*Deserving Of Love*

This story takes place the summer before fifth year. Main focus is on Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, but other characters play large roles as well. I own nothing. All characters, names, and places belong to J K Rowling. I make no profit from these stories.

Reviews are welcome!


He woke with a start. He could have sworn that someone else was in bed with him; he was positive that he could feel her moving rhythmically underneath him, her arms around his neck, her nails dragging down his back harshly as her release came. He could still feel the pressure of her legs wrapped around his waist, the wetness of her tongue as it drew a shaky line from the base of his neck to his earlobe, her breathing his name in strangled whispers as she begged him to push into her harder, faster. He could taste the salt on her skin, could smell the musk and sweat in the air from their joining. He could feel the humming that went through his body as he found his release deep inside of her, could feel the hoarseness in his throat from screaming her name over and over again; “Nymphadora…”

He sat up abruptly and looked around for any evidence that she was indeed in his bed last night.

A piece of stranded clothing maybe?

Some wine glasses on the nightstand?

An earring tangled in the sheets?

There was nothing – just phantom tingles on his skin and a sense of dread that he had imagined the entire night.

His dreams were getting worse as the month wore on; it was six days until the full moon and his awareness of her in the house was bordering on obscene. He could smell her from two rooms away. When he was near her he swore he could hear her heart beating under her ample chest, he could feel her eyes burning into him whenever she looked his way. And he could taste her. She was like sugar on his tongue; gritty, sweet, and torturous, and if anyone had a sweet tooth, it was Remus J. Lupin.

He dragged himself out of bed slowly, fighting the urge to drift back into sleep and back into his dream. He walked unsteadily to the bathroom and turned on the shower, turning the tap entirely to cold. Stripping off his pajama bottoms he stepped into the stall, letting the freezing water pour over his lanky frame and cool the desire that stirred within him. Her smile faded from his mind as the water worked its very own form of magic; the image of her breasts cupped by his large hands was washed down the drain, the phantom feelings of her weight on him followed, and once she was cleansed entirely from him, he stepped out of the shower. He knew he that he wouldn’t be free from thoughts of her for very long, she was probably down stairs this very minute, drinking her coffee, nibbling on toast, and reading the newspaper. But at least for the next few minutes he could be comfortably numb.

He dressed quickly, pulling on a pair of black pants, a grey button-down and a tattered jumper before exiting his room. The clock in the hall sounded eight o’clock, but already the house was coming alive around him.
He could hear Molly Weasley yelling at the boys to get up, that breakfast was almost ready. Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley could be heard making their way to the kitchen, talking excitedly about the upcoming trip to Diagon Alley to get school supplies for the upcoming school year. Hermione would be starting her fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Ginny her fourth. They had become close over the summer, the only young girls in a house of wild rambunctious boys.

As he made his way to the kitchen he heard HER –Nymphadora- laugh; it was a slow high giggle, and it made his cheeks grow warm with want. He paused before entering the kitchen, breathing deeply in order to control himself. After a minute he walked in to find her sitting at the table in an oversized white t-shirt and short robe, her feet covered in a pair of his old slippers. She raised her pink shaggy head at the creak of the door and smiled warmly.

“Good morning Remus.”

“Good morning Tonks. Hermione, Ginny; good morning.”

“Morning Professor” the girls said in unison, smiling over their breakfast.

Tonks was still looking at him, her grey eyes shining at him, her cheeks blushing slightly before she returned to her paper. The whistle of the tea kettle drew him away from her suddenly, and he reached in the cupboard for a cup. His favorite cup was missing, probably left in the library or in his room somewhere. He was always leaving his teacups laying around, much to the annoyance of Molly Weasley who scolded him daily for it. He grabbed a random cup out the cupboard and busied himself with making tea, trying to ignore the conversation that was taking place behind him between Hermione, Ginny, and Tonks.

“So Tonks, can we ask you a question?” Hermione asked cautiously, her voice slightly nervous sounding.

“Sure...” He could hear Tonks folding her paper and setting it down in order to focus on the young ladies across from her.

“Um...” Ginny hesitated. “Do you… have a boyfriend? Cause you never talk about anyone.”

At this Remus turned around and watched intently as Tonks’ cheeks turned a shade of pink
that made her hair seem dull in comparison. She laughed lightly and moved uneasily in her seat.

“No, I do not. Why? This isn’t a matchmaking plot is it? Ginny, does this have anything to do with a particular older brother of yours?”

Ginny turned slightly red at this and smiled broadly.

“Well, I heard my mum talking to dad about how she wanted Charlie to find someone as lovely as you, so I just thought… never mind. It was rude of us to ask.”

“Yeah, sorry Tonks.” Hermione blushed deeply and smiled.

“No harm, ladies. And if I wasn’t interested in someone else, I might actually consider it.”

Remus’ heart sank. She was interested in someone, and undoubtedly it wasn’t him. He was much too old for her, and his financial situation, as well as his ‘monthly condition’ did not make him an eligible bachelor in many people’s eyes. He was certain she would never think of him in that way.

“Actually Charlie and I would never work; we thought about it at one point, but it was too weird. We are good friends though. Not that I do not think friends could become something more.”

She said this part a little bit louder, and gave Hermione a little wink.

Hermione and Ginny nodded their heads and started to whisper quietly to each other, presumably about whom it was that Tonks was interested in. Tonks turned her head and gave a small smile at Remus before burying her head back into her paper. Just then Molly burst in and gave Remus a wink.

“Good morning Remus. I trust you slept well?”

