Remember

Remember

I started this as just a one-shot, but I’m making it longer. Or attempting to, I guess is more accurate.

Summary: It’s after 5th year. (no HBP spoilers-AU I guess?) I suck at summaries. Um, Harry is starting his 6th year craving something more than what his life has been in the past. Can Draco fulfill his need?

Rating: R, for now. NC-17 in the future.

Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy (or anything else that you recognize). If I did, the movies would not be suitable for children. Or parents. Just people like me (and hopefully you, or else why are you reading this? Why are you even in this part of the site?) that think Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy should have lots of yummy gay sex, because it’s hot.


Chapter 1: I dream of angels…

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The way the sun sets on a July evening really makes me miss the things I’ve never even had. Like my parents. And love. And a normal life.

Because growing up as a slave to the only people in the world that are supposed to care about you, and then entering a world where everyone loves you because you’re Harry Potter, savior of the whole goddamned wizarding world, doesn’t exactly make one satisfied with their life.

All I know is that being Harry Potter is not all it’s cracked up to be. And I wish it was, I really do. Because I dream of angels, but I live with demons.

“Boy, get down here and make dinner!” Uncle Vernon calls to me from downstairs. I just sigh and get up, closing my window and praying that Hedwig doesn’t come back while I’m away, because if she comes in through another window I can count on at least two beatings and a week without food. And while eating what the Dursley’s have me make myself isn’t the most enjoyable past time, it’s better than sucking in air as your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Although is it something that would do my cousin Dudley some good. I try not to gag as I see him at the dinner table. If possible, he grew even more this summer than last. So much for Aunt Petunia’s diet.

“Hurry up, boy! Stop daydreaming,” Aunt Petunia says now as I walk further into the kitchen. I cook dinner quickly, eat quicker, and tell them I’m going to my room for the night. Uncle Vernon grunts to acknowledge that they heard me, and I go upstairs.

I wish that I could go live with Sirius.

Not that Sirius is alive. I keep having to remind myself of that.

Being dead is better than being here though, a small voice says to me.

It’s not like I am suicidal; I’m not going to kill myself or anything. And give Voldemort free reign? Yeah, right. But I really hate it here so much that I might do something drastic -- like, say, use magic outside of school as an underage wizard?

Wouldn’t they all just love that?

I wish that I could just be…Harry. Just Harry. I wish that someone saw me as who I am, not what I am. Because I know what I am, and so does everyone else. They know that I am a good looking boy that has to kill Voldemort because if I don’t, we’ll be at war for Merlin knows how long and hundreds, thousands of more people will die, and it will be all my fault.

But who I am. Sometimes I don’t even know. I just wish that I could sit down with someone and have a conversation with them, and not have to worry about revealing too much and not trusting them; I don’t want to talk to people about Voldemort and lessons and quidditch anymore, although those are fine topics, or not just those. I want to explore my own mind and get to know someone else and have someone like me for who I am.

I just want to find something better; there has to be something better out there.

Someone.

Who I belong with. That’s all I want.

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Sorry for the shortness. Hopefully the rest will be longer.

“I dream of angels, but I live with demons.” is from a Law and Order: SVU episode I saw once.

Reviews, please.