Narcissa

Chapter One

Last night I dreamt I went back to Manderley again, it was my husbands second English Mansion. His other one was in Wiltshire. But it was the Cornish one that our early stages of marriage had taken place. I missed the old architecture, the archways, and the beams across the ceilings and the paintings in the hallway. Like the ones at my school they played and moved. They moved within each other’s frames with effortless ease. I was afraid at first; I thought I’d have to break down the wards.

But things don’t work like that in dreams do they? In dreams you are powerful, brave, perhaps prettier. In this case in my dreams I possessed a power I could never in my waking moments. I walked through the gates as if I was a ghost. For you can do that in dreams can’t you? Just drift through any barrier.

The driveway was gravelled. Flanked either side by big hefty rhododendrons. I remembered those rhododendrons. They intimidated me on my first visit for I am a shy, rather insecure little creature. I had cut my hair after the war, and had it straightened, now it’s gone exactly the opposite. Lank and lifeless! I supposed it was too much to expect that I’d ever be a beauty. I digress!

I continued up the snake like driveway, it’s twisting and turning leant an even eerier atmosphere to the dream; it seemed to go on forever. Eventually I felt a gust of wind and it moved me closer to my destination. The estate. It loomed dark and dangerous, surrounded by mist and swirling fog that seems to always be in these sorts of dreams.

Entranced I walked to the front of the mansion. I saw the mullioned windows and through them a scene so surreal that I could not in all my life forget it. I saw a flickering fire blaze. It was the only colour in this dream… everything else was wrapped in a Dementors shroud of misty grey. The warmth of the fire spread to the carpet. I wanted to scream and shout! I saw the fire spreading rapidly and eventually the tongues licked up the tapestries on the wall. I was about to grab my wand and cast a freezing charm to stop the flames from devouring the estate. My estate! My home!

The flames were merciless as they spread their eager claws to the rest of the room taking in everything it could in its insatiable hunger. It burnt books, those lovely ancient books that I loved to read, curled up with my Kneazle Jasper, by the very fireplace that was eating the mansion. I heard the blaze roar and I was banging on the windows. Powerless and helpless. I wanted to get this fire away from the rest of the mansion. Too late! The fire burnt into the beams, which crashed. I heard the sound, an ear splitting splintered crash! I saw them fall on the floor as I was forced to step back.

The glass window shattered. Smoke consumed the entire mansion as I stared like a codfish at my home being devoured by fire. By my element! I wished for water, which was my husband’s element. But he was never with me in my dreams, in my dreams I was alone. I sank on the floor and lay on the ground crying. Curling up in a foetal position I cried. I felt the tears and I could no longer control myself – in my dream I screamed!

I woke up in a sweat – screaming and my face having tearstains. I turned and my husband awoke. His beautiful silver grey eyes full of concern. He stroked my hair away from my damp face. He held me in his strong, caring arms and rocked me back to sleep gently. He whispered sweet things in my ear. Soothing things in my ear. I let myself being rocked back and forth like this for a while.

The next thing I knew I woke up and was alone – in bed at any rate. I heard the shower running and knew that breakfast was being laid out in the balcony in our Italian mansion. The one that only one person knew about. My husband stepped out of the shower, his long blonde hair dripping wet. His torso glistening with pearlescent drops of water clinging onto his fine, silvery chest hair.

Ten years had passed since that horrible incident. Ten years and I was still suffering nightmares. I watched my husband towel dry himself. I smiled as his grey eyes sparkled playfully. I knew what he wanted to do. Breakfast certainly was not eggs and bacon at the moment. He crawled over me and gave me a lovely morning passionate kiss. I savoured him. He placed a hand on my breast – then an Owl flew in the window.

My husband’s caretaker had written to him on matters concerning the Wiltshire Estate. He was my ex – Potions Master. Severus Snape had been a loyal friend to my husband since his youth. My husband – if you have not picked up on it by now is Lucius Malfoy – yes I know! How could I have married Lucius Malfoy of all people? Believe me dear reader that is something I could not quite understand at first. But there you have it. Perhaps I could take you back about ten years and let you decide.

