Everything I Ever Wanted

Chapter One

‘God, that is a nice ass,’ thought Remus as he watched the bare footed, dark haired woman bending over the large desk, reaching for something on the other side. He stared for a moment, imagining how her bare ass would look bending over that desk before giving himself a mental shake.
‘Idiot,’ he thought, stepping forward into the room. ‘She must be his wife.’

‘Shit.’ He heard the mumbled curse as her knee hit the leg of the desk with a soft thump. Stifling a laugh, he cleared his throat gently, but loud enough for her to hear, making her shoot into an upright position, spinning around to face him.

His first wildly inappropriate thought was that the front view was even more fantastic than the back.
Then he pulled himself together, saying, ‘Hi. I’m Remus Lupin. I’m the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. I was looking for William Johnson.’

‘As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough to be caught with my ass up in the air, he had to be cute as well,’ Billie thought as she looked at the man who had interrupted her search for the introductory letter from Professor McGonagall, the former Headmistress.

‘Why the hell is he looking for my father here?’ was her first thought when he asked for William Johnson, before her brain caught on. William/Billie - not the first time that mistake had been made. Someone on the Board had stuffed up. She opened her mouth to correct him, but he beat her to it.

‘I wanted to give him this proposal for extra funding for the Defence department’, he said, holding out a sheaf of parchment. ‘I know I’m not giving him much of a chance to settle in, but I really need the extra money as soon as possible. Do you know if he’ll be back soon?’

Billie looked at him, a mischievous idea entering her head as she realised he thought she was the new Headmaster‘s wife.
‘I don’t know where William is right now,’ she said, choosing her phrasing carefully. It wasn’t a lie - she didn’t have a clue where her father was. She preferred it that way.
‘I’m Bi….Belinda Johnson,’ she said, using her correct given name to introduce herself as she smiled and held out her hand. He took it and Billie felt a tingle shoot up her arm. ‘Whoa!’ she thought, as his warm hand closed around hers. ‘Where did that come from?’

Remus felt a little jolt of heat shoot through him when she smiled.
‘That is really bad,’ he thought to himself, as he shook her soft hand, feeling his skin warm as she touched it. He let go as soon as was polite.
‘This is the new Headmaster’s wife,’ he admonished himself. ‘Get a grip, man.’

‘It’s nice to meet you, Mrs Johnson,’ Remus said, surreptitiously flexing his hand to try and get rid of the tingling feeling in it.
‘I could take that for you,’ she said, holding out her hand for the parchment. He looked unsure, and she smiled.
‘I’m sure the new Head wouldn’t mind me having a look,’ she said. ‘My opinion is valued.’
Remus smiled, and Billie felt her knees tremble.
’You’ve got to be kidding me,’ she thought, feeling a little frustrated with herself now. ’Weak knees? Isn’t that a little clichéd, Belle?’

Remus held out the parchment and she took it, moving back to slide up onto the desk behind her.
‘Are you staying at the castle, or are you living in Hogsmeade?’ he asked politely, as she began to flick through the sheaf of papers. She looked up.
‘In the castle,’ she said with a little smile, then indicated the chairs. ‘Sit, Professor Lupin, please.’
He sat and watched her reading the list of requirements he’d prepared.

‘The new headmaster is a very lucky man,’ he thought, letting his eyes wander over her. ‘She’s a beautiful woman.‘
He wondered how old she was. She didn’t look very old - early thirties maybe; but he knew looks weren’t an accurate indication of age. He was in his late thirties, but looked older. She was shorter than him, but still pretty tall, the top of her head at his eye level in bare feet. Long, wavy dark brown, almost black hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her eyes were dark blue. She wasn’t skinny; she was slim, but she had curves.
‘Pretty amazing curves,’ he thought, recalling that denim covered butt waving in the air, even as his eyes drifted to her chest, appreciating the way she filled out that t-shirt.

She flipped over the parchment to the next page, biting her lip slightly as her blue eyes flicked over the writing. Remus felt a stirring in his groin as her teeth scraped over her lip. He closed his eyes for a moment: he hadn’t had a physical reaction like this to a woman since he was a teenager.

‘This is very well written,’ she said, looking over at him. ‘Very concise. I’m sure the new Head will consider it carefully.’
Billie slid off the desk. She’d felt his eyes on her as she read, making it almost impossible for her to take in a word. Her skin felt hot and suddenly the room seemed very small.

Remus stood. ‘Thank you. I am hopeful he can help me,’ he said. ‘The board has proven…..reluctant to listen to my ideas in the past.’
He frowned slightly, knowing that this reluctance had nothing to do with the ideas, more with the fact the Board didn’t like lycanthropes like him, and would’ve sacked him in a second if Headmistress McGonagall hadn’t supported him so completely.

