What A Girl Needs

Title: What A Girl Needs
Author: Monkey Lady
Summary: Hermione is coming into her own finally. She gets an apprenticeship, she's Head Girl, she starts a 'toy' business, and she has several men after her; making seventh year the best and busiest year she's ever had.
Rating: NC-17 definitely
Pairing(s): Hr/DM, Hr/SS, Hr/HP, Hr HP/DM, HP/DM, Hr/RW, Hr/BZ
Feedback: Constructive or glowing (but try to be nice) :)
Characters: Basic characters that are always in these fics.
Betas: None for this one yet.
Author’s notes: I've been reading HP fics for some time now, but not writing them. I've written DBZ and Naruto fics though, the Naruto fics getting a lot of positive attention. I still write Naruto fics, but I really wanted to do a HP fic too. The characters are a bit off and it's little more than a PWP, but it's my first go, so be gentle please. It's not finished, but it fairly close, so bear with me and enjoy.
*Disclaimer: So not my characters, but the plot is basically all me. I'm not making any money off this, pity.

Chapter One

“Come on Weasley, it’s your turn,” Pansy purred from her seat across from the fiery haired young woman. She tossed back another Firewhiskey and grinned teasingly. “Tell us about your first time.”

Ginny blushed and glanced around the table at the other women at the table. It was an odd mix, or it would have been only a few months ago. She, Hermione, Lavender and Luna had been friends for several years, but the addition of the two Slytherins was definitely odd.

Both women had decided to switch sides when Draco and Blaise had thrown in the Dark towel and offered invaluable information to the side of the Light. Draco had decided to change his loyalties when the Dark Lord killed his mother and his father landed himself in Azkaban once again. Blaise had always sat on the fence concerning the war and had simply followed his best friend. Within two months of their change in loyalties the Dark Lord was dead and the remaining students were left to figure out where they all stood with each other.

Now here they all sat, drinking butterbeer and sharing embarrassing stories; first time stories, to be precise. Pansy had just told them how she’d lost her virginity, behind the statue of the hump-backed witch, to Gregory Goyle of all people. If that wasn’t embarrassing, Ginny didn’t know what was.

“Yeah Gin,” Lavender said with a laugh. “Tell us all about the Boy Wonder’s wand waving skills.”

“It wasn’t with Harry,” Ginny sighed, cursing the red haired genes that made her face and chest flush bright pink. “It was Dean actually. Harry and I never…did that kind of stuff.”

“Can’t imagine why you two didn’t work out,” Hermione murmured teasingly.

“Probably because I don’t have a penis, would be my guess,” Ginny said rolling her eyes. Sighing at the suddenly intent looks of the other girls, said muttered “Oh it’s just a rumor!” She shifted in her seat, “Anyway, Dean.”

“Dean Thomas?” Millicent asked, over the rim of her drink.

“Yeah,” Ginny said with a shrug. “We dated for a while between forth and fifth year. My first time wasn’t really that great though. We’d snuck up into the Astronomy Tower to snog a bit it just sort of happened. He just about stuck it in the wrong hole and then came in about twenty seconds flat. It got better later, but only just,” she said with a sigh.

“Really?” Lavender asked. “I dated him last summer and I thought he was pretty good. He was actually pretty decent with his hands. Probably those limber artist’s fingers or something,” she said with a shrug and a mischievous grin.

“You’re welcome,” Luna said with a sleepy smile.

“What?” Lavender asked in surprise.

“You’re welcome,” Luna repeated. “He took a bit of work, but I was pleased with the end result of his training,” she sighed, picking up her drink and tossing the last of it back. “We used to meet behind the portrait of the hippogriff at the end of sixth year. He was very sweet, but not much of a challenge after a few months. I like projects that require a bit more work. He just needed a little encouragement and guidance really.”

The other women blinked at her in surprise. Who knew? Luna was apparently the resident man-trainer and they’d never even known about such a juicy little detail. “Of course that’s all most boys and men ever need. Every man has his own hidden sensuality, but more often than not, his brain gets in the way. He tries too hard to do what he thinks he should and ignores what his body tells him to do.”

“Wouldn’t that be something,” Hermione sighed, “A man without dealing with the mind.”

“What like a big man-doll?” Pansy asked with a short laugh. “I kind of like the sound of that. You wouldn’t have to listen to him go on and on about how great his abs look or watch him scratch his balls or hear him snoring three seconds after he rolls off of you.”

“In the Muggle world we call those dildos,” Hermione said, “And it’s less a man and more the important bits.”

“Like a fake cock or something?” Millicent asked in surprise.

