English summer rain

*Disclaimer:Like many before me , I am just borrowing*


//Always stays the same, nothing ever changes//

She didn’t usually stay at Grimmauld Place more than one night , as she had her own apartment , but luck would have it that right now Moody was busy putting protective charms around each member of the Order’s house or apartment .After they battled the Death Eaters at the Ministry at the beginning of the summer , they had been exposed , and now they were all in danger. One solution would have been if they had all moved the Grimmauld Place but somehow ,after Sirius’s death the place was even more dark .It seemed more like a tomb and the only moments is was slightly more full of life was when the Order had meetings . They had just had one particularly long and tiring meeting so she thought she would spend the night there, as most of the others did. All except Dumbledore of course, he was much too busy talking tom ministry officials , to people from newspapers and generally trying his best to keep the magic community from panicking over Voldemort’s return .Unfortunately she didn’t exactly know the location of the room , so she just knocked at random ones. Some were locked , an in some she could already hear the people inside snoring .Leave it up to her to be the last to go to bed .As she knocked on the next door on her way she found it was open , and she entered. It seemed to be empty , but it was too dark to tell .Somehow she could feel someone else there . She heard a soft voice call out to her :

“Tonks. It’s you right?”

“Remus?”

“Yes and I’m afraid you’ve caught me at a very bad time.”

She tried to figure out where he was, and then she saw two bright eyes shining from a distant obscure corner . The shades were down and some things in the room seemed to have been thrown around, like someone had had an aggressive rage . Of course….. it was almost fool moon time , and in this particular period he was more violent , and sometimes he couldn’t control himself and his actions.

“I’m sorry for walking in like that, I was just trying to find my room because I was the only one left after dinner , and since I don’t really now my way I was just randomly knocking on doors and…”

She stopped as she heard him give a low moan of pain.

“Remus ? She said concerned .You have taken your potion right?”

“Yes I have but right now I would suggest not coming closer.”

Her eyes had got adjusted to the darkness and she could see that his clothes were ripped in some places. He seemed to be in pain, although during their meeting he hadn’t shown any sign of not feeling perfectly well. She had never been afraid of him. She knew that even if werewolves forgot their friends when they transformed, if he had taken the potion he would not harm her. She got closer trying to help him off the ground, but he gave a small scream as she neared him. His face was different .She had never seen him half-way through his transformation .

Just then he abruptly pushed her away .He was strong and she almost fell .He only told her in a different tone , to get out fast . She did not run ,however .She felt the strange urge to get closer again. “She’s going to try and comfort me , she’s pitying me.” He thought sad. He did not like people trying to be nice while he was just like a monster. This time he went gathered the strength to stand up and went amazingly fast to her , caught her wrist with power and literally shoved her out the door . He then closed it , and she heard footsteps walking away , and then a bump as something fell to the floor.


//Hold your breath and count to ten,
And fall apart and start again,//


She leaned against the wall , feeling sad …in fact she was more than saddened and it was mostly because he had pushed her away like that. It was true they had grown to be quite close the past year almost , and they had know each other for some time. She had been busy at the ministry all year long , and he was doing as much work for the order as his condition allowed him. Yet , when they met for meetings or when she just came by , they always talked among themselves. They were contrasting characters .He was reserved , somewhat more cerebral than her . She was well know for being clumsy , although he seemed to be amused by her . All these differences between them seemed to make her long for him . At first she liked only his company. They used to laugh for hours at a time , just two good friends .That was until that night at the ministry .It all changed afterwards. He was mush more distant and he avoided her , and people in general. If only he knew .She should have had the courage to tell him earlier that somewhere along the way she had begun to feel different towards him. She only noticed it one night , after a short meeting they had a lot of time left . Everyone was at dinner , and they all seemed happy. Sirius was still alive and the house seemed filled with life . She had not recognized to herself that she saw Remus as more than a friend up until when they sneaked out of the dinning room and upstairs. He wanted to show her a particularly noise painting of oen of Sirius’s ancestors that they had not been able to put down yet. Remus had told her that whenever someone entered the room something strange happened .Like the painting was muttering a spell or something. He told her to brace herself as they entered the room . He tried to tell her to hang on but she heard an incantation and suddenly she was hanging upside down. The sensation was mind blowing as she felt he blood rush to her face. She was starting to feel sick , from all her blood going to her head , and dizzy as she was, she reached for Remus to hold.

“Crazy feeling ,isn’t it?” he smiled.

She tried to nod but now she was really starting to feel ill , and when she thought she would faint , Remus cast a spell , and they both fell to the floor. She was still pretty shook up , and was still holding tightly to Remus. Only then did she comprehend that he was somehow half on top of her. It was the first time she had such close contact with Remus, and suddenly something seemed to snap back into place. His weight on her felt so good, and so did his warmth. She thought she would be courageous an hold him in his place above her, but she was too weak and he got up, slightly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry for that Tonks, wasn’t really expecting you to feel that sick. We were quiet amazed the first time we discovered it. I though you would like the feeling. “

“I did …” she said , not referring to floating upside down ,though.

“Still, I’m sorry to have hurt you when we fell . You just seemed like you were going to faint back there, so I had to chant the reverse spell”

If only she could have told him then and there that the only thing she minded was that the contact was too brief, maybe she wouldn’t feel so down right now. It was then, at that moment that she truly saw Remus as a man , not just a friend , but a man that felt so good when he was around her. They never shared such close proximity, though .He was a bit awkward for a while, believing she was offended by the way he fell on top of her. But it had all passed for him, and every time they met, they would chat and laugh as usual. If only it had been different …if only Sirius was there. Remus had mourned his loss for a while, that was the period that he really didn’t let anyone past his shell .Afterwards, he started to blend in again , only he didn’t feel ready for a new friend .He was nice as usual, but she longed for the good old conversations they had.

Tonight , when she walked in on him , she thought that maybe she could stay up late with him , just like the old days .Unfortunately the timing couldn’t be worst. He had always kept away from people during full moon .That was he first time she had seen him transforming. He seemed so exposed to her, naked beyond a physical type of unclothing. If he only knew.

She jabbed her fist in the wall , and didn’t immediately register the pain it caused. She was angry with herself for being too scared to tell him earlier. She knew that after he recovered he would feel awkward towards her . She just knew him too well. A tear gently escaped her eye and ran down her cheek . She wasn’t going to start crying in the hall like that. After all , she was Tonks, ever so happy and full of life. She just bit her lip and wiped her tears , and started walking to Mrs. Weasley’s room. She would wake her up , apologize and ask about her room so she could try and get some sleep. She cold just imagine him on the floor, in pain , maybe right now he need someone close to him . She wished it was her…


//Always stays the same, nothing ever changes//

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Well.....there it is *blush* Hope you enjoyed it .Just ecourage me a little so I know I\'m not alone here ........pleeeeeeeeeeeease