Dum Spiro, Spero-While I Breathe, I Hope

Disclaimer : I don’t own Harry Potter in any way, it all belongs to J.K. Rowling. The Draconians are my thing though.

Notes and warnings : This story was ‘Where to Go For Faith’ which mutated into this gory, violence filled story. Well, in itself, it’s probably falling into the Au-ish category, as it’s quite…different. And the main couple is something I’m debating on, it’s to be either a Sirius/Snape or Remus/Snape, but it‘s looking to be fairly Sirius/Snape centric. Plus it’s Harry/Draco centric. Maybe I’ll li to to popular demand. So that means I need lots of reviews!

 

Dum Spiro, Spero
(While I breathe, I hope)
Part 1 : Ab Initio - From the beginning
By Reppa

 
 
 
Reality had shattered into a million fragments as his breast bone had when the cold blade of steal dug into his frail form and he felt himself penetrated below elsewhere. Over and over again, unrelenting, always missing his heart and always thrusting deeper. It gouged at him like a ravenous wolf as his blood spilled everywhere and pain lanced through him like fiery electricity, any ecstasy he could have felt in the sex was as dead as a corpse. His mind was reeling madly from the murderous rape and he was frightened he’d die in madness and haunt the halls as an unhappy specter glaring enviously at the living.

He winced only once or twice as he felt the burning in his wounds, his arms being restrained by the assaulter’s accomplice to insure little struggle. But there wasn’t any attempt to cover his mouth to stop his screams of misery, so unnecessary as there was probably no one for only God knew how far away. He was ensnared by the net and gut like an animal.

And satisfaction was plainly written across his attacker’s face, especially when the fiend thrust himself in. It would have been just fine, had it only been that he was being killed, but being raped as well tore him mentally and physically. He had always heard of these things happening, only read of them, he had never thought he’d be subject to the pain and humiliation of the situation he was in. Whichever was most painful, what was happening to him or that he couldn’t fight against it, he was lost as he felt himself slowly slipping into unconsciousness.

All the while his heart wouldn’t give though, it beat and it beat and it beat and he wasn’t sure if that enraged his attacker more ove hve him complete and utter enjoyment. He couldn’t tell as he slipped into the hollow existence of nothingness with one last choking cry tearing from his blood clotted throat and his body was soon overcome with a dull numbness.

It was blurry, like the woods when they were wrapped in a blanket of fog that hung and drifted about the forest floor in a dream-like fashion. So surreal and unnatural everything about him it felt as if there was no black and white, no read fad fake, no then and now or up and down. There was no joy and sadness, no bliss and pain as everything seemed melted together in a swirling vat of light. A floating sensation was all he felt and all he saw was darkness and fading blotches of color. A droning noise hung in his ears and the faint taste of blood filled his mouth. Maybe he was dead, he reasoned, Maybe this is what the afterlife is.

Or maybe it wasn‘t. There was no light at the end of the tunnel or no hellish flames surrounding him, but this disturbing void where he was. No God or Satan, no angels or demons. Just nothingness. And then his heart gave a lurch, or he thought it did, as it came dawning on him his self was still trapped onto the terra, still confined in his corpse. A shudder went up his spine as he writhed, aching to be let free, he had no wish to live after. The horror of the last moments of his breathing body wracked his mind vengefully, flooding his senses in a maddening rush of cold agony.

Death would be paradise now, it wouldn’t matter if his spirit soared upwards or downwards as long as he wasn’t shut in anymore. But all he could do was moan longingly before his psyche slipped into a state of deep slumber and the darkness caved in like a crashing tidal wave…

*

Brow wrinkling in a great deal from dread as Harry opened his eyes to stare up at the ceiling before he sat up. What had that been? If it had been a dream, it had been very…strange. And terrifying. That had been in the school, and it felt like it was something that had happened, not something that was going to happen. And had the teen with the knife been…Tom Riddle? It wasn’t too farfetched. If it was a warning, then the young boy was scared to death. He prayed nothing of that caliber happened. But it must have been, the scar on his forehead burned somewhat painfully, so he was sure whatever it was, dream, premonition, or otherwise, Voldemort was the cause.

Wiping his sweaty forehead, Harry laid back down to sleep for another hour or so, grateful no more nightmares attacked him. After a while, he stretched lazily, sat up once more, and climbed out of his small bed, the wizard in training looked about his meager room, formerly his cousin Dudley’s. Hedwig was soundly asleep in her cage, the pale light of the rising sun glistening on her snow white feathers. Yawning, Harry slowly and quietly exited his room once he had thrown on a pair of jeans and a maroon t-shirt and brushed his wild hair, which had no real point to doing.

School would be reopening soon, and he had to go to Diagon Alley for his sixth year school supplies. Which meant asking his Uncle Vernon for a ride, something Harry dreaded quite a bit.