“Well yeah,” Hermione said with a shrug and a small blush. She thanked the drink in her hand for her ability to say any of this without spontaneously combusting. Butterbeer wasn’t really strong in the intoxicating sense, but it did relax a person a bit. “Women…and men, I guess…can buy dildos anywhere from a simple rough copy of a penis to a direct copy of an actor or model.”

“We have something similar I suppose,” Lavender said with a shrug. “They don’t look very real, but they move on their own for a while. They’re not very good, but I suppose nobody ever thought to improve them. It’s easy enough to just find a real partner. Our world isn’t quite as uptight about casual sex, not in the way you’ve described the Muggle world anyway.”

“It’s sad really,” Luna sighed. “I have one, but it just doesn’t live up to the real thing.”

“Of course it doesn’t,” Hermione sighed. “It’s a simple substitute.”

“Too bad they’re not a substitute and almost as good as the real thing,” Ginny said with a small smile. “I wouldn’t mind having something like that around for those late nights when I can’t sleep.”

“Why couldn’t there be?” Pansy asked leaning forward with a glint in her eyes.

“What do you mean?” Hermione asked quirking an eyebrow.

“You’re supposed to be a genius, right Granger?” Pansy asked. When Hermione shrugged and hummed noncommittally, she lowered her voice. “If I get a couple of the Wizarding ‘dildos’ for you to study, could you rework the charms, and used them on Muggle dildos?”

Hermione bit her lip and sat back thoughtfully. “I supposed so. I’m pretty good at charms, so I don’t see why I couldn’t get them to work properly.”

Ginny cleared her throat. “And you said that you can get them to look like the real thing?”

Hermione nodded. “Yeah, they make a mold of some adult film star or a model and then make copies from that, with his picture on the box. Some couples even buy kits that allow them to make their own personal copies. I guess so when he’s away on a trip, his partner still has a little piece of him to play with or something.”

The girls were silent for a moment, and like a bolt of lightning, it hit them all at once. “What would witches…and even other wizards, pay to get a ‘copy’ of their favorite wizard? And even better, what if we could capture the way it would feel to actually sleep with him?” Pansy whispered, an odd light in her eyes.

“What are you suggesting?” Ginny asked leaning in. “Are you suggesting that we start some kind of business selling fake cocks? Dumbledore would love that!” she snorted. “I don’t want to even contemplate what would happen if Snape or McGonagall found out.” She shivered at the thought of Snape standing over them assigning detention for the rest of their natural lives.

Instead of agreeing with her, Hermione was oddly silent, her finger tapping lightly against her bottom lip for long moments. Finally she spoke up softly. “Maybe we could use an altered doppelganger spell, localize it, with some parameters set so it would go into effect at the proper moment,” she muttered mostly to herself. “It should capture a few personality traits with the copy of the erection we want, though not enough to be complete really….” She frowned in frustration. You could almost hear the hum of her brain processing all the possibilities to get the new toy to work like they wanted. “I think I’ll have to create several charms to accomplish a realistic product. It would need to feel, move, act like the real thing, or it won’t really have any true appeal.”

Lavender grinned. “But can you do it?”

Luna laughed softly, “Of course she can, with our help.”

“Don’t forget the help of a few dozen unsuspecting wizards too,” Millicent said with a pleased grin on her face.

Ginny laughed. “You don’t think we should get their permission before flooding the market with exact copies of their most precious bits?”

“I suppose we could,” Hermione said thoughtfully. “Maybe we could give them a cut of the profits. We could pass around some kind of sign-up sheet with a contract attached so we don’t get in trouble later. I bet there’d be a few wizards that would find our business amusing enough to offer their services. I wonder who would agree to help?”

“Think your Golden Boy would do it?” Pansy asked with a flirty smile.

“Would yours?” Ginny countered with a laugh.

“Draco?” Millicent asked. She and Pansy looked at each other and then shrugged. “He might,” the bigger woman said. “It’s really hard to predict Draco on the best of days. His moods change pretty fast, so we’d have to ask at just the right time.”

Pansy nodded slowly, thoughtfully, in agreement. “There are other men that would be easy though. Blaise would do it in a heartbeat. I’d bet those Weasley twins would do it too,” she said pulling out her wand and summoning parchment and a quill. She scratched down a few names on it, nodding to herself again.

“Are you serious?” Ginny asked with a scowl. “I don’t want to see, let alone touch anything that is attached to one of my brothers. Do you know how hard I’ve worked to avoid seeing that kind of thing around our house?”

“But you’ve seen anyway, right?” Lavender asked laughing. “Which ones should we consider offering contracts too?”

