Enough

Enough
(I’m so bad at thinking up titles)

Summary: When Harry finds himself betrayed once more he leaves the wizarding world, but his past just won’t disappear and he can still find trouble wherever he is. HPSS

Warnings: Minor Sexual Content(so far), Violence/torture(later), Language(can’t help it), Slash(always), No HBP/DH (though Dumbledore’s dead), OOC, AU, After War (a.k.a. Voldie’s dead)

-and sorry but I don’t have a beta, it takes me forever to get another chapter out as it is.


/-~-*^*-~-/

~Ministry of Magic, Courtroom 3 ~

“Mister Potter, do you understand the full implications of what you’re doing.”

“Minister Scrimgeour, I know…”

“Severus Snape is a Death Eater, he killed and tortured an unknown number of victims. He should be thankful that we aren’t locking him into the deepest pits of Azkaban.”

“I know what he has done, but I also know what he has suffered through, a matter that this committee seems to have forgotten. You look at what he was forced to do in order to keep his cover to spy on Voldemort but you ignore what his sacrifice brought us. The number of lives that were saved with the information that he was able to obtain are immeasurable and further reaching then this court realizes. Without his services in this past war not only would this ministry have fallen but I would have died ten times over and this war would have been lost all together. All I’m asking of our government is to grant Severus Snape the titles, properties and other assets that were unjustly taken from him. Don’t start this new healing era by allowing past unjust rulings to continue to punish a man who should have been honored as a hero.”

Harry Potter discretely wiped his sweaty palms against his new dress robes. He gave a spare thought to hoping that didn’t ruin them somehow. They looked ridiculously expensive and gaudy making him almost afraid to move. He never should have trusted Tonks to buy him dress robes. Of course she had insisted that to be taken seriously he needed them, but when the only other option of going with her was far too frightening he had agreed to whatever she got. Now he just hoped he could return them.

This farce of a trail had been going on for three months now and after the first two days it seemed like he just continuously repeated himself. If he wasn’t so needed at St. Mungos he would have been fired a long time ago for his messed up hours, but he hadn’t wanted Severus to know what he was doing. The man would never have admitted to wanting his name cleared, never would have been able to ask or more over go through this whole thing without killing one of these idiot.

“You will speak for the character of one Severus Snape?”

“I will.”

The members of the Wizengamot just stared at him and Harry calmly looked back.

‘Please. I faced down Voldie and the rest of his wacks.’ Harry sniped in his head and refused to flinch or show any discomfort.

“Very well. It is decided by the members of the Wizengamot and I as Minister of Magic that one Severus Tobias Snape will have all assets including his family title returned to him along with a minor compensation from the ministry for this… error.” Minister Scrimgeour swallowed thickly on the clearly distasteful words. His nose scrunched up as if smelling something foul. “Now you Mr. Potter can contact your little newspaper friends and inform them that the new ministry is honoring the war heroes.

“Newspaper friends? I’m not sure I know what you mean, but I’ll see what I can do.” Harry said, trying to keep his voice calm but really just wanting to shout for joy and jump around. He hadn’t even felt this ecstatic when he offed Voldie. “I do want to extend my sincerest gratitude’s to this court and the ministry for taking the time to fix this error.”

He gave a quick bow to the Wizengamot and Minister who were still staring down at him before gathering all his papers and files strewn across the table and heading out the door.

“Harry!” A voice called before a weight jumped at his back, latching on as the person bounced around.

“Hey Tonks. Thanks again for the robes, I think they really did it.”

“Oh, shut up you brat. You were oozing discomfort at wearing them.”

“You got to watch?”

“Yep, I loved the dramatics. ‘immeasurable and far reaching’ the ‘ministry and the world being sucked into the darkest depths of hell for all eternity’ it was great!” Tonks said in a low mocking voice, feeling the need to use hand gestures to dramatize it further.

“Actually, that was the line I was going to use next, how did you know?” Harry asked with a straight face causing Tonks to laugh and hugged tighter to his arm.

They played this game sometimes to get rid of reporters or crazy fans. If they pretended to be so caught up in each other then strangers couldn’t feel snubbed and papers wouldn’t turn vindictive or fans psychotic.

“So you going to run to Hogwarts and tell Severus the good news. You could interrupt his class and jump him in front of all his students, that should get the gossip going.”

Harry gave a small chuckle but he had to admit that the thought was intriguing. “As good as that sounds, I got to check into the hospital and work a few hours and finish up a few things. Then I’m running to Moodys, he’s been holding onto the tickets for me.”

“Moody?!”

“Yeah, Sev is too good at figuring surprises out; I had to leave the info with the last person he would suspect. Or at least someone who’s so paranoid he wouldn’t want to visit them on the off chance that they had the information.”

“Ah, the downside of being involved with an ex-spy.”

“Don’t worry, the perks more than make up for it.”

Tonks gave him a mischievous grin at his words which he gladly returned. After the war when so many had been lost, it was the loss of Remus that tore at Harry the most. But Tonks had been there suffering for the same pain and they had banded together, forming as close to a sibling bond that Harry had ever had.

Harry stopped next to the apparition point, still ignoring the reporters yelling at them and the about what new was happening in the Great Protector’s life, and pulled Tonks into a tight hug. “I think he’s the one Tonks, I really love him.” He whispered into her ear.

“I know Harry, and it’s about time you let someone in completely. I’m so happy for you.” She whispered, giving one last tight squeeze before she pulled back, “and don’t forget to come to dinner as soon as you get back from the trip, mums been asking after you and complaining that you never visit.”

“I had dinner with you guys four days ago.” Harry groused but inside felt pleased that they truly cared about him.

“Well you know her, plus you have to tell us when the bonding will be.”

Tonks!” Harry shouted, glancing wearily to see if any persistent reporters had heard her words before glaring back at her. She just gave her little brother and evil smirk and stepped back into the apparition zone disappearing with a ‘pop’.

Harry followed her example, heading off to work, his stomach already twisting with nerves of excitement about tonight.

/-~-*^*-~-/

It was nearing 7:00 when Harry had finished his shift, picked up tickets from a paranoid ex-auror and made it to the edge of the Hogwarts wards.

It had surprised him that when Voldemort was defeated and all his Death Eaters put away, Severus had continued to work as a teacher. It was when he learned that the man only stayed because he had no choice that Harry decided to do something. Without his title and assets he couldn’t support himself financially without a job and with his history, despite being claimed as a spy, no one would hire him. It had taken Harry months to get everything going and get the new ministry to listen, made more difficult by the need to keep it secret, but it was worth it. Because Harry was beginning to fear that he truly loved Severus Snape, which scared him more than anything.

Never before had Harry allowed himself to love someone in that way, or give too much of his heart in any way. The Dursleys had taught him at a young age that adults couldn’t be relied upon let alone trusted. The manipulations from Dumbledore that ruled his life only emphasized that decision. Hermione and Ron he could never connect completely with, he felt so much older than them when they tried to deal with serious topics. Hermione with her unfailing belief in adults and Ron with his jealousy and quick temper that loosened his tongue. Sirius had been a possibility that he had put some hope in but he had felt that Sirius would rather act like a carefree child and forget the troubles of Azkaban than be an adult. With Sirius death that possibility had been lost but Remus had helped him through it. Remus who was the first adult he trusted, and the one he grew to think of as something of a father, someone who was strong enough to protect him and smart enough to think for himself and provide what Harry needed. With Remus had come Tonks who he came to think of as something of a sister or aunt. When Remus died the two had become closer but didn’t have the strength to support the other, only share and sink deeper into their misery. In the end it was Snape who pulled him out of his darkness. Training with Snape had been a time when he could forget everything that was going on around him and release his anger in punishing his body. And at some point between the yells and blood the had come to and understanding and somewhere there bond changed into companions. Despite the hell Harry knew Snape was experiencing from his visions Snape never stumbled in supporting him he was always there and Harry then just a few days before the final battle Harry realized what he felt for Severus. He finally noticed how much of his heart and trust he was putting into this one man and it scared him breathless. He had actually started to avoid Severus which was hard since he was supposed to be training with him for at least four hours a day, but in his usual blunt way Snape called him out and after a fight like they hadn’t had in months Harry blurted out the truth. His feelings and fears escaped him like water from cupped hands leaving him with stunned silence. Fortunately it didn’t last long enough for him to run, and the hands that had been gripping his shoulder shifted into a different kind of hold and suddenly bodies were pressed to bodies and lips to lips.

The two men went no farther than kissing and a lot of petting that night but they had both admitted their attraction and their agreement that as either could die any day, any rules about propriety would be happily ignored.

When the last battle had come during graduation there hadn’t even been any question of what would happen next between them. Both had made sure the other was more than aware of their dedication and the only change was a lack of care if anyone discovered their relationship. They were war heroes and Harry’s was no longer his student, would anyone really deny Harry something he clearly wanted.

Rita Skeeter tried to make a big fuss over the thing but with celebrations, capturing of straggler death eaters, and the news of Harry Potter beginning his training as an auror, there wasn’t as much hype about it as there would have been.

/-~-*^*-~-/

~Hogwarts~


Harry walked calmly through the halls of Hogwarts, smiling and giving small waves to students he could recognize, but didn’t waist any time to talk with anyone. His body was practically vibrating with excitement and nerves about what Severus’ reaction would be to this surprise. The man wasn’t one for surprises in general, and this was kinda big.

Harry reached inside his open robes to check for the seventh time that he still had the tickets as well as the papers that stated the final rulings and the things granted to Sev.

Taking a steadying breath Harry muttered the password to Severus’ private rooms not bothering to knock. The two had been together for almost four years now and though they still technically had separate places both held no qualms of walking in without permission. They had considered getting one place together but they liked living in Sev’s rooms in Hogwarts during the school year and at Harry’s flat in London during the breaks.

Harry entered and had taken a breath to call out to Sev when a moan caused the breath to turn to blades in his throat. It would have been one thing had it sounded like his lover, but he was more than familiar with that noise As if in answer to his throats a deeper moan seeped into the room and into him to chill his bones.

An eerie calm took over Harry as his mind quickly processed what this meant but his heart seemed to pound in his ear as loud as the moans he could hear. Almost unaware he stepped closer to the open door that lead to the bedroom, their bedroom, Severus’ bedroom? It felt like his mind was thinking about a million things at once but he couldn’t process a single one.

He stepped up to the crack in the door feeling like a voyeur, like he no longer belonged like he was dirty. He tensed at the sight of the sweat shinned bodies, the pale hands of his lover twinning with the tan of some stranger. Was this a stranger? Their cries as they reached there limit startled him, he felt a stab in his chest at hearing someone else call out his lovers name, and he took a step backwards. He had to leave, this couldn’t…

“Sevvie? When are you dumping the Potter Brat, you said you would weeks ago.”

There was a grunt from his lover, was that an agreement or just Sev’s usual avoidance of something?

“I know you’re having fun fucking with his head but I want you to myself…”

Enough. His body was shaking once more but this time it wasn’t excitement, but it also wasn’t quite rage, he didn’t know what he felt, he wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

He stumbled back further, almost running into the desk before he stopped.

A morbid smirk crossed his face as he pulled out the ministry documents and left them on the desk. He paused for a minute wondering if he should just leave the tickets too for Snape and his… well evidently he had just been the fuck to so Harry wasn’t sure what that made the other man.

The tickets crumbled in his hand as he changed his mind and shoved it into his pocket, he couldn’t quite do that, as much of a slap in the face that would be he didn’t want a confrontation now, he didn’t want to think at all about this or have to face it.

He left the room swiftly and quietly, his face blank and still feeling abnormally calm beyond his pounding heart. He managed a few brief nods to those who called to him but didn’t slow his fast pace out of the school. The walk away from school made him wonder if he hadn’t just apparated through the wards for suddenly he was in his apartment and continued walking. If he stopped he was sure he would think and he couldn’t do that. He did focus for a moment to direct the simmering power to cast the most advanced wards that he knew blocking out everything from apparation, floo, or owls.

It was ok, everything was fine, he could get through this. It made sense after all, who could put up with the Boy-Who-Lived crap forever. He expected this, hadn’t everyone always left him, hadn’t everyone always lied? This wasn’t a surprise, he was waiting for it, it’s fine.

Harry took some settling breaths, trying to ground his stirring magic as well as he could. He couldn’t risk loosing his temper, someone like Harry could never loosen control even in the slightest, he always had to remain in control, never relax.

He gave a last long breath out and went to his kitchen to find something quick to eat. He negligently threw the tickets in the trash under the sink and continued with his life as if nothing had changed.

Within half an hour he was sitting at his table staring at the food he’d made but unable to eat it. He got back up, dumped it in the sink and headed to his bedroom.

As he laid down in bed everything was too quiet, it was stifling, it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

And then it hit him.

Harry gave a moan and curled up in a fetal position, wrapping his arms tight around himself. He felt like such shit, he was so fucking worthless. Of course Snape would want someone else, why had he been so stupid.

Harry lay in bed for hours, tears running unchecked down his face as he thought over all that he used to have, everything that he had now lost.

A/N: so that's the first chapter, let me know what you think! Pretty Please?