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Feedback: PLEAAASSSEE! good bad whatever the fuck you feel like saying... I just would like to know! it helpssss meee!!

Author Notes: Im at a bit of a block for this one... i need some ideas... :( itll get there tho.. they always do...

Disclaimer: I dont by any means own these characters... or even all the story... ive taken little pieces from HPOotP and worked them into my story... so.. and no making money!! sadly...








Sirius Black paced slowly back and forth in the drawing room of Number twelve, Grimmauld place. He had a long finger on his chin and his other arm thrown across his stomach. He was deep in thought about the events that happened at the last Order meeting... Snape had said a few things under his breath that made him wonder if he really was on their side. No one else had picked the comments up but no one else had a dogs hearing did they. He had noticed, when Snape spoke of Voldemort, there was a strange glint in his eyes and his mouth curled slightly at the ends. When he spoke of how he was risking his life for the Order there was a laugh in his voice... as if it weren't true. He had a feeling that Snape was playing them all... but he couldnt voice his ideas... or intentions.... to anyone. He stopped pacing and faced the tapestry that hung on the wall. He looked at his family tree with disgust.


"Im the only Black that was going to do something GOOD for once." Days had passed since the last meeting and Snape hadnt been at a single one. When Sirius had asked where he was he had gotten a lot of confused and unbelieving looks, so he hadnt asked again. He was growing more and more impatient as these days passed. Not only did he want to see if his asumptions were correct but he wanted to get out of the house just as badly. His plan was to follow Snape once he returned but he waited and waited and still Snape did not show. So a few days later he decided to ask again.


"Molly... can I ask you something?" Sirius asked as he watched Molly Weasly clean the kitchen.

"Of course!"

"Its about... Snape." Molly stared at him, "No Im not worried or anything I was just going to ask.... did he... die? We've missed him at the last.... well.... alot of the meetings. And his information was crucial...." Molly laughed.

"In your dreams Sirius. Severus isnt dead or on their side either, for that matter. Hes only reporting to Dumbledore now, apparently he cant make it here and back very easily. So when Dumbledore comes to the next meeting he will report all that hes heard from Severus." Sirius cringed... his plans for actually helping... and for freedom... all lost. He nodded and shuffled out of the kitchen. Molly stared at his back with an eyebrow raised before calling to him,

"Dont look so down Sirius... Its like you miss him! Harry'll be here in a few days! Then you'll have someone to play with!" Sirius turned and smiled at her.


"Thanks Molly! Im looking forward to it!" But the truth was that he was not. If Harry saw him and then he disappeared... Harry would be worried... but if he told Harry his intentions.... then Harry would inevitably tell Ron and Hermione and then Hermione would tell someone else who would then track him down and take away all his fun. "you cant go out in public youd be risking your life!" "Voldemort is bound to know youre an animagus now, its to dangerous!" "Dumbledore said to stay here! Think of how much trouble youd be in with him if you left!" they said... but thats what he did... thats all him and James ever did was do things that were dangerous. Things that could get you killed or in as much trouble as possible. Its what had made their life together as exciting as it was. And he longed for that life again. Even if Snape, the only person he loathed apart from possibly his own mother, was the only one who could give it to him. Sirius trudged up the stairs and back into the drawing room where he transformed into 'Padfoot' and curled into a ball. He looked around the room and with a sigh fell asleep on the carpet.


"Sirius!"

"Sirius, mate! Wake up you've been there for hours!" Sirius opened his eyes reluctantly to the constant prodding and urgings of Fred and George Weasly. He growled at them, stood and stretched.

"Ah there now... thats better!"

"Mums been worried sick about you! Said you looked down yesterday and needed someone to play with!" Fred said with a smile. Sirius looked back and forth between the twins and then hung his head. He padded out into the hallway leaving them behind.

"Well I reckon she was right then... he is pretty down."

"I wonder what could be wrong..." George said looking quizzically at Sirius as he walked through the door. Sirius thumped down the steps and sat at the door leading outside. He whined and wimpered but no one seemed to care. So with nothing more to do he went back to sleep.

