errorYou must be logged in to review this story.
To Never Touch Again
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
2,668
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
3
Views:
2,668
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
To Never Touch Again
Author note: Okay…Here it is… My first attempt at Slash… *GASP*…I know. BUT my sister, Nethea, is always on the lookout for good Snarry, and I came upon a story and read a couple chapters and somehow got inspired. I’m not into this a lot, so if this sucks, forgive me. But it was something I had in mind to write. Thanks! I think I made canon believable slash...maybe!
His footsteps were slow and steady. The soft thud of his heels matched his heartbeat. He wondered how it all could have come down to this. But in the end, he knew it was best this way. No one would ever know. It would be his private, and pleasant, secret. There was no one else that knew already…for his lover was dead.
Harry turned the corner of the dimly lit corridor with one destination in mind. He had to remove the memories…all of them…before the Ministry showed up asking a bunch of questions. He was worried they would get more than they bargained for if they asked about the things he had witnessed. Especially if they asked why Snape would trust Harry with all those memories.
Harry felt his chest tighten. The pain was too fresh. The image of Severus bleeding to death in his arms was too vivid. It was too much.
Harry frantically felt for the rocky wall for support, turning himself to lean against it. He threw his head back and screamed. The tears fell fast and hard; the streams cascaded down his flushed cheeks. He had held it in all this time. He didn’t know how he did it. He wanted to scream and shout and cry right there in the Shrieking Shack, but he couldn’t…he had a mission to complete. He couldn’t let his emotions take control.
His face fell into his hands. His hands would never touch him again. His arms would never hold him again. His lips would never kiss him. His body would never really let go, but it had to let go. Harry took a deep breath to try to expel the hurt inside. He looked around the hallway.
The pale warm glow of the lamps flickered in the light breeze. Shadows danced along the cold stone walls. It was quiet…so quiet.
Harry thought of everything he had been through. He remembered when it started.
*****
“Mr. Potter, may I have a word?”
Harry looked up at the Potions Professor and gulped. He knew it was coming. The scolding that he knew he deserved for asking a bunch of silly questions at the meeting.
The second Order meeting had just adjourned and Hermione and Ron had retired to bed leaving Harry and Snape in the kitchen alone.
“Yes, sir?”
Severus poured himself another cup of coffee…black, of course…and sat down looking at the young wizard in front of him. “I believe I have something to ask forgiveness for, Mr. Potter. When I was attempting to teach you Occlumency this past month, I believe I stumbled upon something in the recesses of your mind that even you are not aware of. It was rather personal and I cannot continue with my duties while it is on my mind. It’s…distracting.”
Severus cleared his throat. Harry’s eyes narrowed. Was he nervous?
“Is there something wrong, Professor?”
“No. Well, not entirely. Mr. Potter…may I call you Harry in private?”
Harry nodded.
“Harry, I believe your…how should I put this?…I believe your interests lie not with the female of our species but with the male. I saw in your subconscious a willing desire to be taken.”
Harry’s eyes grew in half shock, half anger. “What exactly are you implying…sir?”
Severus’ eyes looked up to Harry for the first time this evening. “I believe you are homosexual, Mr. Potter.”
“WHAT?!” Harry shouted as he toppled his chair, ready to show just how wrong the professor was with a good right hook.
“Sit down, you idiot boy! You’ll wake the house!” Severus took a deep cleansing breath but remained seated. “I…saw something in your mind. And I feel the need to discuss it with you so it can be done and over with.”
“Saw what?”
Severus was trying desperately to find the right words without making the young man completely hysterical. He took another breath.
“I saw you in a desirable position with another wizard. I can only surmise that the image is rooted in a sense of experimentation or perhaps curiosity. Curiosity is common amongst all teenagers. Only a few actually carry out their curious natures,” Severus said as he resituated in his seat.
Harry noticed how uncomfortable he was discussing this with him. But he didn’t need Hermione to figure it out.
“You?”
Severus only nodded.