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I had finished Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with triumphant scores and no boyfriend. Everyone had thought I was going to end up with Ronald Weasley. I suppose even I had entertained that notion – but the war changed both of us. Ronald found he didn’t need to be just the best friend of Harry Potter The Boy Who Continued To Live Despite All The Odds and Hermione Granger the Girl Who Seemingly Knew Everything. Ronald found he could stand on his own two feet. I was not going to be another Mrs Weasley after I found I could become a Companion to lonely middle aged Witches – organising other people had become habit after hanging around with Harry and Ron. Besides it was a very good opportunity to travel and see the world.

That was what I was doing after school. I soon found a middle aged Witch who was crass, vulgar, irresponsible and a sniping, gossiping bitch. Her name was Mrs Van Hopper. She was one of those Witches who smothered herself with make up and perfume. You knew when she was coming by the smell of her overripe perfume.

I could just hear Snape’s remarks if he ever met her! Subtlety was not one of her strongest qualities, and that is putting it mildly. We were in the Magical part of Monte Carlo – a very expensive hotel. Filled with gaudy gold coloured filigree and white marble. Chandeliers were in every room. And the baths were absolutely amazing… the Prefects bathroom at Hogwarts doesn’t come close. House Elves rendered the services of course. Something, which I didn’t like, but then again they don’t seem to listen.

Mrs Van Hopper was always careful to bring her own Elf as her own Elf knew to leave the most disgusting chores for me to do. Anyway I was sitting in the restaurant – eating my soup and cheese sandwich when all of a sudden my nose got an attack of Van Hoppers perfume. I felt her alcoholic laden breath in my ear.

“My oh my,” she whispered in her American accent.

“What?” I asked.

“Do you know whose just walked in here?” She asked. With my attention on my soup I could not begin to answer.

“No who?” I asked.

“Mr Malfoy!”

I gaped. I looked up and there he was. Lucius Malfoy, he still held an arrogance, despite his change of heart towards the end when he saw his son Draco die on the battlefield. Lord Voldemort had gone crazy by that time and in his madness just killed because people were in the way, regardless.

He was about to sit himself down on a table within hearing distance from us.

“If only I could get him to come over here,” she mused.

“Oh don’t,” I whispered my cheeks reddening.

“What give the poor man a break Miss Granger,” she said. “It’s tragic, the poor man must be lonely. It’s terrible, they say he can’t get over his wife’s death!”

Death? Narcissa had changed her heart too; she’d become a pillar of community. She and Lucius managed to clear their names and attended parties and society functions and rumour had it that she was even expecting another child. How could Narcissa Malfoy have died?

“I don’t think he’ll…” my sentence trailed off as I heard his familiar drawl.

“Miss Granger?” He asked. I looked up. I felt my whole body blush under those grey stormy eyes.

“Yes,” I said.

“Can you introduce me to your friend?” I blushed again.

“Certainly,” I replied. “Mr Malfoy this is Mrs Van Hopper.”

Lucius turned towards my employer and smiled charmingly.

“Do you mind if I take a seat?” He asked.

He had certainly changed. The Lucius Malfoy I first met in Flourish and Blotts would have Apparated well out of the way before any kind of introduction could be made let alone actually wanting a conversation with not just a vulgar, nouveau riche American but a Mudblood like me.

“Smile Miss Granger,” she instructed loudly. “Don’t you know whom your talking to there?”

“She knows,” he answered. He sat back in the chair languidly. He flourished a cigarette case and offered me one. I shook my head mutely. He offered one to my employer. She accepted ungraciously and leant over for him to light it for her. Allowing him a full view of her breasts.

He kept his gaze on me the whole time. He pocketed the cigarettes and lit one himself and then started on that common most tactic British people use when they are in a bit of lumber in the conversation – small talk.

“How do you like Monte Miss Granger?” He asked.

“It’s a bit noisy,” I answered.

“Nonsense!” Hollered Van Hopper. “Most Witches would give their eyes to see Monte!”

“Wouldn’t that rather defeat the purpose?” He answered jovially.

