Memoirs of a Potions Master and his Know-It-All

The Monthly Book Club

Hermione was running around in a tizzy, gathering up her book and notes so that she could leave for her monthly book club meeting. She had been attending the group for about five months now and she loved it. Well, she loved anything to do with books, really, but this was such a novel idea. Book clubs had just hit the wizarding world and were taking it by storm. Exasperated, she stomped her foot and blew her curly hair out of her eyes before looking around the cozy bedroom that she shared with her husband, Severus. 'Where could it be?' she said to herself, almost willing the lost notes to come out of hiding.

"Are these what you are looking for?" Severus asked, walking into their bedroom and carrying a couple of pages of parchment. He was wearing a black t-shirt and black jeans. The rest of Hogwarts would die if they could see how sexy he looked when he wasn't wearing all of his layers of clothing.

"Oh, you are a WONDERFUL husband, you know that, don't you?" Hermione gushed, as she swiftly snatched up her notes, and stuffed them into her overfilled, as usual, bag.

"Hmmm, yes, I do know that," Severus said with a mischievous grin, and bent down to kiss his wife of six months. He pulled her close, kissed her and began gently licking her lips, hoping that she would open her warm, wet mouth to him. He never could get enough of his sweet witch. His hands slid around to caress her bum, and he pulled her tightly against his hips, making sure that she felt just how wonderful a husband he really was.

"Sevvvvverussssss," Hermione moaned, pulling back a little. "I really do have to leave now or I will be late for the book club and I won't get a good seat."

"Hermione, didn't you tell me that everyone sits in a circle during these book discussions?" Severus quirked one of his eyebrows.

"Well yes, but I don't want to sit next to Miffy or Fawn again. They spend the entire time giggling and whispering to each other, and it is rather distracting," Hermione said, frowning, clearly remembering the bubble-headed bimbos.

"Fine, but when you get back home, you will have to make it up to me for leaving me all alone tonight," Severus whispered in the dark, seductive voice that he knew drove his wife wild. He sniffed the air appreciatively and said, "Mmmmm, me thinks someone wants to stay and play." Severus had always had an incredible sense of smell, which came in handy being a Potions Master.

Hermione felt the warm dampness in her knickers and scowled up at her sexy husband. "Now look what you've done; I have to go change knickers."

"Here let me help you," Severus said, as he lifted her dress and slid said knickers over her silky soft hips and down her creamy white thighs so that she could step out of them. He brought them to his nose and groaned. His cock was pulsing in his pants; he could never get enough of his wanton wife.

"Severus, that is just gross. I mean, you don't see women sniffing men's underwear."

"Hermione, I have no interest in sniffing men's underwear."

Hermione just threw her hands up in the air and went to put on some new knickers while Severus pocketed her damp ones. 'Oh my gosh, what would happen if he forgot about them and they fell out during class or a staff meeting? He would probably just smirk, and I would be the one that ended up embarrassed,' Hermione thought.

Hermione grabbed her bag and pecked Severus on the lips before running towards the door of their comfortable quarters. "Bye, sweetheart, I'll be home in about two hours." Her husband just smiled and sniffed her knickers again. 'Uhh, men!' she thought.

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Hermione arrived at the front doors in the entrance hall just as the Quidditch coach, Rolanda Hooch, strolled in after finishing dinner in the Great Hall. "Cutting it a bit close tonight, eh Hermione?" Rolanda had been the one to tell Hermione about the monthly book club that met in Hogsmeade.

"Sorry, Ro, but I couldn't find my notes," Hermione told the older witch.

"Notes? What the heck is wrong with just sitting around drinking butterbeer and talking about if you liked the book or not? It's not a N.E.W.T. Level course, Hermione," she teased.

"You know me, Ro, always anally organized to a fault," Hermione said, laughing at Rolanda. Hermione got along well with all of the staff, except for Sybill Trelawney. Sybill hated Hermione simply because she had married Severus. Everybody knew that Sybill had always wanted Severus for her own. She kept going on about her 'Inner Eye' seeing Severus and her together. Severus used to joke that he saw them together as well, but in his version, he saw himself strangling Sybill.

The two witches set out across the lovely front lawn of Hogwarts. Smoke was curling up from the stone chimney at Hagrid's hut and a cool breeze was blowing it across the grounds. Hermione breathed in deeply, loving the woodsy smoke smell. Hermione had always loved Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It truly was her home, and she couldn't imagine not living here. Leaving the school after she finished her seventh year was one of the hardest things she had ever done, but after three years at university she had come back to teach Muggle Studies. She and Severus had started dating each other within a couple of weeks of her coming back. It had been a whirlwind romance and they both had known immediately that it was special. Severus had proposed a month after they began seeing each other. He reasoned that it wasn't too soon since they had known each other while he was her professor. Hermione couldn't have agreed more. He used to tease her that he already knew that she was a Know-It-All, and he still loved her anyway. Few people realized that Severus had a very wicked sense of humor. She loved Severus with every ounce of her being; the phenomenal sex was an added bonus.

