The importance of Being Virginia

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Chapter One


The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep- Robert Frost



She turned slowly, when she heard his voice. The soft caressing tones as familiar as her own. She looked up into to deep brown eyes, no matter how much older and taller she got, he always towered over her, like he had the first time.

"Virginia."

She twitched so violently that she thought that she surely must have hurt herself. No one called her that. Everyone had always called her Ginny. That's who she was. She wasn't this Virginia. Virginia was someone who wanted this beautifully dark boy, wanted to take his darkness inside her. It was Virginia that became powerless in his presence. Virginia that walked toward him now, like some reverent child. It was Virginia's breath that caught as he slipped off his robes. Virginia that admired the hard planes of his chest.

"Touch me, Virginia," he said coaxingly, as his hand came up to cradle her cheek.

The thin brown fingers were soft against her pale cheek, but she knew that they could hurt her just as easily, knew it all to well.

"You know I won't." That was Ginny. She still had a little power over Virginia. Enough that she would never touch him. But not enough that she would try to stop him. Never enough for that.

He smiled as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. Sometimes she was sure he could, but refused to believe it. She coul, no, not and stay sane. He had known her thoughts once, known all her wishes and fears, and he'd nearly destroyed her.

He sighed, sliding his hand down to the first button of her white dress shirt. "It's always the same with you, even after all these years, all the hundreds of times we've been together. You're so stubborn. That's why I picked you. It's no fun breaking someone if they give in right away."

"If you're so bored with my monotonous actions, why don't you leave?" There was no pleading in her voice, Ginny wouldn't let there be.

"Not boring Virginia, never that." He unbuttoned the last button and stood back, letting his gaze roam lazily over her. When he reached her bra, he stopped his appraisal, smiling as he looked into her eyes. He came closer, one hand sliding under her shirt to the bare skin of her side, his thumb rubbing lazy circles over her bellybutton.

She kept her hands clenched at her sides. She wouldn't touch him, no matter how much she wanted to, but she couldn't stop her body from trembling, she never could.

He trailed his other hand down the edge of her shirt, stopping when he reached her bra. "Tell me, Virginia," he said while running his fingertip along the cup of her bra. "Why always plain white cotton? Is it you who does it, in some desperate attempt to cling to the last shreds of your innocence? Or is it my desire to taint something pure and innocent, over and over again?"
She drew in a sharp breath. She hated when he talked like that. As if he had control. As if he were a real person, with the power to do what he wanted, instead of just the nightmare that she knew he was. "You have power over nothing here. You have only the power I give you. You're just in my imagination. You can do nothing but what I let you do. You're nothing, you're not real."

He grabbed the edge of her shirt pulling her body hard against his. His breath was warm against her ear as he whispered. "Say it enough and maybe you can convince yourself. But remember this. If you have the power, then everything that happens, you want to happen. What were about to do, what we've done a hundred times, is what you want. You want it and you want me."

He ripped off her shirt, pushing her to the floor.

She lay there, against the cold stone floor her hands clenched. "I don't want you. I hate you." But even to her own ears it didn't sound convincing.

"It may be true that you hate me, my dear Virginia, but we both know you want me."

The ease with which he slipped into her later proved him right, she had to bite her lip to keep back the moans, and they weren't of pain, but she'd die before she gave him the satisfaction of hearing them. When she bit her lip so hard that it bled, he smiled as he licked up the drop that welled on her lip. He leaned forward and bit her lip, causing more blood to well up, which he again licked up like it was drops of honey. He might have continued with this game all night it he hadn't glanced down and seen the blood running from her clenched fists. He raised her fist to his mouth slowly lapping up the blood. With a littoan oan he leaned his head back, eyes closing with pleasure. "You always give me pleasure beyond imagination, Virginia," he said as he leaned over to kiss her, and with one last thrust drove them both to a blinding climax.