I looked up at him; yes his eyes were still on me. Why? I smiled lightly at his jest, which she seemed to have either not heard – or not understood. I’d go for the latter if I were you. As I said, she weren’t that bright.

The main course had just turned up. Lucius saw the badly cut ham on my plate and frowned.

“Signor,” he snapped.

“Yes Mr Malfoy?” Asked one of the very few humans working in the establishment.
“Do you happen to know whom this young lady is?”

I gave him a warning look; even Mrs Van Hopper did not know I once hung around with the great Harry Potter. That’s the way I preferred it. I liked anonymity.

“No sir,” the Maitre d said.

“This happens to be Miss Hermione Granger, she was one of the key players in the war against You Know Who. Her best friend is Harry Potter! I am sure that such a well connected person deserves better than a badly cut slice of ham.” He turned to me. “What will you have?”

I wished the ground would swallow me whole.

“I – I am happy with this!”

“Poppycock!” Lucius Malfoy exclaimed. “The lady will have what I have just ordered. Take this plate away!”

“Sir!” The Maitre d flushed as he took my plate away.

I wanted to look at everywhere but at him. I caught a look from Mrs Van Hopper. Her mouth was wide open.

“Well, well, you sly thing!” She muttered her eyes narrowing to slits. She did not like the fact that her employee was well connected to such powerful Wizards and she weren’t. I knew I would be punished for it tomorrow morning.

Lucius Malfoy had ordered something, which I absolutely loved. I tried to eat it without too much energy – after all I was hungry. Suddenly just before dessert came Mrs Van Hopper announced she was tired and wanted to go to bed, Lucius got up and helped her up. He then did the same to me. As soon as our hands touched he squeezed mine reassuringly. Whilst Mrs Van Hopper was mucking about with her personal effects he leant over and whispered in my ear.

“Room 401 third floor.”

“Th - Thank you Mr Malfoy,” I stammered.

“Please call me Lucius,” he said.

I looked back into his eyes. There was a solemnity there, which I had never seen before. He was a haunted man.

The morning after Mrs Van Hopper woke up with a cold and a headache. She’d forgotten to pack some emergency Pepper Up and I had run out of my limited supplies. I weren’t sure of that the Pepper Up ingredients was available in the streets of Mille De Vue. The Monte Carlo’s version of Diagon Alley.

“Well it seems you’ve got time off I can’t have you scampering about when I am ill!”

“Yes Ma’am,” I replied.

“I suppose you’ll be talking to your friend?” She sneered. So she knew that Lucius Malfoy and I had a previous acquaintance. “Look child he might be lonely but don’t get your hopes up okay. Hey, if you can get him to come to one of my card parties, you might as well make yourself useful somehow. Just because I have a cold and have to get over it Muggle way doesn’t mean I intend on becoming a social pariah – got that!”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Get out your very presence is boring me!”

I ran out of the room. My heartbeat furiously in my chest not thinking about what I was going to do I was about to go to his room when I heard a sound behind me. I turned around and saw him coming to me. My heart was in my throat.

“Miss Granger might I have the pleasure of your company at breakfast?” He asked, offering me his arm.

“Yes all right,” I answered. I had nothing else to do.

We went back down to the restaurant where the breakfast was laid out like a buffet. It was help yourself. I walked up to the steaming trays and picked out scrambled egg, a couple of slices of toast and some sausage and baked beans. Hardly continental but they catered for their British and American patriots.

“Hungry?” Lucius asked.

“Yes,” I answered timidly.

“Where’s your friend?”

“She’s not really a friend – she’s an employer, I get paid for cleaning up after her, she has a House Elf but that was fairly recent. I mainly clear up after her card parties of which she asked me to ask you to come to one.”

“Dear Merlin no,” he said in all seriousness. “I can’t say I would enjoy that. The woman annoyed me as soon as I smelt her perfume.”

“Why did you come over then?” I asked stupidly.

“I would have thought that would have been obvious!” He whispered dangerously. His grey eyes warmed up to a more Mediterranean blue.

I blushed and began fiddling about with my napkin after swallowing some scrambled egg.

“So where is she?” He asked.

