A Broken Heart

It's not really love, as far as I could tell. Maybe it was love years ago, but not now. Now, we barely get to see each other. He devotes his time working and expanding Malfoy corporation, while I rather spend my time in our house with our memories. Even after the war, he still doesn't appreciate his life, and how short it could be. He rather follow the path that his father has eked out for him, whether he enjoys it or not. I know him better than he thinks I do. I know he enjoys long baths after a hard day's work, to unwind from the world, and a cup of coffee every morning to remind him that it is reality.

I try not to be a burden, and i try to be supportive, but he's pushing me away. Even time that he leaves without telling me, or doesn't pick up my calls, he's pushing me away. Maybe he doesn't realize it, but I do. More like, I feel it. I feel my heart breaking every fight that we have, even though he believes that once it's over, it's over. But it's never over. Maybe we won the battle, but we lost the war.

I love him more than the world itself, but I don't even compare to anything in his life. I'm not smart enough to help him, and I'm not understanding enough to see how much his work means to him. All I want is to spend the rest of my life with him. Is that too much to ask? I try to understand that he's too tired to talk or to make love. He always tells me that all i have on my mind is sex. Sex sex sex. I do admit that I am sexually frustrated. Not because we don't make love, or because we no longer have time to have sex, but because I want to know that he wants me- rather feel that he wants me. I want to feel that he still wants me, even after all these years, that my beauty is more than skin deep.

Can't he see that I've shared my own life with him? From the good memories to the bad, I tell him everything, and so, is it too much of me to ask the same from him? He tells me that I should tell him when I'm mad, upset, or want to talk, but he could never do the same for me. He couldn't let his wall down so I can come in. I don't know what else to do. Is this love even worth it?

But it is, just the thought of him reminds me of how much I love him. How much I adore him and how much he means to me. Yes, he isn't perfect, but neither am I. Maybe he's too strong to tell me how he feels, and he'd rather sock the wall before hurting me. Yes, I know. And he would never want to hurt me, but that doesn't stop him. He hurts me more than physically, although sometimes I'd rather that he had hurt me physically. No, he does more damage than that, he just simply break my heart. He hurts me like that. Some mere words, and my world comes crashing down.

No longer am I the same. The Harry that was in existent years back is gone, now, there is simply just a boy, a broken boy, that would do anything not to feel this way again. To feel a broken heart.