Walking into the quaint village of Hogsmeade, the ladies waved to various passersby that they knew. Hogsmeade had a small community feel to it, unlike the hustle and bustle of Muggle London. Hermione made a mental note to come back next week to look in the new store that was selling familiars. She had been so lonely after Crookshanks had died and she finally felt ready to move on and share her life with another. Thankfully, Severus had agreed with her decision and wasn't allergic to any animals that he knew of.

"Hey, what's this?" Rolanda asked, as she read a note on the door of Flourish and Blotts bookstore. "Oh, Chrysalis Grimalkin's daughter has had her baby!" Rolanda exclaimed with excitement, her yellow eyes lighting up. "Well, the book club has been cancelled this month. Are you up for a drink at the Three Broomsticks, Hermione?"

"No, not tonight, Ro, I'm going to surprise Severus and go home early," Hermione said, as her eyes began twinkling, a bit too much like Albus Dumbledore’s.

Rolanda snorted with laughter and said, "Surprise my ass, get on home with you then, you sex crazed newlywed." Hermione smiled and turned back towards the castle. The staff imagined that Severus and Hermione had a very active sex life since they rarely made it to breakfast and yet they never missed one before they were together. The staff would be correct in their assumption.

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Hermione was trying to decide how she would surprise her husband. Severus loved everything that Hermione did, and he often said that he felt like a sex addict with her. 'Gods, the feeling went both ways!' she thought. She decided that she would Transfigure a stripper's pole and perform a sexy strip tease for him. She had taken a class using a stripper pole the summer before university had ended and felt reasonably confident that she wouldn't embarrass herself by falling on her face or getting pole burn on her legs.

Arriving back at the heavy wooden door to their quarters, she opened it and was met with a sight that shocked her to her core. Never in a million years did Hermione think that she would witness something like this. There he sat, on the floor in front of the couch, at the cocktail table. He had the guiltiest expression on his face and wouldn't even raise his head to look straight at her. His head was lowered over the table, his hair was hanging in curtains around his face and his eyes were straining up to see Hermione. She looked at his hands and saw that he was holding a green blob in his left and a jar of... Play-Doh in his right. What the heck!?

With as much calm and grace as she could manage, she silently glided over to her husband and lowered herself next to him onto the soft sheepskin rug next to the hearth. She simply held out her right hand to him and said, "Blue please."

Severus reluctantly passed her the container of blue Play-Doh.

Hermione was trying so very hard not to laugh at her severe and formal husband. "Severus, it must be very difficult for you to find Play-Doh, since it is a Muggle product," she said.

"I buy it in Muggle London, Hermione," he growled out. He felt his face flush and asked the inevitable question. "Why are you home so early?"

"Yes, I bet you ARE surprised that I am home early, aren't you?" She began working the blue blob into a ball. "Well, the owner of the bookstore had to leave to help out with her new grandbaby. You know, Severus, you can actually make your own molding dough. There are many recipes and it would be especially easy for you since you are a Potions Master."

Severus mumbled something that Hermione couldn't understand. "What's that, Sev?" He mumbled again a bit louder. "I'm sorry, Severus, but I still can't understand you."

The vein on his forehead had begun to throb and his left eye was on the verge of twitching, a sure sign that he was stressed. "I said that I like the smell of the original Play-Doh because it reminds me of Mrs. Turtle."

"Mrs. Turtle?" Hermione repeated. "Who is Mrs. Turtle?"

Severus sighed and replied, "Mrs. Turtle was the woman that used to watch me when I was about three years old, while my mother was at work. She was a squib and lived on Spinner's End, two houses down from us." Severus took a deep breath and continued, "I have fond memories of that time, and the smell of Play-Doh is comforting to me. As you know I didn't have a lot of happy memories with my parents."

"Severus, this is just so cute." Hermione started to giggle a little, unable to hold it back any longer.

"It is NOT cute, Hermione," Severus said with a snarl rivaling a hippogryph.

Hermione just held out her hand again and said, "Yellow please."

Severus handed her the container, but before he let go of it, he said, "Do. Not. Mix. The. Colors, Hermione." When he was a child he always hated when the other children would put back different colors of Play-Doh into the wrong containers.

"Well, how am I supposed to make something made of only one color?" Hermione asked in disbelief. She was no stranger to Play-Doh being a Muggle-born. 'Gods, he's more anal than I am,' she thought.

