Dispassionately

I am sitting in the dark awaiting his return. It’s been sixteen long years since you told me you had to go. Well, he didn’t tell me. When I woke up the day after my birthday with nothing more than a note saying that you had to go. To me, it was as though you had fallen off the face of the earth. No matter how hard or where I looked I could find no trace of you. Sixteen years to the day when I got your message, that you’d be returning to me. That everything was all right and it was safe for you to return to my side. It was so hard to let you go after you left, but I had to go on and now, I don’t know if I want to let you back in. I mean, after all…I had to think of Mattie now. There’s no question in my mind that she’s yours. She had your eyes, the ones that can look right through a person and know what they are thinking, but that might be a little of her magic she has started to control. Oh how I missed you on those long nights when she was sick and I was the only one to care for her, though not the only one to lover her. You made sure that even though you weren’t there, she had plenty of family. I used to make myself sick thinking about what happened to you, until I just stopped, I began to hate you for leaving me…but then I began to hate myself, hate myself for thinking such things. And despite this, even despite the dispassionate and despairing thoughts I’ve had in these sixteen years, I await your return, because if I don’t I will truly come undone. The pain of this cause my throat to constrict, the tears threaten to fall. There’s a soft hello from the direction of the door. It’s Mattie. She truly is your daughter; she can tell when something is wrong from halfway across the house, she sits and I hug her close. I am gaining my family back, the family I always wanted. Its time to meet you at the station. I could keep you waiting, but I don’t think I could keep myself from waiting even a second longer. Not ten minutes later I stand in the cool night air of the station as I wait, I am early, and your train has not yet arrived. You’ve been gone so long and here I stand, destined to wait anyway. Would I wait an eternity even if it broke my heart?…for you…anything. Your train has pulled up, but there is no sign of you yet. I wait, as patiently as I can manage. Suddenly it’s like a spotlight has been turned on and your dark head can be seen in the crowd, suddenly it’s like all the patrons have left, and it’s just you and me. You walk towards me, eyes downcast. When you stand before me you look into my eyes. “Severus.” I can’t respond at first, those damn tears again. “Harry.” My vision focuses and I see that you are crying too. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I had to leave you. I thought about you once for every breath that I took.” The tears are flowing now, and I reply with my teaching voice, “Well it seems that you need a detention for tardiness.” We both laugh, and you reply, “Well professor, I believe that you are getting lax, when I was young it was a full week of detention and more points than we could even imagine.” I smile, my heart mending, “Well lets just say, I’ve got a soft spot for my own.”
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A.N-This is something that I am editing and working with, it was inspired by several songs that will be listed later. Other than that enjoy, if you dont like it, thats not really my problem.