Pansy's Lover

Pansy inhaled deeply on her cigarette. It was the only thing she enjoyed tonight. She knew she should quit but over the past few years she began to care less and less about things like her health. It wasn’t that long ago that she would have been elated at the thought of attending a party with her new husband and their friends, but not now.

Pansy had been married for four years now and while she knew things would never be as they were in the beginning, she was disappointed in marriage. She knew that the days of newness would wear off but she always thought she would be a constant in her husband’s life. That’s what she wanted, to be the first focus, but she wasn’t.

Her husband worked for the Ministry of Magic and had been promoted to very high positions over the years for someone so young. He wasn’t even thirty yet and he was serving in the department of the Wizengamut. He hoped in a few years to be an undersecretary and was working hard to achieve the goal.

As a result Pansy Parkinson Parish was often neglected and alone. Her husband worked long hours, sometimes coming home well after midnight. At first she though he was cheating on her but quickly found out that wasn’t the case. Several co workers, and even one of his superiors had come to her asking to intervene and tell Jason that he was working too hard, and should not be staying at his office so much. The head of his department had told her that he had transfigured his armchair into a recliner so he could rest in between meetings. He also asked to her speak with Jason.

As usual he wouldn’t listen. He thought she was making it up and searching for reasons to get him home. It always ended the same way. He wanted to be the best he could and why couldn’t she support him? Well, she had no problem supporting him, but what about her? Did she need to be pushed aside because he had an ambition? Her life was now regulated to making appearances in her husband’s arm. He no longer cared about his wife. He cared only for his career.

She inhaled again, looking toward the ballroom. She had stepped outside to smoke partly because she was getting tired of the small talk with her husbands colleagues and partly because she was tired of looking for him all night. Every time she found him, he managed to spot someone else within moments and would leave for a chat.

She used to think her husband loved her, but now she was having serious doubts. He had missed her birthday, and to make amends, asked her to pick out anything she wanted at the jewelry store and he would buy it for her. It was the same thing he had done when he missed their anniversary as well. Pansy didn’t want make up gifts picked out and paid for by his assistant. Her husband didn’t even know what was bought in his name.

Pansy wasn’t the jewelry kind of woman anyway. He assumed that since she had a jewelry box that she had collected the gems. The box in fact contained the Parkinson family heirlooms. Well, if he had taken the time to remember anything about her, he would know that she loved reading and nature more then anything.

At the tail end of her Hogwarts years and just afterwards, when she became friends with Hermione Granger, the girls traded books constantly. Pansy was able to read some of the greatest authors in muggle literature and Hermione was loaned the oldest books the wizarding world had to offer. Pansy often sat out on the grounds under huge trees immersed in newfound books.

If he had really wanted to make it up to her, he would have taken her to a book store or a signing. But no, he had forgotten so much about her and their marriage. Pansy gave out a weak smile as she thought about a muggle book Hermione had loaned her, about a man whose work was everything to him. His fiancée had gotten tired of waiting, being put off and forgotten about that eventually she called off their engagement. The man didn’t regret it until many years later and even then it had to be pointed out to him.

She wondered if Jason still cared about her. Being provided for and being cared about where two different things and she was living the difference. She hated it. She hated being left alone forgotten about for work. She was simply someone he lived with now. They had sex on rare occasions and even then it was rushed and she felt nothing. She inhaled again. “Take it easy, the smoke isn’t going anywhere.”

She looked up and smiled. “Ron Weasley.” She stood and gave him a hug. “It’s been some time.”

“Yes it has.” He sat down on the bench beside her. “How have you been doing Pansy?” He asked.

“Well enough.” She answered, as she watched Ron light his own cigarette.

“That sounds depressing.” He said inhaling.

“It is.” She said, her expression going sad.

“No more wedded bliss?” He ventured.

“No.” She looked at him face to face. “I wonder now why I ever married.”

“Don’t you love him?” Ron asked, in a teasing manner. When he saw her face fall slightly, he moved closer. “Pansy?”

“If you had asked me that a few years ago, I would have whole heartedly said yes. Now I’m not so sure what to answer.”

“It seems simple enough an answer.” Ron said. “Do you or don’t you?”

She looked aside and then back. “I suppose its hard to love someone when you don’t feel loved yourself.”

Ron’s heart went out to her. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She gave him a smile then discarded her cigarette. “I’m just lonely. I’ll deal with it.”

“You shouldn’t have to.” He said. “If you need to talk to someone, or just don’t want to pass the hours alone, owl me.”

“Thank you Ron.” She kissed his cheek and left back into the ballroom. Ron watched her leave with sad eyes. Pansy was a lovely woman, a asset to any man. Her husband didn’t see it.

He knew Jason Parish and how ambitious he was. While he could never fault a man for wanting to obtain his goals, there was something to be said for not allowing family and loved ones to slip away in the process. Jason was fast losing Pansy and he either didn’t know or didn’t care.

Ron had admired the woman she became. Dignified, graceful, beautiful, there was no end to her attributes. Ron wished he had been the type of man to win her, but his insecurities had taken him time to overcome. Now he was a man of his own means, a magical animal healer, and he was proud of himself.

He was by no means a wealthy man, but he was very comfortable. He had his own small home, having invested much of his income into the animal infirmary that his house was attached to. He was content. As content as he could be at least.

Ron discarded his cigarette and made his way to the closets to fetch his cloak. A few moments later he had apparated home.