Shoulda Been a Slytherin

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters you recognize. J. K. Rowling, brilliant woman that she is, owns them all. I'm just playing with them to pass the time.


Chapter One


My name is Kelsey


I should have been sorted into Slytherin.

Rolling my eyes at the conversation between the two girls walking past, I idley wondered how the British wizarding world felt about silencing hexes. The two twits were giggling and making plans for some sort of fund raiser during the weekend trip to Hogsmeade. With something similiar to a grunt, I shot them a glare, anxious for them to hurry up and pass so that I could work more on my Potions homework.

I'd only been at Hogwart's for about a month. And unfortunately (or fortunately....I hadn't decided yet) I had entered in the middle of fall term. Let me tell you, if I'd known I'd be landed in Goody-Goody Gryffindor house, I would have stayed back in the states.

As it was, my foster parents had been killed in a hit and run accident just shy of my 18th birthday, two months ago. When it was discovered that I had blood relatives that were previously unknown, living in England, I was shipped off. A cruel and unusual punishment for someone who has lived their entire life in the south, but there you have it.

The only good thing about being sent here was that I didn't have to explain my "gifts" to my great aunt. That stuffy old lady already knew, since apparently we were a long line of what she called "purebloods". Well, not me exactly. My mother had gotten pregnant by a muggle, therefore making me a half-blood. Oh, don't be shocked. Despite the fact that I'm from a different continent altogether, the phrases of the wizarding world are more or less universal.

One of the girls...Rose? Lilac?...(hell if I could remember) stopped in mid stride and shot a glare back at me. "Do you have a problem, Kelsey?"

I raised an eyebrow at her cheek. Hhhmmm. Apparently word had gotten around Gryffindor that I'm somewhat of a difficult person to get along with. "Actually I do, Lilac. I'm trying to finish up some homework and that high pitched noise you call "giggling" is getting on my nerves." The blonde huffed and anger flashed through her blue eyes.

"My name is Lavender."

I waved dismissively. "Regardless of whatever plant your parents chose to name you after, you're stilling getting on my nerves and disrupting my studying. So I would appreciate it if you would move along to wherever it was you were going."

I could feel the anger coming off her in waves and sighed. Great. Another asshole to deal with. Laying my quill so that it marked my place in my book, I sat it aside and rose from my comfortable crook in the Hogwart's courtyard. Turning, I looked at her and the other girl...Paint? meh, something that started with a "P", bored. Before anything could happen, I heard a voice shouting down the passage way.

"Oi! Lavender! I was just looking for you!"

I didn't even bother to turn and look, simply kept my gaze on the witch in front of me. Although if you wanted my honest opinion, bitch suited her much better. She turned and her expression immediately softened and she stepped away. "Ron!"

Shrugging, I sat back down and opened my potions book. I saw the red headed boy come jogging up and caught the curious look on his face before he grabbed Lavender and started snogging her senseless. At least I think that's what they call it here. Back home it's called any number of things: tonsil hockey, sucking face, tongue twister. I couldn't have cared less, so long as it shut her piehole.

I glanced up after a few minutes, getting ready to tell them to get a room, when I saw the other girl...Padma, I think is her name...looking at Lavender and Ron with an expression of longing on her face. Scratch that. Looking at Ron with an expression of longing on her face. Well, well well. Wasn't this interesting? I stored away that little tidbit of information for a rainy day. Never knew when you might need some blackmail, now did ya?

The couple finally broke apart and Lavender turned to me, the angry look coming back over her face. "Come on Ron. I have no desire to be around the likes of her." Grabbing the tall boy's arm, she dragged him down the hallway, the Patil girl trailing behind.

I shrugged. So long as I got some peace and quiet, I couldn't care less if no one here liked me. Okay, maybe that's not entirely the truth. It was kind of difficult, going from a wizarding school where you were known as the smartest witch in the last century, to one where everyone looked at you weird when you talked with a southern accent.

Pushing aside those thoughts for a later time, I quickly finished the Potions homework that Snape had assigned. I rather liked the snarky, smartassed Professor. And if I didn't miss my mark, he was of the same opinion as I -- I should have been sorted into Slytherin House. Then again, I'm not a pureblood and I'm sure that had something to do with that ridiculous hat's decision.