"SIRIUS GET UP WE'VE GOT A SUPRISE FOR YOU!!!" Sirius opened one eye to stare at George. He was dressed in muggle clothing as was Fred. George was holding a leash and Fred a frisbee.

"We're going to take you out to run a bit... I cant imagine having to stay in this boring old house for as long as you do. So, dont tell mum, but were letting you out... only you have to promise to come back in when we say!" Fred patted Sirius' head. He jumped up and pranced excitedly by the door. The twins smiled and pulled it open. Sirius ran as fast as he could out the door, down the street and back again. If he couldnt get out to follow Snape, he guessed that this was the next best thing. Fred tossed the frisbee as far as he could.

"Dont worry Sirius! Its not fanged!" George called. Sirius lept into the air and caught it with his mouth. He swung his head back around and let it go. It flew back and Fred caught it.
"Wow.... wish I had a dog that could throw the frisbee back...." Sirius went and rolled around in some flowers. He liked being a dog sometimes better than being a man. Maybe he would do as Peter had done. Find a nice family to take him in and just stay as a dog.

"That wouldnt be a very wise idea..." A low monotonous voice said. Sirius stood and looked up, right at Snape. Dumbledore appeared behind him.

"I think that Severus is right about that one.... we need you here."

"To do what exactly?" He growled angerly at them. Snape sneered and started towards the house.

"To look pretty." He said with a smirk. Sirius growled louder.

"Now now Sirius. Come on... we have much to talk of at this meeting. Its getting dark too so lets head inside." Dumbledore said patting his head. Fred and George looked at Dumbledore as though they were waiting to be smacked.

"Thank you boys for giving him a little free time... but next time do ask someone first..." He walked inside.

"Yes sir." they said as they followed. They held the door open for Sirius who walked inside, although it was obvious he did not want to. He went into his room before he transformed back. He grudgingly changed his dirty clothes and washed his face. It was when he was buttoning his pants that he realised.

"Snape.... he came back! Yes!" Sirius bounded down the stairs and into the kitchen where they were holding the meeting.

"Well... you look a million times better!" Molly said staring at Sirius' wide smile. She glanced at Severus and wondered if that was why he was so happy.
"I got to go outside! Of COURSE Im happier!"

"Oh really.... and when did this happen...?"

"Fred and George took him out for a bit as a dog... Severus and I came across them on our way here." Molly immediatly moved out of the kitchen... probably to go yell at Fred and George.

"Be easy on them Molly! It was a good thing they did."

"Yes... good if you want Sirius dead... good if you want him to be found out..." Snape said narrowing his eyes.

"If I didnt know better Id say you sounded a bit concerned." Sirius said coldly glaring at Snape.

"Not for you.. for the order." Snape said. Sirius raised an eyebrow, he could have sworn he saw him blush.

"What are you looking at?!" Snape demanded.

"Nothing Snivellus" Sirius turned away, propped his feet up on the table and listened to everyone talk. He threw his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. They were waiting for the rest of the members to show, so he might as well take a little nap.

"Sirius.... Sirius is that all you do? Sleep all day?" Sirius opened one heavy eyelid on the upside face of Remus Lupin leaning over him. Lupin smiled and sat in the chair next to him.
"I swear everytime I get here youre asleep somewhere. Last time it was in the fire ash...."

"Well what else have I got to do Remus? Clean?! No way... I dont like this house that much."

"Well you could do it for US.... we have to stay here too... and Im allergic to dust!" He gave a very violent sneeze and glared at Sirius.

"Alright... Ill try to clean a little bit... but only cause that looked like it hurt." He said with a laugh.

"Everyone please pay attention!" Dumbledore stood and silenced the room. Sirius sat up and listened, but couldnt wait until the meeting was over so he could put his plan in motion.


* * * * *


The meeting had just ended and Sirius stretched and watched Tonks pounce out of the room. He had no sooner put his hands back at his sides when there was a loud crash.

"That'll be Tonks over the umbrella stand again..." Lupin sighed.

