Patent Leather Mini Skirt

Warnings: OOC-ness (maybe), and definitely DH spoilers! Sort of DH compliant, but this fic reveals a couple of people who died in DH, just so you know. Plus all of the other warnings that were on the outside of this fic. Anal coming, I promise!

Author's note--Major apologies to Chrissy! Chrissy, if you want me to take this down, please let me know. I wrote this before I realized you took the "patent leather mini skirt" choice. I am really looking forward to reading yours, though, and I'm fairly certain our two stories will be different.

On another note, this was the first thing that popped into my head when I read "patent leather mini skirt" from Lady_Diablo's Sex!Kink Challenge. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me...why I associate "marshmallow fluff in the jar" to a vagina and "patent leather mini skirt" to THIS.

There will be one more chapter that includes all of the sex. I'm writing it now, but I wanted to post this part at least, and hope you guys like it.

Sorry, Lady_D and Chrissy. I suck. I should've reviewed sooner, and I got caught up.

PS I like this one a lot better than "Marshmallow Fluff" for anyone who cares...

Patent Leather Mini Skirt

Draco Malfoy sat at the Three Broomsticks, staring across the table at his unlikely drinking companion. He raised his Butterbeer in toast and took a swig. Luna Lovegood smiled serenely, holding up her seltzer in kind. After the Final Battle, after Harry did what he was supposed to do, and after the rebuilding began, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry reopened only a month late. Despite the fact that the previous two Headmasters—Albus Dumbledore and for a very brief period, Severus Snape—were murdered due to the fight between Good and Evil, parents still sent their children back to Hogwarts; that could have been in large part because Harry ‘the Chosen One’ Potter announced that he would be returning to finish the seventh year that he never had, along with Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom, Luna, and the other members of Dumbledore’s Army who survived.

The Slytherin House was rather sparse this year, with the most noticeable absences being Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, Draco’s former thugs. The blonde seemed slighter and more vulnerable without his goons hulking around after him, but he was still a Malfoy, and even without his muscle, no one messed with him. Ron, and sometimes Ginny, were the only ones who still antagonized Draco, though, when Harry wasn’t around. The rivalry between the two boys faded into a grudgingly mutual and respectful silence. After what had happened, Draco and Harry no longer sniped at each other, although Draco continuously unleashed his acid tongue on Harry’s best friend and supposed girlfriend, but only in defense. Draco returned to Hogwarts more subdued but in better shape than he was during their sixth year, but he didn’t go back to torturing the Gryffindors like he had in previous years.

During the Sorting Feast, Harry had approached Draco and offered his hand in a reverse of their first year mishap. The sixth and seventh years all froze, holding their breaths, while the younger kids looked on in confusion and mild disinterest, wondering what was so worthy of everyone’s attention. Aware of the scrutiny, Harry had tipped his head towards Draco’s, speaking in a very quiet voice, since his words were for Draco and Draco alone.

“I don’t know about some wizarding families necessarily being better than others, Malfoy, but you’re right that I don’t want to make friends with the wrong sort, nor do I want to isolate the right sort. Your dad and I will probably never get along, but your mum saved my life. That in itself deserves a handshake, but I also wanted to tell you that I’ve been sorry all these years about our rough start. I hope that, now that ‘everything’ is over, we can declare a truce and be civil. I’m also sorry about Crabbe and Goyle, and I’m glad you and your family are okay.” Harry drew in a deep breath after his long speech, pink rising in his cheeks as he tried to get his breathing back under control. Draco, meanwhile, dropped his plate in shock, staring at Harry as if he had grown a second head. The classic eyebrow arched, and the sneer on Draco’s lip gave way to a tentative smile.

“Well, Potter, you DID steal my wand…but I guess I can overlook that,” Draco quipped, taking Harry’s hand and shaking it firmly. They looked into each other’s eyes, finding an understanding and slightly confused about the warmth they each felt.

