Tainted Soul

She looked at the letter in her hands and sighed. Hogwarts was calling
her once again and she knew that she couldn’t tell them no this time.
She had been kicked out from all the others. So it was to Hogwarts she
would go and she was now in her seventh year. Though she was almost
18 now she blamed it on the fact that she was caged for the fourteenth
year of her live. It took them a whole year to find out where Voldemort
held her. After that she fled from the world she loved and ran. But they
always found her. “I don’t know about this anymore.”


“What is it that you don’t know about Tear?” Krum asked her.


“I don’t know if I even want to be a witch anymore.” She said to him.


“Tear you are needed her and you are the one that can help pull this
world from darkness. If you leave now it will all be for nothing because
this war will still have darkness settle even if the light side wins which we
both know that it can go either way.” He said to her.


“Why do you do that to me?” She asked before she stood and walked out
of the living room.


She had been staying with the Krums for the last three weeks. It was the
end of summer and she knew that tomorrow she would be heading to
Hogwarts in four days. So she would be going back to the burrow tonight.
She hasn’t seen it in almost three years. Krum walked into her room and
sat down on her bed. “You don’t know why I call you tear do you?”
She looked at him and sighed. “No why do you call me tear?”


“When I look into your eyes I see the unshed tears that you hold inside.
I know that you don’t want them to fall but you must understand that if you
don’t allow them to fall then you will grow cold. Don’t be like them, promise
me that you will never become your mother and father Rose.” He said as he took her hands.


She sat down on his lap and smiled. “You know you aren’t as stupid as
everyone thinks you are. I promise you Viktor that I will not become my parents.”
She leaned in and softly brushed her lips against his and went to pull
away when he deepened the kiss forcing her mouth to open for his tongue.
She melted into the kiss and didn’t want it to end. But she knew that they
would never be. He had his sights set on a certain Gryffindor that only wants
to be his friend. She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. “You
don’t know how much love is in my heart for you but it will never be because I can’t be her.”


She stood and pulled his arms from around her waist. “I will write you when
I get there. I know that you and your parents will be worried until I do.”
He walked up behind her and spun her around. Then he handed her a small
box and kissed her softly on the lips. “I do love her but I love you too. I know
that it isn’t fair that you have to share my heart with another. We both know
that she doesn’t love me. But if you still love me in the end come back to me
Rose. Be my wife.”


He turned and left before she could say anything to him. She packed her things
and walked to the fireplace. She grabbed a large handful of Floo powder and
threw it into the flames. “THE BURROW!” She shouted and stepped into the
flames. She fell onto the floor of the kitchen and was glad that no one was
in there. She looked at the clock and saw that they all were away from the
house. She was glad about that. She walked to the room that she knew
was always hers and put her stuff in it. Then she set out to make them a
dinner they will never forget. She remembered everyone’s favorite’s and sent
money to the store to buy the food that she needed to cook it all.


Three hours later dinner was on the table when the front door opened.
She stood by the table in the shadows as she heard someone walk
towards the kitchen. “Someone is here. George watch Ginny.”
She sat at the table in the light so she wouldn’t get hit with a curse
and looked at the door sadly. She prayed they would want her back
here. She missed them so much. The door flew open and Bill Weasley
stopped himself in mid curse when he saw her. “Rose?”


“Hello Mr. Weasley.” She said softly.


“ROSE!” He shouted happily and ran to her with open arms. She ran
to him and threw herself into his arms and cried. She cried for the
first time in four years. She let the tears wash her anger and pain away.
She was finally home and she was glad.


“Rose is here?” Ron asked from the hallway as everyone raced into the kitchen.
They all stopped inside the kitchen and she looked past him at them.
The looks on their faces weren’t like Bill’s there was hurt, hate and
anger. She backed out of his arms and into the wall behind her. “I shouldn’t
have come here. I am sorry I will be leaving now. Enjoy your dinner.”
She moved to walked out the back door when Harry grabbed her arm and
threw her back into the wall. “You aren’t leaving. You always leave. You run
from us when all we wanted to do was help. We needed to know you were ok.
All we had to go on were the little letters you wrote us. How could you just
disappear like that and have us scared sick about you?”