"Yes and that means my mum is soon to foll...." There was a loud blood curddling screech.

"Yes there she is now...." Sirius ran out of the room and grabbed the curtains that were supposed to be covering up his mothers portrait.

"Shut up, you horrible old hag, shut UP!"

"YOOOUUU!!!" She howled, "blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!"

"I SAID.... SHUT.......UP!" Sirius roared as Lupin came running out to help with the curtain. The both of them manged to get it shut thus shutting up the painting. Sirius turned to the door and saw Harry there.

"Hello Harry... I see you've met my mum...."

"Your..."

"My dear old mum, yeah."

"But whats a picture of her doing here?" Harry asked.

"No one told you...? This is my parents house. But as Im the last Black left its mine. Ive offered it to Dumbledore ot use as headquaters... about the only useful thing Ive been able to do..." 'Until now....' he thought.

"Hey Harry... are your things upstairs already?"

"Yes Ive been here for a bit waiting for the meeting to finish..."

"Oh I was gonna offer to take them upstairs... oh well... They need to see you in the kitchen."

"Right..." Harry went into the kitchen and Sirius snuck upstairs. He entered Ron and Harrys room to find it empty save for Ron and Harrys things. 'Perfect,' he thought to himself, 'I just have to find it...' He rummaged through Harrys trunk trying not to mess things up to bad. He found it near the bottom... Harrys, or should he say James', Invisability Cloak. He stuck it in his pocket and walked into the bathroom. He pulled a bottle of bleach from the cabinet and poured it into the bathtub.

"Oh my... this is going to burn I bet...." He transformed into a dog and looked over the edge of the tub. He cringed at the smell but closed his eyes and jumped in. He rolled around for a bit and then jumped back out. He could feel the bleach burning his skin but it wasnt as bad as he thought it would be. He sat and waited for what seemed like forever. Sirius jumped onto the toilet and looked in the mirror above the sink. His fur had turned a pure white colour. He grinned and jumped back down. He turned back into a man and pulled the plug from the tub. He transformed once more and washed himself off that way, it was always more thourough when he was a dog. He changed back into a man and dried off.


"Now... as long as my hair isnt white as a man... everything will be perfect." He closed his eyes and stepped in front of the mirror. He let out a deep breath and opened them.... still black. He laughed and after clothing himself, ran down the stairs for dinner, more happy than he had ever been recently for tonight he would get out and do something worthwhile. All through dinner he would sneak glances at Snape waiting for him to rise and say he would leave. But Snape stayed all through dinner... and even longer, way past the time when all the children and most of the adults were asleep. Which for Sirius... was perfect.


* * * * *


"Be careful out there Severus..." Dumbledore told Snape as he was leaving.

"I will try... and tell Fred and George to keep Sirius inside."

"But why deny him what little freedom he has? You wouldnt like being holed up in this house alone for as long as he has been and will be."

"No... but should he get caught... who knows.. he might crack like Pettigrew."

Sirius who was in dog form and under the invisiblity cloak wanted to growl. He would never do such a thing.

"Well Ill tell them to keep a sharp eye on him then."

"Thank you... no one needs that mongrel running around anyway." Snape gave Dumbledore a little bow and walked out the front door.

"Again... Be careful Severus." Dumbledore said out the door. Sirius slipped by him and out into to night. Dumbledore hadnt suspected a thing. Sirius followed Snape as quietly as he could to the end of the road. Snape looked around and Sirius realized he was going to Apparate.

'Oh no... how do I pull this one off....' he thought to himself. He got as close to Snape as possible and bit his pants leg as hard as he could. He felt the pressure of being squeezed and released and opened his eyes on another street. 'This is all happening to easily to be true!' he thought. He glanced at the street sign, 'Spinners end? Where are we...' He padded after Snape until they reached the very last house and watched as Snape entered. Sirius decided to wait until later before trying to get inside. So he curled up under the nearby bushes and watched as all the lights in Snapes house went out. Sirius pulled the cloak off of himself, dug a hole and buried it inside. It would be safe there until he needed it back. He crossed his front legs and laid his head down, waiting for something to happen. It must have been hours later, in the darkest parts of the morning, that Sirius awoke. He hadnt even realised hed fallen asleep. He shook his head wearily and looked up at the house to see what had woken him. The light in the bottom window of the house was on and Sirius could see Snape sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. Sirius cocked his head to the side and stared at him confused.