“In bed with a cold, we forgot to pack enough Pepper Up and I had one in Berlin a few months ago, and she never thinks of these things. She’ll have to get it out of her system Muggle way, which can take anything up to a week.”

“So you have time off,” he said.

“Yes,” I answered simply.

“What do you intend to do with it?”

“Investigate some library or other,” I answered.

“I got a better idea,” he replied.

“Yes?”

“Why don’t we get married?”

My jaw dropped, I could not believe Mr Lucius Malfoy was proposing to me after knowing very little about me, and after so short a re-acquaintance.

“I thank you for your act of charity but really -!” I faltered. His eyes held that angry stormy look again.

“Charity be damned Miss Granger,” he said coolly. “I am not asking you to marry me because I feel sorry for you!”

“Then why?”

He smiled a sly, mischievous smile. His eyes lit up with all sorts of mischief.

“Because if I seemed to remember you aren’t stupid and I can see myself with you. I am a Malfoy and we generally know what we want – straight away. When I saw you last night I knew that I wanted you. Besides that woman has ruined you. I don’t understand why you didn’t take a position amongst the Ministry as a Lab researcher. I believe Snape put in a good word for you as well.”

I blushed.

“I wanted to drift away, to forget, I wanted to try and be me.”

“To stand away from Harry Potter?” He queried.

I nodded. How could this man understand? But then he wanted to marry me.

“I wish I was older,” I said.

“What has age got to do with it?” He asked.

“With age comes confidence so I’m told.”

“You were told wrong,” he snapped.

What was wrong with me? A rich handsome man has asked me to marry him and I am wondering why? Of course I would. I was shy. I didn’t belong in his circle of friends. His circle was full of rich people who knew what to eat, what wines to drink, who rubbed shoulders with the other rich knowledgeable people. I would wear him down. He’d get bored with me easily. Yet he WANTED me. It was either marriage or a lifetime of serving Mrs Van Hopper… and as Witches live a long life I could not do it. Perhaps Lucius was right. Perhaps marriage was the only option.

“All right I’ll marry you,” I answered. He smiled and took me in his arms. He picked me up and kissed me in front of all the other diners.

“Thank you,” he murmured brushing aside some of my hair. “Now let’s tell Mrs Van Hopper that I have just terminated your employment.”

I sighed and slumped my shoulders.

“She won’t like it,” I murmured.

I stayed outside the door as Lucius was in there telling her what had transpired that morning. I was biting at my nails making them more ragged and rough than they already were. He walked out of the door and gave my arm a squeeze.

“She wants a word with you,” he murmured. “Then pack your bags we’re going to get married.”

I walked in trembling like a leaf. I saw her wrapped in a shawl, her nose was swollen and red, discarded tissues surrounded her and she was blowing her nose.

“Well you worked fast didn’t you?” She leered.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said.

“You know exactly what I mean,” she said. “I would never have thought of you as a gold digger.”

“I’m not,” I answered mildly.

“Really well then sugar daddy certainly didn’t mention love as the reason that you two are marrying, he confessed to me the whole thing. He said he’s lonely and he see’s you as a way out of it. Like I said he simply can’t get over his wife’s death. Beautiful, she was, elegant, the belle of the ball, how you think you can compare is beyond me. Well go ahead marry the man but let me warn you Miss Granger – it’s not love that’s driven him to this sudden proposal. It’s loneliness!”

I heard the doom in her words. She considered me unequal to him. She saw this marriage as a way out for him. I would not care to admit it in front of her but since I saw him switch sides in the heat of the battle I must admit to allowing a childish fantasy grow inside me for the man. He was the main reason why I wanted to run away. For how could I have fallen in love with a married man? He was the main reason why I could not marry Ronald Weasley.

He was the reason why I am still alive.

A/N Anyone familiar with the plot of Rebecca will hopefully forgive the liberties I am taking with both these great books! I love Rebecca myself in fact it was Rebecca that introduced me to the subtle thrillers I love reading now! Harry Potter included. Anyone NOT familiar with Rebecca why not? It’s fantastic and I hope this makes you read it.

Please review. I love this pairing, almost as much as Snape/Hermione... I love Hermione with a Slytherin!