“Yuck,” Ginny whined. She looked to Hermione for support, but found the other woman looking at her intently. “You too?” she growled. Finally she sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know, probably Ron, Fred, George, Bill and Charlie.”

“Not Percy?” Hermione asked try to stifle a laugh.

“Yeah, just ask that question in front of Fred and George and you’ll get a long lecture on why Percy is the way he is because his dick is too small,” Ginny sighed, though a small, amused smile played around the corner of her mouth.

Hermione outright laughed at that and shook her head. “Well we can’t really get to him easily anyway, nor Bill and Charlie. The twins would be easy enough and so would Ron, so add them to the offer list,” she said to Pansy.

“And Potter?” Pansy asked, her voice strangely businesslike.

“Ooo, definitely Harry,” Luna purred. “I’d pay a fortune to own a piece of him.”

“Most witches would,” Pansy said nodding, “He’s a hero after all.”

“Uh, that’s probably not entirely why,” Hermione hedged, shifting in her seat. “You see Harry is something of a legend in other areas too….”

Lavender laughed and nodded at the two Slytherins. She glanced around to see if they were still being ignored by the other customers. When no one even so much as looked their way, she leaned in and whispered, “There’s a rumor going around that riding Harry’s broom has taken on a whole new meaning this year.”

Hermione flushed, but nodded. “It’s true. Ron said Harry used to be really shy, because his body was so skinny, so he’d wait to shower last. I guess he’d also change behind his curtains too. Only at the end of last year, he’d started to feel pretty good about himself from training for the war, and didn’t hide as much.”

“Apparently Ron, Dean and Seamus wandered into their shower, one morning and caught him wanking,” Lavender laughed. “They teased him for days about it.”

“So what’s that have to do with a broomstick?” Millicent asked with a big smile on her face. It was kind of fun to know that even the Golden Boy got caught with his pants down sometimes.

Ginny laughed and blushed. “Well the teasing usually had something to do with polishing his Firebolt, but after awhile it sort of leaked out that Harry is rather long and thick. He started getting offers for dates left and right after that,” she said with a grin.

“So is the rumor true?” Pansy asked tapping her quill against her cheek.

“Yes,” the other four said in unison. They each looked at the others in surprise and Pansy and Millicent watched in interest.

Lavender smiled, “Luna and I saw him swimming in the Lake with a few other guys at the beginning of the year. You could still tell, even with his swimming trunks on.”

Four pairs of eyes turned to Hermione and Ginny, who both flushed red. “When we dated we snogged on occasion and I could feel it through his clothes sometimes,” Ginny admitted with an embarrassed shrug.

All eyes turned to Hermione, who looked like she was trying to disappear under the table. “It was just the one time,” she muttered.

“You slept with Harry?” Ginny gasped, managing to look jealous, shocked and amused, all at the same time.

“Sort of,” she sighed. “It was when we were out hunting for the pieces Voldemort’s soul,” she said with a shrug. “It was really cold one night, so we snuggled up against each other for warmth. I could feel Ron pressed into my thigh first and then Harry shifted and I could just feel him against my bum. That’s hard to ignore when you’re seventeen, you know!”

“So what do you mean by you sort of slept with Harry?” Ginny asked.

“Well I really had sex with Ron,” she admitted shyly, but I made Harry come with my mouth.” She was blushing furiously at this point and looked like she wanted to sink into the floor. “You have to keep that a secret though!” she demanded.

“So the Golden Trio really did fuck each other,” Pansy purred. “We always did wonder.” Hermione wasn’t sure if she liked the way Pansy’s eyes skated over her almost respectfully.

“Ugh, you and Ron?” Ginny said with a shiver. “There’s an image. Though I kind of like the image of you going down on Harry,” she admitted quietly. “I never did with him.”

Hermione shrugged. “Ron was actually pretty sweet and careful. I kind of thought he’d only last a minute at most and he’d be kind of clumsy, but he wasn’t at all. I’m glad it was him, my first time too, not Harry. Harry would have been too rough I think,” she mused softly. “He was careful so he didn’t gag me or anything, but I could tell he was really holding back. If we made a copy of him, we’d have to sell it was a more intense model. He’s big and would probably move fast and hard,” she said, slipping back into a more business like musing. “Ron would make a good model for women who wanted decent size with a comfortable speed and intensity.”

“So would Neville,” Luna said, lifting her glass to sip at her drink. “He’s still shy, but he’s very sweet and gentle. I like him quite a lot really,” she sighed dreamily. Neville and Luna had been dating for two months now. “He always ensures that I come at least one time. It’s lovely.”

“But would he sign a contract with us?” Ginny asked. “He’s terribly shy. I don’t know if he’d appreciate his cock circulating around the school.”