I leaned back, soaking up the late afternoon sun and allowed my mind to drift. It wasn't that I wasn't a friendly person...I just choose my friends very, very carefully. I'd had a handful of conversations with several people, including the infamous Harry Potter. He was an alright guy. A little on the "feminine" side if you asked me, but that was none of my business. His two sidekicks, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were a different story. Granger had gotten wind of my intellectual prowess and immediately saw me as a competitor. Weasley, for the most part, was just dumbstruck. Or just dumb, period. As soon as I had walked into the Gryffindor common room, his jaw had dropped and stayed that way for at least ten minutes. I still have yet to figure out why. I've been told on occasion that I'm easy on the eyes, but that's neither here nor there. Like I always say, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm not without my fair share of attractive physical attributes, but I'm not exactly model material either.

My heavily lashed, honey colored eyes I received from my mother, or so I'm told. I'm assuming that my curly raven hair is from my father's side, since according to my great aunt, my mother's family were all blondes. I must have gotten my figure from my dad's side as well, because I'd seen pictures of the women on my mom's side and they were all narrow hipped and somewhat flat chested. I gave a very unladylike snort. Yeah, those were two things I definitely was NOT. I would almost have what the guys at my last school called an "hour glass figure" except that I was a little too thick in the middle. Not fat by any means, but not stick thin either. I suppose that if I'd been taller than my petite 5' 2", then it would have balanced out. But no matter. I wasn't looking for anyone here and it wasn't something that weighed heavily on my mind.

I had been sitting there on that Saturday afternoon, long enough to get drowsy. I felt myself start to drift in the warmth of the sun, when I heard people approaching. I didn't even bother to open my eyes, as I was sure they would pass right by me. I was wrong.

"Well, what do we have here? If it isn't the little Yankee mudblood."

With a deep sigh, I opened my eyes, expecting the shockingly blonde boy in front of me. Draco Malfoy. The self proclaimed "Prince of Slytherin" and "Slytherin Sex God". We'd met only twice face to face. It seemed that young Mr. Malfoy had a dislike of anything that wasn't rich or pureblood. His little verbal jabs meant no nevermind to me, but for some reason today I just wasn't in the mood.

I stood, looking up into the stormy gray eyes and sneering face of the Malfoy heir. Oh yes, I'd heard all about his family's fortune and how much he flaunted it. It's amazing the things you pick up on when no one pays any attention to you.

If at all possible, though, his sneer made him that much more attractive. Yeah, he was pretty good looking. Tall, at least a foot taller than me, broad shoulders, narrow waist and hips. I licked my lips, unconsciously wondering how he would taste. Then he had to go and open his mouth again.

"See something you like, mudblood?" He snorted at this and glanced at his two goons that seemed to follow him everywhere. "As if I would ever sulley my person with filth like you."

Before he could blink, I had out my pocket knife (I never went anywhere without it) and had grasped his hand, pulling it towards me. With the flick of my wrist, I had the blade opened and was slicing a nice little shallow cut along his palm.

"What the bloody hell --?"

As he stared in open mouthed shock at his hand, his face turning from red to white and then back to red again, I calmly took the same blade and sliced an identical cut on my palm. Holding out my hand, I pointed out something I figured would be too obvious for even his idiot henchmen to miss.

"Does it look like mud to you, Malfoy?", I asked, raising one eyebrow. "Our blood is the same color, no darker or lighter red, nor the dark brown you seem to think flows through my veins." Pocketing my knife, I pulled out my wand and did a quick healing spell on my hand, as well as his. Best not lose any more house points than I had already managed to lose. "You'd do well to remember that next time you address me." I grabbed my books and started off, vaguely registering the curses and names being thrown at my back. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise and without blinking, turned and shouted "Expelliarmus!" Malfoy's wand flew from his hand and the look of anger on his face intensified.

"This isn't the last you'll see or hear of me, mudblood. You'll get what's coming to you." his voice was low, almost gravelly and I barely managed to repress the shudder that found it's way down my spine. "You'd better watch your back."

I turned and started back towards Hogwart's, taking only a few steps before I turned back around to see all three of them sending me death looks.

"I just did, Malfoy," I started to turn but had to get in one last jab before I left. "And my name is Kelsey."



~o0o~


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