Ever since then, the two former archrivals exchanged tight-lipped smiles and nods that morphed into genuine smiles and nods. There was a fragile peace between them that seemed to be getting stronger every day, in spite of the fact that Ron had continued to taunt and insult the Slytherin until Harry had blown up at him for it. After that, the redhead held his tongue, merely glaring at Draco while Harry was around, and making muttered comments when he wasn’t.

Everyone also expected Harry and Ginny to declare their ‘coupledom’ right away, since it seemed like they were headed in that direction. At first, they were inseparable, but after Harry yelled at Ron, things felt frostier between Harry and Ginny, especially since she sided with her brother on the whole Malfoy thing. After losing Fred, Ron and Ginny took up for each other much more than before. It was rumored that George was deeply depressed and not adjusting well to life without an ear and without his twin, so it was understandable that the Weasleys would be pulling together more so now than before.

The gossip-mongers of Hogwarts had quite a field day when Harry was seen Apparating back from Hogsmeade with Luna one night, and he and Ginny were officially over the next day. It was not that Harry and Luna were suddenly together, but they were spotted together in the Ravenclaw common room more than once; Ron was also not speaking to the Golden Boy, and Hermione was pulled in all three directions, trying to sympathize with Ginny and be supportive of Ron while not abandoning Harry.

Of course, Draco noticed all of this, watching intently from the background, and he actually felt bad for the Gryffindor’s girl troubles. He even defended Harry when the Weaselette began snarking about him behind his back, which usually led to a drawing of wands and massive hexing, until and unless the others present broke it up. He had been in shock that Harry defended him to Ron, effectively shutting the redhead up for the most part. Draco had grown up enough (and now possessed enough self control) to know that taunting Ron would turn Harry against him, and especially now that they had a cease-fire, Draco held his tongue. After everything that he went through in the war, though, he found that insulting Weasley didn’t have the same appeal as it once did, and he supposed that was for the better.

Draco had never liked Ginny, and he didn’t know Luna well enough to approve or disapprove of her relationship with Harry (not that he had any claim to Harry, though). But when Harry would be spotted walking to or from the Great Hall with the blonde Ravenclaw, Draco found that there was a dull ache in his chest, and he finally attributed it to…jealousy. He was surprised to figure out that he apparently still had a heart, and it fluttered wildly when Harry smiled at him. Not to mention the butterflies, and then there was the masturbation. Ever since Harry offered his hand on the night of the Sorting Feast, with his green eyes crinkled in hopefulness and slight sheepishness, staring into Draco’s surprised grey ones, Draco had been aroused by nothing else. The emerald eyes haunted his dreams, and Harry’s face dominated his fantasies. Sometimes he imagined that Harry was looking at him the same way, with lust in his eyes, but it was usually gone in a blink, and then Harry would glance back to whoever he was speaking with, the connection broken.

It began to drive Draco slightly mad. Not the kind of madness that tormented him during his sixth year: the mind-hell of Voldemort’s making, but the madness of love that was far more subtle. Draco wasn’t really sure if he was gay or straight, since he really didn’t look at any other guys and find them attractive, especially not any of the Weasleys. After Pansy had been more than willing to sell Harry out to Voldemort on the night of the Final Battle, Draco had dropped her in disgust, firmly stating that he would sooner be re-Sorted into Gryffindor than have to endure one more second of her traitorous bitchiness. Coming from the Slytherin Prince, that was quite enough to make Pansy somewhat of a pariah, and rumor had it that she was looking into transferring to Durmstrang to finish her seventh year after the Christmas holidays.

