Naked Without You

Naked without you


Hermione was just putting her sweats on when she heard the noises outside her room, well... actually, her room for the night. She finished her changing rapidly and followed the sound into the room her host occupied.

In front of her stood a young man in his early twenties, illuminated by the light in the fireplace that he just stepped out of. It was getting harder by the day to look at him and think of him as a friend. Only a friend.

He looked tired somehow. His hair was falling over his eyes making them even more of a mystery than they ordinarily were. His tie was loosened with a few of the top shirt buttons unbuttoned. And the same shirt was partially pulled out of his slacks. She didn't want to go there. Didn't want to find any meaning to his appearance. Didn't want to picture him with someone.

'Granger,' he said with no emotion, and loosened his tie a bit more, enough to take it over his head.

'You've been drinking,' she replied, annoyed by the self-destructive habit that he had recently developed, even more annoyed with the number of sluts that followed his drinks.

'Well...it is the only way,' he said, more to himself than her, then smiled somewhat sadly.

'The only way for what? Killing yourself?' She knew better than going down that road.

'Close' he said pouring a glass of firewhiskey and pointing at her. 'Numbing myself.'

'Why Draco?' And she looked at the half full glass in his hand. Stupid enough not to shut up when she should have.

'Why...? I think, I think you might know why.' It was that look in his eyes again.

The look she couldn't stand.
Sad and hungry and dangerous.

'I'm going to bed.' She whispered.

'No...no, don't you wanna hear why, Hermione? Aren't you curious to hear? Come, sit with me...and I'll tell you why I need to numb my senses to make it through this night. Come, we'll talk...We do that well don't we? At least we used to....' He said sitting down in an armchair. Hermione didn't like the sarcastic tone.

She turned around and he pointed at the chair.

When she came to sit next to him she reached for the glass in his hands, took it, and placed it on the coffee table.

He was moved by the gesture. She knew he was. She could disarm him with almost no effort.

She cared for him. And he knew it. Felt it. It weakened him. Every time.
Because no one cared for him as much as she did.

It made everything even worse.

'It's getting harder by the day.' He said. 'And you can feel it to...I know you can.' He sounded tired.
Tired of the struggle.

Thumbs brushed against her temple as he touched her hair.
Slid down the side of her face, traced her jaw.

'Draco, I can't...' She managed to find a voice somewhere inside...'I don't know what you are talking about.' Then tried to avoid the pain in his eyes.

'So I imagined it?' he asked.

She stayed quiet.

'I imagined the other day in the hallway at the Order Headquarters? You trembled when you felt me behind you.' He stated.

'I don't like people standing behind my back.' She said firmly. 'And I don't like where you're taking this.'

But he wasn't about to give up. He needed her to admit it.

'I saw you tried to avoid my eyes when I walked in on Ron kissing you yesterday. And I saw how you willed yourself not to look at me this morning when they left saying it would be the safest for you to stay the night here. With me. Did I imagine that? Tell me....and don't lie to me Hermione because I'll know.'

He'll know.

'I don't like where you are taking this.' She repeated quietly.

'Where am I taking this? I can't take this anywhere because I am not allowed to stab him in the back.'
Desperate.

'Then please, just let it be.' She whispered. He recognized the pleading in her broken voice.

'Sure.' He said and reached for the glass but she stopped his hand. It brought her body closer.

He closed his eyes. ‘You shouldn't...you really shouldn't be this close to me. Not when I'm like this...'

She released him immediately. But her body held it's previous pose. She placed her palms against his cheeks and turned his head to face her. 'I can't watch you do this to yourself. You are ripping me apart...With all the things waiting for us to cope with ....I can't watch you waste your strength and spirit like this. Alcohol and random sluts.'

Her voice was trembling.
Her concern touched him.

'Hermione...' a helpless whisper and a touch of his forehead against hers.

God, she loved him. Loved the person that he became. She loved the pain he lived through. She loved that he was on his own. So different. She loved the intelligence...humor. She loved the weakness behind the strong body of this man.