*****
Harry finally resigned to sitting down in the corridor and let the memories relive in his imagination. The talk he had with Severus. The quiet meetings in the professor’s office to talk about the latest bloke that caught Harry’s attention and how to deal with it when the world was watching him. That’s when the Occlumency really paid off.
But things began getting intense all through sixth year. They had only kissed once. Just the one time. Severus knew it was wrong. Harry was underage let alone his student…but it just felt right at the time.
*****
Harry pressed into Severus’s shoulder. “I should go.”
Severus sighed. “Yes, you must. We both know what is about to occur and the possibility of one or both of us not coming back is high. We have a connection, you and I. But…”
“Shh…don’t say anything else. Just hold me,” Harry said as he held Severus’ arms around himself a bit tighter. Severus obliged and they sat for a few minutes more before Harry stood up to leave.
“I know you can’t tell me everything, but tell me one thing,” Harry started, “If we do make it out of this, both of us, is there a chance?”
Severus sighed and took Harry by the hand. “If the fates allow, yes.”
“And what if…”
“Then you will continue to live your life. Marry some witch that will understand your needs and let you live them. Miss Weasley has always fancied you. Perhaps she will be kind. I’m not sure I would be able to understand if you found another man to capture your heart. I would hope that I would continue to hold it.”
The looming darkness ahead gave them both the feeling that something more needed to be done to cement the way they felt about each other. Up until this point, there was nothing more than a soft touch, a look of passion. There hadn‘t been anything extremely physical between them. And so, Severus leaned towards Harry and kissed him. It was a sensual kiss, yet chaste. Like a promise of things to come.
Harry found contentment in that and held onto that. Up until that night on the tower. It was like Dumbledore wasn’t the only one dying. Harry felt his heart rip out watching the man that had kissed him so lovingly two nights before take his beloved Headmaster’s life.
It wasn’t until Harry viewed the memories that he realized Severus’ role. Why else would Severus’ patronus be a doe? The perfect match to Harry’s stag. Why else would Severus trust Harry with his memories?
Severus loved Harry and in his dying moment, the moment when Harry realized he really couldn’t live without him and forgave him everything, did he say it through actions.
*****
Harry watched his hands tremble in his lap…hands that will never touch him again.
His footsteps were slow and steady. The soft thud of his heels matched his heartbeat. He wondered how it all could have come down to this. But in the end, he knew it was best this way. No one would ever know. It would be his private, and pleasant, secret. There was no one else that knew already…for his lover was dead.
Harry turned the corner of the dimly lit corridor with one destination in mind. He had to remove the memories…all of them…before the Ministry showed up asking a bunch of questions. He was worried they would get more than they bargained for if they asked about the things he had witnessed. Especially if they asked why Snape would trust Harry with all those memories.
Harry felt his chest tighten. The pain was too fresh. The image of Severus bleeding to death in his arms was too vivid. It was too much.
Harry frantically felt for the rocky wall for support, turning himself to lean against it. He threw his head back and screamed. The tears fell fast and hard; the streams cascaded down his flushed cheeks. He had held it in all this time. He didn’t know how he did it. He wanted to scream and shout and cry right there in the Shrieking Shack, but he couldn’t…he had a mission to complete. He couldn’t let his emotions take control.
His face fell into his hands. His hands would never touch him again. His arms would never hold him again. His lips would never kiss him. His body would never really let go, but it had to let go. Harry took a deep breath to try to expel the hurt inside. He looked around the hallway.
The pale warm glow of the lamps flickered in the light breeze. Shadows danced along the cold stone walls. It was quiet…so quiet.
Harry thought of everything he had been through. He remembered when it started.
*****
“Mr. Potter, may I have a word?”
Harry looked up at the Potions Professor and gulped. He knew it was coming. The scolding that he knew he deserved for asking a bunch of silly questions at the meeting.
The second Order meeting had just adjourned and Hermione and Ron had retired to bed leaving Harry and Snape in the kitchen alone.