The blonde knew without a doubt that he could never just tell Harry how he felt about him, not to mention the fact that he didn’t want to be gossiped about, since society was not kind to homosexually-inclined people, and Draco was well aware of the complexity and enormity of what his heart was telling him was right. Seeing Luna and Hermione talking one day in the library gave Draco the flash of inspiration he needed. He would get to know Luna! If it turned out that she was ‘right’ for Harry, then he would know it and be able to deal with his unrequited feelings and move on. But if she was just playing him (which Draco didn’t THINK sounded like Luna, but being a Slytherin, he had to consider the deception angle) or if they weren’t meant for each other, maybe Draco could subtly influence her to break it off.

Draco knew he wasn’t the best at making friends, but he tried his best. Everyone in school knew that Luna Lovegood was a firm believer in the existence of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack, and Draco had even teased her himself about her eccentricities, once upon a time when he thought those sorts of differences were important. If war was good for one thing, it definitely put things into perspective, and Draco felt that he had achieved more than enough perspective to last him a lifetime. Of course, he still preferred green over red, but he had learned respect. Shedding his father’s longtime discriminatory beliefs, Draco apologized to Hermione for calling her “the ‘M’ word” over and over, which got him further into Harry’s good book. Draco still privately preferred purebloods or half-bloods to Muggles (with Hermione being the only exception), but he no longer expressed those views publicly.

He owled his mother and asked her to send him one of their library’s books on mythical, magical creatures, the one that had an entire section devoted to the Snorkack, and Draco approached Luna after dinner one night. They took a walk down to the lake, where Draco presented her with the book. He smiled to see her face light up, and her grey eyes shone with none of the dreaminess that was her aura. He could see why Harry was attracted to her, when she smiled like that, even if Draco himself wasn’t. She was very quick to forgive him all of his wrongdoings over the years, and Draco found that he rather enjoyed her calm demeanor and open attitude. It was refreshing, if a bit unnerving at first, for the Slytherin, but he adapted after he got over his initial ingrained paranoia. He tried very hard to keep his question light when he asked about hers and Harry’s relationship, but Luna saw right through his façade.

“Draco, if you like him, you should tell him,” Luna said, stopping suddenly and putting her hand on Draco’s arm. Draco stopped too, his mouth open in shock. Luckily they were taking one of their weekly walks around the lake and were alone, even though Draco suspected that Harry was watching them from the castle. The vicious rumor of the week was the speculation that either Luna was two-timing Harry with Draco or that Draco was trying to steal her from the black haired boy. Luna kept Draco’s secrets well while reassuring Harry that nothing inappropriate was happening, so the Gryffindor tried his best to ignore the gossip. “Anyone can see it, dear. I’m in favor of it, just so you know.”

“But-but…” Draco was at an utter loss for words. “What about you and Harry?”

“Harry and I will always be friends,” Luna said matter-of-factly. “We spend time together because we enjoy each other’s company, not because the sex is mind-blowing.” Draco did a double take, and his pale face turned beet-red.

“WHAT?”

“Well, it is,” Luna shrugged innocently. “But we were friends before that, and we will continue to be friends after we are no longer bed-partners. Some of our best sessions happened right after he had a fight with Ron or Ginny about you, and I more than suspected it wasn’t because I was suddenly more alluring than usual. He talks about you, Draco, and it’s not bad at all. We are close, Harry and I, and just so you know, I’ve been telling him the same thing.”

“What same thing?” Draco’s mind got stuck in a mental image of Harry naked, and he tried to keep up with the conversation.

“That if he likes you, he should just tell you,” Luna said nonchalantly. “It feels as if our time is beginning to wind down, and that is fine. I might be leaving for Sweden soon anyway to find a Snorkack if this book proves helpful!” Luna giggled, holding up the book.

Draco was utterly taken aback. Never in his wildest imagination had he envisioned having a conversation like this with anyone, much less Luna Lovegood, the girl who was banging the guy of his dreams! Not to mention the fact that Luna did not seem to be deceiving him or setting him up, but Draco WAS having a hard time wrapping his mind around the idea that Harry Potter might be into him too. It was a safe fantasy, but if Harry felt the same way…Draco shuddered in anticipation.