His Muggle family, consisting of his Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and cousin Dudley, were sitting at the kitchen table, eating their breakfast. No one paid Harry any mind as the boy took some toast, they were still a little frightened of the lad’s convict Godfather, Sirius Black. He was very appreciative of this, it made living with them just a sliver’s worth more agreeable. The news was on, telling all the happenings in the Muggle world and Harry decided it was now or never as he looked to his uncle, “Uncle Vernon…”

He was given a grunt in reply from behind the newspapers the large man was reading, suggesting he had the large man‘s attention.

“Can I get a ride to London? I need to pick up my school supplies.”

There was another grunt, which Harry decided to take as a yes before he finished his little breakfast and returned upstairs. That had been better than he expected, so he reasoned they were getting pretty used to him and his wizarding ways. In his room, he wrote a brief letter to Sirius telling him his sixth year was to start soon and giving him a brief explanation of the nightmare. Hopefully, the old Marauder could figure out what it all meant. Then Harry read one of his latest books after sending Hedwig off until it was time for him to go to London, Vernon bellowing from downstairs to get his rear in gear.

Once he had stampeded down the stairs and into the car, they made for London. Once there, Harry was dropped off for his few hours of shopping. He made his way through the Leaky Cauldron, greeted graciously by many of the witches and wizards within on his way before he came to the brick wall to enter the Alley bustling with shoppers already. The boy let his eyes wander up and down the Alley. With a wide smile, he pushed his way through the crowd as he made his way to Gringotts, looking for any signs of his friends as he normally ran into them during the last week of the vacation.

Unfortunately, he also ran into people he wasn’t fond of seeing. Especially one Draco Malfoy, who was surprisingly unaccompanied by his two thug lackeys or his sinister father. “Well, it’s Potter! I’d say it’s good to see you, but that’d be such a terrible little lie, Voldemort would have a hard time saying it,” the blond sneered nastily, his silver-blue eyes glaring at him with poison in them as he crossed his arms over his slender chest, “Where are Weasley and your Mudblood friends?”

“Where are your troll body guards?” Harry retorted, brushing past the Slytherin to go into Gringotts, just a little visibly agitated. He had figured that’d be that, and that the Malfoy wouldn’t be following him in, but Draco did. A sigh was exhaled through his lips as he didn‘t bother glancing back, “I’m not in the mood, Malfoy, so bug off.”

“But I am.”

“You always are.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Did that sound like a whine?

Harry shook his head as he stopped in the bank lobby, paying little mind to the goblins that passed them by, and frowned at the other boy, his expression somewhat indifferent despite the faint hint of annoyance, “You always have something trite to say. I hope you do realize you’re really annoying, you little git.”

He was expecting Draco to get agitated and snap back like he usually did, but the blond just shrugged nonchalantly, looking quite cool and collected, “I was counting on being really annoying, what other reason would I have than that? Really, Potter, get your head out of your arse and pay more attention. And you’d better do so in Potions more than ever.”

The Gryffindor raised his brows quizzically as the Slytherin left him with that. Was he being warned? Maybe it meant Snape was really going to have it out for him this year, not like he didn’t before, but he could be even more so this year. Merlin, how he just hated putting up with the Slytherin house. But it didn’t seem like a threat, which was odd for the blond. Unless Draco plotted getting him into trouble as usual. Then shrugging as he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, he turned to go and retrieve some galleons, sickles, and knuts for his shopping.

The first shop stop on his list was Flourish and Blotts, the bookstore. There were a great number of new textbooks they had to purchase as he rounded them up, making his way to pay for them when someone’s arm shot out in front of him, halting the young boy. Frowning deeply, Harry glared up at whoever it was in his way to point out how rude that was before his scar erupted in blazing pain. Wincing and gasping with a hand to his brow, he looked down, breathing heavily. It took him a moment as the searing ache dulled down before he could look up at the towering figure again.

And he was rightly taken aback. The man was probably as tall as Hagrid, a good seven to eight feet tall with long black hair flowing down the the very floor in silky, though slightly greasy. His heart pounded furiously in his ears as he stared at the man’s face, sharp features, sallow skin, long nose, and the most disturbing pair of eyes behind gold lense glasses. One eye was a deep velvet black while the other was a snowy white, both baring highlights of gold. The stranger’s expression was a calm, smiling one as he offered a book entitled, ‘Mastering Divination’. “Here, you’ll need this for class, I assure you,” he spoke, his silky voice sending shivers down Harry’s spine. Carefully he reached up and took the book and once he did so, the figure gave him one last steady look before he turned away to leave.

Clearing his throat nervously, Harry took his books to the counter and paid for them before hurriedly leaving the store. Was that ever a creepy experience. Harry hoped he wouldn’t be seeing that man for sometime, but something was telling him he would and it sent an involuntary shudder up his spine. With all textbooks in hand, especially the few he picked up for his field of study, Defense Against the Dark Arts, he left the store to run into Hermione and Ron who were passing by and quite glad to see him. His face broke into a smile as they came up to him, both hugging him in a fond hello.

