then laughed at the look on Draco’s face. “I mean I love you for other things as well, but that was a really good idea.” Draco just scowled so Harry leaned over and gave him a kiss to soothe his temper. “I really do love you Draco, you know that right?” Draco relented and smiled at him. “I know you do. And I love you too.”


Sirius and Remus shared an amused glance thinking about what it was like when they were a new couple. They figured they had been just as mushy and lovey-dovey as well and couldn’t repress the smiles that broke through onto their faces. “All right let’s figure out the basics that we are going to need if we are going to plan the best surprise party possible for Hermione.” They spent the next couple of hours with their heads together starting to plan. When they had all agreed on what was needed to be done and who should help and where to look Draco and Harry left to go home to their flat.


“Remus how could we not have seen what we were doing to Hermione?!” Sirius was really upset that he had never realized what was happening. Remus gathered Sirius in his strong arms and held him close. One arm around his waist and the other stroking his hair trying to soothe him. “Sirius please don’t blame yourself for this. It is not your fault. Do you hear me? Not your fault.” Sirius just nodded his head and buried his face in Remus’ shoulder taking comfort from the strong arms around him and the scent that was purely Remus. “Sirius, I know how you feel. I’m angry at myself for not seeing it as well.”


“How could we have missed such an obvious thing though?” “I don’t know Sirius. It’s late, why don’t we go to bed and think more about this in the morning all right?” Sirius nodded his head and looked up into Remus’ eyes. “All right.”


Remus lowered his head and captured Sirius’ lips with his own. It was a soft kiss meant to give comfort, but after a moment it started to heat up. Sirius reached up with one hand and grabbed the back of his head to bring their lips even closer together while the other reached around Remus‘ waist to bring their bodies closer as well. He traced his lips with his tongue and, with a groan, Remus parted his lips and allowed Sirius’ tongue into his mouth. Their tongues battled for dominance for a few moments before Sirius relented and allowed Remus to take control of the kiss. He swept his tongue into every corner of his mouth savoring every taste and the feel of Sirius’ tongue against his. He pulled back panting and looked at Sirius. He loved seeing his lover like this. Lips swollen from the intense kiss, pupils dilated and his body shaking with need.


Remus leaned over and practically growled into his ear, “Let’s go upstairs to the bedroom. Once there I want you to strip for me and then I will fuck you long and hard. And if you’re a good boy, I’ll think about not tying you up.” He licked and started nibbling on the lobe of Sirius’ ear and felt the mans knees shake as he tried to stay upright. Sirius loved it when Remus took control like this, though it only usually happened around the full moon. “Will you be a good boy Sirius?” He nodded. “I can’t hear you Sirius. Tell me, will you be a good boy, or do I have to tie you up and spank you again?” Sirius swallowed a few times before he was able to find his voice and croak out an answer, “I’ll be a good boy Remus.”


“Good.” With that Remus swept him up in his arms and climbed the stairs while kissing him again and then going back to working on his ear and neck. Anywhere he could reach with his lips and teeth. He finally managed to find the door to their room and open it. He set Sirius down onto his feet and kicked the door closed behind them then walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. “Now, strip.”


Sirius looked at him and flashed a wicked smile before bringing his hands up to the hem of his shirt and slowly lifting it. Once it was halfway up his torso he turned around and lifted it completely over his head and threw it to the side. He knew how Remus loved to see his muscles ripple whenever he moved. He swayed his hips from side to side a few times as he undid the button and zipper to his jeans. A low growl came from Remus to show his appreciation for the movements. Sirius looked over his shoulder so he could watch Remus’ face. It was always so expressive and right now was no exception. Remus’ eyes were shining and filled with lust and love, his lips were slightly parted and he was panting and growling as he watched the strip show. Sirius hooked his fingers under the waistband of his jeans and boxers and slowly slid them down over his arse and his legs. The pants and boxers pooled at his feet so he stepped lightly out of them and kicked them off to the side where he had thrown his shirt. He swayed his hips a few more times and turned round fully to face Remus.


Remus felt himself harden painfully inside of his pants. The man standing before him was absolutely beautiful. He stood and walked over to Sirius and crashed their lips together tilting his head back to deepen it. His hands ran up and down Sirius’ back feeling the soft flesh before he moved them down to cup his arse. He kneaded the muscle there for a few minutes before slipping his fingers between the cheeks to tease him. Sirius hissed as he felt the fingers stroke over and around his sensitive hole. He pushed his hips back a little to try and get more pressure, but Remus was going to do things his way. He stopped teasing the hole and brought both of his hands around to the front to start playing with his nipples. He kept his touches feather light and soon had Sirius writhing in his arms and begging for more.