"Snapes having trouble sleeping? Is he... crying?" Sirius put his front paws on the window cill and gazed inside. Snape lifted his head and looked directly out the window at Sirius. Sirius jumped down and ran back to the bushes. He watched as Snape opened the door and looked around outside. Sirius could see the tears still falling from his normally cold eyes. They werent so cold looking now. Sirius edged out of the bushes while keeping an eye on Snape.


"Come here dog... I wont hurt you I promise." Snape said beckoning to Sirius. There was alot of hurt in Snapes voice as he said those words. Sirius didnt understand... why was Snape so depressed... and why did he, Sirius, care? He couldnt stop himself from walking to Snape... he didnt like the way Snape sounded.... he wanted it to go away. He walked cautiously forward waiting for Snape to throw his foot out and kick him or something of the sort. Snape only whistled and patted his knees.


"You look like you could use some company, and I know I could. I have food." Sirius had never heard Snape talk this way. His voice was kind and held feeling. Sirius stretched his nose out and cringed as Snapes hand came out to touch it.

"Come on dog... Im not going to hurt you." He patted Sirius' nose and moved up to rub his head. Sirius closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, like any dog would. Snape backed up and held the door open.

"Come on! Ill feed you, lets go." Siruis trotted through the door waving his tail happily. He sat at the foot of a staircase and waited for Snape to bolt the door in several places. 'well... isnt that curious' Sirius thought to himself looking at all the locks. Snape turned and walked into the ktichen, Sirius followed.

"Well arent you a a pretty colour." He said putting some food in a bowl, "What should I call you...?" He sat the bowl down and Sirius ate it happily. This Snape was much better than the other one, nicer... more human. Sirius felt completly at ease with this Snape. He finished his food and went to sit at Snapes feet by the fireplace. Snape was sitting in a chair pulling long thin white hairs from his temple and placing them all into a huge stone basin he had sitting on a stool. 'A pensieve...?' He thought as his head cocked sideways.


"Now then... what to call you..." Snape stared at Sirius a moment before saying, "Eclipse.... I always wanted a dog when I was a kid and every puppy I had I named Eclipse. And every single one of them my dad drowned in the pond out back. Maybe it'll stay with you... maybe... or else it might be bad luck..... what do you think?" Sirius barked happily. He wanted to try to keep the name. Sirius stared at Snape, urging him to talk more of his past with his eyes. Snape looked down and scoffed.


"What? You want me to keep talking? Well Im not so pathetic as to talk to a dog... or am I? You do seem to understand me. Maybe you can help me out of this depression." Sirius nudged his leg and stared more intently at him.

"Oh all right. I am how I am because of my parents... Im cold... heartless... nothing. All because... of the torturous beatings from my father every night, the constant blaming from my mother. I had a horrible childhood. I would rather my parents were dead. But they didnt die. My only escape from them was school... but even there... that arrogant son of bitch... James Potter. What did I ever do to him... what did I ever do to him...." Snapes hands had covered his eyes. His body was shaking with sobs. Sirius was mortified on the inside. Sirius licked Snapes elbow and whimpered. Snape uncovered his tear streaked face and look at the dog.


"You can understand cant you... well thats fine by me... finally someone wholl listen and not judge. Should I go on then?" Sirius yipped and laid his head on Snapes knee. Snape stroked Sirius' head and kept going.