“Heya, Harry! I’m glad we found you! Looks like you got your books too, we got ours a bit of a while ago, saw this creepy guy too.” Ron pointed out as he shifted the weight of his textbooks in his arms. His major of choice had been Defense Against the Dark Arts as well while Hermione had chosen Charms. It meant fewer classes with her, but they always had meal times andf Gryffindor tower to meet up.

The trio made their way over to Florean Fortescue\'s Ice Cream Parlor where they were surprised to find Remus in his patched robes and a large black shaggy dog sitting by his feet and lapping up ice cream offered. The werewolf slowly looked up with his sparkling amber flecked eyes and smiled brightly as they approached, his hands resting in his lap, “Very good to see you here, getting your things together? I feel it’s safe to say I’ll be teaching again this year.” His voice was warm and crisp like fresh apple pie and his smile was refreshingly bright.

Harry smiled broadly, utterly ecstatic. He was so happy he’d be getting his favorite teacher of all time back but then he paused for a moment, “But…what about what the parents say and what will Snape do when he finds out?”

Remus smiled with a soft chuckle, “I appreciate the concern, but of course, Dumbledore found a way to by pass all of that, you know he always does. And Severus…” The werewolf paused, frowning deeply as he shook his head, “Well, Albus has talked to him, so hopefully it’s as resolved as I hope. By the way Hermione, there will be a new Divinations teacher and I say, Albus tells us he’s king of his trade, you may like to sit in once in a while.”

The brunette snorted, her books clung to her chest as she shook her head, “King or jester, I believe Divinations to be a waste of time.”

“You only think so because you don’t have the natural powers for Seeing. It’s quite all right, as the main purpose to having a little experience with all of the magic fields is a way for you to build an understanding and appreciation for others’ practices. You d hav have to be able to do everything.”

Whether that sunk in with Hermione, none of them were too sure as they waved each other off before all went their separate ways. Harry couldn’t wait for the summer to end as he left Diagon Alley and The Leaky Cauldron before he waited for his uncle to come pick him up.

*

Sirius was glad to get back to the hut and morph back into his more human self. His dear friend was seating himself at an old chair once he had picked up the letters they got by owl and the werewolf held up the letter Harry had sent that morning, “Oh look, Padfoot, Harry sent you a little something. .”
.”

The convict nodded before he took the letter and opened it to let his icy blue eyes scroll across the scriblings :

Dear Sirius,
I hope you and Remus are fairing well, school will be starting real soon. Everything’s fine here, but something weird happened last night-

Sirius frowned at that before he continued reading…

and I was a little worried. I think it was in the hall ways at school and this boy was being killed by someone who looked like Voldemort when he was in school. And when I woke up, my scar was hurting a lot. Hope this isn’t anything serious, let me know what you think.
Harry

The dark haired man’s frown grew in it’s severity as he looked to Remus, who blinked in confusion. The auburn haired lycanthrope leaned forward in his seat, frowning slightly, “What is it? Something wrong? I hope Harry‘s not having troubles…”

“Harry’s scar, it was hurting and he had a nightmare concerning Voldemort…we’ll have to tell Dumbledore.” Sirius slowly mumbled, giving the letter to Remus for his own reading as he took out some parchment and pen and began writing, “I honestly have no idea what to say here, but if anyone did, Dumbledore does.”

“That’s very true. But I don’t think he’ll have all the answers…” The werewolf stood up from the chair which gave an unsteady creak as he did so, he crossed the room to look over Sirius‘ shoulder on tiptoes, “We may have to sit back and wait to see what happens. Let‘s inform Severus too, he may see something strange before school starts.”

That name brought a scowl to Black’s face as he finished Dumbledore’s letter and folded it with a curt nod. He turned from the old desk to look Remus in the eye, his brows furrowed downward with a very stern look, “But you write it, I don’t want anything to do with that greasy git. Now if you don‘t mind me-”

“Write it, Sirius R. Black.”

Ouch. Moony had used his full name. That meant the werewolf was dead serious on the subject and the animagi sighed resignedly as he turned back and started out a letter for Snape. It wasn’t exactly the friendliest of notes, but it was blatant and to the point and told the potions master what they wanted him to know. Remus smiled as he plucked the letter from under his good friend’s hand and wrote at the bottom, ‘With love, Sirius and Remus.’

“Moony! My name is not coming after that tripe! Especially to him!”

“Oh, pooh on you, Padfoot.” Remus jibed with a mirth filled chuckle before he hurriedly wrapped up the parchment before Sirius could snatch it away for fixing. The dark-haired Marauder scowled at him, “I can’t believe you wrote that, With love…really!”

End of chapter 1