“Remus… please… I need you… want you… fuck me… please…” Remus chuckled and led Sirius over to the bed. Sirius felt the bed behind his knees before Remus pushed him down on top of it. He felt his hands being pulled over his head and realized to late that Remus had tied them there. His eyes widened in surprise and he pulled at the bonds to test them, but they were to strong and there would be no escape. His eyes closed as he thought of what was to come.


He opened his eyes in time to see Remus take off his shirt and pants. As every glorious inch of skin was revealed his breathing became even more ragged. Once Remus was naked he raked his eyes down his strong chest to his belly and followed the little trail of dark hair all the way down to its treasure. He never got enough of looking at Remus’ cock. It was thick and long and filled him like nothing else ever could. “Remuuuuuuuuus…. Please!”


He gave a dark chuckle before climbing on the bed and onto Sirius. “When you beg so prettily, how can I resist?” he said before leaning down and capturing Sirius’ lips again in a searing kiss. He broke the kiss and started kissing and nibbling his way down Sirius’ body worshiping every inch of it. When he got to his cock he didn’t touch it with his mouth instead letting his breath ghost along the head and down the sides of the shaft. Sirius moaned and thrust his hips into the air desperately seeking contact. Remus just kept on breathing on him and along his inner thighs as well.


Sirius couldn’t take much more of this or he would go crazy. “Remus please. I can’t take much more. Please touch me, suck me, fuck me please!” He consented and finally gave Sirius what he wanted and wrapped his lips around the head of his cock. Sirius let out a groan at finally feeling the wet, hot heat of his lovers mouth. Remus swirled his tongue around the head and licked the slit as well before taking the whole of him into his mouth and down deep into his throat. Sirius bucked his hips up and Remus placed his hands on them to control them. He started bobbing his head up and down slowly making sure to suck hard on the way up. After a few minutes of this Sirius was a boneless mass of pleasure. He couldn’t form any coherent thoughts and when he felt the heat leave his cock he groaned at the loss. “Be patient love.” Remus said before kissing his way back up Sirius’ body to his lips. He reached over and grabbed a jar of lube off of the bedside table. He dipped to fingers inside and coated them in it before lowering his hands to Sirius’ arse. He circled his hole a few times before sliding one finger inside slowly. Sirius let out another moan and Remus had a hard time controlling himself. He wanted to give his lover as much pleasure as possible and he wouldn’t do that by losing control. Once he was sure of himself he thrust his finger in and out a few times before adding a second and then a third. Sirius was panting and moaning his name over and over again before he managed to open his eyes and say, “Gods Remus just fuck me already please!”


Remus smiled at him and kissed him as he withdrew his fingers and lined himself up at his entrance. He decided to give Sirius a break and entered him with one swift thrust. Sirius threw his head back and screamed in painful pleasure. Remus stilled giving him a minute to adjust before he began to thrust in and out slowly and teasingly. Almost pulling out completely before slamming back in.


Sirius was in heaven. He could imagine only one thing better than what he was feeling now, but he would think about that later. Right now he would just focus on the amazing feeling of Remus being in him and filling him completely. “Faster Remus! Harder!” he screamed. Remus was swiftly losing control of himself as he sped up his pace. Sirius was just so hot and tight and it felt so good. He released Sirius’ hands and they immediately went around his shoulders pulling their bodies closer together.
“Fuck Remus, yes, yes, yes!” he kept screaming over and over.


Remus reached between them with one hand and started pumping Sirius in time to his thrusts. Sirius came with a scream and clamped his muscles around Remus. The added pressure was to much for him and he shot deep within Sirius as he came as well. Remus fell boneless on top of Sirius and they lay like that for a few minutes before Sirius started to groan in protest at the added weight. Remus slid out of him and then rolled onto his side before gathering Sirius in his arms and giving him a soft kiss. “I love you Sirius.” “I love you too.”
Before they fell asleep Sirius was thinking about Hermione again. “Remus?”


“Hmmm?”


“What are we going to do about her? I hate the thought of her being sad and alone and not with us.” “I know Sirius. I know. But at the moment there’s not much we can do. We have waited this long so we will have to be patient for a little while longer.”


“I love her Remus.”


“I know. I love her too. We will think of something so don’t worry love.” “Thank you Remus. Goodnight.”


“Goodnight.”