Ginny woke to a rush of wetness between her thighs, arching her back, she let out the moan that she wouldn't in the dream. She lay back, in a tangle of sweaty sheets. She clenched her hands, trying to slow down her rapid breathing. It had never been like this. It had never seemed so real. She looked down at her hands, on each were two crescent shaped indentations, dripping with blood. She stared down at them in shock. They couldn't be bleeding. She'd cut them that night, as she had ever nighor tor the past three years. She'd woken up every morning since she was thirteen, with her hands clenched in fists. After a couple months of waking up with her hands bloody, she had finally thought to cut them. But by then she had already had flittlittle scars. To remind her in the day of the hell she would go through at night. She'd thought that the dreams would fade as she got older. Thought that one day she might be free of him. But they were only getting stronger. This had been the worst one yet. She remembered clearly the feel of his lips on hers, the feel of him inside her. She felt bile rise in her throat, and quickly disentangled herself from the sheets, running to the bathroom. She threw up until there was nothing left. She stripped off her sweaty nightgown, stepping into the shower, and turning the water as hot as she could stand it. She scrubbed herself raw, but she couldn't wipe away the memory of him, of what he'd done. She pounded her fist against the shower wall in anger. She wouldn't let him do this to her. She wouldn't let her fear of him ruin her life. She was stronger than that. She'd studied hard, harder than her classmates, because she knew what they didn't seem to realize. She never complained about homework, indeed she often studied things on her own that weren't on the curriculum. Not for grades like Hermione, or recognition like Percy. No she studied for survival. She knew that knowledge was power and without it you were helpless. And she had sworn she'd never be helpless again. She'd never be used again, because she was weak. Look at me, she thought. Cowering in here like some scared little girl. She wasn't some weak little first year anymore. In fact she was the strongest and smartest witch in her grade. She was so ahead of the rest of her class that she'd been allowed to skip a year and would be graduating this year. She thought back to the day Dumbledore had told her.
He'd caught her in the hall saying he needed to discuss something with her. Although she hadn't done anything wrong, she still felt apprehensive as she'd sat across from him.
He sat staring at her for a long moment, most students felt compelled to break sil silence, but she just sat there staring resolutely back at him.
"All your teachers tell me that you already know all the materiel they're teaching you. They all seem to agree that you're not being challenged enough."

She merely raised an eyebrow, declining to comment.

Dumbledore struggled to hide a smile. "As a result, we've all decided that you should skip your sixth year and graduate next year with the seventh years." He watched as her face broke into a smile. "Unless of course you don't want to leave your friends or feel it would be too much pressure. The decision is of course, yours to make."

"No, it's not too much pressure. I defiantly want to do it," she hurried to assure him. A whole year early, she thought slightly dazed. She wanted nothing more than to leave the school. She hoped that once she left that maybe the memories would fade and the dreams would stop. Maybe she could finally forget it all.

Not bloody likely, she thought as she climbed out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her. She wasn't at school now was she, and the memories were as painfully clear as ever. And the dreams, the dreams were only getting stronger. She'd been a fool to think it would go away once she left school. She stood in front of the mirror frowning at her lip. There was a little cut where she'd bitten it and it was starting to swell. No she wasn't just going to wait around, doing nothing and hoping the dreams would fade. She was going to do something about it. She pressed her fingertip to her lip staring at the drop of blood. She looked back into the mirror, her face hardening. "This is the last drop of blood you'll get from me Tom, I swear it."

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Later that morning Ginny sat at the table, sipping her tea, watching her mother dash around the kitchen.


Molly Weasley went to the bottom of the stairs. "Ron Weasley, get down here right now, if we don't leave in five minutes you'll miss the train."
There was a faint grumble followed by a promise that he would be down in a minute. Satisfied that he was taken care of, Molly turned to Ginny. She sighed as she looked at Ginny who was sitting sipping her tea like she had all the time in the world. "Ginny what do you think your doing? Get upstairs and pack, you don't want to be late, do you?"

"I'm already packed," Ginny said with a small smile.

"Packed already? What time did you wake up?

"A few hours ago. I woke up and couldn't backback to sleep."

"What's wrong," Molly said reaching over to lay her hand on Ginny's forehead,"Are you sick?"

"No Mum, I'm not sick," she said rolling her eyes. She softened a little noting the worry in her mother's eyes. "I guess I'm just nervous about school."
Molly smiled squeezing Ginny's hand lightly. " You have nothing to worry about. You're brilliant. The teachers wouldn't have moved you up if they didn't think you were ready. And I know it will be awkward not having your friends in the same class with you, but Ron will be there, and Harry and Hermione of course. So you'll have some friends to help you."