She pushed him off her and stood to her full height of 5’7. “You couldn’t
help none of you could help. You still can’t help. I had to leave because I
didn’t want to hate you. I didn’t want to blame anyone but myself for this.
I knew it was my fault. I trusted the one person everyone told me not to
and he did this to me. I will never be the same again. A year Harry a year
I was beat rapes and almost killed over and over again. You don’t know
what they did to me and you will never know the details. I felt and still
feel like I am filth because of what they did to me. I disappeared because
no matter how safe I really was here I never felt safe after that. I never
slept while I was here. Hell I still don’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes
I see their faces. I see his face and I want to die. I WANTED TO DIE HARRY!”


She pushed past him and through the others at the door. She raced to
her room and slammed the door. She shouldn’t have come here and
now she knew it. She knew now that it was true you could never go home.
Everyone looked at each other and then the way she ran. Bill went to go
after her when Hermione put her hand up. “She needs to be alone she
said more then she wanted to and she has to deal with it on her own.”


“Look at this meal she made for us. Everyone’s favorites are here.”
Fred said to them.


Rose didn’t come out of her room for the rest of the day and half of
the next day. And no one went up after her. They just went on their
way like she wasn’t even there. Finally Bill got worried and knocked
on her door. When there was no answer he pushed open the door.
She was sitting on her bed with her knees to her chin and her arms
wrapped around her legs rocking back and forth. “You know my own
parents gave me to him. They watched as he cursed me over and
over again. They watched as the others took turns with my body.
They laughed when I cried out in pain and booed when I just took
it without a sound. A whole year they came almost every day and
watched as they did this to me. The scars will be there forever.
Even if they will be taken off there will always be scars on my soul.
I use to think that I deserved what happened to me because
I wasn’t them way they wanted me to be. I believed what they
said to me. That I was a traitor because I had kindness in my
heart instead of hate. They changed that. I do nothing but
hate them all now. I hate the ones that raised me I hate the
ones that raped me. I hate Voldemort and I mostly hate
myself for allowing it to happen in the first place.”


“Oh Rose.” Bill said as he sat on the bed and pulled her to him.


“The face I remember the most is his. Snape’s face haunts me no
matter if I am a wake or a sleep. I know that he was under a curse.
But still I feel the pain and the hate I hold in my heart for him.
Because of him. Now I have to go back and face him. I know that
he is still there. I know that he will try to talk to me and I am scared
that I will try to kill him. I don’t want to but just seeing him will be
hard enough. If he tried to make up for what was done I know that
I will explode.” She whispered into his chest.


“My dear Rose I know that you have so much inside of you that it is
hard to see but your real heart is there. The soul will heal and you
will become stronger because you lived through it all. I know that at
the moment it doesn’t seem like it but it will become less painful. It
will give you the fuel to do great in your life. You will go far because
you faced this large group of evil and lived to talk about it. I know it
is a weak excuse but you have to move past this pain. Start to heal.
Only you can do that no one else can make you.” He said as he ran
his fingers through her jet black hair.


Harry listened and watched from the doorway. He had heard all of it.
He had heard more then he had heard from her in three years now. “
Mr. Weasley um Lupin is here to see you and he smelt Rose. He would
like to see her too.”


“NO!” Rose said as she moved away from Bill and turned her back on them all.
Bill nodded and stood up. Then they left her room and closed the door
behind them. “You heard didn’t you Harry?”


Harry nodded and looked up at him. “I will not say a word.”


“Thank you Harry.” Bill said as they walked down the stairs.


Lupin was in the den when they got to the first floor. Bill and Harry walked
in and he smiled to both of them but when he saw that Rose wasn’t with
them he looked at them in surprise. “She is scared Moony.”


“She has nothing to be scared of from me.” Lupin said to him.


“She still hasn’t gotten through it Lupin. She held it inside and now she
isn’t who she use to be.” Harry whispered to him.


Rose walked to the last step and sat down. She knew that he would notice
that her scent has gotten stronger at any moment. “Bill when did she get back?”