‘Well, it’s a good proposal. And I believe that the new Head will have more power to personally approve budget extensions from now on,’ she said, knowing full well she’d insisted on that, as well as other changes, when she’d agreed to take the job.

He held out his hand and she took it, gazing directly into his eyes as she did.
‘Hmm, this spark isn’t one sided,’ she thought as she saw his pupils enlarge as he looked at her. She wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.
’Thank you for your input, Mrs Johnson,’ he said, holding her hand firmly. ’I hope I’ll see you around the castle occasionally.’

A shiver ran down her back, and she broke the handshake. ‘It was nice meeting you, Professor Lupin. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.’ She smiled at him, and he felt himself flush. He turned and walked out of the room quickly.

‘Lusting after the Headmaster’s wife is not a good way to ensure continuing employment,’ he told himself as he walked briskly back to his classroom to ensure he was ready for classes the next day. ‘And I really do need that funding.’

He sat behind his desk and sighed. He was tired, and his muscles ached. The full moon had been a few days ago, and he still wasn’t completely well. During the final battle between the Dark and Light just over a year ago, he’d been almost fatally wounded, and as a result, it now took him longer to regain his strength after each transformation.

Professor McGonagall had offered him the DADA teaching position again after the war; then had to convince the school board that he was no danger to anyone except himself. He appreciated the woman’s trust in him, but she had retired at the end of last term, and now he had an unknown person to try and win over. Werewolves were generally feared and mistrusted. He only hoped William Johnson was very open minded.

After Remus left, Billie sank into one of the chairs in front of her desk, with his staff profile in her hand.
‘This is an added complication,’ she thought, reading through his teaching history. ‘He’s the lycanthrope.’
She frowned, closing the file and leaning back in the chair, staring at the ceiling.
‘That explains the scars,’ she thought. ‘And my attraction to him. You would have thought I’d learnt my lesson about dangerous men.’

When she’d agreed to take over the Headmistress position, she’d insisted on autonomy - not wanting to have to run back to the Board to approve every decision. They had accepted, but insisted on her reviewing each staff member. In the past, many had been kept on out of habit, not because they were effective teachers. The board had been particularly interested in being able to get rid of the werewolf that Professor McGonagall had insisted they keep on staff.

Billie had been unhappy about the idea of spying on a teacher, particularly when she didn’t agree that his….problem was an issue. But she’d agreed to watch him, and give the board her recommendation.
’If you can find one thing that puts those kids at risk, you can get rid of him,’ the Head of the School Board had told her. ‘Make something up if you have to. Those new laws about unfair dismissal are ridiculous, but binding.’
‘If I find something that endangers the children, or any of the staff, of course I’ll deal with it,’ she replied, a little angrily. ‘But I’m not sacking a man just because you don’t like what he is. If he’s a good teacher, and no danger to anyone, he’ll stay. If you don’t like my decision, you can replace me next year.’

Billie didn’t have a problem with lycanthropes. She considered the prejudice against them ridiculous - particularly now the Wolfsbane potion allowed them to keep their human mind, even as their body took on wolf form. Remus took the potion religiously, according to the notes in the file.
‘And why wouldn’t he?’ she thought. ‘Transforming must be agony.’

She sighed, and stood up. Glancing at the paper strewn desk, she frowned again.
‘To hell with it,’ she said aloud, turning and slipping her shoes on. ‘I’m the boss - I’ll do it later.’
She spent an hour wandering around the castle, getting lost several times. Even though she’d been born in this country, she had not attended Hogwarts as a child: having spent her schooling years in Australia, her father’s home country. Her mouth twitched as she thought of her father again. Feeling anger rising in her, she pushed him out of her mind.
‘He isn’t worth the time it takes to think of him,’ she told herself.

Turning a corner, she ran into Remus Lupin again. Literally. He reached out to grab her arm as she stumbled backwards, stopping her from falling on her backside. She gripped his arm to keep her balance.
‘Are you alright?’ he asked, steadying her.
‘Yeah, sorry,’ she said, dropping her hand off him. Her stomach had clenched a little feeling the muscle under her hand. ‘I wasn’t looking where I was going.’ She smiled ruefully as his hand fell from her arm.
‘I’m hopelessly lost, I’m afraid,’ she admitted. ‘I wanted to go for a walk in the grounds, but I have no clue how to get outside.’

Remus chuckled. ‘Yeah, it takes a bit of getting used to,’ he agreed, picking up the book he’d dropped when they ran into each other. ‘I went to school here and I know the place pretty well. I’ll show you out, if you like. I was heading that way anyway.’ He held up the book.
‘The weather isn’t always so nice here, and tonight this place will be over run with teenagers, so I thought I’d get some quiet reading done while I can.’