'No, I won't let you ruin your life like this...' she said.

Why do you care Hermione? Why are you all so fucking good to me?

'What life?' He asked and his fists encircled her wrists. Lowered them in her lap...and held them there. 'Watching you two blissfully happy? Watching you kiss him, him having everything I want? A life of knowing he deserves you....so much more than I do?'

But he doesn't.

She felt a hint of anger in his tone. Bitterness.

‘I couldn't do it tonight, Hermione.' He laughed...She needed him to stop. Stop tormenting them both. But he continued 'Who'd know? I had her there... Lisa, Lara...Linda...whatever...and I couldn't force myself to fuck her, then come back here and see you. Look you in the eye. In my home.'

'Stop it...' She felt her throat tighten.

'Yet, you do it all the time...' he said ironically.
And the look in his eyes again. Burning. 'Did you ever think it was me?'

She did.

'Draco...you don't...you don't know what you're talking about.' She said getting up and heading towards the door. She realized her voice was shaky. Legs too.

It's going to happen.

When she reached for the knob a hand came from behind her head and closed the door shut with a click. She glanced to a hand pressing on the wood next to her cheek.

She knew the hand too well. She was not supposed to know it at all... but dreamed of feeling it against her skin. Feared letting it actually happen. Pictured the long fingers around her wrists. And now, she was frightened. She was too frightened to turn and face him. She closed her eyes and swallowed.

'I want you.' He whispered in her ear.

It made her weak. His hot breath on her skin. Made her weak.

'And I need you to want me back...because it's the only way I can handle it.' He pressed his forehead against her temple inhaling the scent of her. Sounded so helpless. As helpless as she felt. 'I have to split the blame in two....I have to.'

She felt his left hand on her belly, pressing on it from behind her...making her come in contact with his body. Making her feel how shamelessly hard he was.

The feel of his lips brushing over the back of her neck made her tremble.

He felt it.

She knew he felt it. And she tried to stand up for her relationship once more. She said...

'You are drunk.'

'It takes a lot more liquor to get me drunk....' He said while slowly undoing the waistband string of her sweat pants...'...and I've only had enough to make me taste sweet on your tongue.' He whispered into her neck and kissed her jaw from behind. She shivered. Closed her eyes.

'Please...' she managed when he turned her around to face him. Pleading won't do it this time. She saw it in his eyes. It was out of his hands. It almost scared her.

His fingers stretched the cotton pants over her hips and they slid down and around her ankles. His eyes never left hers.

His fingers moved between her legs...and his jaw clenched. She saw it. Saw that raw look in his eyes...not being able to breathe because of it...leaning back against the door just looking at him. Beautiful.

She never dared to imagine that she would stand this close to him. She never dared because she knew she wouldn't stop there. And yet, she was here now....terrified that he might stop. Ashamed that he had found out only by touching her how much she wanted him.

So she decided to split the blame.

Shaking delicate fingers unzipped his pants and pushed them down his hips. Together with his boxers.

Just this one time.

She was dying under his eyes. Dying to taste his lips. For a year now.
They were slightly parted. Even more perfect from up close.

His hand traveled down the back of her thigh to above her knee and lifted her right leg around his waist. Gasped at the contact. Her shoulders still connected to the door behind. She unzipped her sweatshirt and took it off...and he had to look down. Only a tank top. No bra.

She looked at the lips again. Reached out and brushed her thumb against them. A second before she leaned in to kiss him she felt him enter her fully and her forehead fell to his shoulder. She moaned loudly. He just sharply exhaled.

A part of him found satisfaction in hurting her...taking her this roughly. A part of him wanted to fuck her to punish her. For making him fall in love with her. A part of him just wanted to give her all he had. To adore her. Like he knew he could.

He pulled the other leg around his waist. And started to move inside her. To thrust deeper inside.

Her hands framed his face and brought his parted lips to her trembling ones.
Finally tasted him.