"Anyway... like I said... in my only escape from my horrible home, I had to deal with the arrogance of James Potter and his friend who I wondered sometimes if he was worse.... Sirius Black. They tormented me for no reason whatsoever. They knew nothing more about me than that I was in Slytherin House and had an odd obsession with the dark arts. The only reason I was obsessed was because my father told me to be. And when youre brought up a certain way you stay with that way for a while. If James had had a father that had taught lessons like mine he wouldnt have been as big headed as he was. I vividly remember calling Lilly Evans a mudblood... but not because I knew it was an insult... but because I was simply brought up that way. Because of my father telling me what to think I soon developed a mind of my own. I kept in the dark arts because they really were fasinating and I would have loved to use them on my family. But the reason I joined the deatheaters... THAT was because of James and Sirius. I wanted nothing more than the utmost revenge on them... just as I did my parents. But it was the stupidest mistake I ever made. After hearing that damn prophecy and promising Dumbledore not to tell the Dark Lord I couldnt stop being on his side. But being a Deatheater... I couldnt stop being on the Lords side either. I was torn. I wanted desperatly to be rid of the situation but... if I tried to run... I would be tortured... just as my father and mother had done... and thats the last thing I wanted. So now here I am.... stuck in this horrible position. I dont know whos side to take or what to do and whats worse..." His voice broke, "Whats worser than worse is that Im starting to realise that the one person I hate... I never actually hated... but I couldnt deal with my true feelings until now. I really did hate them... but... I dont think you can hate someone that much... without loving them first. And I think the hate I feel... came from the feelings of betrayl long ago. And I hate how I sound like such a sap but I hate more how I cant act upon my new found feelings... If I were to revel them... both sides would be against me. And I would end up dead anyway. I wish I could just be my cold apathetic self... I wish I didnt have to think so much. Im so lonely now I cant stand it. I hate this war but Im smack dab in the centre of it. I want someone to listen... to be here with me through this. But I cant have that... not me... not Severus Snape." He slumped foreward in his chair. Sirius stared at the floor in disbelief. He had no idea he and James had caused so much trouble for Snape. He had no idea that they had been the ones behind all this. Sirius was ashamed of himself. Ashamed of James' behavior and even more of his own. Sirius had never once quesstioned James as to why they hated Snape. They just did. It was horrible but true. Snape stood and waved his hand, the lamp light was extinguished and he walked slowly upstairs. Sirius curled up on the rug and watched the last of the coals smolder out.


"No boy... you can come sleep on my bed." Sirius' ears perked up. 'thats a bit odd.... but any normal dog would do it...' He followed Snape upstairs and into his bedroom. The lights stayed off but Sirius could see that Snape was changing into his dressing gown. Snape finished and climbed into bed. He rolled the covers down and patted the space next to him. Sirius lept onto the bed and folded his legs underneath him. He laid his head next to Snapes arm and licked his hand. Snape was still shaking with sobs but Sirius didnt know what to do.

"At least someone cares boy..." Snape scratched Sirius' head and rolled over. Sirius thought about everything he had heard while drifting off. His lasts thoughts before falling asleep were, 'I wish I could tell James everything... but would he care...?'

* * * * *


Weak sunlight filtered through the heavy curtains that surrounded Snapes room. Sirius woke slowly and yawned. He blinked at the room around him and rose. He stretched his front legs out then his back legs. The memories from the night before hit him as he lept off the bed onto the floor. He felt so horrible that he didnt think he would be able to do anything but sit around and think. He wanted nothing more but to apologize for his behavior in school... but he knew, even if he could, it wouldnt take the years of damage away. He sighed and contemplated leaving... just trusting Snape and giving up this greedy scheme. But then how would Snape feel if he were to come home and his new friend had abandoned him? Sirius decided to stay... he wanted to know more. And perhaps by listening... he could help Snape get over those bad times. Of course he would never know that Eclipse was Sirius... he couldnt... or it would cause even more damage. Sirius growled and padded back and forth through the living room. The sunlight got brighter and brighter as he waited for Snape to get back. He grew restless and found things to chew on while he waited but as he started gnawing a chair leg a noise came from the other side of the door. His ears perked up and he bounded gleefully to the door. But the door didnt open. Instead a flash of light was seen from the cracks and the door exploaded inward. Sirius backed away and jumped behind the couch. Four tall figures in capes walked through the door, each of them going to a different section of the house. They tore it apart, looking for something. They went through everything imaginable before silently casting spells to reorder the house. The slender figure came down the stairs and removed her hood. Sirius gasped inwardly. Bellatrix Lestrange, his cousin, stood eyeing everything with a sneer.


