Dirty Deeds II

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Dirty Deeds II

15 February– later

If anyone was naïve enough to think that Albus was going to regret his interference on our lives – of his own accord, rather than as a result of some beard destroying charm – they would have had their little preconceptions destroyed within hours. Severus and I had nipped out to lunch at Hogsmeade after the littotiootions Classroom incident, pausing only to put on some clothes, only to find a note waiting for him on our return asking him to ‘drop in and see me about a special project I have in mind.”

Ah, so the torture begins, I had mocked.

Severus has a very well-developed sense of humour on some occasions. Chiefly at other people’s misery or discomfort to be entirely fair, so to say that he was about as happy as a three year old who has just had his taken his toy away would be understating things by a considerable margin.

Still he does look sexy when he’s pouting. He looks sexy when he’s grumpy – which is lucky really bearing in mind how irritable he is. Actually he looks bloody sexy all the time. Told him this, and he cheered up marginally. Problem is that comment obviously reminded him that Dumbledore clearly not going to make things easy for us.

Had to listen to fifteen minute rant on lack of subtlety of Gryffindors, coupled with wholly contradictory diatribe on their underhanded sneakiness.

Decided that not best time to point out that Dumbledore cannot both be underhanded and unsubtle. Also decided on mature reflection that was true – he is a sneaky, underhanded cheat, he’s just not very good at it – due to lack of subtlety.

Also decided not to ask whether sure he is a Gryffindor because not brave, and doesn’t keep his word, eminently not trustworthy. Sounds like Slytherin traits to me – best beloved apart. Could consider him to be Gryffindor on basis that only someone brave would want to cross both me and Severus twice in quick succession, and before the black eyes have faded as well. Decided that more likely to be stupidity though.

Dumbledore definitely Slytherin. Make mental note to look him up somewhere and find out for sure. Would be distinctly Slytherin thing to do to pass self of as Gryffindor and hence trustworthy.

Make further mental note to get something on the bastard so that he t ket keep doing this.

Severus, having built up a head of steam, then decides to flounce off to give Dumbeldore a piece of his mind – sorry, that should be attend the meeting. He was a bit surprised when I followed him. Asked, in exasperated terms, whether I thought he wasn’t capable of dealing with antediluvian bearded tit; pointed out that had every confidence in him, but might be useful to have someone to hold his hands when Severus hit him, and that also it gets me all excited when he’s so DOMINANT (brings back happy memories of potions classes) and so was actually going along to perv.

One of few times that ever seen Severus lost for words and blushing.

Nearly didn’t make it to meeting, but pointed out that Dumbledore best sorted out straight away, and that once worked up into suitable frame of mind had no intention of letting him out of bed for rest of day. He needs to be put into post-shag euphoria of a lifetime so can discuss tricky topic of meeting parents. Must get round to tell them tengaengaged; to my ex-teacher; who is twenty years older than me; who used to be a Deatheater; and who I used to call the most appalling names when I was a pupil. Behind his back, obviously.

I can see that conversation going very well. That’s why I’ve decided to tell them by post. Give them time to get over shock before actually meet them.

Shall tell them that Severus shy – which is sort of true – and therefore likely to be quiet. The only thing that I shall tell Severus is that even if my parents take an instant and longlasting dislike to him that we will still be getting married.

So we went to see the Headmaster. He wasn’t pleased to see me – can’t think why – and made some snide comment about this being a teaching matter.

Suspicions confirmed. Wanted Severus to do some sort of remedial potions classes on weekends.

Arsehole.

As if.

I mean guaranteed misery for poor Severus – hates teaching at the best of times, and tends to Darwinian theory of selection when it comes to potions. You get to take Advanced Potions precisely because you’ve survived the previous year without poisoning self or blowing self up. He’s always set the curriculum to weed out the most useless students: if you’ve had your nose drop off a couple of times, you tend to think of taking Aded Ted Transfiguration as being the softer option.

So he wouldn’t be happy with the idea of encouraging dunderheads even if it wasn’t taking him away from me.

So he shouts and storms about the office. Not joking about effect of him being stroppy either. Severus turns towards me and winks in mid tirade. He’s using the tantrum as some bizarre form of foreplay. It’s working. Getting a bit flushed and feeling very frisky.

Decide to cut meeting short so can get back to more important things.

Apply tactics much practiced on Draco to good effect during first half of seventh year – before we realised that the glares he was exchanging with Harry were not I-hate-you-and-I-want-to-kill-you but I-want-to-fuck-your-brains-out.

Odd boy.

Should have just asked Harry and saved them both a lot of aggravation.

Tactics consist of hard stare, coupled with meaningful wand twirling.

Penny dropped very quickly. Rapid change of mind. Proposal put into reverse. Result.

Such a gutless tosser.

Severus feeling all smug and full of himself afterwards. Looks sexy when he’s smug. It’s nice to see he’s enjoyed himself. And he had. Fundamental part of Slytherin make up – they like winning.

Severus has tendency to oscillate between two extremes: what you might call Eeyore Severus – all misery and mopey and convinced no one loves him – and what you might call Tigger Severus – not that he’s ever bouncy or fun fun fun fun fun (might become so with decent treatment over long period, we shall see) but he’s definitely convinced that the most wonderful thing about Severus’s is that he’s the only one. Which one you get depends on whether he’s getting his own way over things.

Definitely Tigger Severus today. God’s in his heaven and all’s right with the world. He’s practically giddy with self-satisfaction, and definitely feeling amorous. What a coincidence, so am I.

We decide to try the novelty of a bed for once. We don’t exactly dawdle when it comes to the removal of clothes and soon we’re naked on the bed, engaged in a mock struggle for supremacy. Decide that, since I was on top last time, that his turn to be in charge. He does so enjoy winning. So he rolls me beneath him, and he’s pinning me to the bed, and he’s all hot and heavy and urgent above me, and I pull him to me and refuse to let him go – EVER – even when we’ve finished.

So we end up clutched together like some latter day Laocoon, only without the snake. Unless you count Not-so-little-Severus.

So aren’t you going to mention your parenow? ow? You usually wait until the afterglow to take advantage he says.

Oh dear, am becoming obvious. Will have to change tactics. So pretend innocence and say that nothing further from my mind.

Calls me a liar and adds and don’t think I didn’t see what you were doing in Dumbledore’s office either he says.

So tell him that we are a couple now, and that never have to face things on his own again, even if perfectly capable of doing so.

Small pause whilst he works this one out, then mutters ‘Snice in my hair and promptly falls asleep.

Parent discussion have to wait then. Wouldn’t put it past him to be faking it to avoid the issue.

My sneaky little Severus.

Emphasis very much on MY.


A/N oops sorry forgot to say Laocoon is a statue of two blokes wrestling a snake, hard to tell who is what is which bit - hence very close severus and hermione