“We came home from the meeting and found her and the great meal that
she cooked waiting for us.” Bill said to him. Both of them watched as Lupin
sniffed deeply and smiled.


“She is close.” Lupin said as he stood up.


Lupin walked out of the den and she stood from the step. They looked at
each other and he knew that she was a tainted soul. He could see it in her
eyes. Her beautiful grey eyes that use to be full of life now stared back at
him with no life in them at all. “Rose, my flower you have grown into a beautiful
woman.”


She hung her head and shook it. “There is no beauty about me Moony.
There never was.”


He rushed to her and lifter her head with his fist. “Don’t ever say that Rose.
Don’t you let them win. You aren’t a quitter and I will not let you quit now.”
She looked into his eyes and felt a tear as it slipped from her eyes. “There
is no helping me now.”


She pulled away from him and walked back to her room. Lupin started up
after her. “Lupin let it be for now when she comes back to Hogwarts we will
do something about this. But for now she will not allow help.”
Rose stopped at the door to her room when she heard the voice.
The dark silky voice that caused her to give into him. He was there
in the house and she was hurting. “The way you used me won’t happen
again Snape and you will never be in the one place I know that you
enjoyed being. You will never be in my heart again.”


She knew that he had heard her. She cold tell by the coldness that
she felt from the stairs. He was coming up after her. He wasn’t going
to take it lying down. She rushed into her room and warded the door so
no one would be able to get in. She then warded the windows and sat
in the middle of her bed shaking. She was scared that he would get in
there anyways. When the door flew open she knew that he would walk
right through. But when he went to walk in he flew across the hall and
into the wall behind him. She didn’t move from where she was on the
bed when he walked back to the door and looked at her. “You and
I will face each other about what happened and you will see that it
wasn’t me that did it.”


“There is no facing anything with you Snape. You made sure of that
along time ago.” She muttered.


He pulled out his wand and tried to unward her room but the wards
she did weren’t in any book. “Just leave me alone Snape. Just leave me be.”


He looked at her and she saw the pain, hurt and the fear that she
would never love him again. “I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t under
the curse. That is why I was put under the curse.”


“Still you did it Snape and I can’t forget that. I cannot give you slack
because you couldn’t stop yourself. I just can’t.” She said to him as
she walked to the door and looked at him.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Welcome back students and welcome first years. On this day we are
here to not only bring new students into our fold but also to welcome
back a student that we lost so many years ago. She will be resorted
and placed where the hat says she should be. Rose Geller please
come to the front.” Dumbledore said to her.


She moved through the first years and walked slowly past the tables.
“The one that was taken. She is back.”


“I heard she was a hooker.” A female voice said from behind her.


“I heard that she joined the dark lord.” A male voice said.


“It really doesn’t matter what you heard because none of it is true.
Until you hear it from my mouth keep yours shut about me.” She
hissed to the ones that were talking about her.


She got to the stool and sat down. When the hat was placed on her
head she felt it going through her mind once again. Now here we are
once again and my dear I must say the last time I was here you were
quite different from today. The pain and scars that you have has changed
you so much but my dear I cannot place you anywhere but the place you
are meant to be and that place my dear is SLYTHERINS!


No wait I cannot go there. I cannot be put in that house. I must be put
back in Gryffindor please don’t do this to me. She pleaded with the hat
in her mind.


Rose you must understand the things you have gone through has
changed your heart. You are hiding the real you that made you a Gryffindor.
The hat said into her mind.


I won’t be like this forever. I will become my real self. Don’t force me to
become a Slytherin. I will not stay here if that is the house I am put in.
I will leave everything behind. She said in her mind.


“I put her in two houses. I place her in Gryffindor and Slytherin.
She will be in them each for two weeks and then she would
choose what house she wants to be in.” the hat said to them.


She took off the hat and looked at it. “I already know where
I am going to be at and you know it. So why make me go through this.”


She didn’t wait for the hat to answer for she knew that it
wouldn’t. She turned and walked down to the tables and
out the doors. She wasn’t even going to stay in there.
She was going to go to the one place she hasn’t been
in four years. She was going to the pond. Everyone in
the hall started talking when she walked out and
Dumbledore looked at Lupin. “Go find her.”