“But that’s the big question, isn’t it?” he murmured. “If he’s shagging YOU, he’s obviously not gay.”

“It’s not a matter of labels, Draco,” Luna said patiently. “It’s a matter of love, and you can’t help who you love. You also can’t help who you don’t love. Harry loves me, and I know this. I love him too. But it’s a ‘friend’ kind of love, not unlike what he feels for Hermione, I think. No one gets to him quite the way you do, and in that, I think, is the potential for something more. It seems like the ‘soul-mate’ kind of love, Draco, and I think you should go for it.”

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” Draco hated how his voice showed a little bit of the fear he was feeling. Luna chuckled.

“We’ve been practicing anal,” she said, and Draco turned red again, not sure if he really wanted to hear this. “He’s really good at it, but the way his hands move…I’m fairly certain it’s not me he’s shagging in his head. He doesn’t know that I know, but every once in a while, your name slips past his lips in the dead of night, when he’s sound asleep and most likely dreaming deeply. Sometimes it comes out in a gaspy sort of breath, all needy and erotic, and other times, it’s a plea, like he’s drowning and you’re the life-vest. And sometimes it’s predatory, and that makes me think he’s dreaming of Quidditch, with you as the Snitch.”

“Damn,” Draco whistled low, his cock twitching in response to Luna’s words. He would have to remember an image of Harry, sleeping innocently (and ALONE in bed) moaning his name, when he tossed off tonight, but for the time being, Draco shook his head, trying to get his hormones back under control.

“I have an idea,” Luna’s silvery eyes gleamed, and for one second, Draco thought he saw a Slytherin look on her face before it was lost in the detached dreaminess again. “I have this patent leather mini skirt that just screams ‘quickie’, and Harry knows what it means. It means a quick, hot fuck up against the wall either in the bathroom before dinner or in an alcove between classes, and it means from behind. If you borrowed it, I’m sure it would give you everything you’ve ever wanted and then some…” Luna giggled, tilting her head to look at the blonde boy.

“You want me to wear a WHAT?” Draco was horrified to find that the idea appealed to him, and he tried to hold on to some shred of dignity and manhood that rebelled against the idea of dressing up in women’s clothing. Luna ignored his question and made him stand still as she circled him, looking him up and down.

“You’re taller than I am, but other than that, you’d make a pretty fair double,” she said.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Draco was close to panicking.

“Draco, calm down. Your hair is blonder than mine, but our eyes are about the same color. Our bodies are quite similar, except for the obvious differences, of course. If we lengthen your hair and charm one of my shirts, with that mini skirt, I’m fairly certain you could pass for me!” Luna crowed triumphantly, throwing her hands up as if she had just solved the world’s problems.

“How does this help me?”

“If he sees this mini skirt, he’ll be ready to go,” Luna explained patiently. “If we cast the spells just right, he might not even notice it’s not me until after you two are shagging the daylights out of each other. How could he resist you after a round of stellar sex?”

Draco cocked his head, thinking. On the one hand, it was more than appealing to be shagged by Harry, and Draco’s cock was definitely agreeable to the idea. On the other hand, it could go horribly, horribly wrong and it might kill all semblance of camaraderie the two former rivals currently shared.

“Draco, you have to be willing to take risks for what you want,” Luna said, and Draco wondered if she had so perfected Legilimency that he couldn’t even feel her reading his mind! “Harry’s worth the risk, don’t you think?”

Draco swallowed hard and nodded.

“Luna Lovegood, I didn’t think you had it in you! If this works, I owe you big time,” he said, pulling her into a hug. “I feel a need to celebrate! Join me for a drink at the Three Broomsticks?”

And armed with a plan, Draco and Luna Apparated to the pub and Draco bought a round. They held their drinks up in a celebratory toast while they furtively worked out the details, Luna giggling all the while at the thought of Draco in a patent leather mini skirt!

Author's note--Chapter 2 coming soon!