His tongue in her mouth instantly, finding her own....sucking on her lower lip, teeth sinking in it...and the feel of him filling her so perfectly. With each thrust against her body.

So this is how it is...just as she always knew it would be.

With him.
Primal and hard.
Complete and possessive.

She wanted him forever.

How sick was that?

Her muscles clenched around him, and he pushed her back to the door harder. She cried out in pain. Cried out from the pleasure that filled her insides. It was like she was melting. His thrusts became so desperate...so alive. Her elbows on his shoulders, fingers tangled into a silk of a blonde hair, bracing herself for what was to come.

His head buried into her neck...

Liquid pleasure spilled through her veins. Heart stopped for a second. Body stiffened...He felt it and pulled her head back to kiss her as the rhythm of her muscles pulled him over.

His mind went blank. For a second.

When he came back he was still tangled in her body...Carried her to the bed and lay her down.

He unbuttoned his shirt.

'Draco...' breathing hard.

She looked at him...hesitant. Watching his lean body for the first time. Dying to touch it. To have it. Be trapped under it.

He came over her and she looked up at him.

The flicker of fear in her eyes drove him mad.

He pulled her top over her head.

She opened her mouth to speak....He said 'It's not enough.'

Did she think it was enough?
One time?
Against the door?
Desperate and hard?

He needed more.

'Draco...we...we can't.'

'We already have....' He said and kissed her neck. ‘Tonight you're mine...so forget...for one night we'll forget...'

A horrible person. She was. Because she decided she would. Tonight, she'll pretend she's his.

She nodded.

He turned her on her stomach in the middle of a poster bed dressed in satin sheets; he pulled her up on her knees holding her in front of him. Spooning her body.

She knew why he wanted it like this.

His hands roamed over her naked body, tongue drew patterns over the back of her neck. Her body shivered.

'So many times....do you know? '

'I know' she whispered.

'The first time...you know it don't you? You felt it too...'

She nodded. Let her head fall back on his shoulder. Her hands resting on his knees each side of her.

'You were up late...at the Headquarters. Sitting behind that counter on a high chair...wearing your sweats...like tonight.'

She remembered the fire lighting the room...remembered his scent. It scared her then for the first time.

'You turned around and smiled.' He breathed into her hair.

Because she was up waiting for him to come back safe. She couldn't sleep. Always worrying about everyone.

He walked to her that night, leaning over to see what it was that she was reading.

She smelled like home.

'I realized I wanted you. Then. You were so beautiful.'

His hands cupped her breasts...gently... thumbs over the nipples.

'Draco...' she breathed out and leaned back, pressing her body into his...bringing one hand behind his neck.

'It came over me... a rush....so strongly...in that moment. I had to have you....just...' She smelled a hint of alcohol on his breath. Sweet.

She wanted sweet.

His fingers pressing on her parted lips...brushing over them...
Whispering moist words into her ear.

'...bend you over that counter and just take you...let it out...fuck you and get you out of my head...'

She whimpered.

Get the other man's girl out of my head. My friend's girl out of my head.

'Instead, I thought about it every night.' She never heard his voice so husky before. Low. It did things to her.

He pushed her down with his chest slowly. Caressed her arms from her shoulders to hands. Tangled his fingers with hers and placed her hands on the sheets in front of her.

Fingers on her hips, keeping her lower body in contact with his. Feeling him hard. Moist from before. About to enter her again.

'Like this.' He breathed.

He filled her slowly, knowing what it did to her. She felt like her spine was on fire... She leaned down on her elbows, pressed her forehead to her knuckles. Spread her knees wider on the bed. Felt his fingers teasing her clit. Felt him move deeper.

Nails digging into fine sheets. 'Draco...please.'

He withdrew almost completely and paused. She closed her eyes. Thrust back in. Then again. And again. Again. More. Faster this time. Harder. She bit on her knuckles.

She dreamed of this. Feared it. Wanted it. Pictured it.
She loved it. The way he made her fell. A woman. Completely powerless.
At his will.