Lupin nodded and walked out of the hall. Her scent
was easy to follow and she wasn’t even trying to hide
from any of them. “You know it isn’t as bad as it seems.”


“You aren’t the one that has to make the choice are
you?” she asked him.


“No I am not and I know that you will make the right
choice. You will know that you are meant to be in that
house. You will know by the month’s end.” Lupin said to her.


“It doesn’t matter Lupin. It doesn’t matter where I belong.
I will never truly belong again.” She said to him.


He sat down beside her and took her hand. “I wish you would
let me in that mind of yours. I wish you would talk about it with me.
I know pain Rose. I know hate and I know Rage. I can help you.”


She turned her head and looked him in the eyes and said. “I know
what it is like to be raped every day for a year. I know what it is like to
have your parents watch as men took your body
again and again. What I have in me is beyond hate pain and
rage. There are no words for what I feel.”


“Did you know that they branded me?” She asked him.


“What do you mean they branded you?”


She lifted her dress up to her hip and showed him her inner left thigh.
There was a mark not of the death eater but of a slave. A slave to pain.
“Sometimes it hurts so bad that I wish I couldn’t feel. Other times I feel
like I deserve that mark. Funny isn’t how so many would want to hurt you
for no reason but being sick people. How they want to degrade you for
choosing the other side. Make you wish you were dead every day and
know that it won’t end until you are found or killed. It’s hard to believe
that I can even smile anymore. I know that it isn’t a true smile but at
least I can make it work for now. I don’t like being this person Lupin.
I am filled with so much of this that I don’t know who I really am anymore.
I don’t know if this is who I am going to be for the rest of my life.”


“We can get that mark removed.” He said to her.


“No you can’t only one person can take it off of me and I
am not talking to him at the moment.” She said to him.

“You mean to tell em that they had Snape place this mark on you?” He asked her.


“Yes they forced him to put it on me. He fought but in the
end he did it anyways. He fought through everything that they
made him do and caused him pain. He caused himself pain for me.
And I can’t forgive him. Why can’t I forgive him?” She asked him.


“I think you can’t forgive him because he fought because he wasn’t himself
when he did this to you. It would have been better if it was him all along.
Then you would be able to hate him and move on. You wouldn’t be fighting yourself about it. You wouldn’t have to
give him forgiveness.” Lupin said to her.


“Why do you always have to be right?” She asked him.


He ran a finger over her cheek and sighed. “I’m not always right I
just happen to know what I am talking about.”


“You know I fell for him don’t you?” she asked him.


“Yes we know and we also know that you have someone else in your
heart now too. Krum if my sources are correct.” He said with a smile.


“I am going to kick his ass if he told you about what happened between
us before I left.” She said with a small smile.


“Oh something happened did it?” Snape asked from behind them.


She tensed and looked at Lupin. “That would be none of your business
Serevus.”


“I make anything I want my business.” Snape said as he pushed
Lupin away from her and got in front of her.


She backed away from him and turned to run but he grabbed her
and pulled her into him. “I told you we would talk face to face about all this.”


“I don’t want to talk to you Snape. I don’t want to forgive you and I
don’t want to be near you. So let me go.” She hissed as Lupin pulled her from him.


“You stay the hell away from her.” Lupin said as he walked her away
from him.


“STUPIDFY!” Snape shouted.


Lupin fell stiff on the ground. Rose turned and looked at him. She put her
hands up and shook her head. “You haven’t changed even if you were under the curse.”


The bubble appeared around her and Lupin. “You might as well give up.
I’m not going to talk to you about this.”


She grabbed Lupin’s arm and started to pull him towards the castle.
“You will talk to me even if I have to force you to.”


“Yeah and that is where you will make your biggest mistake.” She said to him.


A/N this is a sick story that came from my mind. All I own is the plot and Rose and her parents
leave reviews even if you don't like it. I also have a sick mind and if you can't handle it
then you shouldn't read it. You have the right not to read it just as I ahve a right to write it.
The minor is her when she is 14. It tells you what happened through the year that Voldemort
and the deatheaters happened. That will end in chapter 12 so after that there will be
no minors involved.