"You may mix them to play with. However, you must use a separation charm before returning them to their proper containers, understand?"

"Yes, Master of all Play-Doh." Oh, boy she knew that she was going to pay for this later, but she was simply having too much fun to care at this point. Her husband played with Play-Doh! How great was that. Hermione wondered if he liked to color too. She always enjoyed coloring, but felt embarrassed to admit to it once she was grown. 'Hmmm, maybe I'll bring home some crayons and a coloring book and see what he says. A Star Wars coloring book would be perfect since Darth Vader did wear long flowing black robes like her husband,' she thought with amusement.

Suddenly, the room was illuminated in a greenish glow from a Floo call. "Severus, might I have a word, OH... " Albus Dumbledore said. "Severus, my boy, you are... playing! And with Play-Doh, I might add." Albus knew what Play-Doh was and liked playing with it almost as much as he enjoyed eating Muggle candy.

"Play-Doh, I love Play-Doh," came the unmistakable voice that Severus dreaded more than the now dead and rotting Voldemort. Harry Bloody Potter. Harry poked his head through the green flames and wiggled in close next to Albus. "I haven't seen this stuff in years. Hermione, I didn't know that you guys liked Play-Doh."

"Well, Harry," Hermione snickered, "It actually belongs to Severus. Apparently, he likes to play with it when I go to my monthly book club meetings." Severus narrowed his black eyes at his wife. 'Yep, I am definitely going to pay for this later,' she thought.

"Well, we are coming through then, make room around the table," Albus announced to the small group. Severus just groaned and clutched at the cherry wood table until his fingers turned white from the force of it. "We actually were coming to talk to you about a school related matter, but we can have that conversation with you tomorrow, my boy." Harry Potter was now teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. Severus was fine with that as he had only wanted to teach DADA to help the students learn how to protect themselves against Voldemort. And now that Voldemort had been destroyed, he was happy to stay with potions. His true passion was and always would be, Potions.

Harry looked like Christmas had arrived early and wasn't sure what color to start with first. The four adults molded and sculpted for close to an hour. Harry Transfigured a little press that he used to make 'noodles'. Albus thought this very clever and wanted to try it, but Harry slapped his hand away when he reached for it, telling him to Transfigure his own. Hermione made a cat that she thought looked exactly like Crookshanks; nobody else thought so. The tail looked rather phallic too. Harry had made a miniature broomstick with bits of noodley Play-Doh that made up the broom part. He tried holding it above his head while making zooming noises, but he quit after his broom wilted in half. Severus just rolled his eyes at this. Albus had a collection of lemon drops that he had made. Nobody was happy that he had monopolized all the yellow. Severus gently placed his green cauldron down in front of himself with a satisfied nod of his head. Everyone looked on with admiration; it really looked like a real mini cauldron and was completely seamless. Well, real if you discounted the fact that it was a deep Christmas green.

"Well, I suppose that Harry and I should go and let you two have your privacy again," Albus announced as he got up from the floor, his old joints cracking like a bonfire consuming a forest of dry wood.

"Why didn't you say that an hour ago?" Severus spat.

Albus chuckled and twinkled. "We can't let you two have all the fun, my boy. You know what the Muggles say, 'all work and no play makes you a dull boy', or something like that. Hmmm, maybe that's what is wrong with you all these years. Maybe I should have Play-Doh available at the staff meetings," Albus teased. Severus just glared at the headmaster. If looks could kill Albus would be lying on the floor without a heartbeat.

Before anyone knew what was happening, Severus had lunged across the table and grasped one of Harry's wrists and was squeezing it for all he was worth. "Don't. Mix. The. Colors. In. The. Containers, Potter!"

"You don't share very well, do you, Snape?" Harry taunted with an evil glint in his emerald green eyes.

"Come now children, play nice," Albus chided in his Grandfatherly voice.

"Next time, the play date is at mine and Ginny's quarters. And, we'll even supply snacks AND juice boxes," Harry said very pointedly, glancing around at the empty table.

"Juice boxes?" questioned Severus.

"Oh, they are an ingenious Muggle invention," Hermione said. It is a little box made of a recyclable material that holds fruit juice. You put small straws in the top, and it keeps the kids from spilling them and making a mess. They are quite common, especially with children playing with Play-Doh," Hermione teased again. "Don't worry, I'll make you a Sippy-cup of firewhisky instead." Severus didn't know what a Sippy-cup was, but he was sure that it wasn't good since Potter laughed so hard that he was clutching his sides.

"Good night, everyone," Hermione said, as she watched Harry and Dumbledore leave through the flames. She cast a locking charm on the Floo so that they wouldn't be interrupted anymore this evening.

She could feel her husband's eyes boring into her from behind. It was time for payback.

"Come here, Witch, you have a lot to make up for." Somehow Severus blamed her for him getting caught with his Muggle playthings and for having to share with Albus and Harry.

Hermione took a container of red Play-Doh and Transfigured it into a stripper pole. She watched as her husband's eyes lit up. Slowly, she began lifting her dress, teasingly up and over her head. She was wearing a red lace bra and a red thong. Severus unfastened his black trousers and let them fall to the floor.

He was going commando.

And standing at attention.

He was gloriously erect and so beautiful. Gods, she had never seen a more magnificent cock before. It almost looked like something that was sculpted by a master craftsman; long, thick and engorged with so much blood that Hermione wasn't sure how he hadn't fainted from blood loss to his brain. She slipped her hands behind her and unclasped her barely there bra and slowly slid it off of her arms. Bringing her hands up to caress her breasts she started to slowly circle her nipples and lightly pinch them, as she began gyrating her hips seductively. She heard Severus groan from the couch and his eyes were glued to her chest. He was cupping his sac with his left hand while his fingers lightly teased the delicate skin, and his right hand was slowly stroking his cock. Hermione thought that watching a man masturbate himself was one of the hottest things she had ever seen. As good as it felt to touch her own breasts, it was nothing compared to when he touched her. She melted whenever he touched her with his expert hands. Hermione lifted herself up onto the pole, wrapped one long leg around it and playfully spun around, her hair fanned out around her upside down head. She slid her hands down to remove her knickers, the whole time imagining it was her husband's hands stroking and touching her. A sigh escaped her throat as she found her clit and began to rub it in circles. That was all it took before he jumped up from the couch and pulled her luscious body to his. Gods, she was so warm and soft in all the right places. His head descended to her chest, and he began sucking on her right nipple while lightly pinching her left, just like she liked it. The witch tasted good, so sweet. Hermione's warm hands rubbed up and down his back, pulling him towards her and rubbing her hips against his pulsing erection.

Too bad she wouldn't get to use the stripper-pole more tonight.

Slowly, she sank to her knees in front of him.

"Oh yes, Hermione, please," Severus choked out.

"Please what, Sev?" Hermione questioned seductively.

"Hermione, suck me, please. Lick the head of my cock, now... oh... Gods... please." She loved being able to control him like this. Power over the Potions Master was a heady feeling. Slowly, she snaked out her tongue and licked the tip of his penis, never taking her eyes off of him. He drew in a shuddering breath, and his legs began to tremble. He thrust his fingers into her silky hair, trying to pull her tightly to his groin. She still couldn't deep throat him yet, he was simply too long, but she was doing a pretty admirable job of it anyway. She licked, nipped, sucked and stroked him until he finally pulled out of her mouth with a 'pop'.

"Hermione, bed now," Severus panted, as he pulled her into their bedroom. He threw her onto the soft bed and dove between her legs. His witch tasted like honey, and he lapped at her arousal like a man dying of thirst. Severus put his index fingers above her hooded clit and his thumbs on both sides and spread them, thus opening her up to him. Her clit was swollen and that drove him to lick her with fervor. His tongue burrowed in her like a niffler hunting for gold. Hermione was writhing and shaking while Severus held her legs firmly to the bed, not letting her move.

"Oh, yes... please... it's... now... oh... lick me... YES... Sevvvvverrrrruusssss," Hermione moaned, as her orgasm tore through her, leaving her in bliss.

The wizard climbed between her legs and positioned his painfully erect cock at her entrance, which was already so wet from her orgasm. Thrusting in up to his balls Severus growled and began pumping as fast as he could. 'The man was really like a sex demon,' Hermione thought. She felt a second orgasm coiling tight inside of her and thrust her hips to meet his, trying to take her pleasure. Sweat was dripping off of Severus now, and Hermione found it to be such an erotic sight... hips blurring, sweat dripping, cock plunging and his face, oh his face was so sexy. His mouth was parted, and his tongue was just peeking out, the tendons on his neck were strained, and she knew that he would come soon. Just looking at his face and seeing how out of control he was sent her over the edge, and she began falling into a heavenly sea of pleasure as her orgasm radiated throughout her entire body. Severus felt her walls clamp down on his penis, and he couldn't take it anymore as he shot hot, spurting jets of come deep inside his wife. "NNNNNGGGGGHHHH," he groaned into her neck.

Afterwards, they both lay there panting in each other's arms, when Hermione said, "Play-Doh, who would've thought."

"Sleep, Hermione, sleep," he whispered. The last conscious thought he had before falling asleep was that he really should get some more yellow Play-Doh.


Author's Notes:
Next chapter coming will be, The Last Supper (before the students arrive) and will be about the staff getting together for one last party before the new school year begins.