Friends, right, Ginny thought, but pasted a smile on her face."You're right I didn't think about them being there for me, I feel much better now."

Molly smiled and started to rise but stopped frowning. "Ginny what happened to your lip?"
Ginny's hand flew to her lip. She'd completely forgotten about it in the rush to pack this morning. "Well I..." she started to say, but thankfully Ron came rushing down the stairs, his trunk banging on each step as he drug it down the stairs.

"All ready. And with a minute to spare too," he said with a grin. "Still we should probably get going, I want to get good seats on the train."

In the rush to get to the station, Molly completely forgot about her lip, and Ginny silently thanked Ron for his timely interruption.

As they boarded the train, Ginny turned to Ron. "I'm going to go to the lavatory, I'll meet you in the cabin."

He nodded absently and opened the door, stepping into the cabin. Ginny heard Hermione and Harry's shouts of greeting, and hurried quy toy toward the bathroom before they could see her. In the rush Ron hadn't noticed her lip. But she knew that Hermione wasn’t quite as unobservant as her brother and she didn't want to have to explain her swollen lip.
She shut the bathroom door behind her and turned toward the mirror. She winced. It was defiantly noticeable. She quickly took out her wand and said a healing spell. Smiling as she watched her lip return to normal. She didn't give the thought to doing magic outside of school. Rules were only something that she followed until they became inconvenient. She looked down at her hands, she'd remembered to heal them this morning, so there were only the old scars, a testament to her weakness. She felt anger rise in her, if there was one thing she despised it was weakness. Well she was through being afraid, she would conquer this. No matter what she had to do.
She walked slowly out of the bathroom, wondering how she was going to stay awake long enough to find a spell to rid her of the dreams. She refused to go to sleep again. She didn't know if she could handle another dream like the one last night. She was deep in thought, and as a result, she turned the corner and ran right into someone. She muttered an apology and went to pass, not bothering to see who it was. A strong hand gripped her arm and she turned frowning up into the face of Gregory Goyle.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here, it's a Weasley." He leaned forward close enough that she could smell his putrid breath. "I don't like Weasley's."

"And I don't like people with Halitosis breathing in my face. It seems our current situation isn't going to please either of us, so I suggest you let me go and we can both be on our merry way, hopefully never crossing paths again," she said with a smile.

He frowned tightening his grip on her arm.

She gave a little sigh. She really wasn't in the mood for this. She slipped her wand out of the edge of the sleeve of her free arm, pointing it up at the arm that held her. "Brazio Frius," she said in a low voice.

He immediately let go of her arm, gripping the arm she'd spelled with his other hand. "It's so cold. What did you do to me?"

She smiled saying in a friendly tone," I froze it. It's a little spell I read about in a book called Battlefield medicine for dummies. They use it to preserve a limb that's been detached so that they can reattach it later." She cocked her head looking curiously at his arm, it was beginning to turn slightly blue. "I don't think it's ever been done while attached to a person before. I wonder what it will do?" In reality it was just a spell to make your arm feel frozen. If she'd actually frozen it he might have lost the arm.

He paled as he looked down at his arm then back up to her smiling face. "Please take it off, I promise never to bother you again. Please
Sh
She gave him a considering look. " Well I don't know, maybe I should leave it to teach you a lesson. If you bothered me again, I might get angry and then I might really hurt you and we don't want that do we?" She shook her head slowly and almost smiled when he shook his head along with her.
"Alright I suppose if you agree to leave me alone then I will take it off."

"I promise. I'll never bother you again, just please take it off."

She smiled and lightly tapped her wand to his arm. "Finite incantum."

She watched as his arm returned to its natural color. He sighed in relief and fled.

She shook her head, turning to leave, but stopped when she heard the sound of someone clapping. She looked around and narrowed her eyes as they fell on Draco Malfoy who was lounging in a door way.

He stepped toward her, clapping his hands slowly together a few more times."Bravo, Weasley, I'm impressed. And shocked. I can't believe that a good little Gryffindor would do magic outside of school. As a prefect it's my duty to take points."