They walked for several minutes, Remus pointing out which classroom was which on the way. ‘So, do you have children at the school?’ he asked, glancing over at her. He was surprised to see the shadow that crossed her face.
‘No,’ she answered, softly. ‘No children.’
‘And you don’t teach?’ he asked, wondering how on earth she was going to fill her days at the castle. She shook her head.
‘No, I don’t teach,’ she said.
‘Not anymore anyway,‘ she thought.
She looked up at him, knowing what he was thinking. ‘I’m sure I’ll find something to do with my time.’

They emerged out of the gloom of the castle into bright sunshine which blinded them both for a second.
‘Well, thanks,’ she said, looking around with a grin. ‘Can I call you every day for directions?’
He laughed. ‘Just not before seven o’clock,’ he said with a smile. Billie smiled and backed away.
‘I’ll leave you to your peace and quiet, Professor,’ she said, turning as she heard him say, ‘Remus. Call me Remus.’ She turned back and smiled.
‘And I’m Billie,’ she said, then waved as she walked down the stairs and onto the grass.

Remus frowned as she walked away, trying unsuccessfully not to let his eyes fall to her rear.
‘Bad. This is bad, Remus,’ he muttered to himself, as he walked towards the Great Lake, where, instead of reading, he spent the afternoon wondering why, out of all the women in the world, he had to be attracted to his new boss’ wife.

The children had arrived just after dark; the quiet of the castle broken by their excited chatter. Remus was walking down to dinner, talking with the Potions master, Alex Shaw.
‘Holy crap,’ Alex said, staring at something ahead of them. ‘Who is that?’

Remus looked up and saw Billie Johnson, now dressed in robes, standing in the Entrance Hall, talking to some of the students. Her dark hair, which had been pulled up in a ponytail earlier, was now loose, hanging down just past her shoulders. She was smiling at whatever the students were saying, her eyes sparkling with laughter. Before Remus could answer Alex, she saw them and smiled, coming over to them.

‘Hello, again,’ she said to Remus with a warm smile, that made him feel hot all over. She turned to Alex and held out her hand.
‘Hi, I’m Belinda Johnson, the new Headmistress.’ She couldn’t help a glance at Remus, who looked as though she’d just smacked him across the face. Turning back to Alex, who’d introduced himself, she asked a few quick questions about his time at Hogwarts so far, then gently suggested he join the other teachers, leaving her and Remus alone.

‘I’m sorry, Remus,’ she said looking a little ashamed of her deception. ‘I should have been honest with you.’
‘You’re the new Head?’ he said disbelievingly, staring at her with a frown. She nodded. ‘Who’s William Johnson then?’ he asked, puzzled.
‘My father. Someone stuffed up on the Board. I was introduced as Billie - I guess someone in administration assumed that was short for William not Belinda. I’m sorry,’ she repeated. ‘I wasn’t trying to trick you. I just wanted to see how you’d react to me if you thought I was just a person, not your new employer.’

‘So, you’re not married?’ he asked, then nearly kicked himself for voicing the thought that had run through his mind. Billie smiled, and even Remus could see the flirtation in it. ‘Nope. Free as a bird,’ she said, her eyes fixed on his.
Remus felt heat burn through him, pooling in his groin.
He felt a smile lifting his lips, as she spoke. ‘And there’s no Mrs Lupin waiting faithfully at home with lots of little Lupin’s running underfoot?’ she asked, not bothering to disguise her attraction to him anymore.
‘No. No one,’ he responded, with growing heat in his eyes. Now he knew she was interested, he didn’t see the point in pretending he wasn’t.

‘Professor Johnson!’ Billie spun around and saw the Transfiguration teacher standing in the doorway. ‘The first years are here.’
Billie nodded, and turned back to Remus. ‘Hungry?’ she asked, with a little smile. He let out a small laugh, and they walked into the Dining Hall.

He noticed the large ornate Head chair was missing, and that Billie took an ordinary chair next to Alex, who looked thrilled. There was only one chair left, and that was on the other side of Billie. Remus sat down, his arm brushing hers as he did. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. He’d never been this attracted to someone before; just the smallest touch was making him hard.

Sitting so close to him, she could smell his cologne, and it was making her squirm in her seat, feeling an ache where she hadn’t for years.
‘This is ridiculous,’ she admonished herself, feeling his arm brushing hers. ‘I am an adult. I can control my reactions to him. I will not give in to this - despite the fact I have never been this turned on before in my life.’
Her eyes closed for a moment, trying to reign her hormones in. She didn’t want to start up some kind of relationship with one of her teachers - particularly not one the board were so insistent she find a reason to get rid of, and her personal decisions about men were notoriously bad. If she was this attracted to him, he must be as dangerous as hell.

The first years entered through the doors just then, and she gratefully gave them her attention, thanking God for the distraction. She was about to see the sorting, and this was something which interested her. There had been no houses, no sorting at her school, and she watched with growing unease.

As Billie watched the sorting, her frown deepened. Remus noticed and leant over a little. ‘Is there something wrong?’ he asked, seeing her jump a little hearing his voice so close to her ear. She turned to him, and he saw the concern in her eyes.
‘On their first day here, we label them,’ she said, her voice low. ‘Does that seem right to you?’
He looked at her and blinked. He’d never thought of it that way.

‘Your house is like your family while you’re here,’ he tried to explain. ‘It gives them a sense of belonging, peer support, mentors.’
She continued to watch the sorting as he spoke, but was leaning towards him, listening. As one little girl burst into tears after being placed in Hufflepuff, she turned back to him.

‘Try telling that to her,’ she said, looking more disturbed now. ‘Shouldn’t they get to decide who they want to spend time with? At least for their first year. We’re forcing preconceived roles and identities upon them.’
She shook her head and turned back to watch the last child sorted into Ravenclaw. ‘It’s not right.’

Remus frowned now. He had never looked at Sorting like that before, and he could see her point. He’d known some weak Gryffindor students, and some incredibly brave Slytherins.
He leaned back towards her, a thought striking him. ‘Are you going to stop the sorting?’ he asked. She turned back to him and sighed.
‘No. Unfortunately some traditions must be kept.’ She smiled at him, and turned back to the students, who were now all seated. She stood and cleared her throat.

‘I’ll keep this brief,’ she said, her voice carrying throughout the hall as the children’s chatter faded.
‘My name is Belinda Johnson. I am the new Headmistress, taking over from Professor McGonagall, who is currently sunning herself in Spain.’
There was a laugh from some of the students, grimaces of disgust from others. Minerva McGonagall was a sprightly, but elderly woman, and the image of her in a bathing suit obviously offended some of the students.
Billie smiled. ‘There are no changes in our rules - the Whomping Willow will still try to kill you if you should go near it; the Forbidden Forest is still forbidden, as are a large number of novelty items all designed to create as much havoc as possible: a full inventory of which can be found on Mr Filtch’s door.’
More giggles from the older students. ‘You must be all starving. Eat up!’

She sat and food magically appeared on all the tables. Remus hadn’t realised how hungry he was and filled his plate, looking down at the students as he ate. Some of the older students seemed particularly fascinated with the staff table, staring and whispering in each other’s ears. Remus couldn’t help smiling to himself. All the interested students were male, and he didn’t need to be skilled in Occlumency to know what they were talking about. Billie was very different to Minerva.

He’d been trying not to look over at her; it was hard enough concentrating when he could feel the heat from her arm so near his, but he glanced over now to see if she’d noticed the attention she was attracting. She was pushing her food around her plate, seemingly deep in thought. Remus leaned towards her.

‘Still thinking about the Sorting?’ he asked. She looked up at him and smiled.
‘No,’ she said, her face turning a little pink. ‘Just daydreaming.’ She looked away quickly.
‘There is no way I’m telling him what I was thinking about,’ she thought to herself, recalling the very vivid images she’d been having about him throwing her onto the table in front of them and having his way with her. She felt herself becoming even more aroused and shook her head.
‘What has gotten into me?’ she thought, with a frown.

Billie closed her eyes and thought about the problem she faced. She had to decide whether to recommend Lupin be sacked: lusting after him was confusing her. But she didn’t like the idea of skulking around, spying on him. She wanted to be honest about what was going on, making him aware his time here may be limited. Turning her head, she looked at him, feeling a tingle run through her lower body.
‘Maybe him leaving isn’t such a bad idea,’ she thought, with a frown.

Feeling Billie’s gaze on him during dessert, he turned to look at her.
‘Something wrong?’ he asked, thinking how nice her lips were, and how very much he’d like to feel them on his.
‘Will you come and see me in my office after dinner? I’d like to discuss something with you’ she asked him, a slight frown on her face. He felt a little worried seeing the expression on her face. This was obviously business.
‘Certainly, Headmistress,’ he said, looking back at his food. He heard a soft snort of laughter.
‘For God’s sake, don’t call me that,’ she hissed near his ear. ‘Makes me sound like an old woman….or a dominatrix.’

Remus choked on his dessert, coughing hard then taking a long drink of his mead. He looked over at her, trying to hide his grin. She was also attempting to bite back her smile, her bottom lip clamped between her teeth. When she glanced back up at him, he could see laughter in her eyes.
‘Ok?’ she asked innocently. He nodded, and took another drink to try and regain a little control.
‘Things are going to be very different with you here, aren’t they?’ he said softly to her. Billie smiled.
‘I hope so,’ she said, before turning to talk to Alex.