“Yes, sir?”
Severus poured himself another cup of coffee…black, of course…and sat down looking at the young wizard in front of him. “I believe I have something to ask forgiveness for, Mr. Potter. When I was attempting to teach you Occlumency this past month, I believe I stumbled upon something in the recesses of your mind that even you are not aware of. It was rather personal and I cannot continue with my duties while it is on my mind. It’s…distracting.”
Severus cleared his throat. Harry’s eyes narrowed. Was he nervous?
“Is there something wrong, Professor?”
“No. Well, not entirely. Mr. Potter…may I call you Harry in private?”
Harry nodded.
“Harry, I believe your…how should I put this?…I believe your interests lie not with the female of our species but with the male. I saw in your subconscious a willing desire to be taken.”
Harry’s eyes grew in half shock, half anger. “What exactly are you implying…sir?”
Severus’ eyes looked up to Harry for the first time this evening. “I believe you are homosexual, Mr. Potter.”
“WHAT?!” Harry shouted as he toppled his chair, ready to show just how wrong the professor was with a good right hook.
“Sit down, you idiot boy! You’ll wake the house!” Severus took a deep cleansing breath but remained seated. “I…saw something in your mind. And I feel the need to discuss it with you so it can be done and over with.”
“Saw what?”
Severus was trying desperately to find the right words without making the young man completely hysterical. He took another breath.
“I saw you in a desirable position with another wizard. I can only surmise that the image is rooted in a sense of experimentation or perhaps curiosity. Curiosity is common amongst all teenagers. Only a few actually carry out their curious natures,” Severus said as he resituated in his seat.
Harry noticed how uncomfortable he was discussing this with him. But he didn’t need Hermione to figure it out.
“You?”
Severus only nodded.
*****
Harry finally resigned to sitting down in the corridor and let the memories relive in his imagination. The talk he had with Severus. The quiet meetings in the professor’s office to talk about the latest bloke that caught Harry’s attention and how to deal with it when the world was watching him. That’s when the Occlumency really paid off.
But things began getting intense all through sixth year. They had only kissed once. Just the one time. Severus knew it was wrong. Harry was underage let alone his student…but it just felt right at the time.
*****
Harry pressed into Severus’s shoulder. “I should go.”
Severus sighed. “Yes, you must. We both know what is about to occur and the possibility of one or both of us not coming back is high. We have a connection, you and I. But…”
“Shh…don’t say anything else. Just hold me,” Harry said as he held Severus’ arms around himself a bit tighter. Severus obliged and they sat for a few minutes more before Harry stood up to leave.
“I know you can’t tell me everything, but tell me one thing,” Harry started, “If we do make it out of this, both of us, is there a chance?”
Severus sighed and took Harry by the hand. “If the fates allow, yes.”
“And what if…”
“Then you will continue to live your life. Marry some witch that will understand your needs and let you live them. Miss Weasley has always fancied you. Perhaps she will be kind. I’m not sure I would be able to understand if you found another man to capture your heart. I would hope that I would continue to hold it.”
The looming darkness ahead gave them both the feeling that something more needed to be done to cement the way they felt about each other. Up until this point, there was nothing more than a soft touch, a look of passion. There hadn‘t been anything extremely physical between them. And so, Severus leaned towards Harry and kissed him. It was a sensual kiss, yet chaste. Like a promise of things to come.
Harry found contentment in that and held onto that. Up until that night on the tower. It was like Dumbledore wasn’t the only one dying. Harry felt his heart rip out watching the man that had kissed him so lovingly two nights before take his beloved Headmaster’s life.
It wasn’t until Harry viewed the memories that he realized Severus’ role. Why else would Severus’ patronus be a doe? The perfect match to Harry’s stag. Why else would Severus trust Harry with his memories?
Severus loved Harry and in his dying moment, the moment when Harry realized he really couldn’t live without him and forgave him everything, did he say it through actions.
*****
Harry watched his hands tremble in his lap…hands that will never touch him again.