"Theres nothing here to use as evidence. But I'm telling you hes playing us. Severus Snape isnt really on our side. He's only posing." A deep gruff voice came from the next hooded figure.

"Well I think hes on our side. As youve seen theres nothing here proving otherwise." He walked through the broken door and and popping sound indicated his appiration. Bellatrix still wore her sneer and scoffed.

"It smells like dog in here...." She strode through the door with the other two in her wake. Once outside they repaired the door and apparated. Sirius slunk out from behind the moth eaten couch and jumped up at the window sill. They were all gone. He wondered how in the world he would tell Snape of this breakin... after all he had no voice and no opposable thumb. But there was one thing he could do. Sirius ran upstairs to the bathroom and turned the water on. He could get rid of that dog smell. He didnt think he smelt but then again he was the dog. He poured shampoo in the tub and hopped in. He rolled around and used his paws to rub it in best he could. After an hour and swimming around the tub Sirius still hadnt thought of a way to tell Snape what had happened. He blew bubbles underwater and then closed his eyes, letting the still warm water soak his fur. He was so relaxed by the water on his face he hadnt heard the door open or footsteps across the bathroom floor. Sirius was yanked upward by the scruff of his neck. He looked around in alarm and his eyes settled on Snapes concerned frown. When Sirius looked at him Snape sighed in releif. He stood and pointed a finger at Sirius.


"Bad boy! Dont you EVER scare me like that again..." He looked angry. Sirius bowed his head and stared at Snape with his huge eyes, just like any puppy being scolded. Water pooled on the floor from his fur. He never shook, he always let his fur air dry. Snapes anger faded and he grabbed a towel. Kneeling he proceeded to dry Sirius, who was surprised by the gentle way he did this. Snape grabbed a blow dryer from under the sink and pluged it in. He grabbed a brush and brushed Sirius as he dried his fur. The entire time Sirius amused himself with thoughts of why Snape of all people had blow dryers and brushes. He pictured Snape standing at the mirror blowing his hair dry with his hip jutted out like a girl. He wished he could laugh but he was a dog. When Snape was finished Sirius shook and ran down to the living room and howled. Snape followed and stared at him in confusion.


"Whats wrong? Did something happen?" Snape asked. 'well... thats a good start' thought Sirius as he pondered what to do next. He went to his book shelf, searched for, found and pulled down a magical book that kept the names of all the wizards and witches as they were born. He carried it to Snape and urged him to open it. Snape did, but to the J's. Sirius needed the L's. He barked and Snape raised an eyebrow.


"uhhhm...", Snape blinked and turned the page, "is this what you want?" Sirius yipped and wagged his tail. Snape raised an eyebrow but sat down. Sirius bounded up beside him and nuzzled his arm, making him turn another page. Sirius barked again.

"This is rediculous! okay how about this, Ill say the alphabet and you bark when i get to the right letter." He proceeded to sing his ABC's until Sirius bark on the L.

"Alright... L. Whats the second letter." He went again, this time stopping on E. And they did it once more before Snape found the page with Bellatrix on it. Sirius stamped a paw down on her picture and yelped. He ran to the door and acted what had happened out as best he could. When Sirius started tearing up the kitchen Snape stood and glared at him.

"what are you getting at?!" He hissed. He flicked his wand and everything went back to normal. Sirius whined and put a paw on ths picture again.

"Are you saying.. that Bellatrix was here? And she... destroyed my house?" Snape put a hand on his chin as he thought and Sirius wagged his tail to show he was right.

"Did she have anyone with her?" A bark. "How many?" Three barks. "So she came with three others to find something... but what was she looking for?" Snape shook his head and patted Sirius'.

"you really are a smart dog..." Snape smiled even tho he was troubled at the news of Bellatrix.


* * * * *

continued in Chapter 2--- up now