“Maybe we could give the models different names, something that describes them and their wizard, without actually naming any names,” Millicent offered. “Draco could be The Dragon, or something.”

“Draco isn’t a dragon,” Pansy said with a slow, thoughtful smile. “A dragon is all fire and force, which Draco is only on rare occasions. He’s pretty rough and fast if it’s a quickie, but for the most part I’d describe his technique as elegant. He’s slow, teasing and so gracefully good it drives me mad long before he’s even contemplating the end.”

“Then put down Elegant as his name,” Ginny said with a nod. “I was with him once too and I have to say I agree with her. He spent two hours on me and I was a puddle by the time he had finished. I’d definitely pay for that kind of experience again.”

“Harry has that scar and you said he’d probably be a hard and fast man, so maybe something to do with lightning,” Millicent said with a soft frown. “It has to be a strong name though. Lightning sounds like the name of a little girl’s first pony or something.”

“Plus it would make him sound like he’d be in and out in a second flat,” Lavender said with a nod of agreement. “Maybe thunder though. It’s related to lightning, but there is some strong and darker about it. It is powerful, but it rolls on much longer than the actual bolt of lightning. His broom is the Firebolt too, so maybe something like the Thunderbolt?”

Pansy jotted the name down and nodded. “That’s good, I think. Girls will get it and I think they’ll like the name’s sound. It does sound strong.” She thought a moment and then said, “I suggest Red, for Weasley. It’s descriptive enough and also discrete. It’s also kind of playful and fun like Weasley tends to be.” The other women nodded in agreement.

Luna smiled at them dreamily. “I think we should sell the twins’ together. Women would like that I think.”

“Plus there are some rumors that they do everything together anyway,” Lavender said with a laugh. Ginny made a gagging sound, but didn’t deny anything.

Hermione cleared her throat uncomfortably, “Um, we could maybe bind the models together or at least package a charm with them that would allow it. In the Muggle world you can buy double ended ones after all.”

“What purpose would that serve?” Pansy asked frowning.

“Well,” Hermione said uncomfortably. “Some women with a female partner use them…together…at the same time.” The women all looked at her blankly for a moment and then like dominoes falling comprehension swept over the small group, along with a few fascinated ‘oh’s’.

Pansy smiled devilishly at Hermione, “You know Granger, you’re doing a stellar job of killing your perfect little good girl image tonight. Bravo.”

“Yes…well, let’s give the twins a name and move on,” Hermione said shifting in her seat and blushing.

“Well the twins are notorious for causing trouble, we know that,” Lavender said. “What about Double Trouble? It’s descriptive and hints at a model that will probably both tease and pleasure. Does anyone know their style?” All eyes turned to Ginny.

“What?! Eeww, no! I don’t know that answer to that,” Ginny cried in horror.

“Well the walls are rather thin in your house,” Hermione muttered. “We’ll go with Double Trouble then. We can change the name during testing trials, if we need to,” she said with a shrug.

“Testing?” Millicent asked wide-eyed.

Pansy smirked. “Of course you all realize we’ll have to experiment and test everything before we can sell any of it.”

“Which brings up something important,” Hermione said nodding. “We need at least one guy who’s willing to let me experiment with the duplication charms, once I work them out. Any ideas?”

“Blaise,” Millicent and Pansy said together, definitively. “He’s not the least bit shy and will find the whole thing very amusing anyway,” Pansy said. “Plus he’ll whip it out on a moment’s notice for just about anyone anyway. He’s really no challenge in ‘Truth or Dare’; no shame at all in that one.”

“Good, maybe you could arrange a meeting with him then,” Hermione said conjuring up her own parchment and quill. “I need a few days to work out a few charms to try, so why don’t you see if he’s available Wednesday night?” Pansy nodded and jotted down a note to herself. “Ginny, you can send a note off to the twins and see if they have any advice to offer. They’re brilliant with charms, plus we can see if they’ll be willing to play along. Lavender and Millicent I want you to create a contract and sign up form that will record signatures, without advertising the name to the next person that touches the form. We want to keep the participants secret so their lives aren’t completely screwed up by this. Luna I want you to start dropping hints with girls around school, seventh years only, about how nice this product would be, and I want you to get a feel for which wizards would be most popular.”

All of the women nodded and then settled back, smiling at each other. So they were really going to do this? It seemed crazy, but it might just work.

As they all fell back to drinking and chatting about classes and boys in general, none of them noticed the two men sitting in a darkened corner a few feet away, looking at each other in shock. After a moment one shook his head with a chuckle and the other smiled slowly, dreaming of the detentions he’d be able to hand out over this little escapade.