She rolled her eyes. She had important things to think about, she didn't have time to waste on Draco Malfoy. "Since I'm on the Hogwarts Express, which is the property of Hogwarts, hence the name, I'm technically on school property, thus I can do magic. But go ahead. I couldn't really care less. I'm sure you don't need a valid reason to take points from Gryffindor," she said over her shoulder as she walked down the hall and through the door.

He stood staring at the now empty corridor. He couldn't believe she'd just left. He hadn't even had time to form a comeback. Some little Gryffindor had gotten the last word. And she was a Weasley to boot. He frowned thoughtfully. He had been highly amused when he'd seen how she handled Goyle. He'd always thought that she was shy, she never talked much. Not that he had noticed her much. She was just Potter's little hanger on, and Weasley's little sister. Someone to use to piss them both off. Although when he thought of it she really hadn't hung around Potter much the last couple of years. He shook his head. She wasn't fitting into his definition of her and he didn't like it. Potter was a git, Weasley was a stupid git, Granger was an irritating know it all, and Weasley's little sister was a shy little good girl who wanted to be just like the other three. That was how it had always been in his mind, but now he was going to have to reevaluate his estimation of her. He prided himself on knowing people, it was dangerous not to. He hated being surprised and the little Griffindor had defiantly surprised him. If he hadn't known better he'd have sworn he was watching a Slytherin. He'd have to keep a close eye on her.



Ginny stood outside the cabin door, wondering if she should go in or not. When she was younger she'd have given anything to be included in their group, now it was the absolute last thing she wanted. Not that they ever would include her anyway. They'd just huddle together and forget about her, until something made them remember, then they would awkwardly try to include her. What she wanted right now was to be alone. She had a lot of things to think about. She had just decided to leave, when the door flung open. Harry stepped out giving her a smile.

"Hey Ginny, I was just going to go looking for you."

"Really," she said not bothering to keep the irritation out of her voice. She pushed past him taking a seat by the window. She looked around seeing that they were the only people in the cabin. No wonder he'd remembered she existed, the other two members of his triumvirate weren't here to distract him.

Harry looked startled by her abrupt tone and adjusted his glasses before shutting the door and coming to sit beside her. "I've been wanting to talk to you. I know it must be hard to skip a whole grade, but I just want you to know I'll be there for you. If you want to talk or if you need anything."

"Don't worry Harry, I'll be fine. I can handle it on my own, I've had lots of practice."
Harry looked down at his lap for a moment. When he looked at her, it was with a slightly pained expression. "I know that we haven't been as close as we could have been. It's just, with you being in a different grade, we didn't really have any time to get to know each other well. Now that were in the same grade, well, I'm really happy for the chance to get to know you better. I've always wanted to."

There was something in his voice that made her turn to look at him. What she saw in his eyes made her turn abruptly back to the window. Great, this is just what I need. Harry gets a crush on me at the most inconvenient time possible. This would probably mean that they would try try to include her. She had to bite back a groan. The last thing she needed was the trio hanging around bugging her. Harry looked to be about to say something when Ron, and Hermione burst into the room.

"Oh relax, Hermione, I'm not going to drop..." he trailed off as the chocolate frog sed ted through his fingers. Harry got up to help and Ginny was once more grateful for the timely interruption. It seemed her brother was good for something. She'd have to buy him a gift.



Later that night she sat on her bed, staring at her room. She'd been pleasantly surprised when Dumbledore had informed her that she was to have her own room, as a reward for her academic achievements. Now she didn't have to worry about making excuses or hiding what she was working on. She glanced up at the clock on the wall. She blinked a few times before she could make it out. It was just a little before four in the morning. She returned her attention back to her book, the words were starting to become blurry. She was so tired. If she could just take a little nap, just for a minute. Her eyes started to close and she leaned back against her pillow. Surely a few minutes wouldn't hurt she thought sleepily. That thought cleared her mind and her eyes snapped open. Of course it could hurt, and it would. She couldn't believe that she'd almost fallen asleep. She stood up and went to the bathroom, splashing water on her face. She looked at herself in the mirror, watched the water drip off her chin. I won't go to sleep she thought angrily. I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep