Mismatched
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Remus/Hermione
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
3
Views:
11,401
Reviews:
23
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Remus/Hermione
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
3
Views:
11,401
Reviews:
23
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters therein. Nor do I make any moneys from the writing of this story. Though Lord knows I wish I did.
Mismatched
Hi! I wanted a break from the mysteries and thought I would try something short and sweet. I hope you all like it.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!
***
Chapter One
If this date were anymore boring, Hermione thought as she sipped on her fire whiskey, it would surely kill her. The man across from her was well read, had traveled the world, and had, what he referred to as, a wonderful job with the Ministry of Magic. Yet the ass could only speak about himself and Jared Marks was far from entertaining.
“So do tell,” he said once he was finally finished speaking about himself, so she hoped. “Where were you hiding out during the war?”
Hermione stared at him for a moment before asking him, “Are you putting me on?”
“No! I was out of the country,” he told her. “My mum insisted on it as I was her favorite son.”
“Right,” she said dryly, downing the rest of her drink. Grabbing her purse she stood up. “This isn’t working for me. You sit tight and enjoy the company of your favorite person and I’ll be off.”
“What? Whom are you speaking of?” he demanded.
“You,” she told him. “I’m speaking of you. And how you don’t know a world outside of yourself, you egotistical, self delusional, little piss ant.”
“Insults weren’t necessary,” he snarled. “And while we’re at it, you owe me…”
She whipped out her wand and pressed it to his jugular hissing, “Really? And what pray tell do I owe you? Keeping in mind, of course, that unlike you, I actually fought in the war.” She leaned closer and snarled, “On the front lines.”
Jared let out a squeak and little else by way of response. Letting out a disgusted growl, Hermione left the restaurant with the high hopes that Sirius didn’t drink off what was left of the bottle of fire whiskey that she saw out earlier that day.
Hermione had no sooner walked into Grimmwauld Place than Ginny was down the stairs demanding to know why she was home so early.
“He was a selfish twat whose best subject was himself,” she told her friend. “Now if you will please excuse me, I plan on getting drunk.”
When she couldn’t find the fire whiskey, she resigned herself to the fact that she would have to ask Sirius for it directly. Hermione knocked on his bedroom door and waited. It was a half dressed, mussy Sirius that answered the door.
“Someone has absconded with the booze,” she told him. “Have any more in here?”
“What happened, love? Did your blind date turn out to be a total ass again?”
Sighing she muttered, “To put it mildly.” Leaning closer to him, she asked, “So do you have more in here or do I have to go to the shops?”
“What’s taking you so long, stud? Oh, hi Hermione,” Lavender all but purred as she glued herself to Sirius’s back.
“What is it with you taking all my sloppy seconds, Lav?” Hermione asked her, making the blond go beet red in the face even as Sirius was trying to stifle his mirth. “I’ll never understand you.” She looked over to the big man. “Well?”
“Sorry, pet, all out,” he told her. “Why don’t you go to the shops with Harry and Gin? I don’t think you are sober enough to do so alone.”
Hermione snorted. “I’m doing everything else alone these days, why not one more thing?” She went up to her tip toes, nipping at his chin. “Just remember to wear a protection spell as she’s something of a tart.”
Chuckling he murmured, “Always, love.”
Lavender let out an insulted gasp, breaking away from the older wizard. Hermione looked over to her shaking her head, “If you want Ron back, trying to make him jealous with other men isn’t going to work. That would take him noticing something beyond quidditch and his mother’s cooking.”
“Truer words haven’t been spoken,” Sirius muttered as he turned to look at the angry witch. “ ‘In vino veritas’.” This only had the girl frowning at him in confusion, as he shoved her out the door. “In wine there is truth. Goodbye, Miss Brown. Go find Ronald. I doubt any other man can put up with more than five minutes of you calling him a nickname you have the false notion is cute.”
***
Hermione ended up at a pub with little to no idea if it were muggle or not. It wasn’t until five minutes later when a glass and a bottle of fire whiskey was placed in front of her that she knew with any certainty that she was in the Three Broomsticks. Looking up she saw Sirius smiling down at Hermione as he went over to the seat across from her.
“I would have thought you would be preoccupied with Miss Brown,” she drawled as she watched him pour two drinks.
Handing one over to her, he said, “I sent her on her way. Truth to tell I was quite sick of her calling me ‘stud’ and with what she must think is an adorable baby voice.” Sirius shuddered. “It wasn’t.”
“It never has been,” she muttered. “Cheers.”
“Cheers.”
After tapping glasses they each took a sip with Hermione saying, “Ginny keeps setting me up on blind dates with all these different men—each one worse than the last. The last one was an egocentric blowhard who could have a smashing conversation about himself and little else. Everyone of the men that she’s set me up with has made Percy, Merlin help us all, seem like a sex pot.” Hermione studied her glass for a moment before asking, “Am I really that bad?”
“Bad?” he asked in confusion.
“Am I boring? Am I so dull as to make watching wallpaper paste dry appear to be a fun sport?”
“Heavens no!” he exclaimed, moving so that now he was sitting next to her. “Ginny doesn’t know you is all, love.”
“She’s one of my best friends,” she whispered hollowly.
“No, pet, Harry is your best friend. After all, he’s your brother in all but blood, right?”
Nodding she murmured, “But I would have thought that she would know me better than to set me up on a date with the jackass she did tonight.” She took another sip of her whiskey. “Do you think the kitchen is still open? I never did get fed dinner.”
“Is that so?” he murmured, motioning over to Rosmerta. “And why is that?”
By the time the meal arrived for them, Hermione had finished telling him about the disaster that had been her date of that evening. Sighing she inhaled the fragrant smell of the lamb stew that was the night’s special, looking over to Sirius to find him watching her intently.
“Ginny set you up with a deserter?”
“In short, yes,” she answered. “Pardon the pun, but why so serious, Sirius?”
“You know what you need?” he inquired of her.
“Something that cannot be mentioned in mixed company?”
Smiling he called her a brat and went on with, “You need a match maker.”
“Please for the love of everything I hold dear, please tell me that you said that in jest.”
“You need someone that has perspective and a brain in their head…”
“Are you saying Ginny…?”
“No, but you’re getting off the point.”
“What is your point? And am I drunk enough to hear it as of yet?”
“Eat,” he ordered with a grin. “You need a match maker and I know just the person to do it.”
“Who?” she asked, feeling very ill at ease as she inquired.
“Why, me of course!”
***
AHH!! Talk about the one person that should never play match maker! LOL!
Since this is a very short fanfic (three chapters total), I'm sorry to say that I won't be putting out the Review Sing-A-Long this time. But if you have any ideas on what new groups I should use or what tunes I should listen to, by all means, tell me! I like to think that I have a wide ranging love of music, but even so I can't say I have heard it all. And as usual, feedback would be much loved and appreciated. Thank you and have a fab day.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!
***
Chapter One
If this date were anymore boring, Hermione thought as she sipped on her fire whiskey, it would surely kill her. The man across from her was well read, had traveled the world, and had, what he referred to as, a wonderful job with the Ministry of Magic. Yet the ass could only speak about himself and Jared Marks was far from entertaining.
“So do tell,” he said once he was finally finished speaking about himself, so she hoped. “Where were you hiding out during the war?”
Hermione stared at him for a moment before asking him, “Are you putting me on?”
“No! I was out of the country,” he told her. “My mum insisted on it as I was her favorite son.”
“Right,” she said dryly, downing the rest of her drink. Grabbing her purse she stood up. “This isn’t working for me. You sit tight and enjoy the company of your favorite person and I’ll be off.”
“What? Whom are you speaking of?” he demanded.
“You,” she told him. “I’m speaking of you. And how you don’t know a world outside of yourself, you egotistical, self delusional, little piss ant.”
“Insults weren’t necessary,” he snarled. “And while we’re at it, you owe me…”
She whipped out her wand and pressed it to his jugular hissing, “Really? And what pray tell do I owe you? Keeping in mind, of course, that unlike you, I actually fought in the war.” She leaned closer and snarled, “On the front lines.”
Jared let out a squeak and little else by way of response. Letting out a disgusted growl, Hermione left the restaurant with the high hopes that Sirius didn’t drink off what was left of the bottle of fire whiskey that she saw out earlier that day.
Hermione had no sooner walked into Grimmwauld Place than Ginny was down the stairs demanding to know why she was home so early.
“He was a selfish twat whose best subject was himself,” she told her friend. “Now if you will please excuse me, I plan on getting drunk.”
When she couldn’t find the fire whiskey, she resigned herself to the fact that she would have to ask Sirius for it directly. Hermione knocked on his bedroom door and waited. It was a half dressed, mussy Sirius that answered the door.
“Someone has absconded with the booze,” she told him. “Have any more in here?”
“What happened, love? Did your blind date turn out to be a total ass again?”
Sighing she muttered, “To put it mildly.” Leaning closer to him, she asked, “So do you have more in here or do I have to go to the shops?”
“What’s taking you so long, stud? Oh, hi Hermione,” Lavender all but purred as she glued herself to Sirius’s back.
“What is it with you taking all my sloppy seconds, Lav?” Hermione asked her, making the blond go beet red in the face even as Sirius was trying to stifle his mirth. “I’ll never understand you.” She looked over to the big man. “Well?”
“Sorry, pet, all out,” he told her. “Why don’t you go to the shops with Harry and Gin? I don’t think you are sober enough to do so alone.”
Hermione snorted. “I’m doing everything else alone these days, why not one more thing?” She went up to her tip toes, nipping at his chin. “Just remember to wear a protection spell as she’s something of a tart.”
Chuckling he murmured, “Always, love.”
Lavender let out an insulted gasp, breaking away from the older wizard. Hermione looked over to her shaking her head, “If you want Ron back, trying to make him jealous with other men isn’t going to work. That would take him noticing something beyond quidditch and his mother’s cooking.”
“Truer words haven’t been spoken,” Sirius muttered as he turned to look at the angry witch. “ ‘In vino veritas’.” This only had the girl frowning at him in confusion, as he shoved her out the door. “In wine there is truth. Goodbye, Miss Brown. Go find Ronald. I doubt any other man can put up with more than five minutes of you calling him a nickname you have the false notion is cute.”
***
Hermione ended up at a pub with little to no idea if it were muggle or not. It wasn’t until five minutes later when a glass and a bottle of fire whiskey was placed in front of her that she knew with any certainty that she was in the Three Broomsticks. Looking up she saw Sirius smiling down at Hermione as he went over to the seat across from her.
“I would have thought you would be preoccupied with Miss Brown,” she drawled as she watched him pour two drinks.
Handing one over to her, he said, “I sent her on her way. Truth to tell I was quite sick of her calling me ‘stud’ and with what she must think is an adorable baby voice.” Sirius shuddered. “It wasn’t.”
“It never has been,” she muttered. “Cheers.”
“Cheers.”
After tapping glasses they each took a sip with Hermione saying, “Ginny keeps setting me up on blind dates with all these different men—each one worse than the last. The last one was an egocentric blowhard who could have a smashing conversation about himself and little else. Everyone of the men that she’s set me up with has made Percy, Merlin help us all, seem like a sex pot.” Hermione studied her glass for a moment before asking, “Am I really that bad?”
“Bad?” he asked in confusion.
“Am I boring? Am I so dull as to make watching wallpaper paste dry appear to be a fun sport?”
“Heavens no!” he exclaimed, moving so that now he was sitting next to her. “Ginny doesn’t know you is all, love.”
“She’s one of my best friends,” she whispered hollowly.
“No, pet, Harry is your best friend. After all, he’s your brother in all but blood, right?”
Nodding she murmured, “But I would have thought that she would know me better than to set me up on a date with the jackass she did tonight.” She took another sip of her whiskey. “Do you think the kitchen is still open? I never did get fed dinner.”
“Is that so?” he murmured, motioning over to Rosmerta. “And why is that?”
By the time the meal arrived for them, Hermione had finished telling him about the disaster that had been her date of that evening. Sighing she inhaled the fragrant smell of the lamb stew that was the night’s special, looking over to Sirius to find him watching her intently.
“Ginny set you up with a deserter?”
“In short, yes,” she answered. “Pardon the pun, but why so serious, Sirius?”
“You know what you need?” he inquired of her.
“Something that cannot be mentioned in mixed company?”
Smiling he called her a brat and went on with, “You need a match maker.”
“Please for the love of everything I hold dear, please tell me that you said that in jest.”
“You need someone that has perspective and a brain in their head…”
“Are you saying Ginny…?”
“No, but you’re getting off the point.”
“What is your point? And am I drunk enough to hear it as of yet?”
“Eat,” he ordered with a grin. “You need a match maker and I know just the person to do it.”
“Who?” she asked, feeling very ill at ease as she inquired.
“Why, me of course!”
***
AHH!! Talk about the one person that should never play match maker! LOL!
Since this is a very short fanfic (three chapters total), I'm sorry to say that I won't be putting out the Review Sing-A-Long this time. But if you have any ideas on what new groups I should use or what tunes I should listen to, by all means, tell me! I like to think that I have a wide ranging love of music, but even so I can't say I have heard it all. And as usual, feedback would be much loved and appreciated. Thank you and have a fab day.