All Around Me
All Around Me
Author: Nana
Pairing: Snape/Harry and possibly more
Rating: PG-13/light R (for now)
Warning: Character death, gore, angst
Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Summary: Feeling abandoned and alone Harry feels the cold and gloom surrounding
him until he cannot keep himself from getting out, but instead of finding some level of
release he only discovers more agony and loss.
Author’s Notes: This is just a prologue to see if I should do anymore.
And also my friend told me to do it. lol
PROLOGUE
Looking out of the Gryffindor common room windows I sought for something. Anything that might ease the cold pit of lead in my stomach. Today felt like any other day during these dark times, but something colder and more unwelcoming crept along my skin. I couldn’t say what it was for sure, not even the thundering rainstorm outside these windows seemed as chilled as my bones. Even closing my eyes for a moment of peace brought warm, salty tears to the surface. I felt weaker then ever lately, as though my very soul cried from agony. But agony of what? Agony of losing Sirius, my only family that was alive? Now that I was alone, completely, with only my friends by my side, and even they seemed to drift away from me. Ron seemed darker now, troubled and unsettled, or maybe he was soothed in the darkness and if that were so I only wonder if my dearest best friend is slipping closer to Voldemort because of me. Had our previous happenings ruined so much? How could I undo this all? Giving the biggest sigh I could I let my forehead smack against the windowpane. This common room was beginning to feel like a small little metal box with one air hole, I needed out, and I needed out NOW.
Grabbing my black sweater and jean jacket I left that stifling room and headed for the outdoors. All I could think about was what Ron had said to me, and the way he looked. Blinking back tears I rushed out into the freezing rain, zipping and buttoning my sweater and jacket. The rain soon pelting on my face and soaked hair, I hugged myself and headed for the forbidden forest. The place I had seen so many dreams erupt from, the place that held onto my heart and dragged it into the deepest area of my gut. I was drawn to this place more frequently, especially after seeing Hermione always sneaking off to this damned place. Had I seen Hermione at all today? How very awkward, she was always just taking off lately, without word or anything to leave any inkling as to what she was doing. Was she sneaking off to meet Ron? My gut churned and I nearly threw up, would Ron really do that to me? Did I truly disgust him and revolt him that much that he would turn Hermione against me? Why, why would he go so far! It was a mere mistake, it could’ve happened to anyone or with anyone, why was he being such a bloody prick! Giving a loud frustrated sigh I trekked through the forest, over tree roots or under them, climbing over rocks and down hills, the entire hike taking up nearly two hours before I finally stopped to take a breather. Leaning against a giant tree trunk I let out a soft breath and closed my eyes, leaning my head back. Draco isn’t the enemy really; we had been paired together by that awful potions of a teacher Professor Snape. How was I supposed to know Draco even eyed the same sex let alone was bi-sexual? I will admit though that he was one brilliant kisser. Yes okay! I snogged the son of the enemy’s bitch! I couldn’t help it! We were in the library and Draco kept nudging me and touching me. He kissed me after shoving me back into a corner of books, never knew I liked guys either until that moment. I still wonder if Draco merely did it to humiliate and murder my friendship with Ron. Yes, Ron found us and he practically tore my throat out, I never heard the end of it until he declared us no longer friends. It was so confusing; I never pegged Ron for a homophobe or anything. Blinking my thoughts were muffled by the slow drip of something warm on my chilled face, bringing my fingers to my cheek bone I looked at the dark smear on the pads of my fingers. Knitting my brow and I looked closer to see blood smeared along my fingertips, my eyes widening in shock as I looked up. I have never screamed so loud in my life…
I would never get over that day, the only other time I remember crying and screaming so hard was the day I saw Sirius get killed. Nothing could ever amount to that I thought, nothing. It’s been three days now since the day in the forest, and my own screams still ring clear and loud in my own ears, though everything else is muffled, quiet and distant. Even my eyesight seems to have gone blurry even with my glasses, I can’t concentrate, and I can’t find the motivation to move from my bed. I only sit up and look out the window towards the forbidden forest, the forest of death. Tears soon well up in my eyes as I stare up at my bed canopy, what cruel god would condemn a teenager to this life? Who could be so cruel, so emotionless and horrid? Well the answer is easy, Voldemort, he is the destruction of anything that could ever make one person truly happy. I will never get the images from my mind, the blood was still warm, I wonder if they were dying while I leaned against that tree, or while I was hiking to that spot. How did anyone know I would end up there? How could this happen? Was it Draco? Was he on a mission? Did he set it all up? I want to kill him, I want scream and yell, I want to curse him and watch him writhe on the floor in pain! How could he do this! It was, it was all a set up, all of it. We were all played like silly little instruments at Voldemort’s beck and call. And he didn’t even need to touch us to ruin everything. The man certainly kept his word, I have lost everything now, and how can I continue to fight him?
I’ll never forget the tortured looks on Hermione and Ron’s faces. Or the lack of skin on their bodies. I crawled up that tree, and looked into their empty eye-sockets in horror. All I remember now is seeing their hanging forms skinless, eyeless and hanging from their own insides.