He walked over to the table and sat down next to Tonks, turning only slightly red at her question. If she only knew, he thought.
A dreadful thought suddenly crossed his mind and he choked on his tea briefly. What if he said her name out loud sometime during the night? Molly and Arthur’s room was right next to his. His face turned bright red tried to push the thought out of his head. He would have to do a silencing spell on his room tonight, just to make sure.

“Um yes, well enough Molly. And you?”

“Oh very well, dear. Now. What do you want to eat? The eggs and bacon are almost done.”
She nodded to a spatula that was magically lifting fried eggs and crisp bacon onto a platter.
“And the muffins are about ready to come out of the oven.”

“Eggs are fine, thanks.” Remus sat his mug down as a plate of hot eggs and bacon set itself down on the table in front of him. He picked up his fork and started to eat, watching Tonks out of the corner of his eye. She was still reading the paper, seemingly absorbed in a story about the appointing of Dolores Umbridge as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. He watched as she reached for her coffee and knocked it over, spilling the warm liquid into his lap.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake! I’m so clumsy sometimes…”
She squealed as she picked up a napkin and began wiping at his leg. Her hand in his lap did nothing to ease the fire that he had been trying so hard to control; he burned at her touch, and very gracefully pushed her arm away.

“Tonks, leave it, its fine really.” He drew his wand and uttered a drying spell, then cleaned up the spilled coffee. He reached for the tipped-over mug and his hand caught hers briefly.
He recognized the chipped white cup as his favorite tea cup, and he smiled as she righted the mug and looked at him sheepishly. He picked up the cup and stood and refilled it for her, setting it gently down in front of her. Hermione and Ginny giggled quietly at his actions, making him worry that his feelings were not as well concealed as he would like to believe.

“Thanks Remus. Sorry I’m so clumsy… did I hurt you?”

He could see the remorse and worry in her clear grey eyes, along with a twinge of
embarrassment. Her hair faded from the bright pink to a dull shade of brown as she searched his eyes for forgiveness.

“No, it wasn’t hot. I swear. You did not hurt me, Nympha- Tonks.” She hated it when he called her by her first name in front of other people. The girls giggled again, only to be shushed by Molly loudly clearing her throat.

Tonks smiled at him sweetly and her hair returned to pink again. He studied her for a second before smiling briefly at Hermione and Ginny, and then returned to his breakfast.

The kitchen door swung open quickly and Harry Potter, and the Weasley boys – Fred, George, and Ron came in, yawning and stretching noisily.

“Good morning boys. Nice of you to join us.” Molly said as she set a large basket filled with muffins on the table. Harry flopped down next to Remus, and reached for a hot muffin.

“Morning Professor.” Harry pulled a hunk of muffin off and shoved it into his mouth, his eyes still closed from sleep.

“Good morning Harry, boys. What do you have planned on your last day of freedom?” A round of groans met him as the boys all dug greedily into the plates of food that Molly had set down in front of all of them.

“You had to remind us, didn't you Professor?” Ron picked an entire egg up with his fork and shoved it into his mouth, glaring at Remus as he chewed sleepily.

“Sorry…” He smiled warmly at Ron, and threw him a napkin to wipe the yolk that was dripping off of his chin.

“Well,” answered Fred after inhaling a muffin in a single bite, “We are probably gonna finish eating, then sit around a bit, then play some quidditch out back. Wanna join us Professor?”

“Would love to, but I have a bit of reading to catch up on.”
He rose from his seat, placed his plate in the sink and refilled his tea cup. He turned and watched the children intently. Ron moved over to Remus’s vacated seat, much to the delight of Hermione and Ginny, who were being squished by the twins. Harry and Ron got into a heated argument over who really won the wizards chess game last night, it ended with Ron shouting that he DID not cheat when Harry went to the bathroom, and Harry muttering a food-muffled “Whatever you say…”
The twins pulled Tonks away from her newspaper and had her transforming her hair into a long, straight blond style, telling her that she looked just like a Veela, and that she would give Fleur Delacour a run for her money.
Hermione and Ginny scowled at the mention of Fleur’s name and Hermione shot Ron a dirty look because he had been attracted to Fleur the year before. Remus realized that he would miss the kids when they left, they brought so much joy and laughter into this old stuffy house, and to Sirius as well. He knew that Harry would especially be missed, Sirius loved having him around – it made him feel like he never lost James and all of those years of his youth, and he had returned to the age of sixteen, playing pranks on the girls and the adults, and laughing riotously at everything.

But in two days they would be going back to Hogwarts and the days spent at 12 Grimmauld Place would be dull again. Of course there would still be meetings of the Order of the Phoenix held here. He would look forward to that to fill the days and make him feel useful again.

But when the children left he would have less people to distract him from Tonks. She was staying here for awhile, in order to always be prepared to help the Order out if needed, and the kids provided a barrier between him and her. He could not day dream about her nearly as much if the kids were around, and he feared that once they left it would be even more difficult to keep his mind from wandering to her.

“Remus,” Molly interrupted his thoughts with a warm hand on his shoulder.
“I was wondering, since Arthur is away on assignment, if you could help me take the kids to Diagon Alley tomorrow. Tonks is coming along, but it would be nice to have you along as well, it would make me feel much safer.”
He could have sworn she gave him a little wink at the mention of Tonks’ name, and his face went slightly pink.

“Of course Molly. I would love to take this lot to get school supplies. I need to pick up a few things myself.”
He sipped his tea and stole a glimpse at Tonks, who was now sporting a long red wavy hairstyle, making her look like another member of the Weasley clan. He was glad she was coming along to Diagon Alley as well; it would give them a chance to be together outside of this house for once. Even if it was just a trip to buy school supplies with a bunch of rowdy teenagers.